Saturday, May 7, 2011
The Art of Patience
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
For me?! Thank you!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
True Love: A Human Heart Cupcake
That's cake! |
I saw this and absolutely had to share it with everyone. Lily Vanilli is supporting young people with cancer and delighting scientists, geeks and deranged woodsmen everywhere by baking special bleeding heart shaped cupcakes this Valentines day.
"Scarily realistic, each edible heart cake is baked with a delicious red velvet sponge, cream cheese frosting and blackcurrant cherry 'blood'. A single ʻbleeding heart cakeʼ is priced at £7 and comes in a cute perspex box tied with apink or red ribbon with a personal note."
The cake is available exclusively through their website and 20% of the proceeds go directly to charity.
For those of us in love with the idea of baking up bits of anatomy for loved ones, Lily Vanilli provides instructions on their blog. Doesn't sound too difficult, right? How about a gallbladder cupcake? Or a Kidney? Yum yum.
Whatever you do though, don't eat your bleeding heart cake like this guy (Warning: graphic cake consumption. I love the cake but I'm now a little scared of Tim Wheeler). Well you can, but I'm not certain you'll earn many points with your significant other on Valentines day--unless they're a zombie.
Monday, February 7, 2011
My Picks For Re-Inventing the Lamington 2011!
Mr P's Beautiful Peanut Butter Chocolate Fudge Lamingtons |
Those of you who follow Mr. P's blog Delicious Delicious Delicious may be aware that he is hosting his second Re-Inventing the Lamington Contest and I am taking part as a member of the judges panel.
It was thanks to Mr. P's Lamington contest last year that I discovered the delicious Australian snack cake, the Lamington. I also discovered, that with all their dipping and coating, lamingtons are the kiss of death to any fresh cleaned kitchen. I love all the entries and have the utmost respect for all the effort--and cleaning--that all the bakers put forth for this contest.
So, I spent a good part of my weekend going over the Lamington ideas submitted to Mr. P and weighing the merits of each.
I also relied heavily on my ability to lick my laptop's computer screen and taste photos of food--one of my many very special super powers.
So, after wiping the drool off my Macbook's keyboard, I settled on three ideas that appealed to me the most.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Sorry About The Eggplant
Hello!
High time I posted something, right?
I'm doing well, still very much pregnant but not much in the way of a blogger. I just haven't been up for the marathon cooking sessions that drive this little website of mine.
Actually, I haven't been much of a cook at all. This pregnancy has taken food aversions to a whole new level for me. It is funny actually, as for the better part of my last pregnancy I felt as though I could run down and slaughter a taco truck like a lion on the Serengeti.
Total carnage.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Hold the Butter
I've been a bad blogger of late. Now even my father has admonished me for my lack of posts, teasing me that all my readers were going to abandon me (including himself) unless I produced some pretty food and soon.
I explained that my lack of posting wasn't without reason. I am in good health and I've been trying to work in some kitchen time and turn out some pretty treats to post... only circumstanses haven't exactly been conducive to blogging.
Allow me to explain:
1. Let's start with the fact that my laptop currently looks something like this:
This state is due to my flinging it from my luggage at last week's conference. If there was such a thing as laptop discus throwing, I would have earned myself a gold medal. I had truly excellent distance and form.
Thankfully, my replacement is on the way.
2. I've had an unusually busy month. I have been traveling and I am leaving town once again to do volunteer work this week.
3. I'm adjusting to my new status as pregnant baking blogger. My time in the kitchen has been made complicated as the sight of softened butter now brings about waves of nausea. (Of all the possible things, why does it have to be THAT!) Not exactly a blessing for a person who often finds herself elbow deep in quanties of butter that would shock even Paula Dean.
Even thinking about butter now, as I write this, is risky. Infact, reading cookbooks is now suddenly something I do at my own peril. Where I used to find inspiration, I now find photos of evil puff pastry onion tarts that leave me heaving.
