Do you have a friend who can't read Dog Man or at least can't afford to be all the books? Just read this to them. (I will add news books when they release to this blog)
Da first book[]
Chief: Yay my couch is here
Officer Knight and Greg: Let’s sit in it.
Chief: oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh officer knight and greg how dare you sit in my new couch u r grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded for 6942069420 years
Petey: im gonna kill those cops
Petey (again): oh noes a bomb
Officer Knight and Greg: lets cut the green wire, we hope this won’t set up a butterfly effect that would set up 11 more books
BOOM
Officer Knight: fuddruck you greg for being color blind
Doctor: waa the human’s head is dying and the dog’s body is dying
Nurse lady: let’s put the dog head on the human body
Doctor: your a genius, i hope you wont get into a super fast relationship in the 10th book
And then they did the procedure and stuff and yeah this book needs literally NO introduction at all
Chief: u suk dog man
Petey: vacuums
And then that chase scene with the vacuum
The cops: hooray for dog man
Mayor: chief u suk i will replace u with robot
Chief: daq
Mayor: so dr cu- i mean dr scum my evil plan will begin in 33 seconds
Petey: im invisible now
Dr scum: im gonna make evil stores
Petey: im gonna shut down these stores
Evil people in the stores: ghost ghost ghost toast
Dr scum: my stores r haunted
Mayor: daq
Robo chief: i will destroy u petey with my secret weapon
Petey: can u speak louder
Robo chief: I SAID WITH MY SECRET WEAPON
Petey: not today
Robo chief: ded
Dr scum: robo chief is ded
Mayor: daq
Mayor (again): dog man stop petey
Dog man: i will make petey wet
Petey: oh no im no longer invisible
Dog man: ur under arrest petey
Mayor and the cops: thx dog man you stopped petey give us a speech
Dog man: i know i will expose mayor’s true colors
Mayor: oh sheet
Dog man: ur under arrest mayor
Mayor: daq
New mayor: im new mayor i hope in book 9 im not as big of a grasshole as old mayor
Dog man: chief ur rehired
Chief: yay
Petey: i have crippling depression because dog man always wins
Dog man: im smort because of books
Petey: i will make everyone dumb
And then petey made everyone dumb
Everyone: me stupid
Chief: someone went uh oh stinky in my office
Dog man: i will find who went uh oh stinky in chiefs office
Petey’s butler: i get b*ners at trash bags
Petey: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9znm34xAm44
Petey’s butler: daq
Petey: time for some donuts
Dippy: me stupid
Petey: fuddruck u
Dippy: daq
Petey: i have crippling depression…again…and also im a slob now
Dog man: what is that smell, oh goodie books
Everyone: we r smart again
Petey: daq my books are gone
Long story short petey torture pron ensues
Dog man: i admit it i pooped in chiefs office
Chief: fuddruck u dog man
Petey: i got invisible spray yay, im gonna make my hot dog alive
Hot dog: hai wanna be friends
Petey: no fuddruck u
Hot dog: i have crippling depression
Petey: i will commit animal abuse by killing dogs
Hot dog: its revolution time, lets make some cheesesteak alive
Philly: im alive
Dog man: im gonna make me and the other dogs free
Philly: boomies
Petey: waa more hot dogs
Dog man: oh noes i destroyed the couch but its okay i guess
Book 2[]
Dog man: hey milly its chief’s birthday
Milly: yay
Dog man: i will get him a fish
Pet shop owner: faak u dog man for being dog man
Zuzu: hello dog man
Dog man: b*ner alert
Sarah: im gonna buy zuzu
Dog man: yay i got the fish
Chief: time to eat one dot
Flippy: oh no im getting overdosed on dots now im smort
Sarah and the pet shop owners: daq someone robbed us dog man
Sarah: wait a minute the person who robbed us looks like petey
Petey: oh no someone is copying me
Warden: ur under arrest petey even tho ur already under arrest because im a fricking idiot
Petey: im gonna rip off flat stanley
Boog e feva: u r alive now.
