Last night my boyfriend asked me go grab him a bar of soap before he jumped into the shower. Apparently he couldn't get it himself because he was naked and didn't want to go wandering around the house with the blinds open whilst naked.
I don't know why not. He does it all the time. Men, I'm convinced would grocery shop, mow the lawn and change their oil naked if they thought it wouldn't involve a trip to the local police station afterwards. And whether they have a good body or not has absolutely no bearing on their decision to prance around naked. Where women have disproportionately poor body images, men have equally disproportionate inflated body images.
This gut? This one here? Show's I'm determined! And that I always clean my plate. And my beer bottle. And more importantly, I'm ready to dress up as the always hilarious pregnant nun at any given moment. Besides. "Outie's" are sexy.
What does this have to do with broccoli soup? Nothing. But it's a good story.
So I then asked my fella why he couldn't use the soap that was already in the shower? He picked up the 3 largeish slivers or soap from the soap dish and proclaimed "I do not use slivers!" before dramatically throwing them into the hair filled garbage can with a flourish.
It was at that point I informed the fellow that we didn't have any more bars of soap.
So he had to fish the soap out of the worst, most disgusting garbage in the house. The bathroom garbage. I felt kind of bad for him. It definitely took the wind out of his sails having to bathe with soap filled with ick.
The moral of this story? Don't read a broccoli soup recipe expecting to hear a story about broccoli soup.
What you can expect, however, is ... eventually ... a broccoli soup recipe. This one's perfect for a quick meal. There's no measuring, very few ingredients and it only takes about 15 minutes from beginning to end.
No Measure Broccoli Soup
Ingredients
1 bunch of broccoli
1 box of chicken broth (can use vegetable broth for you vegetarian types)
Salt & Pepper
Garlic Croutons
Cheddar Cheese (optional)
Half & half Cream (optional)
Get your broccoli ...
Get your broth ...
Put your box of broth in a pot and get it boiling.
Cut your broccoli up into bits.
Reserve some bits to add to the soup later.
Below are my "later" bits. I've cut them smaller than the rest of the broccoli which I'm going to make the soup out of.
Cook the "later" bits in the microwave for a couple of minutes, or steam them. They'll be added to the soup after it's blended.
If you don't like "bits" of stuff in your blended soup, skip this step.
Add your broccoli to your boiling broth. (Not your later bits, the bigger bits)
Throw in some salt and pepper. (no salt if your broth is already full of it)
When your broccoli is soft (not firm at all) drain the liquid.
Put your broccoli in a blender and blend away.
If you only have an immersion blender that's fine. Use it.
If you only have a potato masher, you're probably going to want to invest in an immersion blender.
Little by little add the broth that you drained until the soup is the consistency you want.
If you added the liquid in at the same time as the broccoli and blended it you might end up with too runny of a soup. Then your life would be ruined and you might even take to eating something like processed cheese and bread sticks for dinner instead. Which would be bad. Well ... on a regular basis it's bad.
If you like cream in your soup (I do but didn't add any in this particular soup on this particular day) now is the time to add it. Pour in a ¼ or so and give the soup a stir. If you want more add more. Simple as that. Isn't this easy?
If you're one of the ones out there who likes "bits" in their soup, add them to the blender now. Do not blend afterwards. Dummy. Then you'd lose your bits.
Shred a little cheddar cheese and put it in the bottom of a bowl.
Pour the hot broccoli soup on top.
Top with garlic croutons and enjoy.
And don't forget to pick up soap.
Jana
Dear God Karen......
I am aware of the seasonedness (not a real word but it should be) aka: age of this broccoli soup post however serendipitously it caught my eye today and thank god for my ADD as I was reading another post by you when this beauty caught my attention or I never would have seen it.....
Haven't even made it thru the entire article yet but seeings as how the mental picture in the first part of it literally brought me to hysterical tears, I felt the need to thank you for brightening my day and burning into my minds eye the below listed painted picture:
"He picked up the 3 largeish slivers or soap from the soap dish and proclaimed “I do not use slivers!” before dramatically throwing them into the hair filled garbage can with a flourish.
It was at that point I informed the fellow that we didn’t have any more bars of soap.
So he had to fish the soap out of the worst, most disgusting garbage in the house. The bathroom garbage. I felt kind of bad for him. It definitely took the wind out of his sails having to bathe with soap filled with ick."
^^ I'm still hysterically laughing....
Thanks! hahahahahaah!
Marti
Yep, today was the first time for this soup. I have never liked the whole "cheese-y thick paste with broccoli" thing... and those big packs of broccoli at my favorite store (Costco) were too much for me, so I'd stopped eating it. So this soup was a break-through. The second bowl was "no" to the cheese, but I think I could very happily go for homemade croutons.
The pumpkin soup is the one I've been waiting for, yes? :) Definitely timing it right.
Sherry
Okay I'm just gonna say it... I don't like the links on the side... I'm like a cat chasing its tale. I had a few blog posts to catch up on and I am finding the side bar soooooooo distracting and now I am completely lost in the 'Karen' maze. HELP, I'm lost in a world of soup!!!!!! or soap!!!! I don't know where I am!!! I like it on the bottom...(well not all the time... :) but the links were something to look forward to not to distract me. :(
Tricia Rose
Another reason to love Pears soap, when the bar is just a slender oval, press it into the dimple on the new bar and they magically fuse. It means I have been using the same bar of soap since 2001.
