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Nothing about Saltburn can be described as subtle. The photography is glossy, dappled by a never-ending sunlight to showcase Jacob Elordi’s and Barry Keoghan’s abs, ass, and shoulders. Since when was England this sunny? The acting is pretty one-note, each performer fulfilling an obvious duty from an uninspired script, except for Rosamund Pike, who has the movie’s great line of dialogue—a tasty little quip about the finer points of the two sexes. The worst performance comes from Archie Madekwe, who plays a villain of sorts, except Madekwe’s delivery never possesses the venom the role necessitates. He feels like a character from a Disney Channel show who walked onto the set of this raunchy thriller-comedy. He’s never funny, nor thrilling.
Which brings us to the raunch, the ostensible reason Saltburn has garnered such buzz. I won’t spoil anything, but I thought Keoghan brought the right aura of darkness and sex (aided by his new bulky physique) to the role, making those scenes intended to shock us work…somewhat. The trouble is, the storytelling is too heavy-handed and predictable, the characters too inconsistent, their motivations too confused, to shock us beyond these scenes as mere standalone images. They lack the narrative…juice, shall I say, to push Saltburn into more interesting and memorable territory. If someone asks me a year from now about this movie, will I remember the image of Keoghan dancing naked in an English manor? Yes, but I won’t remember why.
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