DEAR DEIDRE
I’ve started seeing my ex again – I know he loves me but he can’t leave his wife
I was moving on with my life and thoughts of him lessened
DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE been snared again by my married ex after a chance meeting.
It was such a surprise to see him at the bash on New Year’s Eve that I didn’t have a chance to get my head straight.
We partied the night away and then ended up having passionate sex, just like old times.
Meeting him for the first time through a dating app two years ago, I thought he was the man of my dreams. He was handsome and so sweet. I fell madly in love with him.
Within a matter of months things started to get more serious. I’m 27 and he’s 33.
But then I discovered on social media that he was married and had a three-year-old son. I was devastated and burst into tears.
It felt as if my world had come crashing down but when we next met up I stayed calm and told him what I knew, letting him explain.
He told me he’d been with his wife for six years. He said his marriage was up and down but if he were to leave her she would move back to where her parents live, which is 200 miles away from him.
He said he would then lose contact with his son and he knew his family would disown him.
He was very upset and I didn’t doubt for a second that he was being honest with me.
We decided to split up and, even though it was heartbreaking, I managed to get through it.
I was moving on with my life and thoughts of him lessened. Now the chance meeting at the party has started everything up again. We’ve been seeing each other again.
Dear Deidre: Understanding open relationships
I love him and I know he loves me but he can’t leave his wife and I definitely do not want to share him. I don’t know where we go from here.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: He may genuinely love you but it’s clear he isn’t going to leave his wife or break up his family.
It’s true to say that he may never be ready and certainly not while he can have the best of both worlds.
In your heart you know this relationship has no future and he is not going to commit to you.
You deserve much better than this so tell him it is over, that you can’t see him again and be sure to stick to it.
Shed your tears over him but then move on. You have done it once and you can do it again.
My support pack Your Lover Not Free explains more about the pitfalls of having affairs.
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