Don't look directly at the onion tart! |
4. I have been baking, it is just that the results have ALL been lousy, unfortunate looking food. Stuff that doesn't belong anywhere on the blog. Maybe it has something to do with the fatigue of early pregnancy, or the accompanying absent-mindedness that has resulted in one good sized kitchen fire and four broken dishes (that's just this week). Or perhaps, it is just hard to lovingly and carefully craft desserts that the sight of which make you want to hurl.
So that is what's going on at the Humble household, Dad (and everyone else).
Hopefully my baking luck changes tonight and I can get at least one set of blog worthy baking photos to take with me on my trip, but as I've botched no less than THREE desserts today, things are not looking very promising. So if we have yet another week of absentee Ms. Humble, I hope you'll bear with me.
I did borrow an annoyingly tiny netbook for while I am on the road, so I will at the very least be getting caught up on the backlog of emails, questions and comments.
I will be home again by Saturday and that will put an end to all my traveling for a while and I can sort out things in the kitchen and get back into my blogging groove.
Patience, I do have something fun lined up for when I get back into the kitchen.
Ms. H
Friday, September 10, 2010
Th_nk Good_ess It _s F_ida_
We're having some technical difficulties in the Humble household today.
Someone had an unsupervised moment with my laptop, and popped off about 30% of its keys. I actually NEED those keys to make today's post, so Friday's treat is going to be late. Most likely tonight or tomorrow, assuming I can round up all of tiny pieces.
I do hope none of them were eaten...
Oh boy.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Birthday Giveaway Winner & Steak!
Wrapping up the giveaway today. I opted not to cut out hundreds paper slips this time, deciding instead to use Random.org's number generator. I hope folks will forgive me and my lack of pretty photos to accompany the drawing.
However, I do have pretty photos of what I've been doing with my birthday gift, the SousVide. The results where a bit better than the EasyBake oven (which is now the property of the Little Humble). Up until this week I had never tried a SousVide steak, but I had heard many amazing things about it.
So, is the hype true?
As though I could make hungry, carnivorous men do anything I wanted... anything.
Even fold laundry.
Yes.
Who would of thought a steak cooked in a pot of 130°F water in a plastic bag could be so uncannily tender and good? Quickly sear the steak in a hot cast iron skillet with a little butter and... nom.
No doubt, this machine being offered up to home cooks strikes terror in the heart of steak house restaurants everywhere.
Granted, the machine is really expensive as far as kitchen appliances go (serious $$$). Had it not been given to me, I'm not certain that I would have bought one, as it seems like an extravagance for someone who eats meat rather infrequently (though, I'm sure it's usefulness isn't limited just to perfect steaks).
For folks who wish to try cooking SousVide style without the price tag, I'm almost certain that you could do the exact same thing with some patience, a Foodsaver, and a good digital probe thermometer. In fact I see it being done here, here and here.
Sous vide for the steak hungry masses!
(and for those who need their laundry folded for them)
Okay, let's get down to the birthday Giveaway! Sorry to keep the anxious folks waiting while I talked about steak.
So, last week I collected all of the entrant's IDs/Email addresses and added them to a rather lengthy spread sheet. With one quick click at Random.org, I selected the my Birthday Giveaway's winner...
Number 145! Come on down!
Let's see... the lucky person occupying the 145th cell on my spreadsheet was...
Jamie! Congratulations.
Hello again, and happy birthday!
The one thing I really need is a new knife set. My boyfriend and I recently moved, and as we no longer have roommates, we no longer have their fantastic knife set. My mom has offered me her old knife set, but I think that thing is older than I am, and the years have not been kind to it.
I'm currently a student (studying molecular and cellular biology! and my boyfriend is on the job search, so we don't have much money to drop on a nice set. I follow you here and on facebook. Thanks!
Jamie
Jamie, as someone who has gone through her fair share of decent quality knives (sets of J. A. Henckels, Global, Wüsthof and Shun) I'm a big fan of my Globals and the ridiculously sharp edges I can keep on them. They cut far better than some of the more expensive chef knives I've worked with. They have great balance, they're light weight so my hand doesn't tire out and with maintenance, they're sharp as a scalpel. A bit dangerous, actually. They glide through food so easily that I actually cut myself a few times when I first started working with them.
