In December, Saoirse Ronan will star as Mary, Queen of Scots in the historical epic aptly titled Mary, Queen of Scots. Although we only have a trailer at this stage, scenes of Mary tearfully screaming at her cousin and rival monarch, Queen Elizabeth I (played by a bald Margot Robbie) have already set the internet aflame with accusations of historical inaccuracy. (Everyone else who doesn’t need a Christmas blockbuster to be a documentary is mostly fine with it.)
A quick primer for Mary newbies: Mary Stuart was the great-niece of King Henry VII and was born in Scotland. She grew up in France and married Frances II, but after he died, she returned to Scotland to take up her throne. She married the English (and Elizabeth-approved) Lord Darnley and had a son with him, but then he was very mysteriously murdered — by, some say, the Scottish Earl of Bothwell, who then became her husband. Many people in Scotland were quite salty about the whole thing, which is why she fled to England … and was imprisoned in a castle for 18 years by her cousin Elizabeth. Accusing the Catholic Mary of being the leader of conspiracies against her, Elizabeth ordered Mary’s execution in 1587.
Over the years, Mary, Queen of Scots has been portrayed in pop culture as either a long-suffering martyr or an ambitious snake in the grass — a 1500s Taylor Swift, depending on the album. Even now, she’s considered by some to be either a victim turned revolutionary who was too courageous for her time, or a traitor to the still-beloved Elizabeth I. (Despite the 2018 film’s version of events, the two queens never actually met.)
But one thing all pop-culture depictions of Mary Stuart have in common: Mary’s pretty mad about every unfortunate event that befalls her. She’s mad at the Scots, who don’t immediately embrace her; she’s mad at disobedient husbands; she’s mad at Elizabeth for not (literally) letting her live. Though the silent era saw about six films about Mary — Marie Stuart (1908 and another in 1910), Mary Stuart (1913), Mary Queen of Scots (1922), The Loves of Mary Queen of Scots (1923), and Maria Stuart (1927) — most films and TV shows focus on Elizabeth’s point of view. There are a select few that show Mary in all her furious glory (including an anti-British Nazi propaganda film in 1940).
But which furious Mary is the most furious? Using a highly scientific criteria, we ranked our Marys from the least to most angry.
16. The Execution of Mary Queen of Scots (1895)
The first movie about Mary was an 18-second film produced by Thomas Edison. It was one of the first known uses of special effects, including the “stop trick” to make it seem like the head of Queen Mary (played by Mrs. Robert L. Thomas) was really chopped clean from her body.
The Execution of Mary Queen of Scots may have also been the first film to use trained actors — which explains why people apparently freaked out when they saw Mary’s head being cut off. Given it’s a silent film, we can’t really tell if Mary is yelling furiously about the whole thing, but she doesn’t seem pleased with the situation to say the least.
General yelling: 0/5
Furious crying: 0/5
Shouting things like “TRAITOR!” or “I AM THE QUEEN!”: 0/5
More furious about the situation than Elizabeth I: 1/5 (maybe?)
“Urgh, are you kidding me with this” face: 2/5
Fury score: 3
15. Wonderful World of Disney (1957)
Apparently in the 1950s, stories about young women being executed were perfectly appropriate children’s television. In an episode soberly called “The Truth About Mother Goose,” Walt Disney explains that the origin of the nursery rhyme “Mary Mary, quite contrary” comes from the Queen of Scots herself.
It all starts quite nicely: Mary Stuart kind of looks like a carefree, brunette Sleeping Beauty! But we are told that she brought with her from France “extravagant taste and a love of frivolity” which was “frowned upon” by the Scots. “Behind this playful little rhyme lies one of the most sinister and tragic stories through all history,” warns Walt Disney, before going into her various affairs with artists and poets (???) and her terrible marriage to her “selfish weakling” second husband.
