Grey’s Anatomy Season Finale Recap: Blood, Sweat, and Tears

Wow, guys. I really thought that fog was going to do a lot more damage. Okay, so there are car accidents and people’s lives are at risk, and that truck driver Owen helps in the ambulance taking Frances to Grey Sloan so she can donate her golden blood did not look great, but overall the fog was pretty lame. It was no mudslide. It was no sinkhole. IT WAS NO SUPERSTORM. I was rooting for you fog, we were all rooting for you. But in the end, the fog was merely a minor obstacle, nothing too traumatic. Most of the trauma experienced in this episode was man made.

Well, there is one potential fog victim: Jackson Avery. I mean, he’ll probably be okay, but we should still talk about it as it is one of the major cliffhangers we’re left to ponder all summer long. When last we left Jackson and Maggie they were stuck out in the woods thanks to a huge rainstorm. Maggie was itching to get back because the hospital kept paging her about Gus and also because she was having the worst time imaginable on this trip. Once the rain stops and they can trek to their car and get out of there, the pall over the excursion does not change. In fact, it only gets worse.

The two keep sniping at each other: Maggie about how much she hates camping, Jackson about how much he hates hearing about how much Maggie hates camping. But then it takes a turn, and some things are said that cannot be unsaid. Maggie thinks Jackson wants to change her and he patronizingly explains that maybe because she rushed through school she missed out on some things in life — he’s just trying to expand her world a little bit. It sounds very condescending coming out of his mouth. Maggie hits back that Jackson’s problem is that he never had to learn about consequences because of his privilege. He’s the one who has no idea what real life is like. Also, she calls him “Mr. Monopoly” which is both petty and makes me want to see Jackson Avery with a handlebar mustache and a top hat so badly. Internet, be useful to me!

What the argument boils down to is Jackson feels like Maggie doesn’t respect him at all and Maggie thinks that Jackson might love her, but he doesn’t like her. You guys, I am not a couples therapist, but those things seem like major problems. Wait, am I couples therapist?

By the time they make it to the car, the tension is still high and the darkness and fog are setting in. Jackson pulls over since it’s not safe to drive and heads out with a flashlight to try and figure out where they are. He does not come back. We’re left with Maggie standing in the middle of the road yelling out his name. Maybe his life is in danger or maybe he was just really offended by that Mr. Monopoly thing and wanted out. After all, disappearing into the fog is the greatest form of ghosting I can think of aside from becoming an actual ghost.

There is another casualty of the evening we should discuss: You guys, TOM KORACICK. Can we talk about how this human is currently at home building BABY FURNITURE for a child that is not his because he is so in love with Teddy, who is currently confiding in Amelia that she is actually in love with Owen? And then she goes into labor and Owen shows up and holds her and tells her he’s always been in love with her and he wants to spend the rest of his life showing her that? And then their daughter is born and Teddy doesn’t respond to Owen’s profession of true love but she also did not call Tom to let him know she was having a baby and he is still at home happily building the baby furniture? I mean, no one happily builds baby furniture unless they are truly delusional. The man has no idea that the Owen Disaster Train is headed right for him and it will take down everything in its path. (Please see: Henry — yes I went there.) Also, let me remind you that Tom carries around the grief of the child he lost, and sure he is a dick sometimes, but mostly he’s a softy. Greg Germann is now (finally) a series regular so this love triangle will probably take some time to truly implode, but once Teddy and Owen end up together, who will Tom be paired up with? The man deserves love, is all I’m saying! Baby furniture, you guys!

Since we’re on the subject of men doing dumb things for love, this Deluca-in-prison thing has me sweating. And not in the good way! He gets hauled off in handcuffs after lying about masterminding the insurance fraud scheme in order to cover for Meredith. No one is happy about this!

Webber is especially upset when he learns what’s going on, but his visit to Meredith, still in the hyperbaric chamber with Alex and Gus, doesn’t calm him down. Meredith insists she’ll turn herself in once she can get out, but Webber doesn’t like that very much either — what about her kids? Meredith thinks she could convince a judge to be lenient since she’s a world-renowned surgeon and this is her first offense. (May they never learn of the Alzheimer’s trial!) Webber’s not convinced — no one is! And when Bailey mentions that she knows Meredith had something to do with this too and she will find out the truth, Webber makes a plan.

Thankfully, while all this insurance fraud drama is playing out (you guys, when Catherine met with Luis and Gabby and told them the foundation would take care of her medical care, did anyone else want to hurl something at the TV? Could Meredith not just have asked about this option in the first place?!), Owen and Schmitt deliver Frances to the hospital, who delivers on her promise to donate her blood, which then saves Gus’s life just in the nick of time. (Seriously, it looked grim for a second there.) Hold on to that silver lining as the rest of this episode plays out, won’t you?

Just as Meredith is confessing to Bailey and Catherine, Webber and Alex pop in and pull the ol’ “I cut the LVAD wire” season-two trick in which they both confess to the same crime as Meredith. Bailey’s like NOT THIS TIME, FOOLS. Although, in this instance they all did knowingly allow the fraud to go on and aren’t just covering up for Izzie Stevens’s rash decision. (Hey! Another person making poor choices out of love!) If Meredith is going down, they are all going down, Webber says. So Bailey fires them. All three of them. What a world!

Meredith is still planning on turning herself in to the authorities and heads to prison to tell Deluca as much. He objects, but she’s doing it … because she loves him, too. That’s a huge deal that I can’t even begin to process because I’m distracted by the fact that they’re already doing the touching-hands-through-prison-glass thing. Grey’s Anatomy wastes no time!

Laughter is the Best Medicine, Apart From Real Medicine

• Truly, Amelia accidentally letting slip that Owen and Carina used to hook up was a hilarious development. Owen’s face when Carina informs Teddy that it “meant very little” to her was perfect.

• Teddy and Owen naming their daughter Allison after Teddy’s best friend whose death on 9/11 inspired Teddy to join the military was a nice, fitting callback.

• Well, aren’t Schmitt and Nico the cutest? Nico realizes he needs some help after witnessing the miracle that is Kari’s slow recovery from paralysis thanks to the stem cells (yay!) and still not being able to feel joy. He’s messed up from losing that patient and wants to be able to see the world like Schmitt does. Schmitt finally stands up for himself and demands to be treated better and then he takes Nico to watch My Girl in his mom’s basement. The best part? Schmitt comes out to his mom and it is no big deal! Nico calls him amazing! It’s a lovely sentiment to take with you for the summer.

• First, I still cannot get over how good Amelia’s chop is. Second, she pumps the breaks with Link, but does admit he’s more than a rebound. Am I fully invested in these two? Someone send help.

• When Amelia and Teddy get out of the cop car in the ambulance bay and Teddy immediately starts yelling at Owen for sleeping with her O.B., Bailey’s response is “Oh, that’s complex.” Truer words have never been spoken, bless you Miranda Bailey.

• Alex: Bailey, am I really fired?

Bailey: Alex Karev, I hate it more than you do.

Sob Scale: 1/10

Some of the Alex/Jo stuff nearly got me going. Alex getting upset that he’ll be left all alone because Meredith could be going to prison and Jo is a shell; Jo finally admitting to Alex that she’s not okay and Alex telling her they’ll figure it out; Their tearful goodbye as she checks herself into the psych ward. Jo’s big a-ha moment was listening to Frances talk about how facing your worst possible fear and living through it could be freeing. My worst possible fear was possibly being on board with Jo Wilson and here I am! So, maybe there’s something to that.