femininomenon

Chappell Roan and the ‘Ungrateful’ Pop Stars Before Her

Photo-Illustration: Vulture; Photos: Lorne Thomson/Redferns, Marleen Moise/Getty Images, Kate Green/Getty Images

How vocal is a vocalist allowed to be? Chappell Roan made headlines throughout the summer for her attempts to push back against a culture of “creepy” fan interactions, urging her TikTok audience in August to treat her like a “random bitch.” But for years, critiquing aspects of fame has been a pretty reliable way of getting a singer dragged as ungrateful or unfit to be famous. (Consider Fiona Apple’s 1997 “this world is bullshit” speech, in which she urged fans to not aspire to celebrity while accepting the Best New Artist Video award at the VMAs; her remarks made worst-of lists across decades.) Roan has prompted discourse over whether backlash for speaking up is rooted in misogyny, asserting in a follow-up Instagram statement that “predatory behavior (disguised as ‘superfan’ behavior)” has become “normalized because of the way women who are well-known have been treated in the past.” In a recent Rolling Stone cover story, she noted only a few men — Orville Peck, Troye Sivan, Noah Kahan, and Elton John — have extended invitations to her to talk, while rattling off a much longer list of women who reached out to offer support, including Charli XCX, Billie Eilish, Hayley Williams, Katy Perry, Lorde, Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga, Sabrina Carpenter, and the members of both boygenius and Muna. According to Roan, Mitski sent her an email to “humbly welcome” her to “the shittiest exclusive club in the world,” where “strangers think you belong to them” and “harass” your family. The club has definitely welcomed a lot of women over the years. Is this a femininomenon?

Halsey

Herstory: In February 2016, Halsey was filmed coming out of a BBC Radio building to speak with a crowd that had apparently been waiting in hopes of scoring photos and autographs. “I’m getting a lot of really rude messages right now from people saying that I’m fucked up and that I swerved you and I’m being rude and I’m being mean,” Halsey said, explaining that she was doing press all day. “I would never just walk by you and not meet you. To abuse me like that online is kind of fucked up. I have a lot more interviews to do and I promise I’m going to meet people,” she said. “But please don’t be mean to me. I have a very busy day too, okay? It really makes me upset.” In a second video, Halsey appeared more agitated as she headed into a car, raising her voice slightly to tell fans who were calling out to her that she was “coming back.”

The response: Perez Hilton described the incident as a “full-on meltdown,” while “Page Six” wrote that she was “berating her supporters.” Clips continued gaining traction online, with people saying Halsey was full of herself and not grateful or respectful enough to fans.

The impact: Halsey attempted to defend herself online, claiming in tweets that she “literally A L W A Y S” stops for fans and hadn’t known people were waiting outside until after her fourth interview. Halsey has responded to online criticism multiple other times throughout her career, and has mentioned that backlash can sometimes come from her supporters. “My own fans are hands down meaner to me than any other people on the planet,” she said in a lengthy (and now-deleted) Tumblr post in August 2024. While Halsey clarified that this doesn’t apply to all her fans, she said it feels like the balance has shifted over time. “It used to be just a minority that were awful to me and now it seems like a majority have only stuck around to chime in occasionally with their opinion of how much they hate me or how awful I am,” she wrote. “it’s hard to want to engage in a space that is completely devoid of any kindness, sympathy, patience; or to be honest human decency. Especially after years of hiding from the interactions for fear that this EXACT thing would happen.”

Noname

Herstory: In November 2019, on a now-deleted account, rapper Noname expressed frustration to her fans in a series of tweets. She described the “relationship” between artist and fan as “really fucking unhealthy,” adding, “Yall like what y’all like and hate what y’all hate. And I don’t wanna be on either side.” Using a peace-sign emoji, she implied that she was done making music after her next album, Factory Baby. She later posted a meme implying that she felt like a clown because her music — neo-soul often addressing Black struggle and liberation — was “primarily consumed by a white audience who would rather shit on me than challenge their liberalism.” To Noname, Black fans who questioned her description of her audience demographics were “clearly proving they never been to a show.” She acknowledged that her Black listeners might not be concertgoers, but said she was “not going to keep performing for predominantly white crowds.” (In another tweet, she said “thousands” of white people scream the N-word at her at work.) When one fan said they didn’t believe Noname would be happy just quitting music like this, she responded, “Lmao you don’t know me.”