Cooking for engineer's has a great writeup on knives for folks shopping around.
Happy shopping Jamie! I'll be in contact via email soon.
To everyone else, thanks for taking the time to read my blog and enter. I really enjoy seeing folks come out of the woodwork to talk about kitchen gear and things they want to make (am I weird?). Jerry, get that Chef's Choice sharpener, I have it and it rocks. Dimi, the set of copper canelé molds is exactly what I would have spent the certificate on. They're just not the same when made in silicone (sigh).
To CSN, thanks again for letting me host a giveaway from your site.
I'll see everyone tomorrow. I have something yummy prepared.
-- Ms. H
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Easy Baking
Power tools are necessary when you cannot find a single normal screwdriver in your house
The reasons are simple: I promised Mother Humble I would blog about her oh-so-hilarious gift and I am running low on essential baking ingredients. I'm nearly over the whole spider-episode I spoke of yesterday, so hopefully I'll be out of the house and restocking the Humble Household with necessary ingredients soon.
So today we're tackling my childhood dream of Easy Bake layer cakes. Equipped with cake mix, oven, light-bulb and power-tools we're making the twice branded Easy Bake Betty Crocker Party Cake. Complete with party-inducing sprinkles in the batter.
Let's start with the prep...
What?! The parchment cake rounds for easy bake pans shouldn't surprise you. If I had tiny insulated baking strips I would use those too.
Parchment is a necessary insurance policy against light-bulb bonded cake batter and the horror of trying to frost a pile of jagged cake chunks. Parchment is what really makes baking easy.
Eight year-old's would use parchment too, they just don't know they need it yet.
Now we have the cake mix. Just add water! Two teaspoons to be exact. Does cake get any easier than that?
When is Nasbro going to make a Genoise mix for me?
So I add my water... and it looks like cake paste.
Lucky for me, the recipe provides some instructions"
"If the batter seems dry, add water one drop at a time until it is the consistency of cake batter."Oh well that's no problem. Cake batter only has one consistency, right? I just add a random amount of water to the mix, until it achieves a consistency Nasbro thinks that I would think it should look like. Crystal clear.
Now I understand the "results may vary" warning on the package.
So I add some more water, about a teaspoon, and pour my batter into my pan. Now we're ready to easy bake. So I push the pan into the oven, using my burns-are-bad safety-stick and wait the prescribed 10 minutes. Then I shove my safety-stick into the slot again and push the cake into the "cooling area".
Unfortunately the trip through the easy bake contraption resulted in the top of the cake being sheared off my the same flaps that prevent me from sticking my arm into the device.
Boo! Not only does the device curtail my compulsive desire to touch dangerous things, it mangles my cake.
Maybe they need to make the opening taller? Or maybe my cake is just too fluffy and perfect? Perhaps I am just that good. I'm a easy bake master!
Okay, so I messed up the frosting. How does one mess up a just-add-water frosting?
Apparently Ms. Humble cannot read. Something you may believe, given the rather slapdash proof-reading work I do on the blog. Still, I could have sworn the "recipe" called for 1 1/2 teaspoons per package, but apparently it is just a 1/2 teaspoon. Whoops.
So I resuscitate my over-hydrated frosting dust with some powdered sugar and whipped it into something I could slather my cakes with.
This was a tough cake to frost. So delicate I really couldn't do a proper crumb coat or frosting application. So I just gently daubed on the frosting. It suppose it looks respectable enough, given the tools I'm working with.
Speaking of tools... am I supposed to cut with this? This bizarre Lilliputian, blade-less knife? Forget about it. Someone get me my Global!
Though I'm all for the mini cake server. I need this.
So how does it taste?
This is not a great cake. Ms. Humble's inner child is a little disappointed.
Something about the cake's texture is off. It seems spongy. However the real problem is the taste and aroma. The cake has this odd, lingering flavor. Like a combination of powdered gelatin and the water leftover from poaching eggs.
