The Twilight Saga’s Renesmee Cullen Is Old Enough to Vote
ByBethy Squires,
a Vulture news blogger who covers comedy
Photo: Summit Entertainment
Never forget: Renesmee Cullen was born on 9/11. A reasonable person might say to themself, “Hey, why did Stephenie Meyer make her vampire baby’s B-day 9/11? What’s going on there?” I’m so glad you asked. See, Twilight was inspired by My Chemical Romance. Is it self-insert fic where Meyer is Bella and Gerard Way is Edward? Who’s to say. But it sure did sting when My Chem refused to be on any of the movie soundtracks. My Chemical Romance was, in turn, inspired by September 11. Gerard Way saw the towers fall from a ferry, and processing that trauma led to writing “Skylines and Turnstiles,” which led to the band forming, which led to Twilight,which led to 50 Shades of Grey,which led to Dakota Johnson causing the downfall of Ellen.
So to honor the fallen, Renesmee’s birthday is 9/11. 9/11/06 to be specific, which means she turns 18 today and will be eligible to vote in the 2024 election. Congrats, girl! Do your civic duty. Taylor Swift says so. But the idea of vampire suffrage raises all sorts of questions for me. Namely …
Has Renesmee been voting for years?
In canon, li’l bb Cullen started looking 18 when she was 5. And she’d had an adult’s consciousness in the womb. And her future bf imprinted on her at birth. It’s all very gross, but it does raise questions about Renesmee Cullen doing voter fraud. We know the Cullens have a document forger (played by Wendell “sheeeeeiit” Pierce in Breaking Dawn — Part 2), so Rambutan could have voted in 2016 for all we know.
Do the Cullens vote at all?
The Cullens do a lot of everyday American bullshit they don’t have to. Attend high school, go to prom, get really into cars. It seems probable at least some of the Cullens vote.
What issues do they care about?
Here’s my best guess on when and how each member of the Cullen clan votes.
Carlisle Cullen: Votes in every election and primaries. Often gets asked to endorse candidates in Forks. Did endorse Charlie Swan for sheriff. Used to be a Republican due to his deeply held Christian beliefs but now votes blue because he wants Medicare for All. Esme Cullen: Votes in the presidential elections, however Carlisle tells her to vote. Edward Cullen: Does not think he deserves to vote because he should be a convicted felon for all those dudes he killed in his serial-killer era. Rosalie Hale: Votes Republican, anti-abortion. Emmett Cullen: Forgets every year. Alice Cullen: Doesn’t bother voting because she can see the future and it feels pointless. She does, however, bet on every election in Vegas. Jasper Hale: Votes for whoever says the Confederate flag represents heritage, not hate. Bella Swan: Does not vote, too focused on vampire shit like breaking rocks with her bare hands and tearing apart mountain lions.
Speaking of mountain lions, I think Carlisle makes the whole fam vote any time there’s a ballot initiative about conservation or hunting. If the deer population goes down, the Cullens lose their “vegetarian” diet. But they’re undoubtedly split on abortion access. Rosalie is famously against a woman’s right to choose, while Edward and Alice are very “abortions for all!” Bella chose to bring a pregnancy to term that killed her, so that’s kind of impossible to chart. Finally, as literal billionaires, the Cullens also probably care a lot about the capital-gains tax.
By submitting your email, you agree to our
Terms and Privacy Notice
and to receive email correspondence from us. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google
Privacy Policy and
Terms of Service apply.
or
Already a subscriber?
What is your email?
This email will be used to sign into all New York sites. By submitting your email, you agree to our Terms and Privacy Policy and to receive email correspondence from us.
Password must be at least 8 characters and contain:
Lower case letters (a-z)
Upper case letters (A-Z)
Numbers (0-9)
Special Characters (!@#$%^&*)
This password will be used to sign into all New York sites. By submitting your email, you agree to our Terms and Privacy Policy and to receive email correspondence from us.
You’re in!
As part of your account, you’ll receive occasional updates and offers from New York, which you can opt out of anytime.
or
Already a subscriber?
What is your email?
This email will be used to sign into all New York sites. By submitting your email, you agree to our Terms and Privacy Policy and to receive email correspondence from us.
Password must be at least 8 characters and contain:
Lower case letters (a-z)
Upper case letters (A-Z)
Numbers (0-9)
Special Characters (!@#$%^&*)
This password will be used to sign into all New York sites. By submitting your email, you agree to our Terms and Privacy Policy and to receive email correspondence from us.
You’re in!
As part of your account, you’ll receive occasional updates and offers from New York, which you can opt out of anytime.
Already a subscriber?
Already a subscriber?