We both wander around naked all the time, I just take my glasses off. Being is more important than self-consciousness.
Liz S.
I made this soup last night and it is yummy!
Nathalie
Hi Karen,
I will definitely be making the hairless broccoli soup. Right up my alley.
BTW I found a way to deal with my slivers of soap. I make my own liquid soap using this recipe.
http://www.savvyhousekeeping.com/how-to-turn-a-bar-of-soap-into-liquid-hand-soap/
Karen
Ooooo!!! I can't wait to look at the link and try it. Thanks Nathalie! ~ karen
Sam
Just finished making this - so delicious, yet very easy to make, that I had to post immediately to give thanks for sharing this recipe. Also, that grated cheese on the bottom thing? I've never even thought of doing this before, but I love the way a simple hidden garnish makes this recipe extra special. You rock, Karen!
Ana
Any ideas on what to do with those slivers? I thought if I squeezed them together enough, they would bond and magically transform into a whole new soap! But they just fall apart. Other than a Tyler Durden-esque romp in the kitchen, what can I do with them?
Karen
Hey Ana - There are a few ideas in the comment section including a link to a Martha Stewart idea! ~ karen
Sara
Mmm...preggers here...so broccoli is a banned food because of the smell for at least another five months. Also, Karen, I know you said you were just doing a quick and dirty recipe here, but two words for you...homemade stock. It's will change your life forever! Not trying to be a food snob (I'm generally not), but stock is just one of those things that needs to taste like Grandma made it, and I just can't seem to find that full flavor in any of the commercial varieties. Lastly, many years ago my hubby started using my gel soap. Now he refuses to use a bar.
Karen
Sara - Oh, you don't need to convince me. I make my own homemade stock all the time, (beef gelee and chicken) but because broccoli is so strong I don't waste it in broccoli soup. You can't taste the difference when you use homemade or store bought in broccoli soup. I find it makes a big difference in potato soup and of course gravy. Also, this was intended as a simple, simple recipe. If you don't have homemade stock on hand ... not so simple. :) ~ karen!
Sara
Good to know when I'm trying broccoli soup in 6 months! Definitely will take a shortcut when I can. :)
Diane
I'll be making this next week...only cause you missed my grocery day with this entry. Shame on you! :P
Men...nakedness...umm, yes that's horrible to think of...lol
Evie
Hilarious!! I thought my hubby was the only one who refuses to get a new bar of soap while naked and the blinds are open. Never did understand that "can't use soap slivers" thing either, but I'm glad to hear he isn't the only one! : )
Pam'a
I think "Why do men think we want to see that?" is the wrong question to ask. A better one, IMHO, is "Why do women think men give a crap whether we want to see it or not?" In other words, they're oblivious, they don't care, and they do it because it feels good. If you've never bared your chest outdoors, you should try it at least once. Probably not at the mall, though.
Oh. This was a post about SOUP. I forgot. It looks divinely simple and delicious, Karen! As always!
gf
akk!
When I quickly read the title I thought it said: "Broccoli Soap & The Hairy Soup" Which sounds like a book my daughter (second grade) would read.
Thanks for another funny post.
Missnicoleo
ok, seriously, are you looking at my google searches? just yesterday I was looking for a simple broccoli soup, none of them rocked. Then you came along.
Karen
Yup. Here I am. Mr. Pickles is right by the way, sauteed onions also make this soup great. This version is the most simplified yet tasty version of my broccoli soup. ~ karen!
Meg
Even though it is around 110 degrees today, I am an oddball in that I love hot food in the summer and cold things to eat in the winter. Ice cream in the summer? Nope. I love it when it's cold outside. So this soup is perfect right now! Thanks.
Mr. Pickles
Mr. Pickles knows his way around the kitchen. Some of his vegan/vegetarian recipes can be found on a good friend's (*cough* one "band-y" kind of guy) blog: lifeandleaf.com
kellie
Hey karen,
Its the total opposite at my house. I am the one who prances around naked. I figure if the neighbors look, they will be so disgusted, throw-up in their mouths and will never,NEVER look again. So, its a one time thing and problem solved.
Thanks,
Kellie
marilyn
ok i would be more than happy to personally deliver several bars of soap to said male specimen and possible enjoy a bowl of soup whilst there! we can't have him using hairy soap now can we? just saying..
Karen
Marilyn - LOL. I have lots of soup left. I'm not willing to share the other thing thing. Not unless you have a really good Peony specimen or something. Maybe then we could do some sort of tradesies. ~ k
Jenn
You can substitute greek yogurt for the half-n-half. Yumm!
Amy in StL
My dad won't use a bar of soap once it's about half gone. It always drove my mom nuts so she started to make her own soap out of the slivers by cooking down the slivers with water. Just make bars out of them, we discovered the balls are kind of slippery when wet. Ha! Seriously, though.