Palm Royale Recap: Blubbering Fools

The tone of this show has, at times, been a struggle to grasp, and I think that’s in part because of our preconceived notion that a “limited series” with a mysterious undercurrent and an all-star cast of actresses must be serious prestige television. And while there have been dramatic moments like that, there have also been broad comedic swings, silly voices, and soapy revelations. Now, with this episode, I feel like I’ve finally solved this ongoing game of tug-of-war between genres. This show is neither a comedy nor a drama. It is a secret third genre: wackadoodle.

For example, this week, Maxine goes up against a beached whale that runs the risk of ruining her big gala. Need I say more? I will, because this is an episode recap, but in theory, that’s enough to prove my point — wackadoodle. And that’s okay! It turns out the CGI alligator that Maxine previously had a run in with on the golf course was just our amuse-bouche, there to lay the groundwork and condition us for bigger things to come. And it worked because, by the time this CGI whale washed up in Maxine’s backyard, I was like, Sure, this feels about right at this point. Being wackadoodle is not a crime, so I’ll happily go along for this ride and see how Maxine weasels herself out of yet another zany, sitcom-esque plot.

When she calls animal control (after trying the police, who were unhelpful), they tell her that it might be able to return to the sea if kept wet, but it’s more likely that it will die, then slowly rot away or even explode due to built up gas. That prognosis feels like a metaphor for Maxine herself, who’s clinging on to this high society life one bucket of water at a time, and if the buckets stop coming … boom. Knowing she can count on the feminists to rally around a good cause, she goes to Linda’s new mansion to recruit them to keep the whale wet but doesn’t have as much luck finding Linda herself. Maxine is told that after Skeet’s funeral, a guilty Linda has taken a vow of silence and locked herself away in her bedroom.

Or perhaps more likely, Laura Dern had limited availability, and in true sitcom form, they found a way to write her out of the episode. It’s a good example of seeing this show’s production brushstrokes, like when the characters keep “bumping into each other” at odd places in what feels like an attempt to minimize shooting locations. But if it means being able to afford this cast, I’ll gladly allow it. So the characters communicate with Linda in the same way she shot her father, through a door.

Like a Catholic confessional, Linda sits at the door and comes clean that she, too, feels guilty about turning in Robert’s prince and leaving him heartbroken. When Robert told her that the prince leaving was his karmic justice for his own sins, Maxine assured him that karma was all bupkis — but now she’s not sure and is convinced the universe is punishing her with a whale. Despite this, she rejects Linda’s idea to come clean, adamant that she could never tell him the truth. But as it turns out, she won’t have to. When Robert bumps into the fedora-wearing detective (sans his fedora) at the bar, he tells Robert about the helpful tip Maxine provided to snag the prince. He’s naturally furious when he confronts her, but not just about turning him in. He seems even angrier that Maxine let him believe that it was his fault this whole time, which I mentioned last week seemed like her real misstep. She would have been able to explain turning him in, but keeping Robert in the dark is tougher to come back from. When she tries to tell him that he was a fraud, Robert points out that the pot is calling the kettle black since Maxine and Douglas are frauds themselves.

It’s a claim that Douglas has been proving right all episode, first by meeting with Evelyn about her plan to take down Linda. She figures the two of them have enough evidence to blackmail her into forking over the fortune, and Evelyn promises to give Douglas a cut. But Douglas declines her offer since his close call with the feds last week doesn’t make him too keen on breaking the law again so soon. At least that’s the excuse he gives Evelyn because just after rejecting her, he bumps into Pinky, with whom he seems to be hatching a different plan. So rather than teaming up with Evelyn, Douglas pays Linda’s door a visit solo — telling her about an idea he and Pinky had for a brand-new inclusive club in Palm Beach and benevolently offering to let her invest $3 million. “What happens if I say no?” she wonders via notepad, and Douglas confirms that he’d have to partner with Evelyn. This is blackmail inception. He’s blackmailing her with the threat of blackmail. And based on the expensive bracelet he gives Maxine later, it seems to have worked.

