The Five Funniest Quotes of An Englishman in BBQ Sauce

A tipster who appreciates both barbecue and British humor pointed the way to the pink-skinned and newborn blog An Englishman in BBQ Sauce. As one might expect given the title, a man from England (with very little info on his Blogger profile, but a comment would suggest the name of Cleaver, so Cleaver show yourself!), Gavin "awesome name" Cleaver, will use this outlet detail his experiences in Texas barbecue.

As Englishman introduces,

Welcome to the first in an infrequent series where I try to explain the joy of Texas BBQ to a British audience. Or, alternatively, to some Americans who will pour scorn on the entire endeavour, (even as I type this one of them is telling me I only go to low-end places and that pulled pork doesn't count) or to no-one, depending on who reads it.

For his first adventure, Englishman and his wife, who isn't actually named Richard, popped into Sonny Bryan's Smokehouse, OG. There, the cramped school-style quarters didn't take away from the flavor explosion that is Texas sauce (very different from British barbecue sauce). Englishman's overall rating: "would eat again."

EIBS just resonates. It is -- how Texans say -- damn funny. Thus, here are the five funniest quotes from Englishman's inaugural review:

- "This place makes the Constitution look like Macaulay Culkin... no, by 2012 that's a bad example. Although, given that "Since 1910" is actually in quote marks on the sign itself, I'm not sure even the owners believe how old it is."

- "In Texas with a British accent there is often a few seconds of processing time when you speak to a Texan, while they stare at you blankly. As for the trouble I've had trying to get orange juice and sauteed mushrooms (no, I've no idea why those two things in particular), don't even start."

- "I don't really like onion rings - but I wanted to get them because, according to one of our friends, they are "famous", a fact confirmed by a framed newspaper from what must have been a very slow news day in Dallas."

- "There are a lot of older clientele - we figure that's because the pulled pork is so tender and juicy, it's virtually liquid. You don't even have to chew it. Either that or they're just coming in to chug BBQ sauce from beer bottles, which is totally understandable."

- "The food is Texas-sized portions as per usual, so enough to feed an entire European family for a week, and "presented" lovingly on a large circular tray."

He went up a mountain [rimshot!], but whose barbecue will he eat next?

· Sonny Bryan's, Inwood Road, Dallas TX [An Englishman in BBQ Sauce]
· Sonny Bryan's Smokehouse [Facebook]
· All ZOMG BBQ Coverage on Eater Dallas [-EDFW-]

[Photo: Sonny Bryan's/Facebook]