Me to Thor and Thor The Dark World after this watching this: Perhaps I treated you too harshly.

This is the worst MCU movie; this is the movie MCU haters say the MCU is. What the fuck happened here? How did Taika Watitit make this and Thor Ragnarok and Jojo Rabbit? Those two movies were absolutely hillarious with so many laugh-out-loud moments, especially the latter. Meanwhile I did not laugh once during this movie and I usually like the humour in most MCU movies even if there are plenty of jokes that make me cringe but the jokes here just felt so forced, so predictable and it didn’t help 90% of this movie was filled with jokes. Best way to summarise the humour of this movie is there’s literally an icecream shop in New Asgard based off Thanos’s genocide! This is the fucking equivalent of a Jewish town in Europe containing an ice cream baded off the holocaust. Who thought this was a good idea? Even freaking Korg was getting on my nerves at point. At least Thor 1 and 2 had plenty of chuckling moments and at least the Star Wars sequels didn’t have characters joking around every 5 minutes. This frankly makes the whole movie feel stakeless even though it’s about Gorr wanting to kill every god. This seem like a premise that should require a movie that’s generally dark tone and takes itself seriously and should feel epic but we never see Gorr butcher any gods other than in the opening scene and they turn Zeus into a joke! Seriously, that scene with him halfway through the movie was painful to sit through (and it includes a joke of Thor being stripped naked in front of everyone because it’s apparently ok for men to be sexualised like this), the gods have absolutely no weight and presence to them. The movie’s also way too fast paced where there’s barely any room for the characters and audience to take in the weight of the story since it’s just trying to move on to the next joke and it doesn’t help none of the characters act like they’re in a dark situation where they’re going to die. This movie’s a tonal disaster where it can’t decide if it wants to be fun and lighthearted or dark and epic. Movies like Infinity War, Guardians of the Galaxy and Thor Ragnarok do a great job balancing the tone by not having jokes every few seconds and putting them in lighthearted scenes and letting more serious, dramatic moments play out.

So the movie’s not funny and the characters are also terribly written. Valkryie and Korg are just in the movie with nothing to doand we got a fake out death scene with both of them; that’s a great way for me to feel the tension, great idea! Thor was also treated like a joke in this movie for the most part, he no longer is the mighty powerful figure we saw in Phase 1, 2 and most of 3 but just makes jokes all the time. I get that he’s suffering from depression but the movie spends no time focusing on Thor pondering over the loss of Loki, his parents, Tony, Steve, Natasha. Jane’s the only one who gets focus and even that doesn’t get the serious dramatic weight it deserves. Jane isn’t terrible but I just found Natalie Portman painfully unfunny and frankly that can be said for all the actors here. They’re all trying their best but they’re given despicable material to work with that they can’t do anything to salvage such a terrible script and I still don’t see any chemistry between Chris Hemsworth and Natalie Portman. Gorr is honestly Iron Man 3 Mandarin’s level of disappointment; he barely gets any screentime and I hate how they gave him a redemption arc and I’m sick of the entertainment industry trying to make villains sympathetic. There’s nothing wrong with that at all and I like villains to have a bit of depth but some of the greatest villains ever are unsympathetic evil maniacs. Frankly one of the best examples of a villain like that nowadays is Vecna. He has a backstory and has some depth but is given plenty of time to be vicious, evil and horrifying and that’s what Gorr should’ve been instead of getting a redemption. Also, if Eternity can give you anything you want, why is it that Thor didn’t use it to revive all the people he loved? The Guardians of the Galaxy were also super pointless in this movie, having two scenes and that’s it! They’re never mentioned again aside from Star Lord’s ‘shitty’ advice so that was a massive disappointment. Even the action scenes are honestly kind of forgettable for the most part. They’re not bad but they’re not gonna stick with me like Doctor Strange 2 or Shang Chi or Winter Soldier. They really lacked stakes and the fact that they were massive CGI battles didn’t help but some were decent.

With that said, there’s some stuff I enjoyed about this movie. I adored the opening scene of this movie with Gorr and his daughter dying and begging Ravu for help. The cinematography, visuals, acting and tone were beautifully perfect and is tied with Infinity War as my favorite opening scene in the MCU and it introduced the idea of the hubris of the gods so effectively. The whole scene in the shadow realm with the black and white colors was visually stunning and creative and provided some great Gorr scenes with Christian Bale doing an excellent job. I love the color palette of this movie and how it has actual color, seeing New Asgard develop was kind of cool, we finally learn how Jane and Thor came to break up and it develops their relationship, Thor kicking ass in his first action scene was amazing to see and the shadow realm fight was pretty cool. I also respect the movie for embracing Norse mythology with the whole concept and locations of this movie taking inspiration from it and I was admittedly surprised by Jane’s death scene even if it didn’t hit the emotional weight it deserved and I kind of like the resolution of Gorr’s daughter being adopted by Thor but frankly it’d have been better if it was set up more. Overall, this was one of the most disappointing films I’ve ever seen and the worst MCU movie. I went into it with low expectations considering the reception but at worst I expected something mediocre but this was a straight up tonal disaster and wasted what could’ve been such an epic and dark MCU story. Honestly I need a 5th Thor movie to come out because I will not accept this to be the resolution to a once great MCU character.