On this day 7 years ago I donated blood for the first time. This is my story.
I should tell you I'm not afraid of needles, I don't faint at the sight of blood or the site of blood. I am unperturbed by blood unless it is gushing out of my forehead from either side of an axehead. So when I trekked into my local blood donor clinic, veins held high, ready to give blood and find out my blood type, I was not worried. My plan was to confirm the results that I got from testing my own blood type at home with an Eldoncard. I would then go home immediately to devour 14 blocks of cheese. People with type B blood you see are the only ones who can eat 14 blocks of cheese without experiencing any gut trouble, according to the book Eat Right For Your Type. I thought I was a B- but I wanted it confirmed so I could continue to eat lots of cheese.
I also wanted to give blood, because I can't think of a faster or easier way to save a life than by sitting in a chair for 7 minutes and then eating cookies.
As soon as I got to the blood donor clinic I was informed that it would take 8-12 weeks before I was told what my blood type was. Right there and then, when things started going off script, I should have been spooked. But I wasn't. I ploughed forward, shoving my veins at anyone who I thought might want to poke them.
And poke they did. A nurse asked me if I was O.K. as she positioned a needle over my finger, I said, yup, I'm fine and away we went. The first poke was to see if I had enough hemoglobin in my blood. I did. After answering several questionnaires and declaring I'd never had intimate relations with anyone who had spent time in a Turkish prison, I was ushered into a blood donation chair.
They asked me if I was O.K., I said yup, and they slid a needle into my arm. Then I just sat there as the bag beside me filled up with my hopefully Type B blood and sloshed around. I smirked a little with pride as the woman taking my blood told me I was a good bleeder and I should be done in no time. I've always been a bit of an overachiever. I don't even have to try. I'm quite amazing.
About 7 minutes later my buzzer went off and I was done. My Phlebotomist removed the needle and asked me how I was. Fine. I was FINE. Stop asking me that. I'm super tough. I've pulled maggots out of a chickens ass. Seriously, just point me in the direction of the cooki ....... Uh oh. I'm super thirsty. I wonder if I should tell anyone I'm suddenly so thirsty I feel like my tongue is made of velcro. Nah.
Huh. Things seemed weird. Not fainting weird, just weird. I decided I'd better let someone know that I think they might have accidentally taken all of my blood. I wasn't mad, I just, ya know, wanted a bit back. Enough to give me the strength to make it to the snack table. I got the words "I don't fehleighvmkdmv ..." out of my mouth and in a split second a flurry of nurses were running towards me, tilting my chair back, ramming cold compresses on every inch of my exposed skin and throwing around a lot of medical terms like, "Wow. She's really sweating. Are her eyeballs sweating? I think her eyeballs are sweating."
And they were.
I was now in what felt like an almost upside down position, covered in sweat, wondering if I could telepathically tell anyone I might barf. Because I didn't have the energy to form actual words out of my mouth. Although, being a through and through Canadian I managed to eek out a thank you when one of them put a huge block of ice under my neck.
The nurses circled around me like I was Charlie Brown's Christmas Tree and told me this was perfectly normal and I'd feel better soon. No. No, this is not perfectly normal because if it was, no one would ever donate blood ever, on account of the fact that it leads to death.
Were my bowels loosening? I think my bowels were thinking of loosening. For the love of all that is holy, please don't let me be sick to my pants right here next to the snack table. This is bad. This is really bad. I rolled my eyes in a way I thought let everyone around me know I still didn't feel tip top.
Nobody seemed nearly as worried as I thought they should be. No one even tried to ask me who my next of kin were. Indeed after 7 minutes or so of sheer hell I was well enough to ask if someone could please find my iPhone, this was a definite Instagram moment.
Did I mention one of my sisters came with me and was sitting right across from me giving blood as this all went down? No? I might not have mentioned her because as they ushered me to a stretcher (once I stopped drooling), I glanced over expecting her to be crying into a lace handkerchief and forming a prayer circle. Instead she greeted me with a big smile and a wave. Like no biggee. We all die and shit our pants in public every so often.
I didn't by the way. Poop in my pants. I didn't even faint. I didn't throw up. I just decided I needed to sweat and try to nap profusely. They wouldn't let me nap though because every time I closed my eyes some nurse yelled at me to STAY WITH US. I had saliva running down my chin so I'm not sure where they thought I was going.
I still wasn't allowed to sit up, and there was great discussion about whether I should actually try to stand as I shifted over to the stretcher.
"Can your legs hold you? Do you think your legs will hold you?"
