You’re the Worst Recap: Whack as Hell

This episode begins with a promising image: Gretchen snorting Adderall. We were wondering when she would treat her depression, and Gretch has always been more of the self-medicating type, so … at least she’s trying?

Dorothy is there, having spent the night with Edgar (oooh, someone’s relationship is getting serious!) and so is the gun Jimmy’s dad bought last week. I’m worried about that gun. Gretchen wants Edgar to get rid of it, but his PTSD means he’s not the best person for the job, so she just stuffs the gun in her handbag instead. I am very, very worried about this!

She also packs up what Edgar calls “her best garbage bag” because she’s going to stay with Lindsay for a while. Lindsay was around the last time Gretchen spiraled into depression, so this seems like a really solid idea. Good work, everyone.

But now that Jimmy is left alone — and understandably frustrated with Gretchen — he is spending a lot of time with Nina, the hot bartender who totally gets him and shares his love of obscure British comedy and is always doing Cool Girl things like throwing her leg up on the bar to show off the size of her feet. (She also brags about how she broke her leg in a dozen places while skiing competitively.) Nina straight-up invites herself to Jimmy’s to watch the Buckle Your Shoes holiday special; Jimmy texts Gretchen a head’s up, which is the perfect opportunity for her to say she’s upset, or to thank him for letting her know or to really do anything at all. She replies, instead, with “K not there.”

This old school version of Netflix and chill (DVD and chill?) leads to, well, Netflix and chill. Nina — who’s laying it on a little thick, to be honest — basically leaps onto Jimmy lap as we watch Beatrice and Heathstead express their love: “I’m not here for bleeding boots.” Just as Nina’s hand starts to slide up Jimmy’s thigh, though, he’s like “HI I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND OOPS SORRY DID I NOT SAY THAT BEFORE.” (That’s a slight paraphrase.) Nina skedaddles right out of there, but not before she steals Jimmy’s Buckle Your Shoes DVD, his DVD player, and an HDMI cord.

Jimmy goes to Lindsay’s place to confess his not-quite sins to Gretchen, who has moved from snorting study drugs to snorting cocaine. (It’s the more grown-up choice.) Gretchen is totally unmoved by Jimmy’s admission — she doesn’t even care that he didn’t hook up with Nina, which is probably enough to make Jimmy wish he had — and then delivers maybe the darkest, saddest line we’ve seen on the show, ever:

“I feel nothing. About anything. Dogs, candy, old Blondie records, nachos, you, me, us. So for the last time, please go.”

I know this is a cry for help, but how can you convince an adult to get help when they won’t admit they want it? At times since Gretchen revealed her condition, I’ve thought that Jimmy hasn’t been there for her the way he should. She isn’t just hurting herself, though; she’s also hurting the people around her. After her conversation with Jimmy, I don’t know what kind of saint could not go do something, or anything, to feel better.

This is how we find Jimmy, lips red with licorice-flavored vodka, back at Nina’s bar. (“Were you expecting Chris Hansen?”) And, well, you know what happens after that. I thought I was team Gretchen and Jimmy all the way, but … maybe I’m not? Perhaps, at this moment, they don’t really belong together? That’s why I was on board to see Jimmy and Nina get together. Good for those crazy drunk kids. Let’s see how their hangovers treat them in the morning.

In other news, Lindsay is getting her fill of Becca, who has never been more insufferable, and Vernon, who is … still Vernon. Becca’s self-righteous pregnancy speak is truly horrid — “Creating a human life, I gotta tell you, it is so fulfilling” — but Lindsay is armed with some solid comebacks: “You can’t ever do anything fun because you’re ruining your body with some ginger-headed parasite.” (Even Vernon respects the heat of that burn.)

But Lindsay’s got other stuff to worry about, like tagging along with Sam for his Fire 103 interview. I know I’ve said this before, but I cannot repeat it enough: Sam is the best. I would watch Sam do anything. FXX should make a You’re the Worst web series, just so we can see him joke around all the time.

His track, “New Phone Who Dis,” does not go over well with Fire 103’s listeners. (Typical review: “Whack as hell.”) Sam flips out, then blames Gretchen for not preventing his impossible-to-prevent tantrum. “My blood sugar was low. You’re supposed to get me some goddamn almonds!” Sam’s still fuming over Honey Nutz and Shitstain’s insults, even though as Gretchen tells him, they didn’t say anything that wasn’t true. “You don’t have the head shape for a five-panel hat.”

The next day, they return to the studio — it seems like it could be a “Gretchen is high” dream sequence but nope, it’s real — and Shitstain and Honey Nutz are there! Sam rips into yet another caller (“Look it up you poor-as-shit, no-search-engine-having … “) and then declares that he will change the face of everything: “Music, art, amusement parks, farm-to-table, claymation, laser shows … “

Outside the studio, the guys finally come together, united by a common enemy: a beatdown from that caller Sam just trashed and her friends. Gretchen watches all numblike, and then OH HOLD UP SHE STILL HAS THAT GUN.

I know she’s dealing with a lot — and I know this is not supposed to be “cool” — but when Gretchen pulls the gun on that girl and just says “Run,” I am into it. And I’m also relieved that no one ends up getting shot.

Other updates: Edgar and Dorothy are going strong, even though Edgar acts like a jerk at a barbecue with all her old improv friends. Jimmy advised him not to “be himself” around her friends, but instead, to “mimic everything they do, like a rapidly mutating virus.” Wisely, Dorothy tells Edgar to never follow Jimmy’s dating advice again.

Also, Vernon might have a hard time paying for that Disney cruise. He’s ceded control of his finances to Kasha, a woman he met on the internet who treats him as a “money slave.” (“Little pig boy, pay for my Invisalign.” Of course Vernon would be into something like this.) What’s going to happen when Becca finds out, though?

The worst: A text that just says “K.”

Runners-up: The fact that Edgar knows the weight of a human soul (21 grams), the Disney cruise mason jar, the way Vernon and Becca have sex, missing Jaclyn’s dental-school graduation.

One good thing: “Well Beatrice, it’s been a right pleasure, buckling your shoes.”