The disco ball

Yesterday, I stood in the bathroom holding a disco ball and wept.  Never mind that I felt like a lunatic.  His beauty of light surrounded me.  Our black walls were lit with hundreds of reflected mini rainbows, and before I knew it tears were streaming down my face.  Golden hour had made its way into my bathroom and I couldn't help but feel God's presence.  What is it about beauty that brings us to our knees?  For me, it's the intimacy I feel from my Heavenly Daddy, the master artist.  It's like a warm hug.  An "I see you" moment.  And no matter how many times I experience it I never stop marveling at His goodness.  A disco ball!  

I've wanted one for years.  But until recently it wasn't a top priority until I saw my friend Honey's collection over her bed, and then I went on a little road trip with her and voila!  When I say shopping with Honey is a fight for the fittest I mean it.  We have the exact same style and spot stuff simultaneously:)  It's fun;)  

My precious friends and co-speakers - Honey Holden and Tara Dickson with a new friend Carol Howard 

Tara Royer Steele's Round Top event

Recently we road-tripped to Round Top, Texas for a women's event.  It was my first time speaking on my own and I was nervous, to say the least. It went amazingly!  But that's for another post.  Before the event started I spotted the disco ball...just as Honey bought two!  What did I tell ya;)  Anyway, who knew that little mirrored ball would bring me to tears, but it did.  The good kind.  The "I can't believe how amazing God is" kind.  

Speaking of beauty bringing me to tears... On the road trip, my daughter Maggie chauffered us.  And we got to visit Honey's momma, brother and sister-in-law, and daughter.  It was such a sweet family affair.  Her brother Marvin, in Louisiana, took us out on his fishing boat.  We're talking about the sweet bayous of Texas/Louisiana.  Cypress trees, just days away from breaking forth into bloom.  It was so incredibly amazing to see, of course, I broke out into tears then as well.  

I think tears are a way of tapping into what really matters to you.  I'm peri-menopausal, and hormones are a constant thing I'm analyzing...but these tears are different.  They're an overjoy of gratitude.  Gratitude for eyes that see Him in everything.  Just food for thought.  What makes your heart weep, but in a good way?  

You are so loved,

Becky

 

Gratefuls this week:

Easter morning! He is RISEN!

Fresh new sugar scrubs

1 cup sugar

1 cup Epsom salt

mix in cheap oil until desired consistency

essential oils of your choice - these are cocoa butter/jasmine,

rosemary mint, ginger grapefruit

Pansies will be pulled out soon and zinnia seeds will replace them!  Bring on all the cut flowers:)

The Great Reset

Hello, my sweet friends,

Gosh, I've missed you.  If you're reading this it's probably because I directed you to my long-forgotten blog.  I'm resurfacing after a month-long Instagram break.  I felt a strong NUDGE to get off social media.  Usually, I take a day or two off and this time I just knew it had to be longer, much longer. 

Remember the train derailment in Ohio a little bit ago?  That freaked me out!  I think we get a little acclimated to all of the fear-mongering and the constant bad news, but the thought of our water supply being messed up and those people's lives being completely disrupted by something out of their control.  Well, it wrecked me.  I don't lose my peace easily, so it was time to evaluate my emotions and I felt the need to back off from screen time.  I don't watch the news, so the accounts on social media were influencing my emotions and in complete honesty, I was getting out of the presence of God's perfect peace.  Because when we stay in tune with Him all the crazy has a way of getting less scary. 

The day after I uninstalled Instagram, I was taking my walk on our hill, and I felt the Lord say, "Finally!"  It was like He was just waiting for me to put my phone down and get my eyes back on Him, so He could speak to me.  And speak to me He did, and not just on that walk, but revelation after revelation all.month.long!  When I say it was good I MEAN IT!  I'm changed.