Pass. Maybe the cookie mixes are better?
Or maybe I should stick to baking cakes the old fashioned way.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Philadelphia-Style Lemon Ice Cream
My weekend was great. Well, ignoring what happened to my car. Which died, suddenly and most patriotically, on the fourth of July.
Naturally this isn't a good thing. Particularly when you're the anxious OCD type like myself. Anything that throws a wrench into your normal routine threatens your sanity. My poor mother had to recruit me away from my car-less pacing and hand-wringing to help her with dinner. This is how the dessert for today's post came to be.
Mother Humble: Can you make me some lemon ice cream?
Me: *twitch* My car died! My universe is collapsing around me!
Mother Humble: *Ignores me*
Me: Okay… but an easy ice cream. No custards or curds.
Mother Humble: I'll zest the lemons…
So I made up this ice cream for Mother Humble's Prosecco apricot soup. It is very simple and requires no cooking. Just the absolute basics. Cream, Sugar, Lemon. It is light, creamy and refreshing. Not quite as dense or rich as a standard custard based ice cream, but the simplicity allows the bright flavor of fresh lemon to shine through.
Mr. Humble's bread, steaks and stuffed squash blossoms (prior to grilling/frying),
wee-potato salad, marinated shrimp olive and parsley skewers, salmon cakes,
grilled vegetables, prosecco apricot soup with lemon ice cream, sauté morels
I always go in assured of what I want, but my plan and my confidence evaporates the moment one of the staff members starts talking to me about cars.
Me: Hi, Can I see this model? I liked the standard features online and I …
Mr. Car Guy: Oh no, you need the next model up. Without the FV-75 IDO System, the brakes won't work at speeds exceeding 25mph and the steering column will occasionally burst into flames.
Me: Uh…I do like breaks. Wait, flames? Oh… I guess I need that?
Mr. Car Guy: Absolutely. You should also consider the sea mammal seating harness and restraint system.
Me: But I don't…
Mr. Car Guy: Do you want to kill a baby seal?!
Me: No! Of course not, but I don't know if I can afford…
Mr. Car Guy gives me look of horror and disgust
Me: *panic* How much is the harness?!
Mr. Car Guy: Alright. Well, it is part of our mammal safety add-on package…
Yup. That is exactly what is going to happen.
Philadelphia-Style Lemon Ice Cream
from Luscious Lemon Desserts
yields a scant one quart
2 cups heavy (whipping) cream
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup + two tablespoons fresh lemon juice (about 4 lemons)
1/4 cup finely grated lemon zest
pinch salt
Whisk all the ingredients together in a large bowl. Allow to stand for 20 minutes at room temperature, whisking every couple minutes to help dissolve the sugar. (The recipe now calls for it to be strained and you may do that. However, I love lemon zest and my microplane makes the finest, fluffiest zest so I wasn't too concerned about the affect it may have on the texture of my ice cream).
Chill this mixture for 3 hours until very cold.
Add the mixture to your ice cream maker and churn according to the manufacturer's instructions. Once finished, place into a lidded container and chill until firm.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
I need a vacation from my vacation!
Hello all! I've just arrived back from my trip to Eastern Washington. I didn't get much blogging done over there due to a forgotten camera cable and let's face it, food blogging without photos is a little dull.
While there was plenty of cooking this past week, I quickly remembered the difficulty of transcribing the off-the-cuff chaos that is Mother Humble's cooking. Still, I may take a stab at her cheese souffle...
Anyway, the reason I'm posting this is just to let folks know I'm still alive and well.
I'm aware it is rather unlike me to allow a week to pass without a post but I've been quite busy with family, travel, and non-blog related work. I've decided I'm going to take a few days to get things in order and wrap up a few projects before I start popping goodies into the oven again.
Have a happy holiday weekend (to those in the U.S.) and I'll see everyone next week!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Giveaway Closed!
Morning everyone!
