Not good and as bad as you've heard but there are the occasional compelling or interesting dialogue coverage, action choreography or dynamic direction sprinkled in that you can tell someone cared about making this work at some point!

- Genuinely adore that Ms. Web herself is just a weird asshole that nobody likes except for her coworker/implied ex-lover Ben Parker (yes, the Uncle). Like she doesn't get along with people, can't be pissed to hold a conversation she doesn't turn into a verbal disaster. Pretty great.

- Just so many questions. What does Ezekiel Sims actually do? What has he "built" that is threatened by three teenage girls that kill him in the future? There's ambiguity and there is straight up not answering basic questions you need to have for a narrative engine to be operational. Why does he also not wear shoes? I understand the character is like a strange person who sits like a perched animal in his wiki photo where he is also barefoot but this is a motion picture introducing bizarre characters and concepts to the general public like "seeing into the future" and "force ghost projection" (no one told me about this one) so when he wears a suit without shoes in EVERY SCENE after the opening prologue, I have to ask: WHY does he not wear shoes here? He has the supervillain/evil Spider-Man suit so what is that? What's going on here?

- That ADR is no joke. Jesus christ almighty good god in heaven what the fuck happened there???

- The VFX on the amazonian spiders are just embarrassing.

- Cultural appropriation Spiders?

- Chekhov's Pepsi-Cola Sign

- I actually like the setups for the trio of young characters. There's just an acceptable baseline narrative for a group of young kids who are abandoned by their own families and a character unwittingly thrust into a role of motherhood. That works in a better movie. These actresses will all go on to have bigger and better careers.

- Began groaning when the second half loses every ounce of steam it had mustered between the occasional inspired moment and devolves into a parade of fucking Spider-Man reference quotes.

- Every bit as bad/good as the ASM duology and sequels to SPIDER-MAN HOMECOMING. This just doesn't have the MCU name attached and is a low ambition failure instead of something that announces itself as "important" to a franchise you all used to respect.

- I like the needle drops! Ending with the always welcome "Dreams" by The Cranberries gets you some brownie points but just makes me want to rewatch CHUNGKING EXPRESS and DERRY GIRLS. In fact, perhaps I will do just that!

- Watched over discord for the podcast and shout out to Max who helped set it up. Apologies to Max for asking him to help set this up.