The response: She was criticized for alienating both her target audience and her actual audience. Some white fans felt offended that their support wasn’t welcomed. Per a now-deleted Noname tweet, people were also arguing that Black fans could be prevented from coming to shows due to financial factors or other personal reasons. (“As if Dababy, Megan and Smino shows ain’t black as hell? Say you don’t like my shit and move around lol,” she responded.)

The impact: Noname took a step back from music for a while. She never officially released Factory Baby, confirming in 2021 that it was being scrapped due to a creative block. However, in 2022, she mused, “maybe 30 is too early to retire 👩🏾‍🍳” in an Instagram post. Ultimately, she released the album Sundial in 2023. The track “namesake” includes the lyrics, “Go, Noname, go! Coachella stage got sanitized / Said I wouldn’t perform for them — and somehow I still fell in line.”

Mitski

Herstory: In February 2022, Mitski asked her management team to tweet a message on her behalf about phone use at concerts. While she noted that fans are ultimately free to enjoy her shows however they like, the six-tweet thread stated that seeing cameras filming entire songs or sets can make it feel “as though those of us on stage are being taken from and consumed as content, instead of getting to share a moment with you.”

The response: Some fans felt that Mitski was trying to tell them what to do, which they considered a no-no as paying customers who wanted to remember the experience of a show. Others explained that they had ADHD, depression, or other mental-health reasons for needing to film, with some even calling her request ableist.

The impact: Mitski’s team deleted the thread within a day. She recalled to Huck later that year that she was most disheartened to be directly told that people could do whatever they wanted if they purchased a ticket, regardless of how she felt. “It is sad to go on stage and now be conscious of the fact that, to some of the people in front of me, I am a dancing monkey, and I better start dancing quick so they can get the content they’re paying for,” she said. To this day, some Mitski concert attendees are still criticized by fellow fans for the way they use their phones or engage with her during shows. Mitski has also empathized with Roan, reportedly emailing her, “I just wanted to humbly welcome you to the shittiest exclusive club in the world, the club where strangers think you belong to them and they find and harass your family members.”

Lorde

Herstory: In spring 2022, compilation videos of Lorde shushing fans began trending on TikTok and YouTube. These clips were actually taken from her Melodrama tour in 2017 and 2018, when she sometimes wanted to have an a capella moment while singing the emotional ballad “Writer in the Dark.”

The response: While the videos resulted in several playful memes, some reactions weren’t so lighthearted. Lorde’s actions were criticized as cringy, arrogant, or ungrateful. “Tempted to purchase a ticket so I can scream the whole lyrics 🤣 even when she’s telling me to shhh, I’ll just continue 😂,” declared one YouTube comment with more than a thousand likes. Meanwhile, some apparent Lorde fans said they would have cried if they were shushed by the singer.

The impact: Lorde shared a video with an Instagram fan account on April 23, 2022, in which she pointed out that the “dramatic-ass move” was done “literally for an album called Melodrama,” noting that it happened “a couple times” on one song because she “wanted to try something different.” She assured fans that her shows are “an hour and a half of all of us singing and screaming together” and delivered a similar message while speaking at a Chicago show later that night. The internet had decided her actions were “very bad and very rude,” she said. Surrounded by real-life fans, however, she decided to perform “Writer in the Dark” for the first time in four years — and encouraged the crowd to sing along as loudly as they wanted.

Phoebe Bridgers

Herstory: In March 2023, Phoebe Bridgers criticized online fan treatment of her in an interview with Them. “I, at one of the lowest points of my life, saw people who claim to love me fucking dehumanize me and shame me and fucking bully me on the way to my dad’s wake,” she said. To people who harass her while having her face as their profile picture, she said, “I fucking hate you, and I hope you grow the fuck up.” This appeared to be a reference to the social-media storm caused after Bridgers was seen at LAX with Bo Burnham days after announcing the death of her father. The airport pictures prompted intense speculation about whether Bridgers and Burnham were dating as well as the timeline of her split with ex Paul Mescal. A couple months later, Bridgers also spoke about in-person encounters, telling The Wall Street Journal, “There’s a higher chance that you’ll meet a fan that you hate than a fan that you love. You’re way more likely to be confronted with someone who just violated your privacy.”