I'm officially closing the giveaway. I won't be able to accept any comments posted after 11am PST today. Barring any disasters--like my daughter getting into the slips and eating them--I'll post the winner of the drawing tomorrow. I had planned on doing it today, but I am still filling out these little pieces of paper.
(Yes, Random.org would be simpler but with all the double and triple entries and the spread sheet I would have to create to list everyone, this feels easier and I can photograph a real drawing. Whereas a shot of me hitting the Random button feels kind of... hollow. Right?. Besides, my two year old has this instinctive pesky-toddler desire to come over and repeatedly palm slap my laptop's keyboard whenever I am working on important documents.)
Also, I apologize for not getting my usual Monday post up. Father's Day had me a bit busy this weekend and I ended up cooking for Monday's post on Monday (never a good blogger move). I ended up waiting for a batch of Pomegranate ice cream to firm up so I could scoop and photograph it. However, by the time I expected it to be ready, much of my light had faded so I decided to put off the shoot until today.
Of course, being my normal scatter brained self, I often return containers of ice cream into the refrigerator rather than freezer.
Which is where I found it this morning.
The refrigerator.
Yea, this batch of ice cream isn't looking so firm.
So, I'm going to make the ice cream again today, as it was absolutely delicious and blog worthy. Though, I may make a few adjustments since I have the opportunity to toy with it again.
For the pie contest folks. I still have 2/3 pies to test and taste. I'll try to whip out another one today. Hopefully I can squeeze it in between the paper slips, the ice cream, and the dentist... which is where I am heading off to now.
Hopefully my pearly whites have weathered the onslaught of Scottish Tablet and the Honeycomb Ice Cream reasonably well.
Later!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Gift Certificate Giveaway
Last week CSN contacted me, asking if I would review a product or host a giveaway of a $150 gift certificate. My kitchen is already hopelessly cluttered with tools and gadgets, so I thought I would pass the gift certificate on to one of my humble readers. A small token of my appreciation.
You should all know really do appreciate your taking the time to follow and read the silliness I post here. When I started this blog it was purely for my own amusement, nothing more. I never expected to be one of those blogs that had followers. Now I look over at that right hand column and I am all astonishment. Really.
Don't worry, I haven't let it go to my head. I really am Ms. Humble. If anything, it usually just fills me with dread that I'll disappoint you and then you'll un-follow me. (Oh no. What did I do wrong…. wahhhhh) I can't handle that kind of rejection.
Wait, this is supposed to be about my giveaway and not my personal neurosis, right. Moving on...
So a $150 gift certificate! For the winner to spend as they please. I should note that the certificate doesn't cover shipping costs but most of the stuff on CSN has or qualifies for free shipping anyway, so no worries there.
So let's make this fun. What would you buy with $150? They stock just about everything from furniture and sectional sofas to pet supplies and housewares. They actually have over 200 different stores to browse.
I guess one of the first things I'd pick out would be a new marble rolling pin for working with chilled pastry. However at $9 that really doesn't make much of a dent in this gift certificate. So much mad-money to spend…this could be fun, right?
So think about what you would like to win and leave a comment below including:
- your email address
- what sort of baking/cooking from their housewares store that you really want or need. A copper bowl, a ice cream maker, or my rolling pin? This is just for fun of course, the winner can spend the gift certificate on anything.
- If you follow my blog or start following my blog I'll enter your name twice into my drawing. If you also follow on Facebook I'll enter you three times. Just be sure to mention that when you enter (To be fair, I will be verifying that the winner was entitled to however many entries they got).
I will write an email address for each entry on a paper slip and toss it into a bowl. I will select one of the slips on Tuesday June 22nd (you can post a comment to enter up until 11AM PST on the 22nd). This drawing is open to all my readers in the US and Canada.
Edit: Looks like I will be spending an entire day cutting out little slips of paper!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Mystery Cookie
Does anyone know the name of the cookies shown above?
Mother Humble bought--and ate--nearly a dozen of the soft, chewy coconut cookies while in Morocco. From what I saw, they are sold primarily by women and children who roam the djemaa el fna with boxes, filled with rows of these coconut sandwich cookies.
