when they inevitably make the one direction bio-pic they gotta make them into ferrets.

Okay, my girlfriend and i went to secret cinema scared to death that they were gonna play den of thieves 2 when we were hoping and praying it would be what we called “monkey movie” cause we couldn’t remember the name of it. Our prayers were answered and my god, i am truly speechless. This comes out on Thursday and i was planning on seeing it anyways just to see and if you’re thinking about doing that, fucking do it.

If anything i would have to recommend seeing this off the base that it’s just something you have to fucking see. Not based on enjoyment, just on the fact that you can say you’ve seen this because i promise you, for better or for worse, at no point could you predict where it was going. It makes it even more ridiculous if you have no idea who the fuck robbie williams is. I guess they really overestimated how famous robbie williams is in america but it makes it so much funnier when you’re watching this movie wondering who the hell this monkey is. 

I have to give the film credit for being inventive, and for its absurdity, i found a good chunk of it enjoyable. There are multiple musical sequences that are pretty good. I can’t say i like the way this was shot, it felt out of control, but i though the way the story moved was very inventive and interesting. The songs are good, the dancing and blocking are entertaining, and some of them are weaved directly into the story telling in a really creative way. There’s a moment in the film that immediately crosses over the line though, and everything from there on out was even harder to take seriously. Also i don’t know who was responsible for the whole liam gallagher thing but holy shit was that funny. There’s an absurdity to this movie that’s on a whole other level. 

I think it’s funny that the real robbie williams (not to be confused with monkey robbie williams) had complete control over this and did absolutely nothing to try and sanitize his image because fuck this dude. Besides the start of his career and his clear exploitation at 15, there’s like zero reason the feel bad for this guy. Like you can get that the fame is drowning and shit but my god is he an asshole and the misery that he’s in and that surrounds the film is entirely of his own making. Although it’s honest and i guess on some level that’s due for praise it makes for a depressing and unsympathetic watch. 

This is way to long for this ridiculous film, but seriously is you have some hours to kill, see this. It’s ridiculous and absurd and i can’t really even say that i think this is objectively good, or if i even enjoyed the actual film but it provides for a bonkers viewing experience. If anything it’s not boring, a couple people’s walked out early on, it being a “secret cinema” but i feel bad for them because this is something that you really have to be able to say you’ve seen. I guess that means it moved me in some way. and if you partake in any green extra curriculars, this is the perfect movie to do so.