While Evelyn failed at partnering with Douglas, she has better luck with Maxine, albeit unintentionally. Seeing the sorry state Evelyn’s in as she packs up her mansion to move into Skeet’s old trailer, Maxine finally invites her to help with the Beach Ball — starting with the whale. However, she doesn’t prove very helpful after falling into a trance called “cetacean jubilation” — which, according to the show, is when the beauty of the universe rushes at a person after coming in contact with a whale. This also happens to me but while watching a Carol Burnett performance.

At this point, Maxine is convinced that the whale is her karmic punishment for what she did to Robert, so the only way to get rid of the whale is to set her karma right. When Ann, who’s been rummaging through the mansion, tells her that Norma once had a tryst with Axel Rosenhips — Dinah’s betrothed, as Maxine described him — she sees an opportunity to do something so benevolent that the whale will have no choice but to leave. She took away Robert’s prince, but maybe she can reunite Norma with hers. So off she goes to Dinah’s yacht party, Norma in tow.

But in case reuniting two former loves isn’t enough to correct her karmic balance and save the gala, she has another idea. She grabs the microphone and starts bellowing whale calls into it like she’s Ellen DeGeneres in a Pixar recording booth in an attempt to beckon the mammal back into the sea. And because this is Palm Royale, it actually works. The whale picks up and seems to walk his ass right back into the ocean. It’s as if he had the ability to do so this whole time — but why would he want to when the alternative was getting to hang out with Allison Janney? The whale’s return to the sea is great news for all but Evelyn, who is distraught to see her new love abandon her just as her old love did. Crying on the shore, she bumps into Eddie, the tennis pro she tossed aside in favor of the rich nonagenarian. See what I mean about these convenient “bumping into” moments? I’d estimate that 80 percent of this show is characters bumping into other characters. Anyway, both heartbroken, one by Dinah and one by a whale meant to represent her dead husband, they kiss.

Speaking of affairs, earlier in the episode, Robert discovers that it was actually Douglas, not Perry, who had been having an affair with Mitzi — a revelation that would destroy Maxine, despite her once being the Mitzi. Interestingly, this puts Robert in a position similar to the one Maxine was in last week. They know a dark secret about the man the other is in love with and have to decide how to handle it. Hopefully, getting a turn in Maxine’s shoes will help Robert forgive her. For his part, he meets with Douglas to confront him, but before we find out what Robert decides to do, the bar is raided and they’re both put in handcuffs. An added layer to this meeting is the knowledge that Maxine also tried to cheat on Douglas with Robert, which takes a little of the zing out of this scolding.

But at least things are going better for Maxine. Just kidding, Norma has been trying to murder her all episode. Just because Robert was a buzzkill and disarmed her last week doesn’t mean Norma is giving up hope. No, she’s still got murder on her mind. Back at the house, she attempted to poison Maxine’s grasshopper, but things didn’t go according to plan when the drink ended up with Ann, who I’m hoping survives. So instead, on the yacht, Norma strategically slams her wheelchair into Maxine, sending her overboard and into the sea as the yacht sails on. “You’re all cocksuckers,” she cries out as she treads water, then across the water she hears something. “Thank you, Maxine,” the whale tells her in its native tongue. Sure, Palm Royale, whatever you say. At this point, I’m half expecting this to go like the end of Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar with Trish the water spirit coming to the rescue.

Shiny Sheet Headlines

• There’s something to this Axel Rosenhips (no relation to Axel Rose, presumably) love affair. Ann said Norma cut off contact when she went to boarding school, so it wasn’t like they fell out of touch by accident — and she doesn’t seem quite as excited by their reunion as he was.

• The scene where Robert confronts Maxine about the prince while Norma tries to poison her in the other room is peak soap opera, dramatic scoring and all. It makes me wonder what the show would look like if it leaned even more into the soap parody genre — á la the ’70s sitcom Soap.

• In a twist perhaps aided by Linda’s absence, Mary has joined the freedom fighters after being inspired by delivering Sylvia’s baby. Anything to get more Mary — one of the show’s funniest characters, brilliantly played by Julia Duffy — is a victory in my book.