The first "epiphany" I had was that I wasn't going back to the way I'd been doing Instagram.  Aside from this week, I'm keeping it off my phone. This week is hard, because I'm traveling to Mississippi and Texas for the "Love is a Battlefield" event in Round Top, TEXAS!!! There are tickets STILL AVAILABLE!! Please come hear my talk about breaking free from friendship hurts!  It's a word from the Lord 100%!!  I don't speak in front of people because it terrifies me, but I'm filled with so much peace!  That HAS to be Him.  I finally get to share my story and I just know it's going to set people FREE!  

So Instagram... it's staying uninstalled.  Did you know you can use it from your laptop?!!  I have to figure out how to do stories, but that's a price I'm willing to pay.  I'm going back to blogging.  And the freedom I feel with that decision is enough to make me weepy.  Blogging is where it all began.  Looking for joy in the small things...  Seeing God everywhere, and in all the things around me, and sharing it with you was for me the highest high, and it saved me from a deep hole of depression.  I got lost along the way.  Instagram was easy and accessible, but it became a huge distraction and I'm ready to get back on track.

The second "Epiphany" was about my health.  This is a long story and I'll make sure to share it soon, but basically, I've been bouncing around doctors' offices all month long and I'm so full of hope.  Not from the doctors, but from doing my own research and finally laying down some bad habits and picking up eye-opening insight that is breaking chains.  There's a lot to tell you and I'm still on this information-gathering journey, but I promise to keep you in the loop.  

The third epiphany is that I love painting!  I knew I did, but due to the constant distractions, I didn't make time to do it.  With my head clear and no self-imposed deadlines, I created seven new paintings this month! Seven!!   I have 5 more to go for my Maine Series, which I plan on turning into this year's calendar.  I've been marveling at my Creator once again.  He's helping me paint people! That's not my specialty and I'm doing it!  

So that's where I'm at friends.  This blog is getting dusted off and I'm hoping to post new epiphanies once a week!  There are other things on my heart I'm praying about too, but I think this is a first step.  I pray you follow along.  Good things are coming:) 

 

You are so loved! 

Becky 

 

                                                                            

 

Full and Overflowing dinner/art night

I've always had an inner nudge to gather women.  I think it's a response to my own struggle with occasional loneliness.  We live pretty isolated.  And I'm a creative that works alone most of the time.  I think the biggest hindrance to my productivity is working up the mojo to start. For years I've dreamt of having a circle of friends paint with me.  Like-minded women who find themselves yearning for community.  A place to reflect, dream, be inspired, and create something out of nothing.  That's my heart.  To me, painting, cuffing, writing, etc...is an act of worship.  A bond with my Creator that touches my soul deeply.  

When we bought this property I knew it wasn't really mine.  It was a place to be shared.  I've had a secret prayer request for all those years... Lord bring me the people to help me do this thing You've laid on my heart.  I can't do it on my own.  Slowly one by one He brought them...Tracy, Meg, Julie, Maria, Rebecca, my sweet family.  I can't really thank them enough.  It takes a team! It's taken a very long time to get here...6 years to be exact.  But we're moving into the season of embracing the uncomfortable;)  The gate has been opened, the table set, and the art supplies laid out!!  

In April we had our very first dinner/art night.  I knew it was to be called "Full and Overflowing." We feasted!  We worshiped.  We painted.  I don't really even have the words to describe what took place because for me it was an act of obedience and the very first step into a calling that quite honestly terrifies me.  Hosting doesn't come naturally.  Peopling is absolutely exhausting...and yet I know it's the next right thing. Love on people. See them. Share beauty. Make beauty!  AH!!!  God is so good!

Our next dinner's theme is "Night of Splendor," and will be held Friday, July 29.  There's a waitlist.  If you want to add your name, sign up at farmgirlpaints.com.  The waitlist closes on 6/15 when I'll hide the shop and send an email with a password to those who are on the list.  After the shop is open to the waitlist any remaining seats will be announced on Instagram on Friday 6/18.  Hope to see you there!!  

Here are the recipes from Tracy Steigler!  

*I always use organic ingredients wherever possible but I have found most of these ingredients come organically!