This Mary is less furious — everyone else is deeply furious at her — than she is totally unconcerned about human life (she inspires a “violent battle” and upon viewing piles and piles of dead soldiers, she sighs and says, “Oh dear”) and once everyone has turned against her (including Elizabeth, who is jealous of her beauty) she is executed. “She remained quite contrary to the end,” Walt says with finality.
General yelling: 0/5
Furious crying: 1/5 (a bit of crying, not furiously though)
Shouting things like “TRAITOR!” or “I AM THE QUEEN!”: 0/5
More furious about the situation than Elizabeth I: 0/5 (Elizabeth is drawn much more furious)
“Urgh, are you kidding me with this” face: 3/5
Fury score: 4
14. Bloody Queens (2016)
This BBC docudrama is about the letters that Mary (Beth Cooke) and Elizabeth (Helen Bradbury) wrote each other over 26 years, getting around the fact that the queens never met by having the actresses angrily reading out their letters as if in dialogue with each other. There’s a lot of shouting and crying! Heaps of documentaries have been made about Mary, Queen of Scots over the years but few have chops as actual dramas (a.k.a., are more than historical reenactments where people are silently writing letters or standing mutely in ballrooms).
At the beginning of their correspondence, 27-year-old Elizabeth talks warmly about the “knots of friendship” that hold their realms together, but after she rejects 18-year-old Mary’s invitation to finally meet up, the pen pal relationship goes sour. “You can never persuade me that I have failed you, but you have failed me,” says Mary in disdain.
Soon everyone is furious, particularly Elizabeth. “I WHO SO OFTEN SAVED HER LIFE!” Elizabeth shout/writes. “Have some consideration for me, rather than always thinking of yourself!” Mary still thinks she is the rightful queen, but is more serene about the matter. This does not serve her, unfortunately.
General yelling: 0/5
Furious crying: 1/5
Shouting things like “TRAITOR!” or “I AM THE QUEEN!”: 1/5
More furious about the situation than Elizabeth I: 1/5
“Urgh, are you kidding me with this” face: 2/5
Fury score: 5
13. The Virgin Queen (2005)
This BBC miniseries spans the start of the reign of Queen Elizabeth (played by Anne-Marie Duff) until her death. (If anything, it’s worth watching for Tom Hardy playing statesman/the Queen’s boyfriend, Robert Dudley. He has a very funny tiny beard.) The third episode is partly about the court putting pressure on Elizabeth to execute Mary.
Elizabeth is initially very mad that Mary could be coordinating a rebellion against her, but is equally mad that anyone could order her to kill her own cousin. She spends a lot of time pacing around the equivalent of castle boardrooms, yelling at scared men. She’s generally quite a furious queen. Once she learns that Mary (played by Charlotte Winner) may be sending coded letters about her, she sends her own letter like, ““Cousin!!! How dare you!!”
Mary, in comparison, is incredibly chill (and very French). She seems much older than Elizabeth and is mostly shown petting a small dog and saying infuriatingly calm things like, “Like you, I am subject only to God’s judgement.” It causes Elizabeth great anguish to sign her cousin’s death warrant, but Mary seems to barely register that she’s about to be executed. She’s incredibly aloof, which perhaps is the French way to be furious?
General yelling: 0/5
Furious crying: 0/5
Shouting things like “TRAITOR!” or “I AM THE QUEEN!”: 0/5
More furious about the situation than Elizabeth I: 1/5 (barely seems to care)
“Urgh, are you kidding me with this” face: 5/5
Fury score: 6
12. Elizabeth I (2005)
Directed by period-piece master Tom Hooper (The King’s Speech, Les Miserables, The Danish Girl) this mini-series stars Helen Mirren as Queen Elizabeth, making it difficult to root for anyone in the show who is even remotely against her. This Elizabeth does not suffer fools (is Helen Mirren capable of playing someone who does suffer fools?) and does a fair bit of furious crying at the fact that she is surrounded by sycophants.
