This article discusses the entire run of True Blood, including the series finale, “Thank You.” If you haven’t already watched the episode, come back later, because we still don’t have the power to glamour away your memory or your anger about massive spoiler bombs.
True Blood is now officially done, but we’re still shaking the bottle for a few last drops. It’s not a question of being satisfied or not with what HBO has given us for the series finale, but not being able to let go, especially when it comes to all the questions we still have about the TV adaptation of Charlaine Harris’s Southern Vampire Mysteries series. Here are nine things the final episode of the show didn’t answer:
Why was Bill not bloodthirsty? The other Hep-V–infected vamps needed more and more blood to satisfy their cravings as the disease progressed from stage one to stage four. Isn’t that why the whole town of St. Alice was wiped out, and why the Hep-V vamps continued on to Bon Temps? (“I have to eat every hour on the hour,” one of the infected vamps complained.) Somehow Bill was immune from this?
Why didn’t vamps use their blood to heal all bite marks? If ever vampires were worried about their bite marks giving them away, why didn’t they make the logical decision to use a dab of their blood to make the marks go away? Of course, without those marks, we wouldn’t have known who the fangbangers were, so there’s that.
Why didn’t medical science ever exploit vampires for their healing properties? If capitalism is alive and well, as evidenced by Eric and Pam’s flash-forward careers as purveyors of New Blood, why didn’t any doctors or hospitals get in on the action? Instead of just using V for its ecstasylike properties, humans could have kept vials of V around for medical emergencies — vampires could have made a tidy profit in providing this of their own free will. How did the people of Bon Temps not clue in the nearest hospital in Monroe? Or set up a clinic in their own town, perhaps side-by-side with the testing-for-Hep-V station? It’s not like these people never got injured …
If Bill’s house is left to Andy, but Jessica and Hoyt live there, does only Andy have the power to invite vamps in? When Sookie’s house belonged to Eric, she lost her ability to extend and rescind invitations to vampires. If Bill’s house belongs to Andy, but Hoyt is the human inhabitant, does he have to call Andy over every time he wants to have a vampire dinner party with Jessica’s friends?
Is there any remaining body of vampire government? The Authority is dead. The Magister is dead. The queen of Louisiana is dead. The king of Mississippi is dead. Nan Flanagan is dead. Steve Newlin, the new Nan Flanagan, is dead. Bill is dead. Is there anyone left advocating for vampire rights? Because as Jessica and Hoyt’s rushed nuptials pointed out, their marriage is not recognized by the state of Louisiana.
Who was Steve Newlin’s maker? Could it have been Salome, as Michael McMillian told Vulture recently that it had once been written in a script, before the idea was scrapped? Or perhaps Pam, who revealed while she was turning Tara that she had made one other vampire before, but it didn’t exactly work out? All we know is that it was a woman, someone Steve didn’t recognize (so not Nan Flanagan), and it was a form of punishment. (Punishment for whom? The vampire, as it was for Bill when he had to make Jessica? Or punishment for Steve, for all his anti-vampire rights work?) Without Steve alive to recognize her, we may never know.
Who is the faceless guy Sookie ends up with? Seriously, who is the bearded baby-daddy and why was he allowed to sit at the head of the table?
Has no one in Bon Temps heard of condoms? Just saying.
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