Salad Dressing:

1 Shallot, minced

2T dijon mustard

1 lemon, juiced

1C extra virgin olive oil

1t salt

1/2t pepper

Mix until emulsified.  Ok to serve immediately but better the longer that it sits.  

Is best with every salad - also good as a marinade for chicken!

(Dressed a bed of arugula topped with roasted beets, slivers of tangerines, quartered burrata, and pistachios)

Rustic Mashed Potatoes:

3lb Yukon gold

8oz cream cheese

1c heavy whipping cream

1/2c sour cream

1 1/2t salt

1/2t pepper

1t onion powder

1t garlic powder

Wash & add potatoes to a pot of highly salted water. Bring to a boil, and simmer(about 15-20min).  While the potatoes are cooking, in a separate pan, combine the rest of the ingredients on medium-low until simmering and combined.  Simmer 5min, turn off the heat, and keep on the burner.  Drain potatoes and add back to hot pot.  Add cream mixture to the pot and mash with a hand masher until incorporated and desired consistency. 

 **I like it rustic with the peels on

and big chunks of potatoes.

Roasted Chicken: 

(recipe for 1, so it is easily multiplied for your desired amount)

Bone-in, skin-on chicken breast

Shallot, rough chop

Garlic clove smashed but left whole

1/4 lemon, thinly sliced

1t salt, 1/2t pepper

Extra Virgin Olive Oil

4-24hrs before cooking, place chicken in a ziplock bag with shallot, garlic, and lemon.  Top with seasoning and olive oil.  Remove air from the bag and place it in the fridge until 20min before ready to cook.  

Preheat the oven to 400*.  On a cookie sheet place the chicken breasts so they’re breast side up and the thickest part is facing the edge of the pan.  Place the shallots, garlic, and lemon around the chicken and top with whatever juices and oil are in the ziplock.  Bake 45minutes, until juices run clear.  Let rest for 10minutes.  Serve.

**I like to add veggies to the bottom of the chicken sometimes, I’ve used carrots, onions, parsnips, and potatoes - makes an easy sheet-pan meal.  Make sure to season and oil the veg before topping with the raw chicken.

Amuse Bouche: (can be served before the meal, on a charcuterie tray, or after dinner with a cheese course)

Almond Butter Crackers (Trader Joes)

Point Reyes Blue Cheese or Roquefort

Dried Mission Figs

Highest quality honey 

The crackers are very delicate….so gently place them on a tray.  Top with a thin slice of blue cheese, fig, and a drizzle of honey.  Enjoy!

You are so loved!

Our C*vid Story

My story:

I used to feel so proud... We had made it to the two-year mark without getting the dreaded C, and now here I am feeling compelled more than ever to write about this touchy topic.  It feels like a war story.  I’m only putting it out there, so maybe someone else’s life will be saved. Having to research and advocate is just a whole extra layer of stress that you don't want to encounter when you're sick.  I pray this helps someone. *DISCLAIMER... I’m not a medical professional and this is all testimony and personal experience.

On December 17th, I got sick.  My symptoms began as a two-day migraine, that morphed into body aches, and then four days of an unrelenting sore throat.  The sore throat made me go to the doctor because I thought I had strep and we were leaving soon for a vacation to Arizona.  Antibiotics might be needed. Of course, they wanted to test me for C*vid.  I really didn’t think I had it, it was cold and flu symptoms.  I could still taste and smell etc… this was 6 days in…I lost them later.  I tested negative for strep and flu, and positive for C*vid.

My girls and husband (never tested) apparently had a mild case of it and gave it to me.  On the seventh day, I arranged to have a concierge doctor come to the house and administer an IV vitamin infusion.  Which was WONDERFUL.  Up until that point, I was just taking over-the-counter Dayquil and Ibuprofen.  The vitamin boost made my energy perk up and I thought for a fleeting second, I was completely over it.  The next day it came back…the body aches, low energy, etc.  We were scheduled to fly to AZ on Christmas morning.  I just knew once I got into that desert air everything would be fine.  I was past the contagious point, so it was just a matter of getting there.

