Nobody Wants This Recap: The Matzah Ballers Playoff Run

Nobody Wants This

WAGS

Season 1 Episode 7

Editor’s Rating 3 stars ***

Photo: Adam Rose/Netflix

You’d think meeting the friends would be a little less stressful than meeting the family, but you’d be wrong. Noah admits to being legitimately nervous about meeting Joanne’s friends over brunch, and he already knows one of them! There was nothing to worry about, since Ashley already loves him and Ryan and Charles are immediately onboard because Noah does things like ask the restaurant for a phone charger and get a positive response and talks shit on whoever they want to talk shit on. He wins them over with ease.

Joanne is a different story. It would be awesome if Nobody Wants This gave Joanne the upper hand in the relationship at least once, but it seems not to be. It’s not that Noah’s friends don’t like her — they actually think she’s great when she comes to one of Noah’s basketball games (yes, his team is named the Matzah Ballers). But their wives? Their wives are under strict orders from Esther to hate Joanne no matter what. They are all friends with Rebecca, and they are standing by her side even if, you know, it’s more complicated than that, and Noah is a grown man who has repeatedly said he doesn’t want to be with Rebecca, et cetera. When Joanne tries to greet all the WAGs (wives and girlfriends of athletes, like Victoria Beckham … and no one else that Joanne knows about), Esther doesn’t even want the other women talking to her, and they all leave — and force their husbands to leave, too.

Yeah, Joanne is neurotic and claims this whole thing is “the absolute largest problem I’ve ever had in my life,” which is a little dramatic, but seriously, Noah is way too casual about this. “They’ll grow to like you” is not a solution to this problem! I mean, he could, like, have a frank conversation with his sister-in-law, but I guess everyone is just too scared of Esther. (The show could do a much better job of rounding Esther out, but throughout this entire thing, I am trying to remind myself that Rebecca is her best friend, and she’s fighting for her, which is understandable to a point.)

Thankfully, when Joanne pushes for a little bit more help, he gives her some tips on how to win over each woman. Talia loves to talk about herself and her wedding in Aruba, so at the Matzah Balls playoff game (they are very excited about it), Joanne slips Aruba into conversation and asks to see her wedding dress. Rachel designs “inspirational chokers,” which seems like an oxymoron but is real — Joanne rocks one at the game. She even figures out a way to not be freaked out by the woman still breastfeeding her 5-year-old, a feat for anyone, but especially Joanne. And yet, Esther, even with Noah’s tip that to win her over, talk shit on anyone and everyone, remains as cold as ice. She gives Joanne nothing.

Joanne needs backup. She calls up Morgan, who doesn’t waste any time coming to her sister’s side. These women don’t get to be the popular mean girls, she says; she and Joanne are the popular mean girls! She has one move in her playbook to get them on her sister’s side: Get them all shit-faced. Esther, who is still calling Joanne and Morgan Whore One and Whore Two to their faces — which seems like a lot, come on, dude — tries to resist, but all of her friends have already taken a cup, so she has to. Since the Matzah Ballers are so bad, they decide to take a drink every time they miss a shot, and holy hell, do they get drunk. The boys are terrible. The thought of Sasha yelling “Kobe!” before tossing brick after brick will never not bring me joy.

It looks like all the WAGs, as it were, have a great time together. Joanne sneaks in confirming a double date with Esther and Sasha, and she even almost gets a smile out of her. This is progress. Joanne considers this all a win for her. (Not the Matzah Ballers; they definitely lose. It is close, though!) Joanne and Esther aren’t friends, but she’s definitely softening to her, even if Esther won’t admit it. Now Joanne can go home without the stress she was carrying and have her way with her boyfriend because she does seem horned up: “You were making those squeaky noises with your sneakers and it was very sexy,” she tells Noah. On the other side of the court, things are getting spicy between Sasha and Esther, too. But not, like, sexy spicy, literally spicy: He asks his wife if she would want to get some spicy food because he’s already sweaty and “we should take advantage.”

Alas, Esther cannot take him up on that tempting offer because she’s headed out with Rebecca … who is currently sitting out in the parking lot waiting for her. Sasha knowingly tells his wife not to start drama because she clearly did this to stir some shit up. The only problem, however, is that the only person this actually hurts is Rebecca. Joanne and Noah never see her or know she’s there — but she spots them, and it crushes her. This is actually a terrible thing to do to your friend!!

Little does Esther know that shit is already being stirred up because back at Noah’s house, when Joanne goes to grab a sweatshirt from his dresser, she spots a box tucked away that seems to be full of Noah and Rebecca paraphernalia. It throws her — Joanne is spiraling again!

In new best-bud news: When Sasha sees that a drunk Morgan has no ride home, he offers to drop her off. She’s suspicious as to why he would do such a thing, and he has to explain … because it’s a nice thing to do, and she needs a ride? Morgan and Joanne have seemingly never met even a halfway decent guy in their lives. The Roklov brothers are really opening up their eyes to this whole other side of life! By the end of the ride, they both begrudgingly confirm that, yeah, it seems like they are friends now. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this show doesn’t try to do anything weird with this pairing. Let these weirdos be best friends!!