ByAlejandra Gularte,
a Vulture news blogger who covers TV and comedy
Even Leo.
Photo: Netflix
At this point, when someone is signing up to participate in Love Is Blind, they know exactly what they’re getting themselves into. Sure, maybe not the full extent of it, but after six seasons of love and chaos, it’s impossible to imagine anyone involved would be ignorant of how their lives will be dissected for the month the show airs. You can’t keep anything secret from the internet sleuths; if you hid something from your partner on the show, someone online would eventually spill the beans (sorry, Tyler). And no matter how hard you may try, you can’t control the edit — you are not more powerful than the producers of this show. They’ve crafted supervillains onscreen and then somehow kept enough of their trust to put those people on another show for a redemption arc (see: Micah).
In a season where some of the biggest fights were off-screen, what the cameras caught on film really matters. How did this season of marriage hopefuls stand up against the pressure to elope sight unseen? Who came out on top, and who was left bottoming (in an unsexy, not-kinky way) the seventh installment of Love Is Blind? Our power rankings take a hard look at all the winners, losers, and love-to-hate characters from the season.
14. Stephen
Photo: Netflix
Imagine having no job and cheatingon your soon-to-be wife while lying about being at a sleep-apnea test? The audacity is louder than your snoring, Stephen. Something about him felt off from the jump — Stephen presented his flaws, like formerly being a Trump supporter, with a caveat about how he’s changed for the better without really giving Monica a chance to ask further questions. Plus he literally would not stop yapping, especially about weird sexual stuff while on-camera. (Yes, we’re kink-shaming on this list.) And when this man — who, again, has no job — decided to cheat on his financially supportive significant other, he then humiliatingly (and rightfully) had to pay her back. Stephen didn’t even have a good enough excuse for his behavior — he just selfishly hung his tail between his legs.
13. Tim
Photo: Netflix
Tim did a big reality-show boo boo: He thought he was more powerful than the edit. He tried to take control of the narrative during his breakup scene with Alex, pulling the plug out of seemingly nowhere and telling her that he never wanted to see her again— an empty threat, since he eagerly showed up at the same party as her in full costume. Pick a lane! His tactic might’ve worked if we saw their previous fights onscreen and if he didn’t make her father with MS cry when he gave the couple his blessing for marriage. However, because Tim was so controlling and protective of what the cameras saw, he just looked like a jerk for no reason.
12. Ramses
Photo: Netflix
Ah, Ramses. Unfortunately, this song and dance is all too familiar: hiding behind a “woke” persona that fights for universal justice and peace but lacking understanding for the people in his own life. It’s not to say his criticism of the military-industrial complex is wrong; it’s that he doesn’t have grace for his fiancée, whom he claimed to love and who just happened to be a Navy veteran who grew up with a strong military background. It’s kind of foolish to expect someone who’s just now unpacking that experience to be completely on board with your ideals.
But their difference in beliefs wasn’t the barrier to entry into the relationship; it was condoms. Ramses wasn’t excited about the idea of using rubbers, even after Marissa explained her physiological issues with birth control and how it affected her body. It made Johnny and Amy’s birth-control conversation look like a cakewalk. Even worse, he also pulled the same pretend-chivalry card that Marissa’s mother called out (more on that later) where he tried to make it seem like breaking up with Marissa was doing her a favor— she was crying to her mother on the phone that it “hurts so bad.” The only favor was getting away from you, buddy.
11. Ashley
Photo: Netflix
It was hard to watch Ashley knowing what was revealed afterward: that Tyler was not just a “sperm donor” for a lesbian couple but an active father in the children’s lives. It’s a twist not even the best telenovela writers could imagine. Ashley was understandably upset about the situation Tyler lied about but accepted him for his word, eventually saying “yes” to him at the altar. While we wait for the reunion to see how she really feels about everything Detective TikTok uncovered, it sucks to see everyone who was present at the wedding and that seemingly no one from Tyler’s side warned her. Did they assume she already knew? Or did he trick them, too? It’s not her fault she was unprepared for Tyler’s lies, but wasn’t anyone warning her?
10. Alex
Photo: Netflix
A napping and snacking queen, Alex had her plate full with Tim. To be honest, most of their relationship felt like a mystery to me. Their fights were off-camera, and it seemed hard to figure out their exact deal. However, throughout the experiment, Alex stood by her values, like insisting Tim ask for her father’s blessing and not wanting to get more family involved when the relationship started to get rocky. It would’ve been a true power move to expose on-camera what exactly their off-screen fights were about, but alas, the topic was slept on.
9. Nick
Photo: Netflix
Is Nick powerful when it comes to love? Not really. Is he powerful because he still lives at home, doesn’t pay rent, isn’t even in charge of feeding the cat, and managed to rizz up multiple women in the pods with the last name Dorka? Yes. He also kept Hannah’s interest long enough to get to the wedding-dress-shopping moment, when they eventually called it quits. Hannah is a person who seemingly broke up with someone in the pods once she realized how tall they are, and despite Nick not looking how she thought a smooth-talking football player might look, he kept her attention for a decent amount of time for Love Is Blind (three weeks).
