Watched in the cinema (115th visit in 2023)

Romance is a difficult genre. Due to its deliberate omission of (self-)reflection, it is virtually predestined to be one-dimensional and kitschy and to make use of numerous stereotypes. Accordingly, it's very impressive when a romance manages to get around that while still functioning as a romance and not a pure relationship drama. The romance doesn't have to be a silly genre. Films like Wong Kar-Wai's "In The Mood For Love" show that. But it's a very fine line to walk for it. The reason "In the Mood for Love" evades many of the usual genre problems is that the film, as well as its characters, is aware of romance. Romance is a dream, a longing, an escape from reality. We get involved in something that we know we will destroy as soon as we think about it.

With "Past Lives", another film joins the ranks of those very romances that succeed in walking the tightrope. Here, too, all the characters involved are aware that the budding romance between two school sweethearts can have no future. The attraction is not to the actual person, whom one has not seen in twelve years, but to the idea of her, the nostalgia one brings to her, and the longing for another life, a life with this person. What could have been?

This question and the self-doubt that comes with it are insanely important motifs in the film. To what extent are our encounters and relationships arbitrary and capricious? Is there the one, right way and should I have behaved differently for this? Or is it we ourselves who give meaning to our decisions and relationships? The film's central concept for this is In-Yun, the Korean idea of only having relationships with people you have already met in previous lives. The film and its characters are aware at all times that this is only a romanticization. The main character Nora even tells us that telling people about this idea is often a means to seduce them.

However, questioning one's own life choices is not only addressed in a romantic context in "Past Lives". For "Past Lives" is also a migration story. It deals prominently with the questions of ambition and the realization of goals in a new country. What are my goals? And what do I leave behind on the way to them? Aspects such as social and cultural or national imprinting of identity are more in the background and broaden the discourse around the arbitrariness of decisions. Nevertheless, they are no less important. For this extension has a clear part in keeping romanticization in balance.

And that is important. Because despite the self-reflective examination of all the issues, "Past Lives" remains first and foremost a romance. It doesn't take a final step of fully accepting the arbitrariness and seeing something positive in it. Despite all the analyzing and questioning of the film, the emotionality and the drawing of emotional characters, who just don't always make the most logically obvious decision, is and remains essential. "Past Lives" manages to create characters that simply seem like real people. People with flaws, people who are nevertheless willing to do the right thing. And that's why you forgive their mistakes, feel for them and wish them only the best. Precisely because you know that their situation cannot be resolved without suffering.

All this is supported by the mood of the film. Greatly drawn images that always seem a bit dreamy, yet grounded. The fantastically written dialogue and even better characters and great music are mainly responsible for this. Yet the film is never as melancholy as its themes might make it seem. The script has a delightful wit that gives the film a bitter-sweet feel. The editing and pacing of the film are also terrific. They make it very accessible despite the thoroughly complex themes, but at the same time leave enough room for many details in the script that could be analyzed in minute detail.