Flat petey: yay snitches, im also as flat as petey’s tail, also also boog e feva u r now my slave
Sarah hatoff: dog man the crook didn’t steal money he only stole chests
Petey: my impostor (sus) likes chests apparently, im gonna make a giant chest and a ray that not only confirms that some of the citizens are gay, but more importantly makes people wanna have s** with me
Flippy: im gonna go to a store run by jeff kinney from temu
Jeff kinney from temu: welcome to my store right
Flippy: i want a big grass castle
Jeff kinney from temu: that will be a million dollars plus tacks right
Flippy: here’s your chest
Jeff kinney from temu: what the hell right
Petey: im zapping everyone with my ray
Everyone who got zapped: put your [redacted] in my mouth, snitch!
Petey: holy sheet people wanna have [redacted] with me i gotta go in cat jail
Warden: petey your back
Petey: waa
Flat petey: im gonna make a giant version of the dry bones from mario alive
T rex: rawr i will destroy dog man
Dog man: i will make u not bad anymore
T rex: yay
Flat petey: daq, lez get some money boog
Flippy: stop snitch
Flippy: im gonna throw stuff at the tank, specifically obsolete stuff that gen alpha kids wont care about
Chief: alright let’s unmask this dude, oh sheet it’s flippy
Flippy: mega daq, I would have gotten away with this if it weren't for this meddling chief.
One explanation by flippy later, oh and flat petey and boog are at a mountain
Flippy: im going to the mountain
Flippy: oh noes im freezing
Dog man: that naughty fuddrucker is finally dead, woo
Flippy’s soul: im not dead, im gonna possess chief
Dog man: im gonna eat your soul
Flippy’s soul: daq
Flat petey: im still alive snitches
Dog man: snowboard
Boog e feeva: im free snitches
Flat petey: YOU SONS OF SNITCHES FUDDRUCKING SUCK, NOW I'M SCRAPED!!!!
Boog e feeva: rock paper scissors
Flat petey: sheet
And then flat petey may or may not be dead because the scissors might’ve cut him
Sarah: im going home
Chief: best birthday ever
Book 3[]
Chief: we’re heroes snitch
Chief: also some dudes will study flippy’s brain
Petey: i need a new butler i fired my old one
Petey: im gonna buy a machine
Lil petey: hai i exist now
Petey: daq
The lil petey hatebase: daq
Petey: fudruck u lil petey ur not my son ur my clone
Lil petey: i have crippling depression
Dr dookie: time to revive flippy
Dog man: im gonna squish flippy
Dr dookie: mega daq
Dr dookie’s assistant: let’s make flippy a cyborg
Dr dookie: lets do that later
One series of crazy events later
Petey: clone me i fudrucking hate you so much im putting you up for adoption
Dippy: i’ll adopt u
Lil petey: no
Dippy: daq
Lil petey: i need to use a bathroom
Petey: okay im gonna abandon you
Lil petey: dang it dad abandoned me im going to the police station
Petey: im starting to regret abandoning my so- i mean clone, is this implying me getting redeemed in the next 2 or 3 books?
Chief: dog man why the hell is there an abandoned kitten at the front door
Dog man found lil petey
Dog man: im gonna adopt u, come in my house and sleep there
Petey: finally my robot is done, now to find my clone
Petey found lil petey
Lil petey: hey dad where the fudruck am i
Petey: shut up snitch im gonna do a puppet show
Dog man: holy sheet lil petey is gone
Petey: check out my cool robot
Lil petey: cool
Flippy: I'M BACK SNITCHES
Beasty buildings: gooba gabba, snitches!
