I guess you probably don't know what it's like to almost kill someone but I do. I mean, obviously, I do, I'm sure you assumed that about me the first time we met. I pretty much ooze lethal in the same way a hand grenade does. Or a Long Island Iced Tea.
Lemme tell you how it all happened. My sisters and I loaded into an SUV at 8 o'clock last Saturday morning to head to the Christie Antique Show and Sale where I assumed I probably wouldn't be almost killing anyone. We do it every year, head out to Christie's. Sometimes it's both sisters, sometimes it's one sister and Betty, sometimes it's both sisters and Betty. Always it's an exercise in patience, thirst, lust and hunger. So like sexy time, but way more fulfilling because half way through you get to eat French Fries.
Betty didn't come this year because of the temperature. It hit around 37 degrees on Saturday which sounds cold if you're American but for everyone else, it's sounds like maybe I'm describing the oven temperature for baking cookies. 37 degrees celsius is around 98 degrees fahrenheit.
The show is always filled with hundreds of things you didn't know you needed.
... came, she saw, she bought. She also sweated.
Luckily someone was offering free shade.
Thousands. These two iron urns were thousands and thousands of dollars.
Christie's is the place to go for things you didn't know you needed, know existed, or didn't think you'd ever find.
Did I mention the heat? It was SO hot that both sisters and I were crawling along the ground in search of water when we came across this disgusting, filth riddled trash can. ALL three of us stared at it and exclaimed WATER!!!! No, we didn't notice the filth, or the garbage or the fact that all the bottles were empty and smeared with ketchup. All we saw was glorious water.
It was a rare antiquing moisture mirage.
Around noon we decided it was time to break for lunch. That would be the famous French Fry break.
My favourite part of Chip truck fries is the wood fork which I had no idea you could buy.
This is the moment I came close to taking my own sister's life.
Standing in line to order our food, Pink Tool Belt asked me what I was getting. I said "Fries.", paused a little, then repeated "Always Fries". And that simple phrase was the weapon that almost killed Fish Pedicure. At the same moment I said "Always Fries", she was taking a drink of water and laughed at the same time.
At that point a series of events ensued that would involve choking, laughing, a weird donkey sound, and a most unfortunate incident involving bodily fluid.
I should point out that the Christie Antique Show and Sale is quite a crowded event and the lines for the food trucks are the most congested area in the show. We're all packed in there desperate for a quick meal so we can get back out into the trenches and find that thing we don't need but have to have.
Just after my sister inhaled her water, but before the donkey sound, the man in line next to us, turned to look at what the commotion was at the exact moment she did a good old fashioned spit take. I can still see the entire event as it played out in slow motion. His hand raised up to shield himself, his eyes wide with fear, my other sister jumped aside covering her mouth, but neither one of them moving faster than Fish Pedicure's spray of spit and water.
She spit taked a stranger. A real spit take. The kind you'd learn in an improv class. Or by studying a particularly bad episode of Saved by the Bell.
She continued choking, laughing, coughing and apologizing for the next several minutes as everyone around her looked for napkins to wipe off the spittle.
And THAT is how I discovered I could use humour as a weapon. And a cooling off device when timed perfectly.
This is the exact style of chandelier I'm searching for, for my house makeover. It's am Empire chandelier. But I would prefer one that doesn't measure 4 feet from top to bottom.
Yeah, I mightta tried it on and walked around telling people I wore it to the show while they stared at me through a sweat tears dripping off their eyebrows.
Oh I'm sorry, BACK UP. BACK THE HELL UP.
Recognize that bed?
No?
How 'bout now?
Yup. Sold it off my front porch for $20 or $25. At the show for $95. I'm just glad it's off my porch. But there's something very strange about seeing something of yours, days after owning it for sale at an antique show.
Somebody bought this. They bought the massive mountie! I saw it in the big pick up area as we were leaving.
And that's it.
Somewhere in the pictures from today's post are the things I bought at the sale. Feel free to take a guess. I bought 4 things. Not including the french fries. Always french fries.
This is a flea market?!?! Ours are usually filled with rusty wrenches, old socks, and more plumber's cracks than one cares to view...they do have French fries though....
No. :) It's an antique show. I've been to many flea markets. This is not a flea, lol. ~ karen!