`;
// integrate Sub(x) scripts and elements
if (hostname !== 'subs.nymag.com') { // do not integrate on this subdomain
document.head.appendChild(trackingScript);
document.body.insertAdjacentHTML('beforeend', subXAnimationElements);
}
There was an error processing the request. Please try again later."}).catch(e=>console.error("Error verifying email: ",e)))(r.querySelector(".content"),o.bannerCTAVerification)})):(l.remove(),s.remove()),o.dismissable||n.remove(),o.useAlertIcon||a.remove(),r.classList.add("show"),n.addEventListener("click",()=>{u(),r.classList.remove("show")})}else r.remove()}});
}, {"1":1,"6":6,"12":12,"35":35,"40":40}];
window.modules["global-nav.client"] = [function(require,module,exports){"use strict";const dom=require(3),auth=require(12),signInButton=dom.find(".user-signin"),signOutButton=dom.find(".user-signout"),globalNav=dom.find('[class^="global-nav"]'),body=dom.find("body"),dropdownItems=dom.findAll(".dropdown-wrap"),gtm=require(1),appendLandingPageParams=require(136),pageUri=require(124).getPageUri(),subscriptionPromoLinks=dom.findAll(".persist-params"),searchString=window.location.search||"";function closeDropdowns(e){let n=globalNav.querySelectorAll(".dropdown.open");dropdownItems.forEach(function(t){let o=t.querySelector(".dropdown");!n||t.contains(e.target)&&27!==e.keyCode||o.classList.remove("open")})}function gtmSendReport(e,n,t){let o={eventCategory:"ecommerce",eventAction:"componentClick",brand:e,dimension23:"global-nav",list:pageUri,pageZone:"header",variant:"nav-link"};"global-nav-link"===t&&(o.eventLabel=n.href),gtm.reportNow(o)}function updateElementTargetUrlsIfQueryStrings(e){if(searchString){const n=new URLSearchParams(searchString);let t=e.href;if(t.includes("?")){const o=t.split("?"),i=new URLSearchParams(o[1]);for(let e of n.entries())i.set(e[0],e[1]);t=`${o[0]}?${i.toString()}`,e.href=t}else e.href=`${t}?${n.toString()}`}}function init(e){const n=e.querySelectorAll(".to-landing-page");window.addEventListener("auth:init",()=>{signInButton.addEventListener("click",function(e){e.preventDefault(),auth.showEmbeddedLoginFlow("top navigation")}),signOutButton.addEventListener("click",function(e){e.preventDefault(),gtmSendReport("Sign Out",e.target,"user-info-link"),auth.logout()}),auth.isAuthenticated()&&e.classList.add("signed-in"),auth.isSubscriber()&&e.classList.add("subscribed"),e.querySelectorAll(".user-link").forEach(e=>{e.classList.add("active")}),subscriptionPromoLinks.forEach(e=>{updateElementTargetUrlsIfQueryStrings(e)}),appendLandingPageParams(n)})}dropdownItems.forEach(function(e){e.addEventListener("click",function(){e.querySelector(".dropdown").classList.toggle("open")})}),body.addEventListener("click",closeDropdowns),document.addEventListener("keydown",closeDropdowns),globalNav.addEventListener("click",function(e){let n=e.target;n.classList.contains("global-nav-track")&>mSendReport(n.text,n,"global-nav-link")}),module.exports=init;
}, {"1":1,"3":3,"12":12,"124":124,"136":136}];
window.modules["aaa-module-mounting.legacy"] = [function(require,module,exports){"use strict";const _pickBy=require(221),_each=require(408),Fingerprint2=require(407),DS=require(406),Eventify=require(246);function registerGlobals(){window.DS=DS,window.Eventify=Eventify,window.Fingerprint2=Fingerprint2,DS.value("Eventify",Eventify),DS.value("Fingerprint2",Fingerprint2),DS.value("$document",window.document),DS.value("$window",window)}function mountDollarSliceComponents(){DS.service("components",["$document","$module",function(e,n){var o=_pickBy(n.definitions,e=>e.providerStrategy===n.providers.controller),r=Object.keys(o);function t(e){return o=>{try{n.get(e,o)}catch(e){logMountError(o,e)}}}_each(r,n=>{var o=e.querySelectorAll('[data-uri*="/_components/'+n+'/"]'),r=e.querySelectorAll('[data-uri$="/_components/'+n+'"]');_each(o,t(n)),_each(r,t(n))}),this.components=r}]),DS.get("components")}function logMountError(e,n){const o=e.outerHTML.slice(0,e.outerHTML.indexOf(e.innerHTML));console.error("Error attaching controller to "+o,n)}registerGlobals(),"loading"===document.readyState?document.addEventListener("DOMContentLoaded",()=>{mountDollarSliceComponents()}):mountDollarSliceComponents();