Instead, what happened is the night before we were to leave, I got a fever and woke up vomiting.  In spite of how I felt I rallied and made it to the car.  I threw up once more on the way and STILL pushed on… determined to make our vacation work:/  Once we got to the airport, I absolutely couldn’t move from the car.  And from there it spiraled fast, by the time we got to the end of our driveway I had completely blacked out, I was choking on my vomit and I had lost all bodily functions if you know what I mean.  I came to, half out of the car with my girls sobbing, Brian hysterical. They finally got me back in the car and got us up to the house.  

I spent the rest of the day in bed sick in every way with Brian cleaning up after me.  Too weak to make it to the bathroom.  Uncontrollable chills.  The whole bit.  I later found out this crazy weird dramatic episode is called a “cyto storm”.  Your body’s inflammation response goes on hyperdrive and more or less attacks itself.  Early on many died because their organs shut down!  I had no idea! That one day took me another week of complete weakness to recover from.  **Also, this is a good place to point out that, over the counter, Zyrtec and Pepcid are used to prevent this from happening.  So, if you suspect you have C…start that regime immediately.

During that last week of sickness, I finally reached out to a pharmacy and asked them if they had the Ivermectin everyone was talking about.  They did, but wouldn’t give it without a doctor’s prescription.  I promptly called my urgent care where I was tested and they said they wouldn’t give it.  So, I called the pharmacy again and they told me someone who would.  I arranged a video call with that doctor the next day and got my C*vid protocol going once and for all.  On day 18 my strength slowly returned.  And two days later we were in a car heading to Illinois because my momma was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia.

My Momma Dixie's story:

I know that I know that my strength returned just in time to advocate for my momma.  I got a phone call from her doctor saying her oxygen levels were down to 78.  She was sure she had pneumonia and thought (because she was coughing up blood) she might have a blood clot. I lost it on the phone, basically begging the doctor not to send her to the hospital.  We had heard one story after the next of friends and family being admitted and never coming out alive.  All the warning signs were going off.  The doctor assured me if it was her mom she’d do the same, and so after praying over my momma they escorted her by ambulance to the ER.  The only reason I conceded was the possible blood clot.

I was still super weak from my own sickness, but this urgency to get to her wouldn’t let up.  We packed our bags and within an hour we were on our way to Illinois. Her tests results came back that she had pneumonia, but no blood clot.  In my mind, I was like okay then let’s get her on some meds, oxygen and get her home!  After watching this video about a woman who lost her dad in the hospital, and then her using this protocol to save her father-in-law, I was educated enough to know she had to say no IMMEDIATELY to the ventilator and to the Remdesiver drug.  Remdesiver is known to cause renal failure and a VERY HIGH % of people who go on ventilators DIE!  While the hospitals get $39,000 for each person they get on one of those machines.  Here's a video about that!  WHY?  While we were driving mom calls me barely able to get the words out, and says “that drug you told me to say off of… it starts with an R??  They’re trying to talk me into it right now!”  And as soon as she said no to it, they were trying to get her on another high-risk drug.

All the while they never gave her any of the C*vid protocol that has been proven to work.  They didn’t give her any vitamins, or get her up moving.  They wouldn’t let her use a nebulizer with the Budesonide that has been PROVEN to heal the lungs of patients with pneumonia.  Why?  “Because it spreads the germs in the mist.”  Lies!

The worst part of all is that absolutely no one is allowed on the C*vid floor.  So, they are completely isolated and often times too weak or not educated enough to advocate for themselves. I tried to talk to the nurse and she refused.  

I would call mom in the morning and she was so distraught.  No one had checked on her during the night.  Her call button wasn’t working and her cord was too short to make it to the bathroom.  Drenched in sweat, blood pressure soaring, oxygen levels low…the on-call nurse finally made it into her room the next morning and in a panic to get her levels up jacked up her oxygen from 7ML to 15ML.  Did you know too much oxygen is just as bad as not enough?!! We knew we had to get her out, but her primary care doctor said her oxygen needs were way too high to have her at home. Another misinformation... Here's where you can arrange to get more oxygen.