The response: In some PopCrave replies, Bridgers’s comments about online and in-person behavior were scoffed at by those who felt she wasn’t famous enough to be complaining this much, or by those who suggested that she was ungrateful or should consider another career if she felt so negatively.

The impact: In November 2023, Bridgers reflected to British GQ that she has been “negotiating” her “relationship with fans,” adding, “A bunch of shit this year killed the light in my eyes.” She specifically mentioned being photographed with her “boyfriend” on the way to her dad’s funeral. “A lot of people were like, ‘It’s OK to be talking about them because they’re celebrities; they chose it.’ A bunch thought we tipped [the press] off,” she said. “I saw people having discourse, and I’m like, ‘You think I want to look like I’ve been crying for seven days in pictures on the internet?’ Like, what the fuck?”

Doja Cat

Herstory: In July 2023, a fan asked Doja Cat on Threads if she could say that she loved them. “i don’t though cuz i don’t even know yall,” she replied. Another fan account responded, “and we don’t know you. but we have supported you through thick and thin. mind you you’d be NOTHING without us. you’d be working at a grocery store making songs on fucking garage band miss high school drop out…” Doja replied, “nobody forced you idk why you’re talking to me like you’re my mother bitch you sound like a crazy person.”

She had several other contentious interactions on Threads that day, calling it “creepy as fuck” that a fan was using Doja’s legal name as their screen name and criticizing fans who call themselves “Kittenz” by suggesting that anyone who uses that fandom name needs to “get off your phone and get a job and help your parents with the house.” When a fan account with “Kittenz” in its handle asked what term to use instead, Doja replied, “just delete the entire account and rethink everything it’s never too late.”

The response: While some praised Doja for her candor in pushing back against parasocial relationships, others felt that the way she was speaking to her supporters was too hostile. Another popular critique was that she viewed supporters as moneymakers that she selectively chooses when to care about; one viral tweet pointed out that Doja had recently said she loved her fans in a tweet about being excited for an upcoming tour.

The impact: Several large fan pages for Doja temporarily deactivated. She reportedly also lost more than 180,000 followers on Instagram. “Seeing all these people unfollow makes me feel like I’ve defeated a large beast that’s been holding me down for so long and it feels like I can reconnect with the people who really matter and love me for who i am and not for who i was,” she wrote in an August 2023 Instagram Story. “I feel free.” (It’s worth noting that during this period, Doja was criticized for more than just her July interactions with fans; she also faced backlash tied to her controversial then-boyfriend.) Doja did later make some efforts to assure fans that she cares. In September 2023, during a Scarlet listening party with fans, she painted “I do [love] you,” using a heart to complete the message. That December, she also stated in an Apple Music interview that she has “not once” said that she hates her fans, referring to that sentiment as a “big, misquoted thing.”

Ethel Cain

Herstory: Ethel Cain enjoyed a swell in popularity after releasing her 2022 album Preacher’s Daughter, which some bemoaned as the “TikTokification” of the singer. She became associated with various jokes and memes, many of which riffed on her visual aesthetic. In July 2023, Cain told The Guardian that she had started to feel like “a dancing monkey in a circus.” She noted that “laughter and memes and jokes are always really fun,” but said it started to feel like the “memeable internet personality thing” couldn’t be turned off when she was posting “something to be consumed seriously” and getting “thousands of comments that are like, ‘silly goose.’” She also recalled an in-person performance when she was singing the intro to the emotional song “Sun Bleached Files” and reached for a fan’s hand. “They began sort of screaming, ‘I didn’t even know who you were two weeks ago, I found you through a meme on TikTok,’” Cain said. “It’s almost like heckling. I don’t think any of them are mean spirited, but it’s a little jarring.”