Chief: guys kaiju buildings are attacking the town
Sarah: let’s take out 50% of them
Dog man and zuzu: french salad dressing
Lil petey: die buildings
80-hd: ded
Flippy: I'M GONNA KILL U
Lil petey: im gonna make a comic for flippy
Dog man: hang glider
Flippy: time to put petey in a volcano
Lil petey: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SdCsamyMmo
Flippy: ok im not evil anymore
Petey: OH NO I’M GONNA DIE
Dog man: i saved ur life but ur also under arrest
Petey: daq
Flippy: yay me and lil petey r friends
Dog man and lil petey: yay we r friends
Book 4[]
Chief: dog man ur late come here or ur grounded
Mrs. suspicionflame: hi i may or may not be petey
Chief: hi there movie director dude
Sam e. Hamilton: we r making a dog man movie
Yolay caprisun: hi im yolay caprisun can i give dog man tummy rubs
Dog man: yay
Lil petey: yea ice cream
Sarah: guys they are filming the dog man movie and sheet
Ding dong magoo: doy doy
Samson j johnson: hi im a very not subtle parody of samuel l jackson
Scooter mcnuggets: mega ultra doy
Petey: i made evil costumes
Dog man: im gonna videobomb some scenes of the movie because im a stupid idiot
Dog man: sarah lil petey is gone petey stole him
Sarah: HOLY SHEETU
Sam e. Hamilton: crap i lost all the actors and props and stuff this is bad
Hot dogs: we r alive but we are robots
Sarah, zuzu, and chief: we r super heroes now
Sarah: im gonna give a hot dog brain damage
Then she did
Weiner leader: doy
Petey: hey cashier snitch can i get a big mac growth spray
Dippy: doy
Petey: freek u im gonna shoplift
Philly: i m alive too but i am robot too
Mech philly: rawr goodbye 80-hd
Lil petey: i have crippling depression
80-hd: I'M BACK SNITCHES
80-hd: ill explain everything in a comic
Lil petey: guys go to dog mans house i added a ballroom
Dog man’s friends: yay fun with rubber balls
Book 5[]
Lil petey: hey dog man i made some adjustments to your house
Dog man: kewl
Lil petey: also were gonna be superheroes
Lil petey: its breakfast time my dudes
Dr. katz: what up snitches lil petey needs to go to school, also im not petey
Lil petey: ur petey i know darn well ur petey
Dr katz: okay fine i am petey and ur not my son ur my clone
Petey: im gonna tell u a story about my day so far
Petey: so it all started when i was building a mech but i had to go to a psychiatrist and the psychiatrist told me that i went to jail 7 times and i’ve escaped 6 out of 7 times and then i used to be a boy scout with a pig, an ape, and a crocodile and then we went to golf but a storm happened and we got stranded and we tried to make a civil utopia but crunky and bub went crazy and sharks almost ate me and piggy but i sacrificed piggy’s glasses so we could survive but then the scout leader came and berated us for our deeds and my friends blamed me and i got kicked out. Me getting kicked out made me super mad so i decided to cancel the critter scouts. But then dr. katz was revealed to be piggy and he was going to get revenge but i dressed up as dr katz and escaped and i made the warden think piggy ate me so the warden committed vore end of story.