In this version, Elizabeth and Mary (Barbara Flynn) have a secret meeting that Elizabeth is excited about (“I heard she’s grown fat!” she says to Jeremy Irons) and Mary is less excited about. Mary denies that she is at the helm of any conspiracy against Elizabeth and they say very condescending and mean things to each other. “You are hard,” says Mary with a sneer. “I am an anointed queen,” she says to her friends, later.
This Mary is very stern and acts as if everyone on the planet — even her supporters — are very far beneath her. She is disgruntled at her death sentence, but uses it as an opportunity to tell everyone that Catholicism is the best religion, actually. “I SHED MY BLOOD FOR THE ANCIENT CATHOLIC RELIGION!” she yells, before she is very graphically beheaded … which takes more than one attempt.
General yelling: 2/5
Furious crying: 0/5
Shouting things like “TRAITOR!” or “I AM THE QUEEN!”: 1/5
More furious about the situation than Elizabeth I: 2/5
“Urgh, are you kidding me with this” face: 4/5
Fury score: 9
11. Horrible Histories (2015)
Horrible Histories likes to take the most gruesome and absurd moments in history and turn them into extremely English skits for kids. The execution of Mary, Queen of Scots is covered in season six, which includes her looking for a new husband on a dating site on her cell phone.
While Mary is portrayed as a young hottie, Elizabeth is older and extremely jealous. Mary seems the most disgruntled when her death sentence is announced, and expresses this through a song to the tune of “Bohemian Rhapsody.” “Is this a fair trial? Or is it a mockery?” she sings.
General yelling: 3/5
Furious crying: 0/5
Shouting things like “TRAITOR!” or “I AM THE QUEEN!”: 1/5
More furious about the situation than Elizabeth I: 1/5
“Urgh, are you kidding me with this” face: 2/5
Fury score: 7
10. Gunpowder, Treason & Plot (2004)
Gunpowder is a rare case of a mini-series or movie being entirely about Mary, Queen of Scots. This Mary — played by Clémence Poésy — is Frenchier and blonder than in most depictions. She is consumed with a desire for revenge against her doubters, but it’s a simmering and beautiful type of fury; like the scariest girl in your high school.
Mostly, this Mary inspires a great deal of anger. She delivers a lot of withering looks to Scottish people who are uneasy at her return, or who yell, “I CURSE YOU!” as she walks down the street. She looks blankly at people who scream at her in church, but then frowns like they’re a pack of morons and says, “I’m your QUEEN. You must OBEY your queen,” and they all get embarrassed. She threatens to kill people a lot and announces that she hopes her cousin Elizabeth “chokes” on the news of Mary’s pregnancy.
This Mary is mad at everyone (particularly the idea that Elizabeth could be more beautiful than she is — heaven forbid!) but saves most of her rage for the men around her; all of who hate her but also want to kiss her because she’s the most glamorous person ever to exist. She makes the same indignant face when she plans her husband’s murder as she does receiving another marriage proposal. Elizabeth seems more mad about Mary’s existence than vice versa. Mary does refer to her as a “wicked barren queen” but is sort of smiling when she does it, which is much scarier.
General yelling: 2/5
Furious crying: 0/5
Shouting things like “TRAITOR!” or “I AM THE QUEEN!”: 2/5
More furious about the situation than Elizabeth I: 1/5
“Urgh, are you kidding me with this” face: 5/5
Fury score: 10
9. Elizabeth R (1971)
Elizabeth R was the first British program to ever win the Emmy for Best Dramatic Series, don’t you know! The six-part BBC drama dedicated one episode, “Horrible Conspiracies,” to Mary (played by Vivian Pickles) and painted her as a pretty unlikable complainer.
Mary is very grumpy about being in prison and thinks that her jailers are a bunch of hysterical imbeciles. “Do you think I’m conspiring with the birds, perhaps? Or bribing the rats for escape?” she says sarcastically, before being persuaded by handsome Catholic man (and double agent) Gilbert Gifford to start cooking up a conspiracy against Elizabeth.
