Claws Recap: My Dead Boyfriend’s Back

Claws

Teatro

Season 1 Episode 8

Editor’s Rating 4 stars ****

Claws. Photo: Doug Hyun/Turner Entertainment Networks, Inc.

Why waste any time when the episode didn’t? Roller. Is. Back. He’s 100 percent alive and 100 percent different.

While the nail crew is freaking out about what to do, and Dean is offering that maybe it’s a reincarnation of Roller, Jen’s weird square-dancing boyfriend drops off a potted plant. This is a weird affair, and I’m not even sure if it’s an affair. Desna gets Hank out of the shop and right behind him is Roller. Not a ghost. Not an apparition. Straight-up alive Roller. And then everyone screams. That was a delight. There should be more yelps in unison on TV.

Desna is apprehensive about Roller and she flashes back to his murder. Surprisingly, Roller is totally chill and actually sweet. He gives her a big hug and everyone is staring with their mouths wide open. Can it be physical comedy if everyone is perfectly still? Roller doesn’t remember anything, except that he got shot through the chest. He says that a crazy lady took care of him in the swamp and he came straight to Desna. Desna thinks it’s a good idea to take him to Uncle Daddy. Everyone else in the shop goes with, but Virginia stays behind.

Uncle Daddy is meeting with his investors and their turtle when he sees his painting of his sons as two Jesuses on the wall start crying blood. He stands up as the music swells and sees Roller floating up the stairs bathed in light. When he realizes that Roller is real, he drops his Bloody Mary and Toby faints. Bryce hug-tackles Roller and says it’s a miracle. They bring in Dr. Ken to check Roller out and it seems to be just some run-of-the-mill PTSD-related amnesia. Roller wants to take Desna out to talk about some things and continue to be emotionally available.

Uncle Daddy is going to throw another party. Do you think the writers’ room got together and was like, “All right, everyone! Let’s think of 13 different party themes and we’re gonna work each one into an episode”? This one is going to be a white party and I’m already excited. Desna and Roller go to get some shrimp, and talk about their relationship and if Roller remembers anything. Let’s get that one figured out. Roller? What do you remember? Nothing? Oh, no reason. Roller decides to recommit to Desna, and that starts with what Gladys taught Roller in bed.

Roller comes in with no shirt on and takes Desna to bed. Desna starts to choke him because that’s what she remembers about him, but he stops her and says he doesn’t want that anymore. He asks her to get on top, which is television shorthand for “I respect this woman and her sexual agency.” He tells her she’s his everything and I melted. She wakes up the next morning to Jen’s entire family in her house. Jen is using buckwheat pancakes as an excuse to check up on Desna. The cute Haitian doctor stops by because he is the master of terrible timing. Roller comes out to check on her, and says it’s okay that she works fast and already has another boo. The cute doctor seems to be okay with Desna’s complicated life and kisses her. At the clinic, Roller is eager to get back in the game, but Bryce has been just crushing it. He even created a new digital program to create patient records.

Uncle Daddy tells Roller he needs his rest, and the best place for that is the white party! I love the assortment of bodies and looks that exist at every party at Uncle Daddy’s. Uncle Daddy and Juanda welcome Roller back to the land of the living with a toast. Desna has a DRESS ON. It looks like if you took an amazing mesh bathing suit and made it a maxi dress. I need a link to whatever Instagram-based clothing store it came from. Roller also takes the opportunity to apologize about Virginia and say he’s willing to overlook Desna’s new boyfriend. Dean also reveals that he and Virginia are dating and they had sex. And she had an orgasm!

Desna notices that someone is texting Roller asking him for money. Let’s keep an eye on that. Roller wants to get back in at the clinic and Bryce offers him the MRI truck. He flips out and calls Bryce a crackhead. Jen thinks it might be a good idea for Roller to take over the clinic again to maintain their sobriety. Polly is outside with Dr. Ken, and she offers that what he really wants is to be ridden while she squeezes his nipples. They dash off and bang in an outdoor shower.

Roller goes to talk to some Russians in a sports car and tracksuits. They’re demanding $150,000, and then they’ll be finished with him. There’s no way for him to get the money. He’s got 24 hours. Roller dances with Desna and asks why he can’t find any of his stashes anywhere. A Champagne bottle pops and Roller passes out. When he comes to, he says he remembers who put the hit out on him and it was THE RUSSIANS! Oh, how convenient Roller. Uncle Daddy throws everyone out of the party so they can handle it. Desna sends Polly and Ann to the check-cashing place that’s owned by the Russians to get a handle on things. They find out that Roller has been giving the employees a large amount of money.

Desna goes over the books at the clinic and discovers that Roller invented a company, Tigel, that’s legit spelled backward, and has been taking money from the clinic. He’s been embezzling money, and Polly thinks Desna needs to go right to Uncle Daddy. Bryce and Roller are already with Uncle Daddy, and Roller wants Uncle Daddy to go after the Russians. Uncle Daddy thinks now isn’t the time because any extra-nefarious behavior could attract the police or the DEA just as they’re trying to expand. Bryce and Roller start going at each other, and Bryce attacks Roller for insulting him. Speaking of the police, Arlene calls Ann and tells her that certain things about the Koons’ murder don’t add up, and she finds a fake nail on Roller’s dock. She also knows that Chip is a really crooked cop.

At the salon, a very stylish Russian lady, Riva, comes in and kicks all the other customers out. They’ve got business to attend to. She wants to know why the gals have been poking around her check-cashing business. Desna comes right out and says that she killed Roller. Why? Someone explain this strategy to me. Riva reveals that Roller was working for her and double-crossing his family.

Desna meets Roller at the marina and tells him she knows that he’s been doing something with Riva and her crew, and Roller throws her in the car. Desna says that the girls know where she is, and all she wants is for her and Virginia to be left alone. All Roller says is “get in the car, bitch.” Well, all that emotional vulnerability didn’t last long, did it?