Chief: oh sheet a jail escape happened dog man meet us at da jail
Milly: HOLY SHEETU ITS A RIPOFF OF ONIX FROM POKEMON
Sarah: hai chief and milly jumped the fleas
Dog man: IM GOING TO GET U SQUIRREL AND IT’LL LOOK LIKE A BLOODY ACCIDENT
Chief: dog man come the freek over here
Dog man: ok
Chief: HOLY SHEETU THE FLEAS ARE GETTING AWAY AND THEIR RIDING ON THE DINO MECH FROM BEFORE, FEK U DOG MAN FOR DOING THIS TO US
Lil petey: hey petey did you know what the sidewalk did poop he pooped me love poop jokes
Petey: grr
Lil petey: HOLY SHEETU A GIANT BRONTOSAURUS
Petey: HOLY SHEET
Sarah: yea guys a giant ripoff of onix from pokemon i mean a giant robot dinosaur is attacking the city
Piggy: we r not crooks we r megalomaniacs we are the fleas, or fuzzy little evil animal squad
Bub: SNITCH IM NOT FUZZY
Crunky: SNITCH IM NOT LITTLE
Chief: lets jump the fleas again
Lil petey: lets go on the sewer
Petey: BOI WE AREN’T THE MARIO BROS
Lil petey: yes we r
One sewer montage and a million poop jokes later
Petey: lez go in our robot
Sarah: GUYS WE R IN DANGER HELP
Dog man and 80-hd: superhero time
Petey: bro i can’t be doing good deeds everyone knows im the bad guy
Lil petey: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SdCsamyMmo
Petey: nah i do have to be the bad guy, anyway imma shrink the fleas
Brontosaurus: time to make petey’s mech an exoskeleton
Lil petey: lez be heroes snitches, lez save everyone
Chief, sarah, milly, and zuzu: oh noes were falling
80-hd: marshmallow
Chief, sarah, milly, and zuzu: yummy
Piggy: were back
Everyone: oh sheet
Petey: its jumpin time
Piggy: lets team up petey, forget about that stupid son of a snitch that is lil petey
Petey: how dare u say that to my son, thats right, i realized that i really DON'T have to be the bad guy
Lil petey, crunky, and bub: fireflies
Piggy: why are crunky and bub catching fireflies
Lil petey: because its cool
Piggy: shut up
Dog man: im gonna become big like mario when he eats the mushrooms
Lil petey: BOI YOU AREN’T MARIO
Dog man: yes i am
Dog man becomes big
Lil petey: im gonna go inside 80-hd
Lil petey: can i have ur brown paint
Brontosaurus: oh no that cat made me brown
Lil petey: crayons
Lil petey: hey mega dog man squirrel
Dog man got shrunk and so did the fleas
Petey: I HATE MY LIFE BECAUSE CHIEF ARRESTED ME EVEN THOUGH I TRIED TO DO GOOD
Chief: okay lil petey your gonna go to dog mans house
Lil petey: yea
Book 6[]
Yolay caprisun: yo were making the dog man movie again but its animated wanna go to the premiere
Dog man: i ate the tickets in yolays envelope
Big jim: yo petey i accidentally ate my pillow in a dream (sneeze)
Petey: frak u big jim
Petey: that was kinda mean
Lil petey: cat hog building
Lil petey: HOLY SHEET MY DAD IS DISCOURAGED
Chief: dog man since you dont know what claymation is im gonna make you watch every aardman movie
Dog man: no
Chief: okay i’ll just give you a crash course, get some clay, make a figure, take a photo
Dog man: yum clay
Chief: darn, i knew claymation was hard, but i didn’t know it was this hard with a dog
Then dog man eating the clay figures
Petey: i cant be good
Lil petey: NO YOU CANT BE BAD, EVERYONE SHALL BE GOOD, EVEN IRREDEEMABLE MONSTERS, I MUST MAKE EVERYONE GOOD
Dog man: oh no im gonna barf
The fleas: lets make peteys robot small
Lil petey: why the fuddruck is there money, it doesn’t belong to us
Sarah: someone robbed the bank
Random cop and maude: ur under arrest dog man
Sarah: dont arrest him
Cop and maude: too bad
Sarah: we’ll save you dog man
Cop and maude: ur a misfit dog man
Dog man: dig
Chief: i heard the news dog man, i hope ur not guilty
Judge: dog man is guilty
Sarah and lil petey: oh no dog man didnt rob the bank lets save him
Guard: dog man digged a hole
Yolay: fuddruck u guard
Warden: fuddruck u dog man
Dog man: daq