When she is accused of plotting to kill Elizabeth, she is extremely mad — “I can’t be held responsible for these desperate men! I just sent some letters!” — and tells the English gleefully, “I owe England nothing.” Then, of course, she is sentenced to death and is revolted at everyone, and even sticks her arms out at weird angles when she’s preparing to get her head cut off, just to freak everyone out as much as possible.
General yelling: 2/5
Furious crying: 0/5
Shouting things like “TRAITOR!” or “I AM THE QUEEN!”: 0/5
More furious about the situation than Elizabeth I: 5/5
“Urgh, are you kidding me with this” face: 4/5
Fury score: 12
8. Mary, Queen of Scots (1971)
Vanessa Redgrave was nominated for an Academy Award for her very sympathetic portrayal of Mary, who is positioned as passionate and brave, unlike her petty and calculating cousin, Elizabeth (played by Glenda Jackson, who also played Elizabeth in Elizabeth R). It’s a very second-wave-feminism depiction of the story, with no man able to match up to the strength and intellect of the two monarchs.
This Mary is sentimental (she also sings!) but is also quick to anger — she’s hurt that she’s not given safe passage to return to Scotland through England, is mad that the Scots aren’t completely blown away when she just turns up on a beach one day, and is livid that her half-brother, James Stewart, condescends to her. Both Mary and Elizabeth have several scenes where they fly into fits of rage and try to stab every man in the room, which is fun.
Mary and Elizabeth meet twice in this movie and yells things at each other like, “I GLORY IN YOUR HATRED” and “YOU ARE AN INFAMOUS ROYAL WHORE!” but Elizabeth is still reluctant to execute her. Finally, she begs Mary to just admit that she is behind the murder plots, saying, “For the first time in your life, put aside your personal desires and behave like a queen.” Mary says no.
(Fun tidbit: In this version, Lord Darnley [Timothy Dalton] and Mary’s adviser and friend Rizzio [Ian Holm] are lovers! History was a lot more interesting in the ’70s.)
General yelling: 4/5
Furious crying: 3/5
Shouting things like “TRAITOR!” or “I AM THE QUEEN!”: 1/5
More furious about the situation than Elizabeth I: 4/5
“Urgh, are you kidding me with this” face: 1/5 (she’s an earnest Mary)
Fury score: 13
7. Elizabeth I (2017)
Another docudrama that relies heavily on the drama, the three-part series stars model Lily Cole as Elizabeth and French actress Audrey L’Ebrellec as Mary. In the episode titled “The Enemy Within,” Mary spends a lot of time staring out of windows and grimacing, while hissing mean things about Elizabeth to her ladies. “She has abused me!” she spits. “How dare she waste my time! I will not trust her from this day forward!”
Elizabeth is fairly impassive about it all and seems to decide to execute her on a whim. Although she is quite furious leading up to this, Mary takes a very “urgh, whatever” attitude when she is finally accused of conspiracy.
General yelling: 3/5
Furious crying: 2/5
Shouting things like “TRAITOR!” or “I AM THE QUEEN!”: 0/5
More furious about the situation than Elizabeth I: 5/5
“Urgh, are you kidding me with this” face: 4/5
Fursy score: 14
6. Mary Queen of Scots (2013)
If you’ve ever thought to yourself, Hmm, I’d really like to watch a historical epic about Mary, Queen of Scots, but with the poetic sensibilities of an art-house film, then, boy, do I have a movie for you! The Swiss film, made by indie director Thomas Imbach, is a very melancholy and beautiful look at Mary’s tortured life in France and Scotland.
It’s sort of similar to Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette in positioning Mary (Camille Rutherford) as a teenage girl who just wants to hang out with her friends, make out with cute boys, and secure her rightful throne — just teen stuff. Although she’s sad that the Scottish people seem to hate her (“At least you’re more beautiful than Elizabeth!!” her friends say to comfort her) and is disgruntled by how much colder Scotland is than France, she mostly loves Elizabeth and hopes that “where strong men have failed, two strong women might succeed.”