8. Brittany
Photo: Netflix
Brittany explicitly told us that she wants to be a trophy wife and that she expects her partner to fully support her financially, which is completely opposite of what Love Is Blind contestants typically share about themselves. Brittany also seems like she was severely underestimated in the pods: She was in tears, realizing how everyone just calls her “sweet” instead of seeing her as a serious prospect. But what’s more powerful than a woman who knows exactly what she wants? Even when she’s staring a rich, horny art dealer in the face, she still doesn’t tell him “I love you” because it doesn’t feel right at the moment. She said it best herself: If she wanted to marry for money, she would’ve been married a long time ago.
7. Hannah
Photo: Netflix
Hannah, the youngest member of the bunch at 26, did not let Nick off easily. Throughout their short time together, she claimed she turned him into a man by asking him to boil pasta water — the only thing you can’t burn.She also pretty much got her friends and family to gang up on him while still supporting their engagement. Ultimately, Hannah managed to charm everyone in the cast except for Nick, but maybe she saved herself from being called “Hannah Dorka” at her new job.
6. Leo and His Rolex
Photo: Netflix
Despite all of the cringe throughout Leo’s time on the show, from blowing air kisses to having a meltdown when Hannah was trying to break up with him, we still wanted to see Leo and Brittany outside of the pods and for them to find love … Just kidding, we wanted to see how insanely awkward it was going to be. It felt like an air kiss of death when the text popped up that they were not invited to continue with the experiment. (Oh, and the producers thought Hannah and Nick would be a fairy tale?) The way I was rooting to watch more episodes with a rich kid wearing a Rolex in a show not called Gossip Girl baffled me and is a testament to Leo’s strange power.
5. Tyler
Photo: Netflix
Tyler in the edit? Likeable, charming, all-around good guy. Tyler on TikTok? Absolutely unforgivable. The man was able to con his now-wife Ashley and convince his entire family to stay mum about his children who are very much not just sperm-donor kids. And now Ashley’s defending him in Instagram comments after he lied to her on national television. He just created the weirdest case of Stockholm syndrome and earned a place in the top five solely for the audacity. Imagine how the kids are going to feel once they’re old enough to watch the show and see their father, who wore matching Christmas jammies with them, say he has no relationship with them? Netflix should pay for their therapy. He’s an absolute menace to society, and Todd Philips should write a movie about him.
4. Marissa
Photo: Netflix
While she was my favorite cast member this season, she ultimately was bamboozled by Ramses’s faux-woke, social-justice fuckboy char. This makes her relatable to any gal who’s stepped foot on a college campus. She’s from a strong military background and was still unpacking her experience as a sailor in the Navy. It doesn’t mean she’s naïve; she just hasn’t encountered someone like Ramses, who isn’t willing to budge for those who don’t have the same worldview as him. Marissa was also very explicit in her conversations with him about birth control and didn’t budge when he tried to pressure her into an option she didn’t want. But despite how deeply her experience in the military affected her, she was still willing to open her heart up to someone who waved a white flag.
3. Garrett and Taylor
Photo: Netflix
Garrett and Taylor were the easiest couple to root for this season and, truthfully, the only ones who should’ve gotten married. Their (well, Garrett’s) biggest crime this season was lying to Taylor, saying that he didn’t reply to his ex and only “liked” the message. It was still a shitty thing to do and completely avoidable. The fight was definitely escalated owing to alcohol and their silly little flapper outfits. But the couple got through it and said “I do” at the alter and even convinced Taylor’s dad to be on-camera. Who could hate two nerds in love? No one!
2. Monica
Photo: Netflix
This is a woman who was able to get her broke ex to Venmo her during their breakup — she deserves a Noble Peace Prize. At first, it was weird how critical Monica seemed of her doofus partner Stephen, but once she caught him sexting another woman kinky shit while he was “drunk at a sleep test,” it made total sense. A woman’s intuition is never wrong, especially when the subject kept bringing up their kinks on-camera in a strange “joking but not really joking” way.
1. Marissa’s Mom, Vanessa
Photo: Netflix
Our new favorite Vanessa in the LIB universe. She’s not on the top of the list because I am afraid of her; she’s on the top of the list because, despite my fear of her, I respect her. A single mother of four, Vanessa was the first person to clock Ramses on his bullshit as he was trying to tell a divorced woman about marriage (“I’m sorry, 25 is not young.”) She also foretold the cards Ramses was going to pull during his and Marissa’s breakup: “You’re making yourself sound like a saint.” While I disagreed with how she treated Marissa onscreen (calling her daughter a “bitch”), she did have her best interest at heart and promised to cut off Ramses’s balls if he hurt her daughter. Hopefully this will actually happen at the reunion.
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