Warden: time to commit animal labor
Lil petey: chicken + monkey = diarrhea
Warden: walk up my mountain
Chief and 80-hd: lets break in
Yolay: im gonna beat up booger breath
Chief: were at the jail but they’re closed
Warden: fuddruck u all
80-hd: im gonna cut the chain
Chief: we saved u dog man oh crap were gonna be late for the dog man movie premiering december 24 2018
Sarah and yolay: hey the dog man impostor is the fleas
The fleas: were gonna recreate the entire cars movie by making a car alive
Zuzu: no
Chief: we gotta watch the movie
Sarah, yolay, and zuzu: lets block everyones view by fighting in front of the movie
Fleas: lets make clay philly alive again this is the second time he’s been revived this guy is the william afton of dog man
Philly: i am alive again but i am clay
Petey: our bee works
Dog man and lil petey: superhero
Dog man: im gonna eat clay philly
Lil petey: dog man is ded waaa
Dog man: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KlO9MLQdWM
Lil petey: dog man u are so fat
Dog man: i gotta hurl
Dog man barfed and became skinny again
Everyone: yay the day is saved
Dog man: im sad because everyone thinks im different
Everyone: its okay we are different too
Petey: i gotta go to jail again son but we can play again tomorrow
Lil petey: okay
Book 7[]
Big jim: petey ur on tv
Petey: cool but some dogs got a pardon but not me
Thief: hey dog man play with this ball
Dog man: yay
Chief: dog man how dare you let the thief get away
Lil petey: lets use flash cards to make dog man focused
Petey: im pardoned forget the revolution even though this would’ve made a good storyline
Petey: im gonna get stuff for my son
Petey: lil petey me and you are staying in my house forever
Lil petey: everything is pretty
Petey: time to teach u a lesson about reality
Lil petey: no, and im not sleeping in my room
Petey: i wanna give u a good life because my dad sucked, i dont wanna see him again
Lil petey: bro maybe he changed
Petey: THE REAL WORLD IS A TERRIBLE PLACE!
Dog man and 80-hd: whats up fuddrucker
Petey: fine my son will live with me during the week and he’ll live with you during the weekend
Crunky and bub: up big jim theres a speck of dirt in your ear get it out
Daryl the moth: hi piggy
Piggy: daq
Lil petey: im gonna find my grandpa
Dr scum: IM BACK SNITCHES
Narrator: who r u
Grandpa: im here im gonna break some plates
Crunky and bub: hey big jim u r now the amazing captain underpants
Big jim: commander cupcake
Petey: hey dad i made some seafood crackers
Lil petey: you…don’t have to be…the ba-
Grandpa: SHUT THE FUDDRUCK UP MR. IRREEDEMABLE MONSTERS CAN BE REDEEMED
Dr scum: check it out i made these chain chomps without eyes
Chief: new villain alert
Dog man: balls r scary
Lil petey: dog man the city needs u, do good do good
Dog man: im not scared of balls anymore
Rat guy: yummy balls im turning into caterpillar
Dr scum: mech
Piggy: ring
Captain cupcakepants: yummy cupcakes
Piggy: no ring waa
Then a buncha stuff happened next
Lil petey: oh no our stuff is gone, maybe the world really is a horrible place, you were right dad, i have finally woken up
Petey: nah the world is a good place
Lil petey: well my maturity arc was wasted
Book 8[]
Lil petey: hey guys lets watch the fair fairy even though its literally just a few minutes of an old woman abusing children
A few minutes of the fair fairy verbally abusing tim and ramone later
Fair fairy: i promise i wont abuse children again on my show
The fair fairy did it again
Lil petey: this show is inappropriate
Petey: son you cant live with your friends during the week
Lil petey: supa daq
Sam: fair fairy ur fired
Lil petey: time to do a little bit of breaking bad style chemistry and find out why supa brain dots make people evil, im literally like 3 years old and i already found out that supa brain dots are dangerous, anyway can we visit your dad
