I Lost My House. My Kid’s School Burned Down. Now What?

When Amber Feld and her 6-year-old son, Alex, evacuated their apartment on Tuesday shortly after the Pacific Palisades wildfire began, she was sure they’d return home later that night. She was able to come back to the neighborhood on Thursday, where she found that the fire, now the worst in Los Angeles’s history, destroyed the building her family lived in as well as all of their belongings (with the exception of her car). Marquez Charter Elementary School, where Alex attended first grade, is also gone, along with many of his classmates’ homes. Now, as several fires continue to burn across the city, killing at least ten people and destroying thousands of buildings, the 46-year-old publicist is just starting to figure out how she and her son will rebuild. Feld spoke with the Cut about the chaotic evacuation, the financial impact of the disaster, and the outpouring of help she’s received amid the devastation.

Can you tell me about your neighborhood? What brought you there?

I moved to L.A. in 2007. I lived in Venice for 12 years and moved to Palisades in August 2023, before Alex started kindergarten. The neighborhood is multigenerational; the school, the sports, and the community feel like a small town. I really had that cozy feeling. Over the past year and a half, we found so many favorite places. They all knew Alex at Blue Ribbon Sushi in the Village. He had his favorite sushi chef, he knew where to get the kids’ chopsticks out of the drawer. There was Ronnie’s Liquor, which is like a New York–style bodega that still had the newspapers and magazines out. All the kids were in there, and the guys that ran it knew everyone. Alex became obsessed with buying lottery tickets there, and they all joked, because due to the law, I have to hand the guy the money and he has to hand me the ticket.

Where we lived was basically two small four-unit apartment buildings that were mirrored. My landlord’s parents had immigrated and bought them; she’s in her 70s, but she raised her kids there and her sister still lived there. I rented, and it was the most perfect apartment for my son and I. It was technically a one-bedroom, but I had a little New York flair in me and made it a one-bedroom flex. The dining room was perfect to put up a fake wall for Alex’s bedroom. People aren’t really fans of carpet, and neither am I, but there’s carpet and it made it quiet. Alex could jump, he could run. You could never hear anyone.

How did you learn about the fire? Did you think it could have gotten as bad as it did?

I dropped Alex off at school at 8 a.m. on Tuesday morning. I came back and had three Zoom meetings, the last with a fancier person. My mom passed away unexpectedly on December 3, and because of that third meeting, I put on the pearl necklace that I had got from her. As I’m talking on the Zoom, there’s fire trucks going by because I’m right on Sunset Boulevard. I didn’t think too much about it. When I got off the call around 11:15 a.m., I looked at my phone and there’s 47 messages on the parents’ chat. They say there’s a fire, and people started picking up their kids. I saw the traffic was backed up, so I decided to walk to Alex’s school. It’s about three-quarters of a mile.

My friend had gotten there earlier, and she was sitting with Alex. The evacuation buses had already arrived, and his class was being loaded onto the bus. We could see structures and houses burning from the schoolyard, so I grabbed him before he got on the bus, took a picture of it so that I could let the parents’ chat know what it looked like, and then we walked back home. My son grabbed two stuffies and his iPad. I grabbed my computer, toothbrush, and a bottle of water. I thought we were coming back that night, so I left everything else. I left my pictures, anything from my mom, who just passed away. Notes, cards, Alex’s artwork. Everything was left behind.

I called my friend that lived in the Village and was like, “I’m going to walk to you right now.” We walked into the Village to Alphabet Street, and we’re at my friend’s house for about 20 minutes watching TV and discussing this situation. Then this fire started bearing down. We went outside, and I’m videoing the fire. I’m like, “There’s flames two streets over. We got to get out of here.” We left and stayed at her friend’s friend’s house in Beverly Hills the first night. I got a picture of my place burning down on Wednesday; I only know one classmate of Alex’s right now whose house was still standing as of Thursday night. All the rest have burned down or they’re unsure. The school is dust as well.

This is such a terrifying thing for an adult, and I can’t imagine how it is for your 6-year-old. How is he handling the situation? How are you talking with him about everything that’s happened?

When my mom passed away, I took his two stuffed animals and we had a conversation about it after school. Those were the two stuffed animals that he took with him, and then I had to have the same conversation this week. He is sad, will perk up, and then will remember. Yesterday, someone brought him Pokémon cards, which he was really happy about. But then he started crying because he realized all the Pokémon cards he doesn’t have. He’s in and out, and I am too.

Now that his school is gone, what will happen next with his education?

I can’t imagine when we go back to school, whenever that is. I am probably going to stand outside the entire first day. I can’t imagine people are just going to be like, “Okay, I’m going to drop my kid off now,” and then leave. I talked to his teacher, and they will try to keep the class together. Obviously, some people will relocate to Santa Barbara, Palm Springs, wherever. But they’re going to give the option to keep the kids together. People have said to me, “Oh, why don’t you just come to Phoenix or New York?” I don’t want to go because none of those kids went through this.

Have you gone back to your apartment?

Yes. I called the insurance adjuster Thursday morning and was going to try and go into Palisades to take pictures of my car to start my claim. My friend and I were able to get into the neighborhood. Going back was shocking; there would be a house still standing and then another collapsed. The building next to us was engulfed. There’s tons of firemen right there. I went around the back, and the detached garage was intact. My friend and I ripped the garage door off because there’s no electricity — well, my friend, really; she was the muscle. I was able to get my car out. I didn’t realize how smoked out it was. I took it to the car wash, and now I’m just airing it out in my friend’s garage.

Where are you sheltering now? What’s next for you and Alex in terms of finding housing?

I’m staying with my friend in Venice, around the corner from where I used to live. I’m waiting to see what happens at the school. I want to be in a temporary place for at least the remainder of the school year and then in the summer sort something permanent out. It’s going to take a while.

What is the financial impact of all this on your family?

I had a lovely life in that apartment. But compared to the rest of Pali, I didn’t lose a house with tons of furniture and jewelry. I lost more personal things, but it just adds up. My college friends made me a GoFundMe, and at first I resisted it. I didn’t want to ask for help. Everyone’s asking! But that night I started adding up numbers in my head. I went to Target to get a suitcase, and the cheapest one was $179. We need clothes. When we move into a place, even a cheaper couch costs like $2,000. I had a desktop computer for work, and that’s like another $2,000. It’s hard to accept help, but I’m super-grateful. I am shocked to see people that I met at a hotel once donating, my old friends from all over, my friends’ friends. Anonymous people — I don’t even know how to thank them! I’m floored.

What has been the hardest part of experiencing this disaster? 

Losing my mom’s stuff and anything from my grandparents. It’s all my childhood pictures. And then my son’s artwork. All that adds on to the grief.

This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.