the sam(ta clause)’s review published on Letterboxd:
This review may contain spoilers.
Incompetence incarnate. I could never have predicted how much of an insult this movie would be to itself, its audience, and the topics presented within it. An actual joke of an experience, a hollow playground of thematic mud dedicated to a nepo baby with no on-screen experience and a face that could've used a little more time in the oven. But it's not merely because Ben Platt looks like his polyjuice potion is wearing off that this entire ordeal was so terrible, it's the constant ignorance contained within every minute of it that it covers with vague, unearned emotion sloppier than the team behind it covered the fleshy, pulsating white-washed tomb that is Ben Platt's disgusting mug. I thought going into this film blind to the original musical would somehow give me some sort of blessing, that I'd be able to see something in it that the fans were unable to because they couldn't let go of a better experience, but, instead, I'm just left here wondering if there ever was anything for it to begin with. How can a story this revolting have any chance of existing elsewhere with any kind of minor change? A story where every single character, not just the depressed blobfish at the center of it, is a complete narcissist willing to twist the legacy of a suicide victim for their own personal gain? And the actual audacity the writers had to in any way consider a story about a lying creep manipulating the grief of an entire town was an achievement for mental health, tossing in the old "you are not alone" garbage everyone and their mother has tattooed on their backs at this point. I've seen school assemblies with a more heartfelt message for people who struggle with who they are. I actually cannot fathom the kind of junk this movie thought it was good enough to put its audience through. I had to watch this zombified pedophile-looking car accident corpse fall from a tree so many times that I felt like pulling such a stunt myself. I don't want to think about this life-draining, self-absorbed, 2-hour-long acid pool ever again. Peace out, I hope the writers will be forever haunted by the sounds of Ben Platt's voice cracks in their dreams and in their halls at night.
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