Broad City Recap: Treat Yo Self

I was just wondering where Lincoln had been! Don’t get me wrong, Broad City could just be Abbi and Ilana hanging out in a white void and I’d still want to watch it, but Lincoln has always been one of the show’s secret weapons. He provides a lens through which we can see Abbi and Ilana as other people — that is, people with their shit just slightly more together — might see them. This season seems like it’s allowing Abbi and Ilana some more introspection and growth than we’ve seen in the past, and Lincoln’s presence in “Just the Tips” is a good reminder of just how well Broad City handles these types of character moments.

Abbi and Ilana walk around Gramercy Park — the exclusive park in the middle of Manhattan that’s only accessible to the ultrarich people who live directly on it — and marvel at what they’d do if they had a key. They notice a man choking inside and they save his life through the bars. He offers them a favor, but when they ask for a tour of the park, he says no. He starts choking again and Abbi and Ilana walk away.

Jamie and Ilana sit in bed, snuggling with Ilana’s tip money. She’s got a day off work and she’s spending it in the king-size bed she bought for herself. In fact, now that she’s got disposable income, there’s nothing to stop her from spending money on anything she wants! She goes out to buy herself some happiness. First stop is a mani-pedi, and she’s berated by the manicurist for her waitress feet and fingernails. Wanting to prove that she’s not working-class, Ilana decides to get fake tips put on her nails, even though they’re very expensive (and time-consuming, and difficult to type with, and get caught on everything … but they look awesome and now I’m starting to miss mine after all).

Meanwhile, Abbi wakes up in bed next to Mike, the hot paramedic from last week’s “Twaining Day” episode. When he gets up to go to the bathroom, Bevvers excitedly takes his place, demanding the dish. Abbi tells him that Mike is her boyfriend, even though she’s only in a relationship to prove to Trey that she is, in fact, a relationship type.

Later at work, Abbi’s elaborate whiteboard doodle is immediately erased by Dara, who asks if anyone will be bringing a plus-one to an upcoming company event. Abbi immediately volunteers the information that yes, she’s in a committed relationship, a fact that her co-workers (including the hilarious Dan Chamberlain) are already tired of hearing about.

While continuing her day of “buying herself happiness,” Ilana drags Eliot to the Pleasure Chest, where she models a new leotard that makes her brother understandably uncomfortable. Ilana invites Eliot to a random party she’s going to that night with Abbi and Jamie as a way to show off her newfound wealth, and later pulls up to pick up Abbi in the back of a stretch limo sporting a new wig.

At the party, Jaime meets a guy who looks exactly like a male Lucy Liu. But Jamie’s got a yeast infection that’s not only got him feeling unsexy, it’s also left him contemplating a circumcision. Penile alteration aside, Abbi, Ilana, and Jamie get very drunk and high, and Abbi finds herself flirting with a cute stranger. She’s got that “in a relationship” glow, and suddenly everyone is hitting on her.

Determined to stick with her new beau, Abbi tries to text Mike, but the cell service at the party is terrible. She ends up on the fire escape, where she notices a woman crying in another apartment. Abbi offers an ear, assuring the woman that she is a relationship expert. The woman tells Abbi about how her husband has been distant lately, and Abbi gives her communication advice. The woman asks how long Abbi and her boyfriend have been together, and Abbi confesses that it’s only been six days. The woman tells Abbi she’s not in a relationship — she’s basically sleeping with a stranger.

Meanwhile, Jamie runs over the pros and cons of circumcision with Damien, who realizes he may be missing some circumcision-based sensitivity. Ilana also runs into Damien, who turns out to be the one throwing the party. That’s when Ilana realizes that Lincoln must be there, and she turns around to see him waving. Ilana downs another glass of Champagne and goes over to say hi. That’s when Ilana meets Lincoln’s new girlfriend … and suddenly shits herself.

In the bathroom, Ilana can’t get out of her leotard because of her nails, so she desperately calls Abbi for help. But Lincoln knocks on the bathroom door — he recognized Ilana’s “shitting in the leotard” face and came to help. Ilana manages to get cleaned up while she asks Lincoln about his new relationship. He tells Ilana that he’s happy, and that he hopes she gets what she wants. And that there’s “only one Ilana Wexler.”

Abbi calls Mike and tells him they need to break up. Mike sounds unsurprised. They’ve only been together six days, after all, so it’s not like they’re exclusive.

The next day, Jamie helps Ilana rip off her new nails — yikes — and she admits that she can’t “stuff her tips into her empty heart.” For her part, Abbi has realized that she might just not be a relationship girl, and that’s okay. She can just focus on herself for a while instead.

That Abbi isn’t into relationships and Ilana is a secret romantic is one of my favorite dynamics on Broad City, and I’m excited to see it explored a little more fully. And besides, Abbi having a “real” job and Ilana suddenly flush with cash is proof we’ve come a long way from where we first met the girls. Watching them grow up and figure out what it means to have a BFF when you’re also maintaining relationships and careers will be interesting, and I really hope the show leans into it.

Other Thoughts

• Ilana’s first song of the season is called “White Guilt.”

• You’d honestly have to be a sociopath to go to a random party that you found on Facebook. Ilana’s chutzpah aside, this seems like a pretty solid no-go for social interactions circa 2017.

• Speaking of sex shops, I just want to make sure everyone is aware that Broad City has its own line of sex toys.