Paint Drying

Paint Drying

tw: dysphoria

first off hey guys I wanna say I’m sorry that I haven’t been very active recently and it’s due to a variety of reasons that I’ll get into here, which will make this review a bit of a vent.

although I am out to my mum and a few of my close friends, I am still terrified by the prospect of being publicly trans, but it simultaneously feels suffocating to have to present masculine and it has led to me being quite depressed. however I feel unsafe to do so in the toxic and queerphobic environment that I currently live. even with my own mum, although she tries her best to be supportive, she still often accidentally misgenders me and overuses male terminology. thankfully in a few months I’ll be able to go to uni and present naturally as Joanna with female clothing, hopefully much longer dyed hair (I want it to be pink) and hopefully even hrt although that is another source of worry and depression here because getting hrt here is really difficult and expensive because the referral process could take years. overall this feeling that I can’t truly express my feminine and lovely gay self for the next couple of months had made me feel quite depressed and lonely and that is only exacerbated by the conservative Christian nature of where I live that made me feel unfairly guilty for who I was for so long. thankfully tho this account and this heartfelt community has alleviated a lot of that stress and depression by making me feel more like the woman i truly am. therefore i thank all of the people on here who’ve made me feel so welcome and I promise I’ll be more active to support my amazing trans brothers and sisters.

love, joanna

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