Abbott Elementary Recap: Three Tipsy Teachers

Anyone who has watched The Other Two knows how Josh Segarra’s puppy-dog charm can sneak up on you; I initially wrote his character off as an airhead himbo, yet by the end of the series, he was my airhead himbo. I’m biased because I love a man with a beard (especially a “date” beard), but even Gregory falls victim to the magnetism of Segarra’s aura when he becomes outrageously jealous at the thought of Manny and Janine on a date. Though the district coworkers have a very platonic relationship, Gregory’s suspicions aren’t solely a symptom of his feelings for Janine. As a viewer, the charisma Segarra brings to the character, combined with the natural chemistry between Manny and Janine, at times felt like a hint of a potential romance or at least a close friendship that had them each wondering, “What if?”

I will say that if we had a longer, more fleshed-out season, there might have been a fleeting moment between the two during Janine’s time at the district. Tonight’s episode felt like the bones of a larger storyline — imagine if the flowers on Janine’s desk actually were from Manny as a final good-bye after their wrong place, wrong time romance, not a parting gift from her coworkers. That actually sounds more like fanfiction Jacob would write about Janine and Gregory’s love story, but what really happens is just as messy. Now that the Abbott universe is opening up beyond the halls of the school, particularly making the local bar Rubenstein’s a frequent meeting spot, we get to see the teachers without their daytime inhibitions and, sometimes, under the influence of alcohol. An inebriated Gregory can’t help but spiral when, while out on a double date with Jacob, he sees what he perceives to be Janine and Manny on a date of their own.

Jacob’s new love interest, Avi, asks if Jacob has any friends with whom he can hook up his fellow paramedic coworker Olivia, played by the always wonderful Lana Condor. She’s adorable and genuinely shows interest in Gregory, building a flirty rapport and sneaking a feel of Greg’s bicep. There’s a 45-minute wait at the restaurant, so they get a drink at Rubenstein’s to pass the time. From across the room, Gregory spots Janine sitting in a booth wearing what an oblivious Olivia describes as a freakum dress before noting how cute Manny is after he slides into the booth across from Janine. Gregory raises his suspicions that they’re on a date, but Jacob shuts it down, insisting Janine would’ve told him. Jacob’s reassurance isn’t enough to keep Gregory’s attention away from whatever is happening in that booth; for the rest of the evening, he’s preoccupied by every minor occurrence at Janine’s table. So much so that he’s unable to pay attention to the actual date that evening: the one with Olivia.

Manny switches sides to sit directly beside Janine, sending Gregory over the top. He goes on about how this obviously means they’ve been dating for a while, and it’s “weird” that he and Jacob wouldn’t know about it. He jumps to conclusions, remembering the flowers on Janine’s desk on her first day back at Abbott, saying they must have been from Manny. By now, the entire table is uncomfortable with Gregory’s obsession. He begins to apologize to Olivia for being distracted when Tariq and Janine’s friend Erika join Janine’s table. Gregory still hasn’t made their presence known, saying she “clearly wants her privacy,” but his across-the-room reconnaissance isn’t enough when he sees Manny lean into the crook of Janine’s neck, causing him to leap from his chair, causing a scene. He saunters to their table, hilariously failing to be nonchalant as he tries to get information about this “double date.”

Janine declares that no one at the table is on a date, but Gregory doesn’t find this a sufficient response, questioning why they’re dressed well. Janine says she and Erika are going to the hookah bar, and this meeting at Rubenstein’s is to tie up loose ends at the district while Tariq, as president of the PRA, is there to get advice from Manny. Gregory continues to interrogate the foursome, asking why Manny leaned into Janine (he was showing her a text thread of the superintendent using Nelson Mandela gifs) and why he popped in a mint (he had garlic breath). Jacob appears, ending the line of questioning, but the damage is already done. Gregory was so preoccupied with Janine’s “date” that he missed the text saying their table was ready by thirty minutes. Olivia, turned off by Gregory’s behavior, leaves, saying maybe they’ll see each other again … if Gregory is in a serious accident, and she happens to be the paramedic.

