Here’s what child development experts think about the ‘beige mom’ trend

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Shortly after Nattie Powell’s daughter turned 1 year old, Powell bought her a toddler-sized Christmas tree toy just in time for the 2023 holiday season.

The tree was bright green with different colored plastic ornaments, topped with a fluorescent yellow star.

Powell, who often records herself DIYing various holiday decor and household objects, thought painting the tree neutral colors would better suit the aesthetic of her living room. But once she posted the updated toy — dark green with brown ornaments — commenters quickly called her out on a “beige mom” activity.

“We have so many toys that are bright and colorful as parents and as moms, and sometimes it can be really overstimulating at the end of the day,” Powell said. “I wanted to have just one neutral toy that may blend in with aesthetics, especially if we’re keeping it out for a couple months for the holiday season.”

Powell had not anticipated how passionately people would respond to the video, calling her a “beige mom,” and a “sad beige mom.” It’s a term that started trending in 2023 to criticize mothers who decorate their houses and children’s rooms in beige tones and purchase colorless toys and clothing.

While the parents are often criticized for their choices in neutral tones, experts say the colors don’t matter as long as there is variety and diversity in other areas of the child’s life.

It is OK to be a ‘beige mom’

Powell’s daughter didn’t seem to care, playing with the toy tree without complaint, she said.

“Viewers don’t always see what is going behind the scenes,” Powell said. “So many people saw the sad beige Christmas tree, but they didn’t see the thousands of other colorful toys that are stuffed in cabinets or in my daughter’s room.”

The ‘beige mom’ term has been tossed around to describe many parents’ situations, including those who prefer colorless toys, like to dress their babies in neutrals or maintain muted nurseries — and certain celebrities have also been granted the descriptor.

But what matters more than the colors of the rooms or toys, is the relationship between the caregiver and child and how they interact with the objects together, said Dr. Roberta Golinkoff, the Unidel H. Rodney Sharp Professor of education, psychology and linguistics at the University of Delaware.

“People are entitled to decorate their house any way they like — pink, blue, beige,” Golinkoff said. “There is no way in which this is going to harm a kid, no way, because the kid sees all kinds of color outside. … organically.”

Colors don’t even matter at first because infants can’t fully see color until a few months of age, so newborns tend to be more attracted to objects that have high contrast, such as black and white or other variations of lighter colors in contrast to darker colors, said Dr. Jennifer Poon, a professor of pediatrics at the Medical College of Georgia at Augusta University and a developmental-behavioral pediatrician.

As the child gets older, that’s when guardians can begin to see if their children have their own preferences, and that might be when a parent would want to find balance between their own aesthetics and their child’s wishes, Golinkoff said. For younger children at a few years of age, having more color can equate to more learning opportunities, such as pointing out if an object is blue or yellow, but as a child gets older, the conversations can expand to how they feel about different colors.

“It just gives you more opportunity for conversation if you have color in the kid’s life,” Golinkoff said, who also advised to be cautious when painting children’s toys, as some paints can be toxic for small children who often put toys in their mouths.

Interactions between parents and children

Parents or guardians who choose colors or aesthetics they enjoy might encourage more baby and caregiver interactions, which is most important for the baby’s development, said Dr. Tricia Skoler, an expert in infant brain and behavioral development and a psychology professor at Hunter College of the City University of New York.

“We know that being engaged with another person is going to improve babies’ learning and communication. So, one way to get babies and adults engaged and interacting is to create environments that both of them like. … And not to create environments where the kids are in one bright corner doing whatever and then the adults are somewhere else,” Skoler said.

Babies do need to see and interact with various colors, but more importantly they need diversity in their environment, which includes different textures and temperatures to interact with, she said. Having variety can make the environment more interesting and encourages more interactions between babies and caregivers to explore and learn about their surroundings together, she added.

“Mothers shouldn’t feel judged or stressed out about if they choose to embrace the ‘beige mom’ trend or not,” said Poon, who is also the chair of the American Academy of Pediatrics’ section on developmental and behavioral pediatrics.

“Rather, we want mothers to feel freedom where they know that their child’s development really is more contingent upon their relational development, not necessarily materialistic objects. … Playing, talking, having experiences together, those are the things that are really important for child development.”

Now that her daughter is 2 years old, Powell has started a tradition where she lets her daughter pick out her own Christmas tree ornaments so the pair can decorate together. She said it is interesting to see the colors and styles her toddler gravitates toward, like bold patterns and all shades of pink.

“I truly think that as kids get older, they do start having their own preferences, and I think it’s super important to include them in that process,” Powell said. “As a mom, I found it is possible to stay true to my own style, while still embracing the colorful chaos that kids bring.”