First, we must address our misspelling of Deena’s name in past recaps, for which we have been chastised by commenters. Our apologies to Deena and her family and loyal fans and defenders, but when recapping it’s late and our noggins are swollen with spray tans and swear words. Oh, and also: Who cares. She’s a sweet girl with a name that spell-check does not recognize and we don’t expect to bump into her at any spelling bees in the near future. Love, Mislissa and Paullie. And on an unrelated note: What does it say about the morals of the show if we feel the need to hide our Jersey Shore on TiVo when our nanny arrives in the morning, as if she’s caught us watching porn?
Drop your dictionaries and grab your power washers and your leopard-print street sweepers as we head to Meatball Park to hose down the dirtiest dozen of them all!
Ron and Pauly are kissing, Deena cheers to a good night, bitches! The episode ends with Situation talking to himself about who’s gonna be the bad guy … creeperoo!!! He’s like Glenn Close flicking the light on and off in Fatal Attraction. All we can do now is wait for next week when these kids cap off their Italy trip with a shopping spree at Prada, take in a nice museum visit, and finally learn to prepare bruschetta!
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`;
// integrate Sub(x) scripts and elements
if (hostname !== 'subs.nymag.com') { // do not integrate on this subdomain
document.head.appendChild(trackingScript);
document.body.insertAdjacentHTML('beforeend', subXAnimationElements);
}
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}, {"1":1,"4":4,"12":12,"124":124,"135":135}];
window.modules["aaa-module-mounting.legacy"] = [function(require,module,exports){"use strict";const _pickBy=require(221),_each=require(406),Fingerprint2=require(408),DS=require(407),Eventify=require(246);function registerGlobals(){window.DS=DS,window.Eventify=Eventify,window.Fingerprint2=Fingerprint2,DS.value("Eventify",Eventify),DS.value("Fingerprint2",Fingerprint2),DS.value("$document",window.document),DS.value("$window",window)}function mountDollarSliceComponents(){DS.service("components",["$document","$module",function(e,n){var o=_pickBy(n.definitions,e=>e.providerStrategy===n.providers.controller),r=Object.keys(o);function t(e){return o=>{try{n.get(e,o)}catch(e){logMountError(o,e)}}}_each(r,n=>{var o=e.querySelectorAll('[data-uri*="/_components/'+n+'/"]'),r=e.querySelectorAll('[data-uri$="/_components/'+n+'"]');_each(o,t(n)),_each(r,t(n))}),this.components=r}]),DS.get("components")}function logMountError(e,n){const o=e.outerHTML.slice(0,e.outerHTML.indexOf(e.innerHTML));console.error("Error attaching controller to "+o,n)}registerGlobals(),"loading"===document.readyState?document.addEventListener("DOMContentLoaded",()=>{mountDollarSliceComponents()}):mountDollarSliceComponents();
}, {"221":221,"246":246,"406":406,"407":407,"408":408}];
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}, {"107":107,"114":114,"118":118,"124":124,"182":182,"205":205,"268":268,"274":274,"406":406,"409":409}];
window.modules["cid.legacy"] = [function(require,module,exports){"use strict";DS.service("$cid",function(){var r=Math.floor(100*Math.random());return function(){return"cid-"+ ++r}});
}, {}];
window.modules["client.legacy"] = [function(require,module,exports){"use strict";require("cid.legacy"),require("ads.legacy"),require("facebook.legacy"),require("aaa-module-mounting.legacy");
}, {"cid.legacy":"cid.legacy","ads.legacy":"ads.legacy","facebook.legacy":"facebook.legacy","aaa-module-mounting.legacy":"aaa-module-mounting.legacy"}];
window.modules["facebook.legacy"] = [function(require,module,exports){"use strict";DS.service("facebook",[function(){this.fb=function(i){window.FB&&window.FB[i].apply(this,Array.prototype.slice.call(arguments,1))}}]);
}, {}];
require=(function e(t,n,r){function s(o,u){if(!n[o]){if(!t[o]){var a=typeof require=="function"&&require;if(!u&&a)return a(o,!0);if(i)return i(o,!0);var f=new Error("Cannot find module '"+o+"'");throw f.code="MODULE_NOT_FOUND",f}var l=n[o]={exports:{}};t[o][0].call(l.exports,function(e){var n=t[o][1][e];return s(n?n:e)},l,l.exports,e,t,n,r)}return n[o].exports}var i=typeof require=="function"&&require;for(var o=0;o typeof key === 'string' && key.match(/\.legacy$/)).forEach(key => window.require(key));
}
function tryToMount(fn, el, name) {
try {
fn(el); // init the controller
} catch (e) {
const elementTag = el.outerHTML.slice(0, el.outerHTML.indexOf(el.innerHTML));
console.error(`Error initializing controller for "${name}" on "${elementTag}"`, e);
}
}
/**
* mount client.js component controllers
*/
function mountComponentModules() {
Object.keys(window.modules).filter(key => typeof key === 'string' && key.match(/\.client$/)).forEach(key => {
let controllerFn = window.require(key);
if (typeof controllerFn === 'function') {
const name = key.replace('.client', ''),
instancesSelector = `[data-uri*="_components/${name}/"]`,
defaultSelector = `[data-uri$="_components${name}"]`,
instances = document.querySelectorAll(instancesSelector),
defaults = document.querySelectorAll(defaultSelector);
for (let el of instances) {
tryToMount(controllerFn, el, name);
}
for (let el of defaults) {
tryToMount(controllerFn, el, name);
}
}
});
}
// Make sure that a `window.process.env.NODE_ENV` is available in the client for any dependencies,
// services, or components that could require it
// note: the `` value is swapped for the actual environment variable in /lib/cmd/compile/scripts.js
window.process = window.process || {};
window.process.env = window.process.env || {};
if (!window.process.env.NODE_ENV) {
window.process.env.NODE_ENV = '';
}
// note: legacy controllers that require legacy services (e.g. dollar-slice) must
// wait for DOMContentLoaded to initialize themselves, as the files themselves must be mounted first
mountLegacyServices();
mountComponentModules();
// ]]