I'm going to use this Paint Drying log as my letterboxed journal. It will not be counted as a film I've seen.

Hello everyone, I hope your all having a great day today. I thought today would be a good time to talk about my testimony as a fellow believer of Jesus Christ and how he's worked in my life and changed me in so many ways. I thought I'd also talk about how I'm passionate about film and why faith can be applied to them. So without a due, let's get started.

When I was first saved, I was 10 years old, and I wanted to be free of guilt I had as a kid of things that bothered me. After that, I was constantly watching children's cartoons about the Bible and all the stories I wasn't all well familiar with. In time, I had pretty much known every story every christian raised child would know of. Their was a part of me inside that thought I had known everything about the Bible and that their wasn't much else for me to learn after that. Of course, I didn't want to think that way since I already knew that was a prideful assumption. It was'nt until a little while later I actually started comprehending the scripture and what it really meant. I started seeing how I was still imperfect and their was more things about myself I needed to change, some of those changes being addictions that I needed to let go of. For a long time, God kept working on me and helped me realize the wrongs I had done that needed to be made right. I spent many nights of self-reflection and looking to God for help. To this very day I still look to God for spiritual help and He's shaped me in so many ways.

I believe even after a person is saved their's still plenty of growth for them to go through to fully comeprehend God's word and His plan for us. Nobody just gets it and never fails. I believe Christanity is a continuing growth that transforms us into the character of our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ. His abounding love for us is a free gift of grace for all who recieve it. I know I hav'ent always done the right thing, but my God is gracious and merciful to forgive me of my sins and cleanse me of all my unrighteousness. My goal in life is to strive to become more like Him in every way possible.

In my early years of high-school, I struggled to make friends in sports. Everyone was so different from me and thought differently as well. I never went to school with any of them because I was homeschooled. I would attempt often to try and engage with many of them in practices and sporting events, but no matter what, I still felt empty inside despite having four other siblings at home. I really just wanted to hang out with other people outside my own home who would like me despite my different life-style. Their was a couple of people I did like and hang with even to this day, but I didn't get to see them very often usually because of sports. For a while, I often wondered if I'd ever make real friends who liked me for who I was and I thought this was how life was going to be for me, that I would always end up feeling alone. I never blamed God of course, but I still didn't understand why things were going the way they were.

In the fall of 2023, my senior year, I decided to do things differently. I decided I would talk to some of my team-mates during cross-country season and try to be a little more socialable. Nothing crazy or outrageously different, just a little bit at a time. In the begining of the season, I talked a little bit to the assistance coach's daughter and we had some good chats once and while. Later on, I spoke out to more people on my team at a senior gifts occasion, and after that I became more invested with everyone on my team and how they were performing at each race we ran against. I no longer cared about how well I was doing but how everyone else was doing instead. I wanted to be available for them, to cheer them on and be supportive and even share more good conversation with them.

By the time the season ended, I started realising something. Something about me had changed dramaticly since the years past and I finally knew why. In the years before my senior year I realised I had been incredibly selfish. I only cared about being the best in every sport I participated in, and trying the hardest I could to make more friends and have a higher sense of self-esteem. I was constantly trying to do better for myself and not actually caring what other people were going through, whether it be sports or life in general. For example, when I started talking to the assistance coach's daughter, I noticed I never saw her mom come to any of the races she participated in. When I asked her about her mom, she told me she divorced her dad after giving birth to her and started doing all kinds of drugs. Her dad eventually got custody of her and she occasionally visited her once and while, but she hasn't seen her in a year because of how drug-addicted she is. After hearing that I was shocked, this girl was only 15 years old and she hasn't had a good mother in all her life. She even said the reason why she complements other team-mates moms is because she doesn't have one of her own. I couldn't fathom having to live like that, to not have a real mom. It was in that moment after asking her about her mom I became a lot less selfish about myself and I started becoming more invested in how she was doing rather than how I was doing. I wasn't in love with her by no means, but I cared about her. Later on I started caring more about everyone on my team no matter how different they were. Since the season ended, I've learned a lot. I've learned not to be selfish about myself or if I ever made friends. I've learned its okay to not always have people talk to me, because no matter what, people will if I put myself last instead of first. God showed me how to be confident and how to get out of my comfort zone, He's helped me become more self aware of people around me who need grace more than ever. In a way, God seriously changed me from whom I once was a year ago. I went from being confused and embittered to caring and confident. Even though I was already a christian, I still needed worked on in my soul. Change is important to the christian walk. Without it we cease to grow in our faith as believers.

The exact time in which I became invested in film is still unknown to me. I think it happened in 2021 when I started watching videos on Youtube about people's taste in film and why they liked their favorites so much. It interested me into seeing more films I had never seen before and helped me develope my own taste. I believe film is both an art-form and a pleasant source of entertainment in which our brains can be allowed to be turned off. I believe film can be artful and teach us lessons about ourselves and how we as human beings can live to be better people. I also believe film can simply entertain us for the sake of entertaining us. Even though I think both of my previous statements are true, the number one thing that's most important for a film in my opinion is the impact it leaves on an audience. A film can be dumb and silly and still have an impact on people as long as its written properly. The writing of a film is what makes it good or bad in my opinion. As time has progressed, I've seen how many films suceeded or failed in the writing department. For example, The Prince's Bride is a very dumb, silly movie, but the writing in how the story is told is what makes it shine. An example of bad writing would be something like that of Jaws: the Revenge. In that film, none of the writing makes any sense because of how the film is trying to take itself seriously and yet fails while doing so by having the shark "take revenge". I could name many other examples of good or bad writing but that will have to wait. I believe faith can be applied in film as well. In fact, I think the most meaningful or impactful films of our time are usually the ones influenced by christian beliefs and moral values. Some examples I could name off would be The Green Mile, The Lord of the Rings, Inception, Jurassic Park, 12 Angry Men, Schindler's List, The Prestige, The Lion King, The Dark Knight trilogy, the OG Star Wars trilogy, Eighth Grade, Toy story, The ShawShank Redemption, Gladiator, and ect. These movies to me have had the most spiritual impact to me and many other people who ar'ent even christians. Our modern-day society has been trying for years to eliminate all christian or christian-like values from all forms of media, even film. By my observations, the recent films that have been releasing in the past 4 years have been quite different from anything I've ever seen. They've become more woke and liberal, and have been pushing away anything pertaining to moral values or security of the family in favor of more propraganda. Films these days are constantly trying to make a political point and shove nostalgia bait and propaganda down our throats while telling us what to think instead of leaving it to the audiences to decide. I believe films should be independent of political beliefs and tell a story that engages the audiences with thought and perspective. You can't just make people like a film because of its political awareness or its openness to many minorities. People don't watch films so they can be told what to think or act. They watch films for an experience, a get away from the present world and into a world of imagination. Of course, this is all my own opinion. I'm not someone who's of higher mind then anyone else when it comes to cinema. I'm just an ordinary guy who likes watching movies and talking about them. I didn't join letterboxed so I could make one-liners like everyone else or talk about why I only watch "good films". I joined because I'm very open about my opinion and I feel like sharing my opinion to other people online is a good way of sharing my beliefs. Sure, I don't agree with everyone about everything on cinema, but I'm willing to open my ears to all opinions. I hope by sharing my opinions and takes on cinema and films and general we can all eventually come to an agreement on one thing. That Christ is our Lord and savior and all powerful king.