The Voice Recap: Xtina Loves Burlesque

What a night! Adam looked exactly like Jason Schwartzman, the Sprint Skybox returned, and someone sang “Blurred Lines.” This was the best show since everyone stopped drinking.

Christina and Flo Rida, “How I Feel”
Christina always loves this weirdo burlesque staging when she sings songs that sound extremely contemporary. Remember “Lady Marmalade”? (“How could I forget??” you scream.) Unfortunately, despite the fact that she was wearing an entirely fishnet suit AND a hat, this vocal performance was not up to Xtina’s usual level. She sounded tired and pitchy at times. Flo Rida was good, though. I liked his suit.

Shelbie Z., “Fancy”
I think you can really tell Shelbie used to do child pageants, because she is adorable while singing like a Shirley Temple type. I was happy she got married and I thought she did a serviceable job on “Fancy.” It was possibly a little boring? But there is only so much country belting that one can listen to in a lifetime.

James Wolpert, “A Case of You”
James, James, James. There is a part of me that wants to root for James because the judges are obsessed with the “irony” of his appearance (please let me know if this is the wrong usage in the comments section). Yet, at the same time, I cannot root for him because he is always telling these busking stories! Why does he have to tell them? That is not a hard luck story. That is just a hipster story. My Lord. He was dynamic and really well-modulated on “A Case of You.” As of this morning, he is the winning single on iTunes, so I am out of step with humankind as per usual.

And then SOMETHING AMAZING HAPPENED. The Sprint Skybox reappeared! Out of the clear blue sky. Somehow, it didn’t seem as special with Carson reading tweets as it was when Christina Milian read them. It was a magical skybox then.

Nic Hawk, “Blurred Lines”
This was so fun. The singing needed work in patches, but Nic Hawk is a real entertainer, like a young Danny Kaye. Pro tip: I just listened to the studio version of this and it is really awesome. You have to download it and you will thank me.

Ray Boudreaux, “Home”
Does Ray remind anyone else of the older brother on Step by Step? I can’t stop thinking about this whenever he sings. This was kind of a cool song? I would prefer it if Ray tried to sing the new Justin Bieber song, “All That Matters,” next time (Thank you, Jody Rosen, for pointing me in THAT direction). “Home” was fine, but the man needs to try something new.

Austin Jenkes, “Talk to Angels”
I was pretty bored during this. It is probably a result of personal preference, as I really hate this type of music. I have never liked a song with the word angel in the title.

Gray, “Still Into You”
I don’t know about this Anthropologie performance. I thought this was a really tough song for her (and for anyone). You have to have a more flexible, easier tone than Gray does to truly pull off those runs. I hope Adam wasn’t secretly trying to sabotage her by giving her a song she can’t really sing. He does that sometimes before starring in the newest Wes Anderson movie.

Will Champlin, “Secrets”
Lord, I am a sucker for piano. This is probably because I listened to Ben Folds at very impressionable age. I thought Will did such a good job on this. He is really, really growing on me.

Preston Pohl, “Nothing on You”
Sometimes, I feel very divorced from the judges. They loved this performance from Preston, but I thought it was far too high for him and he was pitchy and straining on a lot of the notes. Did other people think Preston killed it? Or do the judges just feel like he was better than that performance and want him to go to the next round? A thought for us all to ponder.

Cole Vosbury, “Maggie May”
Cole is such a surprise to me. I always forget about him but whenever he performs. I think he has such a pretty voice. He did so well with “Maggie May,” which is a hard song many other “This Is The Voice” contestants have butchered. The iTunes voters also seem to love him, so perhaps he will go far.

Tessanne Chin, “Many Rivers To Cross”
I don’t know about you, but I thought this was AMAZING. She basically wiped the floor with everyone. Unbelievable tone, control, and pitch. UPDATE: She is not even RANKING on iTunes, so things are as they usually are.

And that’s our show. Can you guys start buying things on iTunes?