Petey: NO
Lil petey: womp womp
The tadpoles: what up b**ch
Fair fairy: daq daq daq
Grandpa: im gonna make some me- i mean sleeping gas
Tadpoles: dots everywhere
Grandpa: switcheroo we can too
Tadpoles: we can fly now so lets make a living tree
Tree: die fair fairy
Fair fairy: daq
Tree: die city
Petey: what
Warden: hai grampa
Petey: no
Grandpa: fuddruck u lil petey
Flippy: im back and now im pardoned
Dog man: time to save the world
Big jim: time to become captain cupcakepants
Petey: what the heck
Big jim: i fight for truth, justice, and anything that has frosting
Big jim: time to go out there and save the world
Dog man and the gang: lets catch some tadpoles
Zuzu: im the only one with any intelligence on how to stop the tadpoles in this friend group
Big jim: TRA LA CUPCAKES
Petey: I HATE MY LIFE
Big jim: time to climb up a giant cupcake
Lil petey, molly, and zuzu: lets make an antidote
Zuzu: im gonna apply the antidote
Fair fairy: daq my tadpoles aint got no superpowers anymore
The fair fairy and grandpa were lucky to not be captured, but commander cupcake was faster than a speeding cupcake mukbang, more powerful than a cupcake store, and able to leap tall buildings without going into a diabetic coma
Molly and the tadpoles: lets join the comic club
Flippy: i wanna join too, also can i adopt you all
Molly and her siblings: yea
Book 9[]
George and harold: we never showed up before here but we wanted to mention this is the last book you’ll see us in so yeah
Dog man: im gonna do some stuff
Mayor: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9znm34xAm44
Dog man: daq
Chief: hey new mayor didn’t you say you wouldn’t be as much as a grasshole as the old mayor in this book
Mayor: oh yeah, i forgot, oh well, somethings are just worth forgetting, also i care more about some stupid teddy bear that i should’ve grown out of years ago than my life
All the cops: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Maude and cop (or as crazy gamer inc calls them, the ops): FUDDRUCK U DOG MAN FOR MAKING EVERYONE CRY
Grandpa: hey big jim im gonna use some helmet to mutate u into a hulk ripoff
Lil petey: hey dog man im gonna use some helmet to “mutate” u into a cat
Mayor: ur hired
Grandpa: im gonna mutate myself into a hulk ripoff
Lil petey: i forgave my grandpa even though he’s a horrible person because im a naive idiot with no brain (lp having no brain is kind of a plothole because his discovery about the brain dots in the last book is what got flippy pardoned)
Petey: WHY WOULD YOU FORGIVE MY DAD?! HE LITERALLY STOLE OUR STUFF AND KIDNAPPED YOU! He also allegedly abused me so that too! And let’s not forget that he literally is the god of betrayal!
Grandpa: i need a sidekick
Chief: im gonna turn my own best friend evil, albeit its undercover-ish
Petey: son i hate love sometimes you just gotta hate
Lil petey: wheres my grandma
Petey: im not telling you
Mayor: cat man is actually dog man im gonna kill him even though that makes me about as bad if not worse than the last mayor
Lil petey: i hate hate
Mayor: im gonna arrest the gang and let crud get away because not only am i basically just the old mayor now but im also a stupid idiot
Munchy: im alive now im probably one of the most uncreative villains ever, like seriously dav? A lunch bag? Also im gonna fishnap flippy
80-hd: i forgot there was a door here, just like how the creator of this blog forgot about me.
Petey: son ur “mr. love” when everything is good but when something bad happens ur all like “let’s get dangerous!”
Lil petey, molly, and the tadpoles: lets vandalize a lunch bag
Petey: i forgive u dad
Me: PETEY U F[dolphin noises]ING IDIOT WHY WOULD YOU FORGIVE THE PERSON THAT ROBBED YOU, IMPLIED TO ABUSE YOU, KIDNAPPED YOUR SON, AND BETRAYS YOU ON A REGULAR BASIS!!!!