}, {"221":221,"246":246,"406":406,"407":407,"408":408}];
window.modules["ads.legacy"] = [function(require,module,exports){"use strict";const _map=require(118),_forEach=require(107),_isString=require(268),_intersectionWith=require(409),_isEqual=require(274),_each=require(408),_debounce=require(182),_sortBy=require(205),page=require(124),visit=require(114);DS.service("adService",["Eventify","$cid","$document","$window",function(e,t,a,i){var o,n,s,r,d,c,u,l,g={},p=this,h=[],f=visit.getQueryParamsObject(["utm_campaign"]),m=document.querySelector('script[data-type="ad-a9"]'),b=[],w=!1,v=[],y=document.querySelector('script[data-name="ad-doubleverify"]');document.querySelector('script[data-name="concert-ads"]')||(i.NYM={},i.NYM.analytics={},i.NYM.analytics.adStartTime=i.performance.now(),i.googletag=i.googletag||{},i.googletag.cmd=i.googletag.cmd||[],u=i.googletag,(m||y)&&(i.googletag.cmd=i.googletag.cmd||[],i.googletag.cmd.push(function(){i.googletag.pubads().disableInitialLoad()})),m&&(l=i.setInterval(function(){void 0!==window.apstag&&void 0!==window.apstag.timeout&&(i.clearInterval(l),window.apstag.cleared=!0,l=null)},10),setTimeout(function(){l&&(i.clearInterval(l),i.googletag.pubads().refresh(),window.apstag||console.log("MESSAGE: Timeout for A9 load exceeded, aborting"))},500)),y&&(b.push(new Promise(function(e){w?e():v.push(e)})),c=i.setTimeout(T,2500)),o=function(e){var t,a,o=e.data,n=[];return o.loaded?e:(o.loaded=!0,t=null,(t=o.sizes?u.defineSlot(o.name,o.sizes,o.id).addService(u.pubads()):u.defineOutOfPageSlot(o.name,o.id).addService(u.pubads())).setTargeting("adid",o.id),f.hasOwnProperty("utm_campaign")&&t.setTargeting("utmcamp",f.utm_campaign),a=p.getAdCount(o.label),t.setTargeting("label",o.label+"_"+o.site+"-"+a),u.display(o.id),u.pubads().addEventListener("slotOnload",function(){i.NYM.analytics.firstAdLoadTime||(i.NYM.analytics.firstAdLoadTime=i.performance.now(),i.NYM.analytics.firstAdLoadLabel=e.data.label)}),n=_(o),Promise.all(b).then(function(){n?window.apstag&&window.apstag.cleared?window.apstag.fetchBids({slots:[n],timeout:window.apstag.timeout},function(){u.cmd.push(function(){window.apstag.setDisplayBids(),u.pubads().refresh([t],{changeCorrelator:!1})})}):y&&u.pubads().refresh([t],{changeCorrelator:!1}):u.pubads().refresh([t],{changeCorrelator:!1})}),e.slot=t,e)},n=function(e){var a,i,o,n=t(),s=e.getAttribute("data-name"),r=e.getAttribute("data-sizes"),d=e.getAttribute("data-label"),c=e.getAttribute("data-site");n=e.id,r&&r.length?(r=r.split(","),a=[],_map(r,function(e){e=e.split("x"),i=parseInt(e[0]),o=parseInt(e[1]),a.push([i,o])})):(e.classList.add("oop"),a=!1),this.data={id:n,name:s,sizes:a,loaded:!1,label:d,site:c},g[n]=this},r=function(e){u.cmd.push(function(){var t=o(e);g[e.data.id]=t})},s=function(e){var t=[];e.slot?(t=_(e))&&window.apstag&&window.apstag.cleared&&window.apstag.fetchBids({slots:[t],timeout:window.apstag.timeout},function(){u.cmd.push(function(){window.apstag.setDisplayBids(),u.pubads().refresh([e.slot],{changeCorrelator:!1})})}):e&&r(e)},u.cmd.push(function(){var e,t,o,n=page.getMeta("article:tag"),s=page.getMeta("author"),r=i.location.href,d=(e=a.head.querySelector(".head-gtm"),t=a.body.querySelector(".gtm"),e&&"top"===e.getAttribute("data-gtm")?"gtmtop":t&&"bottom"===t.getAttribute("data-gtm")?"gtmbottom":"");o=[],_forEach([n,s,d],function(e){_forEach(e.split(","),function(e){(e=e.trim().toLowerCase().replace(/\s/g,"-").replace(/\'|\’/g,"")).length&&o.push(e)})}),u.pubads().setTargeting("kw",o),u.pubads().setTargeting("entry_group",o),r=r.slice(r.lastIndexOf("/")+1),u.pubads().setTargeting("pn",r),u.companionAds().setRefreshUnfilledSlots(!0),u.pubads().enableAsyncRendering(),u.enableServices()}),this.load=r,this.create=function(e){return new n(e)},this.refresh=function(e){var t;_isString(e)?