Cogeco cable to be precise. I know you're thinking you don't know what Cogeco is so you don't care about this post. Maybe you'll skip it to read another blog about how to make steaks or muffins or replacement heart valves out of cauliflower.
But even though we might not have the exact same television cable provider, we all have the shared experience of crying at least once in our lifetime during, before or after talking to one of their representatives on the telephone.
Actually, if you really don't care about cable companies you can go head over to my curried cauliflower soup post.
In late August I was working in my office, probably spending too much time trying to Photoshop Mrs. Garrett into a photo with myself.
I turned the television on for a second to see what was going on in the world before I took Philip for a lunchtime walk.
The news didn't come on, the television didn't work. So I did all the things you do. I turned the tv off and on again, I stuck my hand through a blanket of cobwebs around the back and wiggled the cables, I stared at the modem, and then the router. I reset them both and then I turned the television on again.
Looking into the screen all I could see was my own reflection staring back at myself.
At this point I wasn't concerned because it was probably just an outage. Maybe a squirrel ran across a line or a repairman accidentally did something they weren't supposed to do but was going to fix it within the next 20-30 minutes.
Also I wasn't concerned because I hadn't realized that my Internet wasn't working either.
People who have a family that they live with have mothers, brothers, fathers, sisters and more in their house. People who live alone have cable and Internet.
You take away those - you take away our family.
It's our noise and conversations and music and EVERYTHING. I use the Internet at least 8 hours a day for work, to watch television shows, movies, listen to music, talk to Google, take down my grocery list, remind me to go to the dentist and help find pictures of Mrs. Garrett.
The second I realized my cable AND Internet were gone I quickly checked to make sure I still had toilet paper (tragedies always appear in 3s) and ran for the phone.
I called Cogeco (the cable company) and trying very much to sound in control, asked them if there was an outage in my area?
- No ma'am. There are no outages, but I can see 2 of your neighbours have called in to say they're having trouble.
So there's an outage.
-No ma'am. We can't consider it an outage and report it unless 4 people call us about it.
What if no one else calls? Am I just going to be cableless - forever? Will I have to perform puppet shows for myself? How is this going to work???
-Ma'am?
Um ... listen, I don't mean to go all Soprano on you, but you've kidnapped my entire family and I'm not feeling good about it. How are we going to fix this?
-Have you tried to re...
YESSS.
-O.K., well, this is a bit unusual with both your television cable and Internet going out. Let me make some calls and I'll phone you back.
O.K., that would be great. Sorry about the veiled threat. Could you just send me a picture of the last episode of The Handmaid's Tale so I know they're O.K.?
I hung up and finally took Philip for his walk. Obviously an hour later when I returned home I expected to walk into a house full of life. The Facts of Life specifically.
Still no service. Still no call.
After a walk around the neighbourhood, two conversations and 1 unexpected text message I was prompted to look up, up, way up.
Just a story and a half actually, so really not so far up.
There, near my roofline, on the left side of my house was a very definite messy looking mechanical bit. I turned my body 90° to look in the opposite direction.
I missed it at first but then I saw it. My television cable half stuck in a tree and half dangling down in the middle of the road.
Word on the street is that a truck drove down the road, caught my cable and ripped it right off of my house.
EXCELLENT. I now had an obvious reason as to why my cable was out.
I called the cable company immediately and they were appropriately alarmed and concerned. A live wire?! Hanging right in the street?? They were going to send someone out to fix it. It *could* be within a couple of hours.
I reminded them that there was this live wire just hanging down from the sky in front of windshields, like an anemic drive through car wash.
They told me not to touch the cable so I didn't. But then my neighbour drove into it. So he very much did touch it when he hopped out of his car and threw it across the street onto the sidewalk.
Hours went by without anyone coming to fix it.
I sat in the dark looking out the window and down the street until 10 p.m. waiting for the cable van that never showed up. I was in the dark because even though my electricity was working, I turned the lights off to emphasize my state of patheticness. . Sad, alone, unable to connect with the world in any meaningful way unless I used my cell phone data.
Lights blinked on in the neighbourhood all around me. The blue glow and flicker of my lost loved ones spilling out of every house.
It was a damn shame.
The next afternoon when still no one showed up I called Cogeco back. They were so sorry about what happened. A live wire dangling from a tree you say! How awful.