Lady, my bowels just proved to be as loyal and strong as a German Shepherd, my legs are gonna be fine.
So onto the stretcher I went, wondering how exactly I ended up here, eyes toward the ceiling, my pint of blood probably lonely and scared in some cooler somewhere. Who DOES this? I mean people do this all the time but who ARE they? From my vantage point on the stretcher I could pretty much stare at everyone without fear of seeming suspicious and gawky because I was obviously in distress and possibly even suffering from some sort of brain damage.
Across the way I saw a girl of about 19 who I recognized as a cashier from my local garden centre. She was fine. Beside her was a man around 70 sounding a bit crotchety and letting the Phlebotomist know they should use his other arm; they always use his other arm. He was fine. Eating their recuperation snacks and juice were a wealthy looking woman and a friend of the 19 year old. They were fine. There were white people and brown people, women and men, young and old. All of them spending the end of their holiday Monday in a church community room giving blood for someone they've never met, would never meet and who would never get the chance to thank them. Why is giving blood so easy for them? Why not me?
When I was finally able to sit myself up, an organizer brought me some juice and thanked me for coming out. She kneeled down close to me, touched my knee and in a concerned voice, gently whispered into my ear "Did we get a full pint out of you?"
I laughed so hard I thought blood was going to start gushing out of the pinprick in my arm again. I don't blame her. I wasn't insulted. Getting and giving blood is important stuff. YUP. You got the full pint and judging by the way I feel, you got one of those big pints. You super-sized it.
The nurses who flurried towards me earlier all asked if I was feeling O.K. and of course I said Yes.
I'm fine.
I'm super tough.
I've picked maggots out of a chicken's ass.
Or as I'll say from here on in;
I'm fine.
I'm super tough.
I've given blood ... without losing control of my bowels.
That was a pretty funny post, right? Wanna read something even funnier? I gave blood again.
Crosby just said the magic words: donate in a reclined position. And by "reclined" I mean FLAT on your back! I gave regularly for many years, dealing with that awful feeling, just taking one for the team. Whenever I got to "that point" I'd tell them, and they would lay me flat, and eventually (seems like forever, doesn't it) I'd recover. Then one Red Cross angel (I'm pretty sure I saw her decend straight from Heaven) told me that next time I should ask to be laid flat FROM THE START. Sounded great to me, since I always end up there anyway. What a concept: lay down BEFORE you get sick! That was about 20 years ago, and I've never felt sick, dizzy, or faint again.
BTW, I woke my husband up last night laughing; after reading about your blood donation, I read about the frozen yogurt tampon and snickered my way through it and every hilarious comment. Good thing I was already lying down (maybe that's just a good concept over all) or I might have tinkled my nightie.
At least you didn't poop! ~ karen
This happens to me every.single.time!! I am A- so they really like when I donate. So I just keeeeeep going back for more torture. It's great. Tips on what I have found helps:
- ask for the juice and the cookies to eat and drink while you're donating
- drink OJ or another juice before donating as well
- ask for donate in a reclined position (my Red Cross here in the States have a few beds at each site that can recline)
- STAY WHERE YOU ARE after you donate for 10-15 minutes. Just lay there. And ask for more juice and cookies. If you tell them you're a pass out risk but that you think it is important to donate, they'll treat you realllly nicely.
I will take alllll into consideration :) Thanks! ~ karen
I have to agree with Crosby's suggestions! I have passed out from blood donation in the past. They breakout the smelling salts, I feel like a weak sauce, it was just good times all around. Now I tell them that yes, I am a fainting risk, and that I do best if I start drinking a Coke a few minutes before the stick me and then during the donation itself. Then I wait for about 10 minutes after the donation is done before I get up. Easy-peasy! As long as I stick to these two things I have zero troubles donating blood.
You might want to consider donating the platelets instead. It takes less blood, but the procedure is longer. This is from the Red Cross:
Blood is drawn from one arm then the platelets are extracted using a machine, and the remaining blood components are returned to you through the other arm. You will be able to provide in one platelet donation what would normally be collected from up to five whole blood donations.
Thanks to everyone for your donations and good job Karen!
I just wanted to pipe in for a moment...I give both blood and platelets, but was turned away many times because my iron was low. Finally, one of the nurses told me to take a spoonful of molasses everyday for at least a week before...maybe more...and with that prescription, I haven't had trouble since! Apparently, molasses is 18% iron! I too have low blood pressure and am a fast bleeder, but have yet to faint giving. However, I did faint once when my boss, an endodontist (he does root canals, not normally a procedure on children), extracted the first of eight of my sons baby teeth that were in the way in order to get his braces on (and to save me the $200 per tooth his pediatric dentist wanted to charge). It was not from the procedure, but from my erroneous belief that he pulled out the wrong tooth! Of course he hadn't but I was feeling quite like the terrible mom that tried to save money without regard for my son. Ugh!! Just in case you're interested, my son now has a beautiful smile!
