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Talk:Shin Megami Tensei V/GA1

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GA Review

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Nominator: ProtoDrake (talk · contribs) 11:56, 29 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Shooterwalker (talk · contribs) 22:15, 3 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]


I'll take this one on. Look for further comments in the coming week. Shooterwalker (talk) 22:15, 3 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Shooterwalker: Any update on the review? --ProtoDrake (talk) 11:29, 19 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Hey, I'm sorry to this open for so long. My work has been pretty hectic lately. I think it's safest for me to withdraw my effort to review, to make room for someone who has more bandwidth. Shooterwalker (talk) 02:02, 24 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Whadup - Cukie Gherkin (talk) 04:59, 25 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

  1. Is there any info on the engine used for Vengeance? (not a biggy if can't cite that tbh)
I looked, and there isn't anything beyond forum posts and comments. So, no not really. --ProtoDrake (talk) 08:45, 25 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Gameplay

  1. Be sure to be consistent in player vs. players
  2. I would mention that Macca and experience are also earned through combat (It is right? It's been a minute since I played)

Reception

  1. I would recommend tweaking the reception some to address any redundant wording. It's not bad by any means, but I feel it could be made to flow a little better, and I noticed at times the same word is used in two consecutive sentences (such as praised).
    @ProtoDrake: - Cukie Gherkin (talk) 19:46, 29 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
    @Cukie Gherkin: Did my best to eliminate redundancies, and did some tweaking for flow. Reception is always my weakest point when creating articles. --ProtoDrake (talk) 20:11, 29 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
    Same here. - Cukie Gherkin (talk) 20:17, 29 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  2. "Argüello praised the darker tone of the narrative compared to the Persona series,[4] Famitsu positively noted the "mood of a mixture of evil and godliness",[55] while Vogel appreciated the more character-focused approached to established narrative tropes.
    Changed to "series tropes". Does that fix the repetition issue now? --ProtoDrake (talk) 20:39, 30 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
    The problem I find with it is how it flows from the three points; the Famitsu part feels like it's meant to be the beginning of the sentence, with Argüello's comments not leading naturally into it. - Cukie Gherkin (talk) 21:13, 30 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
    I've flipped them round. Does it flow better now? I doubt anything but a top-down rewrite (which for my sanity I hope isn't necessary in the end) will address all the clunkiness. --ProtoDrake (talk) 21:55, 30 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

@Cukie Gherkin: I've done my best to address the two above concerns. Waiting on further feedback, from whoever can manage it (wondering, is this article cursed?) --ProtoDrake (talk) 08:50, 27 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Whoopsie, I got a lil distracted. I just read through Setting and characters and found nothing wrong. In Development, I would recommend putting the art director first, and then have all the content about Doi all in a row. Also, in the Music section, you can probably drop clarifying that the music is for SMTV (unless I'm missing something). - Cukie Gherkin (talk) 09:01, 27 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Cukie Gherkin: Done. --ProtoDrake (talk) 09:05, 27 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Spotcheck

Will do a spotcheck shortly.

  1. [1] Looks good
  2. [2] Looks good
  3. [3] Looks good
  4. [4] Looks good

As an aside, for things like the Da'at, where the Japanese citation doesn't verify it's called that, I'd recommend adding an extra source to clarify its name in English.

Anyway, that's about it. I can't really review the Plot section (I still wanna play it), so I asked on wpvg if anyone could do that real quick. - Cukie Gherkin (talk) 21:52, 30 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Re Da'at verification, the 4Gamer citation I've introduced includes "ダアト", Da'at in katakana. It was used in a similar way in the Gameplay section. --ProtoDrake (talk) 21:57, 30 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Oh wait, not Da'at, sorry, I think it was Demon Abscesses. It's not a big deal ultimately. - Cukie Gherkin (talk) 22:00, 30 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Added a reference for the Abscesses. --ProtoDrake (talk) 22:26, 30 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I consulted with a friend, a journalist who has played both SMTV and SMTVV, and while this is not my review, I take responsibility if the plot summary review is inadequate. He checked for accuracy, grammar, spelling, all that. Aside from minor issues about sentence length being slightly long, he feels that it is as well-written a plot summary for the games as he would expect. - Cukie Gherkin (talk) 23:26, 16 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

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