Someone might even be out to fix it by the end of the day. Friday at the latest. But maybe even by the end of the day.
This scene repeated for 5 days with me having to repeat my name, phone number, address, blood type, account number, secret number password and how can they help me at least 3 times per phone call.
My demeanour was quite dark by day 4.
On day 5 a very nice worker rolled down the street in a Cogeco Cable ambulance.
Even though I didn't actually care how he was because I was in mourning, we said our pleasantries. For a full 3 minutes I appeared to be perfectly cordial even though I just wanted him to slingshot himself onto my roof and immediately fix my cable.
At 3 and a half minutes my face froze into a horror gasp.
Oops. He wasn't going to be able to fix my cable today even though I was standing there and he was standing there and he had a van filled with equipment to fix it and he went to school for it and everything.
He couldn't do it because there needed to be an official traffic stopper in case my street was suddenly converted into a superhighway in the next 15 minutes.
I asked if I could be the traffic stopper. I said I'm small but I can be freakishly assertive and really, it's not a terribly busy street.
I was willing at this point to risk my life to get the Internet back. More telling was the fact I was also willing to wear an orange vest and a hard hat.
Obviously they weren't going to allow me to do that due to insurance reasons so he'd have to call for backup. Just a few more minutes.
- Sorry ma'am no one else is around to help. I'm really sorry but I'm going to have to make a call and schedule you in for another day.
As luck would have it, this particular worker could see me break right in front of him.
He went back to his truck for quite a while then came back to tell me he found a worker having his lunch at a coffee shop down the street.
He was a qualified traffic stopper and would be right over. Sure enough, a few minutes later the certified traffic stopper hopped out of his van with an outhouse sized to-go coffee cup and plunked himself on the curb.
They brought in the professionals. I was an important customer.
By the end of the day I had cable.
By the end of the week I had a new cable provider: Bell. Cogeco's only competition. And therefore, with only 2 providers in my area, no competition at all really.
This is just the bare minimum of my Cogeco cable story. A company I've been with and forgiven for a multitude of issues and mistakes over the past 20 years.
A week after getting used to my new cable provider I called Cogeco.
I had it all played out in my head. I would call Cogeco and announce that after 20 years with them I wanted to cancel my service. They would offer me a discount to stay and I would say NO! You should have offered me better service! OR a discount after say, a decade of being a loyal customer.
This is what happened:
Hello Cogeco?
- Can I get your name please?
I very calmly tell her all the information I've told other Cogeco employees so often over the past week that I can say it before they even ask for it. Then I tell her I am cancelling their service.
This is where they're going to beg me to stay. I can't wait.
- And why are you leaving Cogeco today?
For all of the reasons. Whatever your little book there says is a reason I'm might be leaving I'm leaving for all of those reasons; price, service, archaic technology, misrepresentation, just cause I feel like it, your company logo colours are ugly, I don't like your commercials, my 87 year old mother who also uses your service and can't remember to drink water even though I remind her twice a day HAS YOUR PHONE NUMBER MEMORIZED because she has to call you so often.
Also, a truck drove past my house, ripped the cable right off of it and it took you 5 days to fix it.
- It's not our fault a truck ripped the cable off your house you know.
I'd really just like to cancel please. I already have another provider.
- I could have given you a huge discount if you hadn't already signed up with another company.
I said nothing. But I'm sure she heard my rapid blinking.
You can sense this story is wrapping up right now can't you? You're looking at your watch or savouring the last sentences.
It's not the end of the story.
Today is November 10th. Almost 2 and a half months since the dangling cable, and 2 months since I cancelled my contract with the help of their outstanding customer service representative "It's not our fault a truck ripped the cable off of your house, you know."
Before hanging up "It's not our fault a truck ripped the cable off of your house, you know." told me I should be made aware that the cable company I had replaced Cogeco with had terrible customer service.
Then she hung up.
And didn't cancel my service.
Up until this morning, 2 months after cancelling I was still being billed and the money was being automatically withdrawn from my account. On coffee number 2, I went through 2 phone representatives and 1 supervisor before I was convinced my service had actually been cancelled and my money refunded.
As we really do come to the end of this story the lesson I want you to take from this is that cauliflowers can do a lot of things, but unlike television or the Internet, they'll never be one of the family.