I'm not sure about what sounds worse, a spoonful of plain molasses or what I went through. Maybe I'l make molasses cookies! ~ karen
I was not laughing but what you described felt very close to how I felt quite a few times and when I have that feeling, I have to get horizontal really quickly (regardless where I am) because if I don't I would pass out. Not a very good feeling, and I get so white (as people told me many times) that I am like a sheet of paper.
I am don't mind looking at blood at all and I always happily watch when I have my blood drawn (for a blood test etc.) but I am pretty sure giving blood would be a major problem for me (I am positive I would faint and who knows how it would go in the bowel department).
I like to think I am tough, too - I haven't pulled maggots out of a chicken ass but I regularly pull long blades of grass coated in poop out of my dog's ass - does it count? :)
The last time I gave blood, I fainted cold and all I heard as I fainted was someone saying, "WHY did you take blood from this woman; her blood pressure is Too low!!!" I was told never to give blood again. Needless to say, I've never gone back. My blood pressure runs Very low most of the time. So much for the Gallon pin they used to give out. The good news is that I didn't get a concussion as I hit the floor.
I've donated blood a zillion times. I had such a normal for me low blood pressure that I always had to exercise just before giving to bring it up to their standards.
Can no longer donate because I don't weigh enough.
The one donation that really brings shivers is the time on a bloodmobile when one of the
nurses said "why is her bag filling up so fast?" Then I had a couple of dozen hands putting pressure on the needle injection site as they pulled it out. Somehow they'd put it in an artery instead of a vein! All was fine though and they loaded me up with a bag full of treats to take home, along with the cheese/peanut butter crackers.
Way to go! You made it through, and have an excuse to load up on high iron foods for a few days before giving. They told me doing it just day of does nothing. How much iron is in St. Agur?
My stepmother, a nurse, always gave blood, so when I was 17, I signed up with her and my boyfriend, in part to get over my fear of needles. It worked.
It's a good thing you did.
St. Agurrrrr. Mmmmmmmm. :) ~ karen!
You sound like Homer . . .
The EXACT same thing happened to me. I used to donate blood once a year, and then got away from it after University. No problems. Good bleeder. Etc.
Then my work held a blood drive - of course I'm donating!
I turned green, and conked out. Mid-donation. I was so mad. I rallied, and got myself to the cookie table when my colour had returned. Then I fainted again. On the CEO of my company.
All I remember trying to do both times was find a way to lay down on the floor. Kudos to you for thinking to alert someone. I guess I'm more of a secretive-fainter
LOL. A secretive fainter. :) ~ karen!
First of all, congrats to you, Karen, and all your readers who give blood. Well done all! I can't donate because of my meds, but I would if I could. Such a simple and wonderful way to help people you will never meet! Altruism is my favorite "ism".
Oh my gosh! Why would you do that again?
I've given blood several times and been fine, but my mom had a similar reaction to yours, and was basically confined to her bed for 2-3 days afterwards. The nurses told her that it's not worth it - and now her philosophy is that she will only donate if someone (probably a family member) needs specifically her blood.
this happened to me...about 35 years ago, but never after. maybe it's and initiation thing. i'm ONEG and i can't remember how i learned this. probably when i married/had a child. the rhesus factor is an issue for babies when one partner is NEG. my mother likes to point out that we all (five) could have been 'blue babies'. donating blood is my top reason for keeping in shape. welcome to the blood donor family. now how about your organs? is this an option for your driving license?
You mean in Canada? Yes. All my organs and ready for science and giving. :) ~ karen!
The worst reaction I have ever had was a bit of lightheadedness. I usually feel really great for a couple of days afterward though - I attribute it to my body kicking into overdrive to make up the blood loss.
I'm not the greatest "bleeder" though, it usually takes me about 20 minutes or more to cough up (so to speak) that pint. I learned early in the donation game to avoid coffee for a couple of days prior - it constricts your veins - and to make sure I was warm. That last isn't a problem in my post menopausal days. Maybe it is because you drain so fast that you had such a reaction.
My ex was like you - opening his veins was like opening a fire hose. LOL. He was always at the drink and cookie table long before me.
