Denise58 - I liked the message of this story. I did not quite understand from the story what a bubblegum kiss was, but that was probably not important. I did notice a present/past tense problem in the first sentence of the last paragraph where it said "a kiss pop out" should have been "a kiss popped out" but I did not mind. I only mention it as something to look for when editing your story prior to posting. It's important to some readers that the tense stay the same throughout a story.
Stellina - What a lovely heart warming story Titi-beautiful for a children's book for sure! I love how you have used such a lovely children's pastime to teach the value of self belief and the courage to do what you want in life.Lovely work dear, thanks for sharing xx
Liked: Stellina • on Jan 16 2025 01:21 AM PST x edit Stellina
Seamus - Ella has quite the adventure. She learns what is truly important. Best of all she shares her gift with others and brings smiles with her. Nicely done. Good luck with the contest.
Kevin's helper - Wow, stellar work! "This poem has a clear and relatable main character, Ella, and a sweet story to tell. To take it to the next level, consider varying sentence structures and lengths to create a more dynamic rhythm. Additionally, some descriptions feel a bit repetitive (e.g., the mention of 'pink' multiple times). Try to find ways to convey the color's significance to Ella without repeating the same phrase. Overall, the message about perseverance and believing in oneself shines through, making this a heartwarming and inspiring poem."
(ai)
Deleted: Kevin's helper - Wow, stellar work! This poem is delightful! What stands out is its whimsical and imaginative portrayal of a young girl's passion for bubble gum and creativity. The language is simple, yet vivid and engaging, making it accessible to children. The poem also conveys valuable lessons about perseverance, self-belief, and the importance of supportive relationships. The imagery of pink clouds and bubbles dancing in the air is particularly effective in evoking a sense of wonder and magic.
(ai)
Amazing!
Good work.
Lovely!
Amazing
By addressing these areas, the poem can become more engaging, polished, and enjoyable to read.
(ai)