Anne Hogan
I've been with Cogeco for decades now - after a terrible time with Bell. Luckily I haven't had any issues at all and when I do phone in (when I see a price break) then they are more than happy to accommodate. As you say - the only other option around here is Bell. They come and knock on my door every once in a while but I'll stick with Cogeco until the truck rips down the line to the house (or it's taken out in an ice storm). I hope you don't have any issues with Bell (aka Hell).
Karen
Oh I'm sure I'll have problems with them.😆 ~ karen!
Anne Grawcock
I thought for certain it was going to go like this... a neighbor later asked about your cable only to tell you they saw a BELL truck hit your cable line and pull it off your house! That would have been perfect!
Karen
That would have been perfect, lol. But no. Just a random truck. ~ karen!
TucsonPatty
I think the last time I spent a month one day talking to several people, I did indeed end up in tears of frustration. I think it was pretty much 8 hours of talking on what ended up being 7 different phone calls. It did get taken care of, but how can one thing have so many different explanations. The final person did know how to fix whatever it was, but those other people that didn’t know? Why didn’t they just say that they didn’t know, and allow me to speak to someone who knew how to help!? I cut my cable about 10 years ago, and have the indoor antennae up in the window. I watch mostly YouTube, Netflix and Hulu and almost never TV. My internet is Xfinity, and is mostly pretty okay. Damning with faint praise, that is! 😂 You’re correct, Karen - we all have our own stories! Sheesh.
Kat - the other 1
That reminds me of my last cell phone.
It would not receive pictures no matter what. For at least a year or more I repeatedly chatted online and called to talk with "help." No help, at all.
Finally!, I sorta just accidentally got help from one of them while calling about another issue! And it was so simple! Why didn't anybody know??
Oh well.
DoIHaveTo?
The ONLY company that provides internet in our area is spectrum.
Constantly drops. Horrible. But nobody cares about bringing internet into the sticks. Apparently only city people need internet access. :/
Since the second guy came and replaced some little doodad that he said the first guy didn't install right, it mostly, but not always, works , sorta.
We only use whatever local tv we can get. They keep trying to get us to sign up for cable with them. Mom's reply? "You can't even keep the internet on!
I am NOT trusting you with our TV!!!"
Lol!
Only once did I ever use automatic payments for something. Big mistake. They started taking $ they shouldn't. I tried calling. All three #'s they gave me went nowhere (helpful). I had to go through my bank and have them cancel the automatic payments. Oy! Was horrible, never again!
Now I just keep a bill diary of what's due and when.
Lynn
Oh I know exactly how you felt Karen.
Rural Alberta…. Well anywhere outside major city really we are
(A lucky to get even two competitors
(B we never get the service, even if they tell a date and time you are luck if they show
(C we never get the deals either cost/ actually get better program
It doesn’t matter cable/ internet/ landline or mobile, I did learn one thing an that is do not put them together. If you do you are hooped as you got know way to contact them!
They will say otherwise do not believe them. It happened twice to us. Then we spit things up.
Debbie
They are all unfortunate necessary evils. I refer to Comcast, Xfinity, etc., as the "EVIL ONES!" That being said, I love my Dish! Have been with it for over 20 years and will never go back to the EVIL ONES!
Jane
We were with Bell for 3 decades, put up with their "We're the Phone Company and we don't care" attitude until we're so fed up we finally quit. Now we're with Rogers, a company we gave up on for TV years ago because of poor customer service. Interestingly, Rogers' internet customer service is excellent. Who knew!
Robyn
Are you certain your service has been disconnected and you have your refund? Are you positive? I have worked for both Bell and Rogers and they are both horrible to work for,ask too much from their representatives and care nothing about customers. It's not the agents that are the issue, it's the systems they are working with. Archaic and discombobulated so the staff turnover is intense. Unfortunately Internet is a necessary evil. I love the way you write,keep up the great work !
Karen
This post strikes fear in my heart! It would be terrible if this happened to me. If it happened to my mom..... can't even think about it. Still with Cogeco for now!
Kippy
Ours is with the almost monopoly u.s. company. To call customer service gives me a migraine and stomach cramps as almost always the offshore rep is overly solicitous and keeps interrupting me to let me know how long I’ve been a customer and thanking me. They apparently have a script that their subcontracting company demands they adhere to. They thank me every other sentence. I’m of the hurry up, answer my questions please and no small talk type when it comes to service calls. U.S. reps for same company are great in comparison and the calls are done in half the time.Oh and their AI chat thing never comprehends the most basic question and repeatedly asks for it to be worded differently. To use the word intelligence to describe this option seems ridiculous. Also they want me to sign up for the cell phone plan. No. How would one notify them of a problem if all communication power goes down? Yes, you hit a nerve with this post!
Vicky Smith
All cable and internet suppliers are rude, crude and shouldn't exist. But I can't live without my internet. We have 5 or 6 choices where I live (Michigan) and they all suck.
Jody
Your story sucks and it is a familiar one. We switched away from Cogeco almost 2 years ago and are happy with Bell. I hope there are Cogeco reps following you and report back to their supervisors.
Donna R
When you said up, up, way up the Friendly Giant popped into my head. He certainly would have given you better service than you didn’t receive.
Karen
That's exactly what I was referencing Donna. :) ~ karen!
Dave R
I'm with Slowgeco too. At home and at work. I don't really recall any major issues at home, but for sure when it's a business account and there's a problem, they fix it ASAP. I think they care (a bit) more when there is a disruption to a business. My internet, POS terminal, and my phone are all through Cogeco, so an outage really screws me over.
My business used to be with Bell, but the charges were absurd and dealing with their customer service reps was a nightmare.
CathyR
I’m beyond thrilled I ditched cable. Retirees have more time to spend on the phone with these jackals but not money ( at least not this retiree. And what money I did save up likes to ride the stock market roller coaster.🤯)
So I have internet, stream a bit and mostly watch funny shows like Corner Gas albeit 6 yrs later.
TucsonPatty
I first read the “POS” to be “Piece of S**t” and not “Point of Service”. 😂😂 probably same difference, eh?
jan
I don't have a comment on cable except that I think all cable companies are not-so-secretly run by the Devil. Oh, I guess I did have a comment. But my real comment is that I love all your posts, you are brilliantly funny, and you make my day. Thank you!
Christine Hilton
Ha! We just cancelled our internet service with Bell because we felt 17 days was long enough to be losing our connection every other hour without them fixing it.They are overselling and don't have the equipment to provide what they are promising.My husband is a retired Bell tech so we had employee discount and we still left.lt is that bad.Cogeco may give you a better deal when you go back though.
You can and should report this to the CRTC.
Good luck.
Dave R
A friend of mine is the assistant to a Bell bigwig.
He also doesn't use Bell, despite it being pretty much free for him..
He knows.
When I was with Bell ages ago and encountered problems that nobody else cared to address, I'd call my friend and he made stuff happen.
Amanda
Don't even with me and Cogeco. They cut the underground cable out front and when we asked when they were gong to fix it they said -It's really expensive to do that. We'll just connect you to your neighbour's line until it can be fixed. - So now we are with Bell, which sucks in it's own special way...
Librarian Nancy
Anybody with cable has a horror story to tell. Where I live in the Chicago area, Comcast/Xfinity is the only game in town. Their customer service reps have gotten a little better - at least they don’t scream at you anymore. A typical call used to go like this:
Me: ( after waiting on hold 20 minutes) hello, I have a question about-
Rep: I can’t help you with that, you have to call someone else.
Me: can you at least wait until I tell you what the problem is? My internet is not working.
Rep: (screaming) I told you, I. CAN’T. HELP. YOU! (Phone slams down)
I am not kidding. This happened more than once. Xfinity has apparently retrained their customer service staff so they don’t scream, now they’re all “oh, I feel your pain,” but they still don’t help you. Really frustrating considering how expensive cable service is.
Suzanne Herbruck
Have you looked into streaming with Apple TV(just a box from tech store). Need internet only. Not seamless but beats cable by 1000%.
Cheryl in Charlottesville
I miss the good old days when you plugged your black and white tv into the wall, positioned your rabbit ear antennas and watched the 3 channels — which was all you needed in the 50’s and 60’s.
Chris W.
Our installer and also the person who came to the house and sold us our service both gave us their personal phone numbers!!! How cool was that? We had to reach our to them two times when we first got the service and they immediately called back to address the issue. We were really impressed with them. Our service is through Spectrum - I think that used to be Comcast - not quite sure. When we had to cancel our previous service with Direst TV, a true nightmare. Told them we were moving out of the country and that actually sped up the process but still had to wait for 3-4 months for the stupid refund.