The Sick Minds at The Masked Singer Are At It Again

Well, looks like the absolute sickos at the mass-broadcast psych experiment known as The Masked Singer are at it again. Time works differently in the Maskverse, so the show is already on is fifth season somehow, and clearly they’re running out of cute, normal costume ideas like “Mouse” and “Egg.” Now, they mine inspiration by plumbing the depths of our nightmares. It’s the only explanation for this season-five preview clip in which two giant Russian dolls (well, one truly giant and one slightly less giant) duet to “Shallow” from A Star Is Born. Their painted-on eyes stare blankly ahead, immobile and piercing. The larger one’s mouth slides up and down like a sentient ventriloquist’s dummy. The smaller one’s mouth cannot move, yet it must scream. It sprouts legs for the chorus. They don’t even do the “aaaAAAAaaahh” part after the bridge; they just sort of let the song fizzle out. Mercifully, a third, smaller Russian Doll doesn’t climb out of the larger one’s abdomen. They must be saving such terrors for later. A thought: What if, when the Russian dolls are finally unmasked, there’s no one inside? The Masked Singer premieres March 10, and only then will we know. Don’t look now! They’re standing behind you.