My guess is the black urn planter and the gold lion head sculpture, the chicken statue and the gold frame next to the massive Mountie.
The Drink Moxie wooden box. The painting of the woman in the red top. The Paris stool. And the headboard. YOUR headboard. Cause nothing is more desirable than something we once had that's valued or desirable to others. It's the same with our men.
I desperately want the printers cabinet. As in 'who-do-I-have-to-sleep-with' kind of want. Yep a 6k cabinet to hold my 2k worth of beads. Perfect.
Wonderful pictures! Thanks for sharing them. I think you bought: the hanging scale, the "Drink Moxie" crate, the tin of Pep hand cleaner, and the "SHE" letters.
We'll seeeeeee ... :) ~ karen!
Thanks for the tour! It was fun!
Great recap! It was my first year at the show and I very much enjoyed it despite the heat. Your purchases may have been: a hanging wooden box (the largish one); a piece of ironware for your collection and the two mid-century modern looking chairs (to be reupholstered to match the dining room).
Did you see the cast iron gryphons? They were thousands too and if my son didn't play hockey, might have been a contender. Also, no pic of the alien in repose? ;)
You bought the ladies portrait, the carved white chicken, one of the strange doll sculptures, celedon fire king Kool-Aid pitcher.
This reminds me so much of the Allegan Antique Shows (using antique very loosely here) held the last Sayurday of the month maybe May thru Sept at the Allegan Fair Grounds in--wait for it...Allegan. Allegan Michigan. We stood in line for elephant ears, tho. Anyone else been there? It's a fun day of wandering about looking at a lot of stuff you don't need but end up buying something every time. My hubby n I would drive down for the day.
I really hope you got the goat. We have them here and wanted one badly but was forbade to bring it home. Told by my husband the real ones are bad enough so don't get us run out of the neighborhood. That guarantees I'm getting one!
I loved the pink door. 98 huh? 116 here. Dry Heat? Seriously, it's training for hell.
Did you see the man pass out from heat stroke! Then 3 minutes later a lady went down also, they were dropping like flies! That's when we decided it was time to head home, still managed to get lots of great finds.
Nooo! I didn't see that! That must have been around the time that they started doing the announcements about drinking water and taking rests! We were a bit annoyed there wasn't water available other than way at the back. Other years I've been annoyed they didn't have space heaters. ~ karen!
or you need rain boots and umbrellas!
What are the items in photo #6? They are boxes with extended bits to hang it onto the wall. I have one and I have seen them all over but I am not sure what they for. I have heard for candles?
Spokane has the Farm Chicks sale. It was also this last weekend. I did not go. I could not even contemplate it this year. It is inside the fairgrounds buildings, so has AC (it was hot here too)
I might go to Pickin on the prairie in August. After I move and unpack.
I think the chicken was there as a decoy and the man sitting by it already owned it.
The black wrought iron chair. The white bench and chest. One or more of the wall basket/boxes. Something from last picture.....linen curtains?
Not the giant toboggan or the ladder despite their utter amazing-ness because they're (sadly) just too big! I really hope not any of the dolls......super creepy.
At least that's my choices.
I also can't pass by a chip truck.
Forgot the pizza boards.
OMG! I want soooo much of it all! I saw a few things I own too! LOL! I guess the ladder for sure, the goat and sheep (I want them too) and either the lion or the big orange sun! I wish I could go to those kinds of things (too many health issues, including my broken ankle.) I hope you had a lot of fun too! We want to know what you got! :)
Hopefully, not the doll recreations!! They always seem creepy to me...
CJ- my thoughts exactly! Please, please, PUH-LEASE not the dolls!
So, so love the dolls I am going to have to make some of these also!!!
Not sure what u bough but I hope you did not waste your money on that boy doll with the oil funnel on his head. I would have loved those two small blue chairs with the antique desk between them if I was a millionaire
For sure...ya should have bought that ...'bought the massive mountie'. LOVED him! #makethemwonder
I think you bought the Warner Bros plaque. Or not.....I saw the price. I was a great day except for the heat. All the metals things were so hot they couldn't be picked up.
Ladder, dough bowl, fries, chandelier (to customize to the size you want!)
The only thing I thought I couldn't live without were those fine looking french fries!