The're very possibly the best coconut cookie ever and I would love to know what they're called.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Crackpot! Well, a cracked pot...
This fellow had some delicious food in clay pots and lucky for me,
was happy to demonstrate for me (and my camera).
Does anyone with ceramics-smarts read my blog?
I brought back a lot of ceramics from Morocco (if I can't bring back food, I'm bringing back things to cook with!). Unfortunately, one of the pieces I brought home cracked. It isn't terrible, a couple hairline cracks at the base of the pot but I'm concerned about the pot's functionality now (I doubt it is water tight). I want to use this pot and I'm wondering if anyone has any ideas for repairing it?
At least, I think that was its name
There may have been two restaurants in this little building, one upstairs and one down
We ate downstairs
The pot looks like the above. It is partially glazed (the inside and the top) and appears to be a heavy stoneware.
These pots are a bit of a mystery to me, so if you happen to know what they're called or how they're used, please fill me in! I'd really appreciate it.
Where am I? What Time is it?
I'm home!
I'm also completely jet lagged. Or perhaps just worn out from the last few days of near constant running around, catching trains, planes and automobiles. I want nothing more than to go nowhere and do nothing. Home is such a great place for that.
Of course, I do have this blog of mine, don't I... I should post something.
So I'm gearing up to get back into the kitchen. Well mentally, you know, since I'm still lying prostrate on my sofa in a daze. I have so many things I want to recreate from my trip. Of course, I lack any fresh ingredients and I'm not ready to crawl out of my home into the bright, confusing daylight just yet. Besides, I still have at minimum of three days worth of NSHP contest pies to post and I need to photograph the Moroccan mystery prize and talk how we're going to choose the winner. After a brief rest, I'll get back into the routine of blogging and posting those.
Til then, how about a few pretty desserts from a French riad in Morocco for the vicarious foodies? Avocat en sorbet, coulis de fruits frais, brochettes de fruits, sauce caramel au sesame, nems fourrée a la rose, mousse au chocolat noir "guanaja".
Translation: Avocado sorbet with strawberry. Fruit skewers with a sesame caramel sauce. Rose water pastry cream wrapped in a spring-roll wrapper and deep fried, then drizzled with a chocolate sauce. Finally chocolate mousse, for the little one since she would survive solely on chocolate if given the opportunity.
That's my girl.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Strawberry Rhubarb Pie & Apple Pirate Ship Pie
Blogging from Scotland today. Mr. Humble and Co. are out braving the weather and hiking up Arthur's Seat. I'm back at the B&B with the little Humble, letting her get some desperately needed rest and travel detox.
Although in Scotland for less than a day I've already eaten Haggis (delicious when you don't bother to think about what is in it), black pudding (ditto) and cullen skink (nom-riffic).
Tomorrow afternoon I'm heading back to London and then home to Seattle the day after. Depending on how all that traveling works out, there may be a little lag in posting.
I can't wait to be back home and in my own kitchen again. I need to bake something!
A little Scottish food for any foodie-tourists:
Today's pies:
Kaitlin of Whisk-Kid is one of the youngest and probably one of the better known bloggers to enter into the pie contest. Her popularity is easy to understand, she makes beautiful food, takes gorgeous photos and has a rather J.Peterman-esque flair to her food blogging.
Kaitlin sent me her strawberry rhubarb pie, inspired by her grandmother's cooking.
Strawberry Rhubarb Pie
This is more of a guide than anything. Keep in mind that it's not intended to be very sweet and that the sugar will need to be adjusted if you like your pie more sugary.
from Whisk-Kid
14 oz (400g)(total) of strawberries and rhubarb, chopped roughly into 1/4" to 1/2" pieces
1/8 c + 1 Tbls (25g) flour
1/4 c (50g) sugar
1/2 tsp salt
cream
sanding sugar
Combine the chopped fruit, flour, sugar and salt in a large bowl. Toss to combine and pour into a prepared shell. Refrigerate while you prepare lattice strips, then top with lattice and place in the fridge.