I once saw a guy faint when they pricked his finger to type his blood and check for iron. Just dropped like a stone. It was pretty impressive.
"I once saw a guy faint when they pricked his finger to type his blood and check for iron. Just dropped like a stone. It was pretty impressive.", lol! Poor guy was probably mortified. But at least his misfortune led to my laughing. ;) ~ karen!
Well done Karen! As I'm sure many have already commented, it does get easier. My Karen and I started giving back some 27 yrs ago and I remember seeing through the same haze her uncontrollably laughing as I spiralled down the same hole as you describe; she does love me though...I think.
We learned, like so many others, the importance of blood donation when my best bud was diagnosed with leukaemia. Giving whole blood (then later, platelets, and the Unrelated Bone Marrow Registry) made us feel...a bit less useless than we were in helping David.
Unfortunately we lost David Spooner, but Karen and I continue to donate and think of him each time. 27 years later I now have my '100th Donation Card' (done at the same clinic location in Dundas), and Karen has donated bone marrow to unrelated recipients TWICE (one of the first in Canada to have ever done so).
All to say that whole blood/platelet/plasma donation through Canadian Blood Services is a vital cause and good cause for all of us (who are able) to support.
Thanks for taking part Karen, and for supporting and promoting it! Hoping to see you at the next clinic!
Oh I'll see you there ... I might just be the one giving out the cookies and juice, that's all. ;) ~ karen!
Yeah, that's what I do, hand out cookies and juices, cuz I'm a fainter. It's a great place to volunteer and, parenthetically, a stellar place to meet men. I don't need one, but geez. Better than Home Depot.
Way to go, Karen. You totally rock.
You are my heroes! It feels so awesome to do something so tangible for a loved one!
So???? Did I miss it somewhere?
Are you a cheese eating type B for sure and was there something in that book saying type B people shouldn't give blood???? Lol😂😂
Ha! :) Up near the beginning of the story I mention that as soon as I entered the clinic I was told I wouldn't get my blood type results for 8-12 weeks. I continue to eat cheese. ~ karen!
When I went, I also had the "I'm tough as nails!" attitude. I was sure I would be a champ at this. But I got dizzy afterwards and had to stay there for a while. For me, the weirdest part was how incredibly weak I was for the rest of the day and part of the next. I remember thinking, "This is how Robin Hood must have felt when he was bleeding to death." They told me that I must have not been well-hydrated enough and that was the cause of the weakness. I was nervous about returning, but started some new meds that made it impossible. I must admit to being relieved! :-)
I once gave blood early in the morning (7:30a) before eating breakfast. This turned out to be a bad idea. I actually passed out for a couple of minutes during the donation which caused a bit of concern among the nurses.
The particularly bad part was that I had brought my wife along for her first donation. She had eaten just before the donation and became extremely nauseous which also caused concern among the nurses. Soooo, not a good introduction for her.
She hasn't been back, but I still go. But I always make sure I've eaten a couple of hours before!
I'm type 1 diabetic, and all the sweating and wooziness sounds like the symptoms I have when I have a hypoglycemic episode. Maybe you need more pre-blood giving cookies? More cookies always sounds like a solid plan in my books.
You know what's funny is just before I gave blood I ate cold steak, swiss chard and big cookie! I guess I need a bigger cookie. A pancake sized cookie. ~ karen!
Just don't eat RIGHT before you give blood. I think your digestive system is busy handling all the new food and needs more blood then. Just wait a couple of hours, and you'll probably be fine.
Ha!...just teasing Karen...I am famous round here for fainting when I get bloodwork...yup...a wonderful trait that my son was so lucky to inherit from me also...yup... "Here come the wimps...get the smelling salts ready"...(not a joke..they actually do that).....Good luck in your future attempts!
LOLOL! Good job wimp. :) ~ karen!
biotch...lol
I've given blood for 50 years (in 3 different states). I have low BP so I would take a book to read as I pumped. The last time I went, they told me I was taking too much time in the chair and please don't come back. How do you like that? How rude!
They'd put a blood pressure cuff on me to speed me up.
Unfortunately I haven't been able to donate since the Mad Cow debacle because I spent too much time in the UK in the 80s.
Sounds familiar, my first time I ended up fainting over the milkshake and sausage rolls. I also thank my bowels and bladder for behaving themselves. Ever since, lots more water, elevated legs throughout the donation and a bit extra time lying done; all okay and ready for the free food every time.
I started donating during uni and we used to go as a group, to the centre that had the best food of course, and compete on the fastest bleeder title. I did very nicely there.
Enjoy the return adventure.