It's wonderful, well-acted, complicated, and thought-provoking, but is it a comedy? Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying it's a tragedy, and I thought it was brilliant but at no time did I laugh. Was the situation supposed to be funny? If so then I feel the film kind of betrays everything I got from it.

So what did I get from it?

SPOILERS!

I think that Todd Haynes is dealing with the same questions he asked in
I'm Not There. Can we ever really know someone?

What drove Gracie into the arms of a 13-year-old boy? Was she just naive, a very childish grown-up who did not understand the consequences of her actions and maybe finally found someone who matched her lack of maturity? Someone so inexperienced in sex and relationships, married to a controlling husband that she felt a need to explore what she had never gotten a chance to explore before? We see a lot that supports that understanding. How she breaks down because of a cancellation of an order. How she can't deal with Joe's smell, how she seems to not understand why anyone would be hurt.

Or was she sexually abused by her older brothers and like many pedophiles started a relationship with a boy of the same age she was back when it happened in the hope of exploring what happened and getting power over the traumatic memory? Her son says so. We don't know if he made it up or not. She says he did. How would she know he told the story? Maybe it's something he has told many and she suspects he will tell the story to Elizabeth. Or maybe he was telling the truth and told his mother that he did but she is still in denial and
wants to keep it that way?

And who seduced whom? They both say that he started it but that's what pedophiles always make it look like. Then again he was sexually active by this time and most 13-year-olds are horny. I'm not saying that that makes it OK. He was too young to know how to say no and most definitely too young to become a father. It does however matter if we want to understand these people. We get very different answers to this question in the film. Joe starts to question what happened and the farther we get into the film the more childish he seems, even to the point of his son taking care of him, like they switched places.

Gracie asks in the end if any of this matters in the end. This makes the question of who is seducing and using whom in the film even more interesting. Is Elizabeth doing this so she understands them better or is she just curious and using her power to get access that most people don't get? It looks like it. In the end, she plays Gracie as a snake, who seduces the boy knowing full well what she is doing. And why did Elizabeth have sex with Joe? Just because she wanted to see if she could? This family opened up their doors to her and she pays them by trying to ruin it. Even encouraging Joe to leave Elizabeth. She acts like she is not judgmental while she is very judgmental (again how she plays her, even wanting to go further with the seduction when she plays the part).

And why did Gracie and Joe invite her home? Because they wanted the truth to be told or because they wanted to prevent the truth from being told?

The fact that the film refuses to answer these questions is what makes it interesting. If this was all supposed to be funny then the film becomes much more judgmental of everyone and I feel it kind of loses its profoundness.

I would be interested in hearing if others thought this was a comedy and if so, what made them laugh.