Preheat the oven to 450F (230C). When ready to bake, remove the pie from the fridge and brush the crust with cream. Sprinkle liberally with sanding sugar and cover loosely with aluminum foil. Place in the middle of the oven and place another pan, covered with aluminum foil, on the rack below to catch drips.
Bake 30 minutes, reduce the heat to 350F (175C) and bake until golden and bubbly, 40-50 minutes longer.
Cool completely on a rack before slicing.
Pie Crust
via my man, Alton Brown
I love, love, love this recipe! Make a bunch and freeze it. It'll make you happy in a few weeks when you really want some pie! Makes enough for a double-crust 9" pie.
12 tablespoons (170g) butter, chilled
4 tablespoons (55g) lard, chilled (can use shortening)
2 cups (340g) flour, plus extra for rolling dough
1 teaspoon table salt
1/2 cup (120ml) ice water, in spritz bottle (I usually use only about 3/4s of the amount and, sorry Alton, I don't have a spritz bottle. I just pour it in!)
Place butter and lard in freezer for 15 minutes. When ready to use, remove and cut both into small pieces.
In the bowl of a food processor, combine flour and salt by pulsing 3 to 4 times. Add butter and pulse 5 to 6 times until texture looks mealy. Add lard (or shortening) and pulse another 3 to 4 times. Remove lid of food processor and spritz surface of mixture thoroughly with water. Replace lid and pulse 5 times. Add more water and pulse again until mixture holds together when squeezed. Pour onto counter and press the dough together until it forms a ball. Separate into two pieces, then wrap in plastic wrap and chill for at least 30 minutes.
After 30 minutes, place one half of the dough on the counter and roll into an 11" circle. Line pie tin and place in the refrigerator. Prepare filling.
To make lattice, roll out the dough to an 11" circle and cut thin strips with a pizza wheel. Weave over the filled pie and chill while the oven preheats.
Diamonds For Dessert is a blog with such charm and whimsy that I've been smitten with it from the moment I discovered it. Susan--another biologist blogger--makes some of the cutest, craftiest food-creations on the planet and it pains me deeply not to be on her list of recipients for Christmas cookies.
Really.
Cookies.
Please, Susan.
This pie submission is a ship--a pie-rate ship. Proving that when puns and pastry combine, awesome things happen.
APPLE PIE-rate ship
adapted from cookinglight.com
from Diamonds For Dessert
2 1/2 cups flour
1/2 t salt
1/2 cup shortening
1/2 cup ice water
nonstick spray
4 apples (I used granny smith and braeburn)
6 T sugar
3/4 T flour
1/2 t cinnamon
1/4 t salt
a pinch of nutmeg
1 egg
pie weights, dried beans, or dried rice
coffee filters or parchment paper
2 aluminum mini loaf pans (5x2.5 inches)
2 pairs of disposable chopsticks
3 bamboo skewers
foil
tape and a glue gun
black and red marker
In a bowl, combine the flour and salt, and mix. Cut the shortening into small pieces and add them into the bowl. Use a pastry cutter or a fork to incorporate the shortening until there are pea sized lumps. Add the ice water one tablespoon at a time, gently mixing it in, letting it moisten the dough. Gather the dough into a ball and split it in two. Place each half on a piece of plastic wrap. Flatten each into a disc, fold over the plastic wrap, and chill in the fridge for 30 minutes.
While waiting, prepare the apples. Peel and core the apples. Thinly slice them and then chop the slices into thirds. Place the apples pieces in a mixing bowl. Add the sugar, salt, flour, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Gently mix. Cover the mixture with plastic wrap until ready to use.
Preparing the Pans
For the two mini loaf pans, grab the center of one of the smaller sides and pull it out so it makes a point. so now instead of rectangles, the pans have 3 of the original sides and a little pointy side. Take a large piece of foil and wrap it around one of the pans, using it to extend the short pointy side to make a longer point. Fold the excess foil over the other pan edges. Spray both pans with nonstick spray.