The response: Some fans mourned after Cain confirmed that she had deleted her Twitter account and explained, on Tumblr in June 2023, that “the internet literally makes me miserable and i want to exist in as few places on it as possible.” Her TikTok and Tumblr pages also appear to have been deactivated that year. In March 2024, fans pointed out that comments on her Instagram account had been disabled; commenting is currently off for the majority of her posts.

The impact: Cain explained her reasoning for deleting her Twitter to The Guardian: “I always kind of conflated openness with honesty and I thought that if I was completely transparent and bared every aspect of my soul that people would think I was relatable and kinda cool,” she says. “Then I was like, I don’t want to know you. I don’t want to be friends with you. I don’t want to have all of my personal business and every innermost thought just out there on the internet for the world to see.”

Chappell Roan

Herstory: In conversation with Trixie Mattel for Paper published in June 2024, Roan expressed discomfort with being recognized more in public, using a recent encounter in Syracuse as an example. “I was crying on the phone to my therapist. I was like, ‘I don’t know what’s going on, this is scary, people are coming up to me and I don’t want to talk to them most of the time, because I’m freaked out. I have nothing else to say,’” she recalled. “I’m literally crying on the phone outside on the sidewalk, and this bitch comes up to me and she’s like, ‘Hey, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry to bother you, but are you Chappell Roan?’ I was like, I don’t know how to deal with this at all.” Roan clarified that she loves “the girls” and there’s “nothing wrong with coming up and saying hello,” but noted that “processing the information and coming out on the other side is the most difficult part.” Later that month, Roan told the audience at a show in North Carolina that she felt “a little off.” She said that it was “really hard to keep up” with how quickly her career was going, later adding, “This is all I’ve ever wanted. It’s just heavy sometimes.”

She later told Rolling Stone that a stalker has shown up at her hotel room and her parents’ house, she was once berated for not signing an autograph at the airport to the point that airport police showed up, and a fan grabbed and kissed her without consent at a bar. According to Roan, she decided to post a pair of TikToks in August after someone called her father’s leaked phone number. “I don’t care that abuse and harassment, stalking, whatever, is a normal thing to do to people who are famous or a little famous,” she said in the videos. “I don’t care that it’s normal. I don’t care that this crazy type of behavior comes along with the job, the career field I’ve chosen. That does not make it okay. That doesn’t make it normal. That doesn’t mean I want it.” Although her caption noted that she was not referring to any specific encounter, she alluded to family being stalked, people thinking it was “selfish” if she declined their request “for a photo or for your time or a hug,” and listeners who assumed they knew her personally. “I’m allowed to say ‘no’ to creepy behavior,” she said.

The response: In a follow-up Instagram statement with comments off (“I’m not looking for anyone’s response. This isn’t a group conversation”), Roan alluded to people calling her “ungrateful” or suggesting that she was not cut out to be a singer. “Women do not owe you a reason why they don’t want to be touched or talked to,” the statement read in part, emphasizing that she is appreciative of fans who respect her boundaries but does not need to accept “harassment” because of the career path she chose. Her caption also suggested that negative reactions are rooted in misogyny, pointing out that “every woman” has felt something similar to what she is experiencing. “If you see me as a bitch or ungrateful or my entire statement upsets you, baby that’s you… you gotta look inward and ask yourself ‘wait why am I so upset by this? Why is a girl expressing her fears and boundaries so infuriating?’” she wrote.

The impact: TBD. Roan had previously said on Drew Afualo’s The Comment Section podcast that she once promised herself that she would retire if fans were giving “stalker vibes” or her family was ever put in danger. “I’ve pumped the brakes on, honestly, anything to make me more known,” she told Afualo in June. Regardless, her popularity has only continued to grow. She’s performing at the VMAs this week (even as some fans are upset that she didn’t give more notice about canceled European shows). For now, she’s got plenty of women in her corner. “I’m not trying to name-drop,” she told Rolling Stone after sharing famous examples who have offered support. “I’m trying to tell you there are girls who are good people, who are helping other girls out. I’m name-dropping them because people just need to know that people are good people.”

Chappell Roan and the ‘Ungrateful’ Pop Stars Before Her