The MCU has evolved into being a crazy cat lady, figuratively and literally. I say that with all the positive and negative attributes that you could attribute to such a statement.

Thank god Imam Vellani is here to dazzle and entertain us and make The Marvels a, barely, passable film that’s unfortunately hindered by a stitched together husk of a narrative. This movie was plagued by rewrites and reshoots, and you can feel it. There's segments, connective tissue, that feels like it's missing. There's other parts that are still here that feel like they're from a different movie. There's a whole plot point about Captain Marvel going back to the Kree Empire and destroying their Super A.I. that feels like an entirely missing movie that would've actually worked as a sequel to Captain Marvel, but we never got that movie. There's an entire relationship (marriage?!) that is mentioned, sung about, and then forgotten. The destruction of a Skrull colony (even though Secret Invasion said all the Skrulls went to Earth?) is here, and then it's gone, and never mentioned again. It's all so slapdash, held together by strings and weak promises. I felt a constant barrage of whiplash in trying to follow this plot.

All that, and we're not even talking about how this movie essentially gives us an overwhelming amount of Flerken cats just to do the 'Cat eats human being' joke, no exaggeration, about 50+ times.

To say this film is a mess is an understatement. At once it feels like an integral part of the MCU, while also not feeling remotely important whatsoever. It has great characterization in Kamala Khan, an actual improvement (though still inconsistent) portrayal of Carol Danvers, and an unfortunately flat and underdeveloped Monica Rambeau. There's great costumes for Ms. Marvel, and a terribly bad one for Captain Marvel at the end of the movie. There's some solid montages and first act action sequences, but a lackluster and anti-climactic finale. Our central villain is performed well by Zawe Ashton, but she might be one of the most thinly written villains the MCU has ever given us. The movie actually skims the surface on some fascinating topics, but refuses to dive deep into them. What does a conflict look like when our hero destroyed an A.I. to 'free' and 'save' a race of people, only for that to inevitably cause more harm than good? This would be a great conflict to focus on, but the movie doesn't want to. What does it mean to kill your heroes by no longer seeing them as morally righteous? When Ms. Marvel is told, “Save who you can,” that shatters the mystic aura Captain Marvel. There's heartbreak on her face. A fascinating theme to explore... but the movie breezes right past it. For every positive there's a negative. For every plus, a minus. Seemingly all movie long.

But, you know what? This is at least fun. I laughed, I smiled, and I was entertained for a decent chunk of this. Again, most of this is just due to Iman Vellani being the most adorable thing on this planet. She comes across so sincere in her fangirl attitude. The star-struck look in her eyes, and her cheesy smile, just brings joy. She is by far and away the best part of this movie, and the sole reason I look forward to rewatching this. It's also nice to see Brie Larson actually have some character here. I'm still not sure that Marvel knows what to do with Captain Marvel as a character, but at least Larson is having fun now. She gets to display a bit of personality. Teyonah Paris is also trying her damndest here. Unfortunately, her character is easily the weakest in the film, and her development with Carol is stunted and unresolved. It's a bit disappointing.

As for this mid-credits scene… Man, I want to be excited. But the MCU has already did this exact cock tease in WandaVision and it literally ended with a boner joke. Just making the Fox movies cannon in another universe, damnit. I truly hope this is not how these characters are integrated. I really wanted them to all start out fresh. Sigh... I'm not hopeful at this point. In fact, the MCU in general is just leaving me bewildered these days.

Also, those effects were terrible. Just do the makeup, please.

The MCU desperately needs to figure itself out. It went from must-watch entertainment that was the pinnacle of pop culture, to a frustration and burden in the four years since Endgame. It's a combination of there being way too many products to keep up with, and far too few of them being any good. Honestly, the writer's and actor's strikes might've been the best thing to ever happen to the MCU. Hopefully it gives Disney time to reassess and straighten this franchise out. Because if it keeps going down this path, it's going to die a sad death.

But hey, if anything, I will say that I loved this sub two hour runtime. That was great. More of that please!

The Marvels is a passable film. Barely. It sneaks by on the strength and charisma of Vellani, some fun, early, body-swapping, action sequences, and a few decent character moments. But it also still has a world of issues and I don't fault anyone for not enjoying this flick.