Then her friend Riccio is murdered (and she begins hallucinating him egging her on to invade England), and Elizabeth stands her up at their promised meeting — and glam Mary becomes pissed Mary. She becomes paranoid that forces are conspiring to kill her son and is enraged that she has been imprisoned for so long. At one point, she wakes up and hallucinates that she has blood all over her hands and can’t pull a crown off her head. It’s creepy!
General yelling: 2/ 5 (mostly at the men around her)
Furious crying: 3/5
Shouting “TRAITOR!” or “I AM THE QUEEN!”: 4/5
More furious about the situation than Elizabeth I: 1/5
“Urgh, are you kidding me with this” face: 5/5
Fury score: 15
5. Reign (2013–2017)
“History but make it a teen drama” is a fantastic mission statement. The CW’s Reign may not be exactly “historically accurate” (it also involves supernatural elements), but in reality, Queen Mary was still a teenager when she arrived in Scotland, so ramping up the high-school-y elements of the story isn’t really so far-fetched.
Fifteen-year-old Mary (Adelaide Kane) arrives in France with her friends, who all look like they’re dressed by Topshop, and has to deal with love triangles, betrayals, inconvenient crushes, and you know, death threats by the English. People of the court sleep with each other’s boyfriends (and sometimes, the king of France!), spread rumors about each other, have threesomes, and deal with unplanned pregnancies. They go to balls in flower crowns and dance to instrumental versions of “Royals” by Lorde. They’re queens bees who are literally queens. It’s Gossip Girl with corsets, basically.
Like most good teen TV shows, there’s a lot of yelling and (literal) backstabbing in Reign. Young Mary is easily offended and is passionate about taking her rightful place as queen of Scotland, France, and England. For the first couple of seasons, she’s not mad at Elizabeth, but just generally mad at anyone who she thinks might cross her. Elizabeth is introduced in season three and is basically a redheaded Regina George who likes insulting people for funsies.
General yelling: 2/5
Furious crying: 5/5
Shouting things like “TRAITOR!” or “I AM THE QUEEN!”: 4/5
More furious about the situation than Elizabeth I: 4/5
“Urgh, are you kidding me with this” face: 1/5
Fury score: 16
4. The Mirror Crack’d (1980)
This metafiction Miss Marple movie is probably the most fun of the Marys. Two rival actresses (Elizabeth Taylor and Kim Novak — yep!) are brought together to star in a movie about Mary and Elizabeth, with the death threats and conspiracies moving offscreen and bleeding into the actresses’ lives.
Elizabeth Taylor (playing Mary in both the in-movie movie and the movie allegory) is so enraged when she sees Kim Novak at a pre-shoot party that she goes into a wide-eyed trance, only snapping out of it to say to Novak, “I thought the plastic-surgery seminar was in Switzerland?” Later, she tells her husband (Rock Hudson!) that “that bitch” has “so many lines on her face you could drive a train on it.” When someone attempts to poison Taylor, she suspects that Novak wants her dead.
Kim Novak isn’t as threatened by Taylor, but still relishes in the opportunity to show up her competitor. “We need some scenes of us together, so the world can see how much younger and thinner I am,” she tells her husband (Tony Curtis!!!) smugly.
General yelling: 4/5
Furious crying: 4/5
Shouting things like “TRAITOR!” or “I AM THE QUEEN!”: 4/5
More furious about the situation than Elizabeth I: 4/5
“Urgh, are you kidding me with this” face: 2/5
Fury Score: 18
3. Mary Queen of Scots trailer (2018)
I’m sorry, but this is one of the most furious trailers I’ve ever seen, so it is definitely making the list. Saoirse Ronan’s Mary starts out warm (but defiant) asking to meet Elizabeth so that they may rule together and not just through “a treaty drafted by men lesser than ourselves.” (If I had a dollar for every time I’ve said that in my workday.) But Elizabeth is very grandiose and stiff in her response, which indicates that her wish to “cherish” her cousin is code for “I effing hate you.”