Preheat the oven to 425°F. Take one disc of dough and place it between two large pieces of plastic wrap. Roll it out to a 12x10 inch rectangle. Peel off a piece of plastic wrap and cut it so the dough rectangle is split into two pieces, one that's 9x10 inches and another that's 3x10 inches (refrigerate the 3x10 inch pieces).
Shaping the Bottom Crust
Take the 9x10 inch rectangle and place it into the prepared mini loaf pan and stretch it to fit the mold. Trim the overhanging extra dough with kitchen shears. (If desired, in the center of the longer edges, a little notch of dough can be cut off for aesthetic purposes, to make the ship more "ship-like" in appearance). Repeat all of this with the other disc of dough and the other mini loaf pan. Take a fork and poke holes all over the doughs to prevent bumps forming in the crust when baking.
Spray two coffee filters with nonstick spray and place them on the dough in the pans (or two pieces of parchment paper can be used instead); this keeps the pie weights from touching the dough and will make it easier to take them out. Fill the pans with the pie weights or dried beans or dried rice. Place the two filled pans on a baking sheet and then place the sheet in the oven for 15 minutes. When done, take the sheet out of the oven and let the crusts cool.
Shaping the Top Crust
Once cool, take the apple filling and spoon it into the two crusts, filling to about 1/4 inch from the top of the crust. Take the 3x10 inch pieces of pie dough out from the fridge and place them onto the crusts. Seal the dough by pinching around the top 1/4 inch of the crust. Trim the excess overhanging dough. Then take a fork and press it around the crust edge to make sure that it's firmly sealed. Take a knife and cut slits in the dough for vent holes. Mix the egg with 1 teaspoon of water to create an egg wash and brush the tops of the pies. Then place them in the oven on the baking sheet for 10 minutes.
After 10 minutes, lower the oven temperature to 350°F and continue baking for 35 minutes. If the pointy part of the "ship" or the edges start to brown too much, rip off small pieces of foil to cover them. Once done, take the pies out of the oven to let them cool. When completely cool, carefully remove the pies from the aluminum pans. Preheat the oven to 425°F. Cover a baking sheet with parchment paper and place the pies on the sheet. Take the rest of the egg wash and brush the pie sides with it. Cover the top of the pies and the pointy part of the "ships" with foil. Bake the pies for 15 minutes. Check and see if the sides are dry and turning golden brown. If so, take the pies out of the oven and let cool. If not, continue letting them bake until the pie sides are dry and golden brown. Then remove from the oven and let cool.
Adding the Sails
Take a bamboo skewer and poke two holes in the pie: one hole 1/3 from the one end of the pie and the other hole from the other end of the pie. Enlarge the holes with the skewer so they're big enough to fit the chopsticks.
To make the masts, split the chopstick pairs. Carefully break two chopsticks so that they are 7 inches long and the other two so that they are 6 inches long, and cut off any loose splinters. Carefully cut the skewers so you have eight 3 inch pieces. Hot glue one bamboo skewer piece 1 inch from the top of the chopstick and glue the other piece 3 inches from the top of the chopstick, both skewer pieces should be perpendicular to the chopstick.
For the sails, cut out 3x3 inch squares from the piece of white paper. Fold a little bit at the top and the bottom of each square. Cut out a little notch in the center of the parts that were just folded. Now take the four sails and attach them to the bamboo skewers by wrapping the top and bottom folded parts around the skewers and taping them down, with the chopstick fitting into the notches that were cut.
For the flags, cut out four 3/4x1/2 inch rectangles from the piece of white paper. Fold a little tab on one of the shorter sides of each rectangle (this will make it easier to tape the flags on the chopstick later). On two of them, draw skull and crossbones and color them black. Color the other two red and cut out a triangle from one of the shorter sides. Tape the flags to the tops of the chopsticks by taping the folded tabs to chopstick. Now stick the finished masts into the pies.
Makes 2 pie ships