Mayor: oh no my house is burning my bear will die
Me: bro your about to become homeless and you care about is your stupid teddy bear
Mayor: MY BEAR IS GONE AND IT’S ALL DOG MAN’S FAULT
Dog Man: DO YOU HAVE A BRAIN MAYOR?? YOUR HOUSE IS GONE AND YOUR HOMELESS AND ALL YOUR THINKING IS “duh me teddy bear is gone boohoo waa”, also i have your teddy bear anyway
Mayor: OMG DOG MAN UR THE GOAT
Chief: didn’t you treat him like trash chapters ago
Petey: i should have forgiven my dad years ago
A person with an actual brain: didn’t he do all that bad stuff to you years ago? DO YOU EVEN HAVE A BRAIN ANYMORE PETEY???
Book 10[]
Welp, we’re at the big ten…aka the second worst book in the series, i have many reasons, the removal of George and Harold, the lack of the main character of this series, the childish theme of love, and the mid villains known as the sippy cups.
Chief: im a gigachad now because im dreaming, oh noes dog man is in trouble
Cops: dog man made everyone sheet themselves
Nurse lady: hi chief this is book 10 so i hope im fine with getting into a relationship with you, just not of the super fast variety
Chief: okay (under his breath he said “i wanna have bedtime fun with her and have children with her so bad so im gonna make our relationship super fast”)
And then a buncha stuff happened next and yeah one of the reasons i hate this book is because its kinda boring to lets skip to chapter 5
Maude and cop aka the ops: u look bad dog man
Dog man: gigachad
Then some supa stupid boring stuff happened and this book is so boring im gonna have to sum it up not in order
So chief and nurse lady get together and they make out petey is on tv but its ruined by the most uncreative villains of all time aka the sippy cups petey talks about his past but the kids ruin it, jeff kinney from temu returns and i hate this book bye
Book 11[]
Chief: hey dog man, don’t tell nurse lady this, but i wanna make our relationship as fast as humanly possible
Booger breath: fuddruck u dog man
Dog man: nope
Piggy: im small and i hate it
80-hd: im suddenly rebuilt again because this book is terrible, plus we didn’t even see petey’s life in dog mans house so will add a sin for that. And another sin for dog man 11 making me do a CinemaSins reference (triple ding since 80-hd being rebuilt counts as a sin)
I hate this book so much that, like mothering heights, im gonna do a summary cuz its that bad and overhyped, you know what forget the summary because this book aint even worth a summary
Book 12[]
The good news is that this isn’t bottom tier dog man no more
Chief: remember what i said about making our relationship super fast dog man? Welp were getting to the meat of that plan
Doctor (the one who did the sad news): hey nurse lady, congrats on getting married. Wait, what book is this?
Nurse lady: book 12.
Doctor: and when did you get together with chief?
Nurse lady: book 10.
Doctor: DIDN’T I SAY I DIDN’T WANT YOU TO GET INTO A FAST RELATIONSHIP???
Nurse Lady: chief made me do it-
Doctor: DID YOU EVEN PROPOSE??
Nurse Lady: no, chief wanted us to get married so we can have ki-
Doctor: IS IT EVEN LEGAL TO GET MARRIED WITHOUT PROPOSING???
Nurse Lady: no.
Doctor: OH MY GOD THATS IT IM CALLING THE COPS
Chief: OH NO IM EXPOSED DOG MAN THEY FOUND OUT IM MAKING MY RELATIONSHIP SUPER FAST JUST SO WE CAN HAVE FUN IN THE BED AND HAVE KIDS
Dog man: i cant really be friends with someone who broke wedding rules, but im still friends with you
Lil petey and molly: here comes the bride blah blah blah blah underwear jokes are something something something
Judge: fuddrucking fuddruck you
Chief: lets go to our honeymoon, all were gonna do is just have s*x for hours with some breaks
Dog man: that wont change the fact that you’ll be arrested when you get back, also oh no im red
Long story short stuff happened and robots took over and theres a scene that confirms that dav is a literal boomer
Chief and nurse lady: were back and us not having our wedding clothes further imply we had s*x all day long
Some cops: ur under arrest for getting married without proposing
Chief and nurse lady: daq
trivia[]
- Fuddruck, sheet, snitch, and grass are just words coined to censor the f-word, the s-word, the b-word, and the a-word respectively.