The main indicator that this will be a very furious movie is a scene in which Mary and Elizabeth are both crying in some sort of barn, and Mary yells “I WILL NOT BE SCOLDED BY MY INFERIOR!” “Your INFERIOR?” says Elizabeth in disgust. Wigs get taken off, threats are made, and Mary goes in strong.
“Should you murder me, know that you would murder your sister,” Mary says, through tears. “And you murder YOUR QUEEN!” Whoa.
General yelling: 5/5
Furious crying: 4/5
Shouting things like “TRAITOR!” or “I AM THE QUEEN!”: 5/5
More furious about the situation than Elizabeth I: 3/5
“Urgh, are you kidding me with this” face: 2/5
Fury score: 19
2. Mary of Scotland (1936)
Katharine Hepburn as Mary, Queen of Scots is my favorite historical figure. This portrayal sets up Mary as a tragic Joan of Arc figure, who is immediately furious that her religion is being challenged in her home country. “I DON’T LIKE YOUR TONE!” she yells at her half-brother. “MY RELIGION IS NOT LIKE A GARMENT I CAN TAKE ON AND OFF WITH THE WEATHER!”
This Mary is vulnerable, but steadfast in her refusal to be restrained by “the ambition of other men” any longer. “I’m going to begin to be myself,” she tells a room of frightened men and very grandly curses them when they force her to abdicate her throne in Scotland. “Now I see your treachery,” she says with venom. “You not only betray your sovereign, you betray YOURSELVES.” Everyone shits their pants.
Elizabeth also yells a lot in this film, I don’t know if there’s a scene in which she says something without yelling it. Elizabeth is consumed with Mary and meets her expressly to threaten her (Mary is very “Kill me, I don’t care”). Mary dismisses her panicked cousin and responds sternly: “You were always afraid of me. You’re afraid of me still. You know my blood will stain you. And it will never wash off.” Yowzer! Shine theory really didn’t exist back then.
General yelling: 5/5 (even when she’s not mad)
Furious crying: 3/5
Shouting things like “TRAITOR!” or “I AM THE QUEEN!”: 5/5
More furious about the situation than Elizabeth I: 3/5
“Urgh, are you kidding me with this” face: 4/5
Fury score: 20
1. Elizabeth: The Golden Age (2007)
Samantha Morton is officially the most furious Mary, Queen of Scots of all time (unless Saoirse Ronan can ultimately match her level of fury, of course). Although this movie is undeniably about Elizabeth (Cate Blanchett) making sex eyes at Clive Owen and refusing to marry anyone, the handful of scenes that Mary is in are undoubtedly the tensest and most dramatic in the whole movie.
This Mary — who seems older than Elizabeth — is a very shady monarch who likes reading letters in the dark and tells her ladies off for calling Elizabeth a “bastard,” but then is extremely, “But do go on …” Mary thinks that she is the queen and that Elizabeth is a loser for not being married. We all have a cousin like that! When a young Eddie Redmayne tries to assassinate Elizabeth, the conspiracy is attributed to Mary, who is salty as hell. All she does is sit around in a castle and think about God! “Am I danger to England when I pray?” she says sarcastically to her captors, then scribbles coded letters when they leave.
When the letters are uncovered, Mary is like, “Who, me? What! I love my cousin! What!” A pointy-bearded man says, “Look, we have like a thousand letters from you planning on killing your cousin.” Mary yells “TRAITORS!!!” then waggles her fingers about and falls to the ground. Even as she is waiting for her execution and being irritated by her ladies crying about it, she says with steel, “I know who I am, and if I die, it shall be as I have lived — as a queen.”
General yelling: 4/5
Furious crying: 4/5
Shouting things like “TRAITOR!” or “I AM THE QUEEN!”: 5/5
More furious about the situation than Elizabeth I: 5/5
“Urgh, are you kidding me with this” face: 4/5
Fury score: 22