While Jacob and Gregory embark on their double date, Ava hosts a meeting of her book club, which consists of Ava, Melissa, Mr. Johnson, the librarian Rosalyn Inez, and Jacob’s archnemesis, Mr. Morton. The group, called Ava And Her Reading Bitches (AARB), is reading Octavia Butler’s Parable of the Sower and has an “erudite discussion” after work to share their thoughts. Rosalyn jumpstarts the conversation by asking the room what skills they would bring to an apocalyptic situation, leading to a passionate back and forth about what makes a good leader in times of crisis and culminating with the club mirroring the events of the novel — or at least, that’s what I picked up on as I refuse to do a deep dive on the plot because I haven’t read the book yet. What I do know is that it’s speculative fiction set in the current year of 2024, which was the not-so-distant future when Butler wrote the book in 1993. The Earth is ravaged by climate change, and America is ruled under a caste system where the rich hoard resources while the poor scramble to survive (sound familiar?).

Everyone states their case for why they would be best equipped to lead during the end of the world as we know it. Ava insists she would be the best since she’s been planning for environmental catastrophe for decades. Barbara believes her “faith-based governance” will prevail at the end of times (as the title denotes, religion is a big theme in the novel). Melissa respectfully disagrees with her bestie — a move that produces a great stank face from Sheryl Lee Ralph — saying faith alone isn’t enough for the tough decisions they’d have to make. Mr. Johnson chimes in, asking Barbara if she can even dig a hole. Soon, their differing perspectives on the novel’s main point reveal themselves: Barbara is hell-bent on interpreting it as a religious testimony; Melissa believes it’s an allegory for not trusting others; Mr. Johnson says it’s a warning not to visit California. Sensing the conversation becoming more polarized, Rosalyn says that a book club is usually about expanding horizons, not reinforcing existing ideas. She suggests they break into groups of two, pairing up by compatible philosophies.

Mr. Johnson immediately calls out the novel’s parallels, noting that they’ve separated into “factions.” He teams up with Melissa, bonding over a nihilistic viewpoint. Rosalyn and Ava become a pair because of Rosalyn’s optimism, a trait Ava says would make her “thrive” (be easier to manipulate) under her tyrannical rule. Barbara is assigned to Morton, as Ava says her religion makes her adept at tolerating him. Her patience holds up … until Morton talks about how hentai shouldn’t still be an issue in his marriage. Barbara takes a break to grab water from a case of bottles in Melissa and Mr. Johnson’s space. Melissa calls Barbara a thief, and Ava, feeling the hostility rise, snatches the case of water to hoard for herself. Then, Mr. Morton’s food delivery arrives, a moment Barbara attributes to God himself, intensifying the divide between the groups. Civility goes out the window, and Ava steals Mr. Morton’s wings before sitting on the stage like a dictator, refusing to share. She dangles a chicken wing in front of them, telling them to “kiss the wing” if they want food. Mr. Morton almost complies before Barbara and Melissa stop him, condemning Ava’s claim to leadership. Mr. Morton and Rosalyn leave, declaring that things have gotten out of hand.

Barbara and Melissa start to follow suit, exiting the meeting right as Ava calls after them from the stage, saying, “Followers always give up! Now, follow the other losers out of here.” Unable to let Ava get away with calling them followers, Melissa, Barbara, and Mr. Johnson sit right back down to continue book club and push Ava off her high horse. They’re so stubborn they fall asleep there, not waking up until the next morning when a cafeteria cook wakes them up. Still unable to agree, the cook settles things, giving the best and most nuanced takeaway from the book, telling them that diversity is the only true path to survival before kicking them out. Meanwhile, The Three Tipsy Teachers Tearing Up the Town, as Janine calls them, debrief in the break room. The energy between Janine and Greg is spicy as she coquettishly asks to “grab some flowers from his garden” to replace the wilting ones from the district, ending with a great metaphor for their blossoming future.

Teacher’s Notes

• I owe Avi and the Abbott writers my sincerest apology; I mistakenly called him a police officer a few episodes ago, and he is a paramedic. Huge difference!!

• I am ecstatic that Abbott illuminated Octavia Butler’s genius, but I feel like a student who didn’t read the book on book report day. It’s on my Black literature summer reading list — I’m currently finishing Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe for those who want another recommendation — and now I really can’t wait to dig my teeth in.

• Avi, after Jacob apologizes for the date: “Oh no, this is the best date I’ve ever been on. Your friend is so messy!”

• Melissa, joking about Greg’s nonexistent beard during his pact with Jacob to grow out their facial hair for spring break: “If you were in my second-grade class, you’d have the eighth-best beard.”

• Melissa: “I would rather die than change my mind; it’s the American way.”

• Mr. Johnson, in a Southern accent, after Barbara asks for water: “Maybe you should try praying for some water.”