(t=this.getById(e),s(t)):s(e)},this.remove=function(e){var t=e.data.id;a.getElementById(t).innerHTML=""},this.getAdCount=function(e){var t,a=0,i=Object.keys(g);return _each(i,function(i){(t=g[i]).data.loaded&&t.data.label===e&&a++}),a},this.getById=function(e){return g[e]},d=_debounce(function(){var e={TopLeaderboard:1,RightColTopMPU:2,outOfPage:99,"homepageTakeover/TopLeaderboard":1},t=_sortBy(h,function(t){return e[t.data.label]||10});_forEach(t,function(e){return e.data.sizes?r(e):i.setTimeout(function(){r(e)},2e3)}),y&&window.PQ.cmd.push(()=>{try{window.PQ.loadSignals(["ids","bsc","vlp"],T)}catch(e){T(),console.error(`There has been an error loading Double Verify signals: ${e}`)}}),h=[]},10),this.addToPageLoadQueue=function(e){h.push(e),d()});function _(e){var t,a=e.sizes;return a=_intersectionWith(a,[[970,250],[970,90],[728,90],[300,600],[300,250],[320,100],[320,50]],_isEqual),e.sizes&&e.sizes.length&&(t={slotID:e.id,sizes:a,slotName:e.label}),t}function T(){i.clearTimeout(c),w=!0,_forEach(v,function(e){e()})}}]);
}, {"107":107,"114":114,"118":118,"124":124,"182":182,"205":205,"268":268,"274":274,"408":408,"409":409}];
window.modules["cid.legacy"] = [function(require,module,exports){"use strict";DS.service("$cid",function(){var r=Math.floor(100*Math.random());return function(){return"cid-"+ ++r}});
}, {}];
window.modules["client.legacy"] = [function(require,module,exports){"use strict";require("cid.legacy"),require("ads.legacy"),require("facebook.legacy"),require("aaa-module-mounting.legacy");
}, {"cid.legacy":"cid.legacy","aaa-module-mounting.legacy":"aaa-module-mounting.legacy","ads.legacy":"ads.legacy","facebook.legacy":"facebook.legacy"}];
window.modules["facebook.legacy"] = [function(require,module,exports){"use strict";DS.service("facebook",[function(){this.fb=function(i){window.FB&&window.FB[i].apply(this,Array.prototype.slice.call(arguments,1))}}]);
}, {}];
require=(function e(t,n,r){function s(o,u){if(!n[o]){if(!t[o]){var a=typeof require=="function"&&require;if(!u&&a)return a(o,!0);if(i)return i(o,!0);var f=new Error("Cannot find module '"+o+"'");throw f.code="MODULE_NOT_FOUND",f}var l=n[o]={exports:{}};t[o][0].call(l.exports,function(e){var n=t[o][1][e];return s(n?n:e)},l,l.exports,e,t,n,r)}return n[o].exports}var i=typeof require=="function"&&require;for(var o=0;o typeof key === 'string' && key.match(/\.legacy$/)).forEach(key => window.require(key));
}
function tryToMount(fn, el, name) {
try {
fn(el); // init the controller
} catch (e) {
const elementTag = el.outerHTML.slice(0, el.outerHTML.indexOf(el.innerHTML));
console.error(`Error initializing controller for "${name}" on "${elementTag}"`, e);
}
}
/**
* mount client.js component controllers
*/
function mountComponentModules() {
Object.keys(window.modules).filter(key => typeof key === 'string' && key.match(/\.client$/)).forEach(key => {
let controllerFn = window.require(key);
if (typeof controllerFn === 'function') {
const name = key.replace('.client', ''),
instancesSelector = `[data-uri*="_components/${name}/"]`,
defaultSelector = `[data-uri$="_components${name}"]`,
instances = document.querySelectorAll(instancesSelector),
defaults = document.querySelectorAll(defaultSelector);
for (let el of instances) {
tryToMount(controllerFn, el, name);
}
for (let el of defaults) {
tryToMount(controllerFn, el, name);
}
}
});
}
// Make sure that a `window.process.env.NODE_ENV` is available in the client for any dependencies,
// services, or components that could require it
// note: the `` value is swapped for the actual environment variable in /lib/cmd/compile/scripts.js
window.process = window.process || {};
window.process.env = window.process.env || {};
if (!window.process.env.NODE_ENV) {
window.process.env.NODE_ENV = '';
}
// note: legacy controllers that require legacy services (e.g. dollar-slice) must
// wait for DOMContentLoaded to initialize themselves, as the files themselves must be mounted first
mountLegacyServices();
mountComponentModules();
// ]]