The night before her discharge I had posted something about going to war and getting her home and a precious soul reached out to me on Instagram and said her husband could help me.  I immediately called him and he put me on a conference call with a Frontline doctor.  I was taking notes as fast as I could.  He told me, precisely, all the excuses they were saying when we mentioned the nebulizer and oxygen at home.  Then he directed me to this website that tells you exactly what to say back when they tell you no. He mentioned review boards and filing a complaint etc… He told me that the hospitals basically don’t care if they die.  And to be honest I believed him.  The stats are horrific.  The “care” isn’t caring.

The next morning we were prepared for battle.  Feeling completely unqualified to advocate for something we didn’t understand, I had mom call me when the doctor came into the room.  Only this time, it was a new doctor, and he started the call by saying “I’m hoping to discharge your mom today!”  I was like WHAT!!!  The questions, rebuttals, and rebukes were all on the tip of my tongue and I didn’t have to say a word!  You know in the Bible when it says the Lord goes before us?  I never in my life felt that more than in that precise moment.  We were ready to fight and He was like…no, I’ve got this.  Let me show you My Glory!  Let me show you what only I can do!!!

We were witnessing a MIRACLE!  Apparently, the Doctor had come into my mom’s room…took one look at her treatment board, and said angrily... “why do they have your oxygen so high?”  Then he took it off her nose and had her sit there and talk to him.  Watching her levels… it stayed consistent.  He said as long as she could pass her walking test (without oxygen) she would be discharged!! I came and busted her out that DAY!

For the next two days every time she closed her eyes, she started having a conversation.  Not mumbled talking in her sleep, but a conversation with sentences.  It was SO weird.  Apparently, that can be a side effect of too much oxygen. We had a couple of days of wobbly walking, low pulse dips, and disorientation at times. But within a few days of being home, she started waking up.  Her body started responding to our own protocol…  Lots of vitamins, tons of water, a cool-mist vaporizer, healthy meals, Budesonide (I brought mine from home when I was sick) nebulizer treatments, Dexamethasone steroids for her lungs, antibiotics (doxycycline and cephalexin for her blood infection), and lots of walks!!  Whether she wanted to get up or not, we got her moving.  I also had her lean forward, like she was picking something up off the floor, and I cupped (gently patted) her back.  This would make her cough stuff up!  

If you need an online consultation for meds this website will give you a consult for $73.  You put in your weight for the correct dosage.  It gets shipped right to your door.

My mom is 79 – overweight, diabetic, has high blood pressure and asthma!  Oh, and the day after she was released from the hospital they called and diagnosed her with sepsis!  A blood bacterial infection…And SHE LIVED!  Despite the scary nature of this illness, if you know what to do… And I believe preparing ahead of time with “what not to do” knowledge, front line doctors, prescriptions that work, known protocols, and LOWER YOUR INFLAMMATION through diet and exercise! The recovery rates are HIGH! It can be scary and some people don't make it, but MOST DO!  

This illness, from the pit of hell, is pure evil.  There’s no doubt about it, but God!  Read Psalms 91 out loud.  Command your angels charge over you.  Plead the blood of JESUS!!!  Get your prayer warriors fighting.  Stand on His promises.  Speak life over yourself and your loved ones.  Don't utter a word that is negative to HEALTH. It’s not easy when you are feeling discouraged.  And believe me, this illness is very mental…the enemy loves to whisper fear… people die from this.  You might never be the same.  You should have gotten the jab etc… But we have the ability to choose our thoughts and take them captive, and that means resisting the temptation to listen to the lies!  I have so much more empathy now after walking through it!  

Anyway, that’s my story (we all have different ones)…  I hope it helps you, whoever you are. I did turn off comments to avoid too much noise.  Feel free to message me if you have any more questions... [email protected].

Here's my post on the v*x if you want to know where we stand there:)

 Just know you are so so LOVED!!

The protocol my doctor sent me: