Several years ago I made what can only be described as a suspicious sandwich. I was a teenager and still living with my parents at the time. At this not so shining moment in my culinary history, my mother wasn't at home to tell me not to do what I was about to do. So I did do it. I made and ate a sandwich comprised of mouldy bread, mouldy cheese, rusty lettuce and slightly greenish processed meat. It was all I could find in the fridge and I did cut off all of the really furry bits. In my defense I was quite hungry.
If you're looking for a really good sandwich, check this one out. It's my favourite.
And if I'm going to be perfectly honest, my mother Betty probably wouldn't have thought twice about the sandwich. She's pretty much convinced anything can be eaten and nothing goes bad. She's like a goat that woman. Conversations growing up went something like this. Karen: Mom ... I think this blue cheese is expired, it's getting kind of runny. Mom: Oh ... it's fine, that's not blue cheese anyway, it's a peach. It's still loads of bonding fun for my sisters and I to go around my mom's kitchen laughing hysterically at the expiry decades on everything. Don't accept a glass of Creme de Menthe if my mom ever offers it to you, by the way. 1972.
So where am I going with all of this? Well, I've been cursed with rotten food again. And it's all the fault of my stupid fridge instead of my stupid self. You see, I have one of those refrigerators with the freezer on the bottom, that were fancy about 10 years ago. You know ... the kind you have to press your face onto the kitchen floor to get the ice cube tray out of. Yeah .... one of those.
Well the other problem with having the freezer directly below the fridge is that everything in the crisper drawers freeze. I open the crisper drawer vents and everything freezes. I close the vents and everything freezes. I tried every combination in between and still ... everything would freeze solid! The rest of my fridge is always completely full so I had nowhere else to put the fruit and vegetables. Those poor oranges made it through the freeze in Florida only to be killed by my murdering crisper.
The next bit of information I am about to give you is to be held in complete confidence because it is both embarrassing and stressful. Once I say it, we are never to mention it again for the sake of my mental health.
I estimate I wasted about $10 worth of produce a week with this crisper problem. That works out to $520 a year, which is bad. But not nearly as bad as the $6,240 over the lifetime of that STUPID, STINKING, MONEY SUCKING, LETTUCE FREEZING FRIDGE! Now do that twisty motion at your pursed mouth and throw away the key.
I came up with a solution. It took me over a decade but I did it. And in case you too are losing thousands of dollars in frozen celery, here it is:
Materials:
Styrofoam-type insulation - $7.50 (I bought a broken piece from a hardware store but you could try to use regular packing styrofoam. I like to do things in the extreme)
X-Acto Knife
Measuring Tape
1.
Take everything out of your crispers and clean them. Yes. These are clean. A little smudgy maybe, but clean. Cleaner than they were anyway.
2.
Measure the bottom and back of your drawer. Mine measured 11.25" X 8.25" and 11.25" X 5.25". In case you were wondering.
3.
Measure and cut your styrofoam. Obviously I cut my 2 pieces to be 11.25 X 8.25 and 11.25 X 5.25. Duh. Use your X-Acto knife for this. Just score the board and then snap it. You'll get the cleanest cuts this way. Cutting lengthwise your cuts will be perfect. Cutting horizontally, across the grain the cuts will look rougher. You can try sawing with the X-Acto knife for the horizontal cuts if the snapping thing is making too messy of a break.
4.
Stick your cut pieces into the bottom and back of the drawer. See where this is going now? The insulation prevents the super-cold radiating from the freezer below from freezing the food in your crisper. I know! I was pretty impressed with myself when I thought of this. After 12 years. Is it pretty? Not so very much, but neither is a frozen solid leek 4 minutes before you're about to make soup.
5.
As long as your first 2 pieces fit, use them as a pattern to cut the pieces for your other crisper drawer.
6.
Pink insulation board isn't supposed to be toxic, but neither was thalidomide so I cover it with waxed paper just in case. Just change it out once it starts to get gross. How often this is depends on how much tolerance you have to slimy things at the bottom of your crisper drawer.
7.
Load the crispers back up and stick them back in the fridge. (am I oversimplifying here?)
I discovered this solution about 6 months ago and I haven't frozen anything since. Now the only vegetables I throw out are the ones that rot naturally over a reasonable period of time. Unless my mother wants them.
Marcia
The crisper drawer in our refrigerator at our cabin does the same thing. The previous refrigerator also loved to freeze lettuce and tomatoes and green onions, etc. I bought the new fridge in spite of the various reviews that warned of the freezing problem and sure enough...frozen produce. I'm trying this. You might be a genius!
T. Harvey
This is HILARIOUS and informative. Thank you so much!
Karen
I hope it helps! ~ karen
Rachel
Be even more frugal. Make styrofoam panels from take out containers that you cannot recycle and a piece of contact paper. Cut the contact paper to size. Stick the foam panels on to the contact paper to cover. Place contact paper side up, in the drawer.
Michelle
Great suggestion. Appreciate your humor😃
Kim W
I have just moved into an apartment with this kind of refrigerator and this is literally the first response Google gave me and OH MY GOD GENIUS YES THANK YOU.
Cecilia Petrowsky
We have been having this crisper problem for a number of years and I finally decided enough was enough and decided to do some research on our Amana (freezer on the bottom). While doing so, I came across many many posts about this problem and the solutions were all above my pay grade (and expensive). Then I found this genius blog. We didn't have any insulation laying around but I did have a roll of "EasyLiner" which is a heavy duty plastic used for lining shelves. I decided to try it without much optimism because it's not thick like insulation. I figured if it didn't work, I could try doubling it up. Well, no need, because OMG, it worked!!! I put a thermometer in the crisper before lining it and it was 31 degrees. A few hours after lining it, it was 36 degrees. You are a genius!! How satisfying it must be to still be helping people after more than a decade.
Karen
That's great! I never would have thought just some shelf liner would have insulated it that much! ~ karen
Anne Frick
Greetings from England! this has made my day! having exactly the same problem, have closed off the holes but if that doesn't work will try styrofoam.
Karen
Good luck! These bottom freezers really weren't well thought out. ~ karen!
Susam
Years later and your post is still saving the lives of countless heads of lettuce. Ive been dealing with this issue for years!
Btw your article is absolutely hilarious!❤👌
Cindy
I moved into a rental house this past spring. Brand, spanking new KitchenAid refrigerator with freezer on the bottom was delivered to the house by the landlord. I have never had this type of refrigerator before. I have now experienced the disappointment of purchasing a ready-made salad, taken it to work, and then discovered that the lettuce had been frozen. Blech! All the lettuce and celery I purchase is succumbing to the same fate. I am going to try this idea and see if I can get some relief from the lettuce wars. Thank you for posting.
Shirley
I’m guilty of letting my vegetables freeze in the crisper for far too long too... and never realized it was because of the freezer below! Thanks so much for this!
Joan Kafcas
Just wanted to thank you. Finally can leave my lettuce with out it freezing.
Karen
Excellent! Happy to help. ~ karen!
Mary
Embarrassed to admit my vegetables have been freezing for more than 6 months before it occurred to me to Google a solution. Thankfully, your post is still there. I added styrofoam last weekend, and no more frozen veggies. Way cheaper than a new frig. Thanks very much for the time & effort you went to to document this trick.
Pauline
I have been living is the OMG, my vegetables are freezing again. Having to store them here and there on the shelves. Your fix worked, I had some thinner white styro foam left over from another project. It worked! I no longer have frozen vegetables in the refrigerator. I am writing to say THANK YOU!
Meris Robison
Karen, have a small European frig. Checked the internet for solutions to my frozen mushrooms. I like your idea, it’s also a method of re-utilizing the everlasting styro. You began this post in 2010 right? When are the manufacturers going to rectify this problem? I am like my mom, I complain about other kitchen features this way, “A man must have invented this.” However, lots of men cook and lots of women are engineers these days so, new saying, “no one should invent or design anything n the kitchen unless they have cleaned, cooked, baked, stocked, etc.” Keep spreading the word that a new dimension needs conquering in crisper, crispers. But not due to ice.
Karen
Hi Meris! I ended up getting a new refrigerator. It's only a refrigerator. NO freezer. I got a separate freezer which I keep in another room. Finally the only thing that freezes is the frozen food. ;) Nothing is made very well anymore. I sound like an old person, lol. ~ karen!
norbs
Oh you clever woman! I completely properly defrosted my fridge-freezer (supposedly fridge on top, freezer on the bottom but someone must have forgotten to tell the salad / crisper drawers that) & it still turned the celery into sorbet sticks (yeuch) & the cucumber into a lethal weapon. I'm going to rescue some Styrofoam I threw out this morning - the co-incidence of finding your blog on the same day means it was meant to happen. V grateful. You're a star.
Karen
Good luck! ~ karen
norbs
Yayyy! Ok, there's a bit of a styrofoam snowstorm in my kitchen to contrast nicely with the blue skies outside, but my salad drawers are now useable! Styrofoam cut (& snowstorm created), I covered it in kitchen foil to doubly insulate my lettuce & spinach against frost damage.
Really pleased, thank you so much, & I love your writing style.
I'll pass you on as a place-to-go for friends in miscellaneous trouble!
Karen
Great, so happy it worked for you. I don't have this kind of refrigerator anymore but I remember how infuriating it was! ~ karen
Faith
I had the same issue and, after trouble shooting, discovered that the freezer drawer was not forming a complete seal when closed which caused the fridge to run constantly in an effort to keep the freezer at temperature. Once I fixed that, my crisper drawers stopped freezing.
Jo
Karen, I ran into your blog by accident, I forgot what I was browsing for (this happens to me only of course😏).
Your post is hilarious, it absolutely cracks me up, and at the same time it is so recognizable.
My grandma never threw out anything. All is edible with the right precautions! My mom could have stuff in the cupboard that was easily years past the expiration date. I remember cleaning up as a teenager.
I, on the other hand, throw out anything that smells or tastes funny (which doesn't happen too often fortunately). But that crisper department drives me nuts so now and then.
The different generations!!!😋
Debra Lee Baldwin
I have the same kind of refrigerator and I line the crisper drawers each with a folded bath towel. It insulates and absorbs excess moisture which causes food to rot. Easy to change and wash if need be.
Anneka
Thanks for this advice! I wasn’t sure how I felt about the styrofoam with my food so was reading the comments for another solution. There’s now a towel in my fridge and I’m going to buy new, non-frozen veggies and hope it works 😁