Unveiling the 4-Day odyssey that is the grooming of Philip the Poodle. It's like trimming a topiary that moves and toots while you're nose to nose with his puff machine.
This is an abridged version of what I do every 6 weeks to my almost 2 year old blue standard poodle Philip, also known as Lip. I'm an awful, amateurish groomer with no technical skills at all.
Please enjoy.
Table of Contents
Day 1
Shaving his face, feet & trimming his nails.
Poodle hair grows everywhere and it grows constantly. Even though a typical poodle cut involves a shaved face, you don't have to do that.
Classic poodle haircuts and poodles in general elicit a visceral reaction from people. There are a lot of ACKS and BLECHS that come out of otherwise polite mouths.
A lot of poodle owners now let the face hair on their dogs grow out so they look like Teddy Bears.
It is called, appropriately enough, the dinosaur trim. Just kidding. It's the Teddy Bear Clip. The face isn't shaved, but it is trimmed to be round.
Like Lip's friend Sterling who looks like somebody pulled him off the shelf of a Steiff store.
In fact, there are a billion different combinations of heads and ears you can do on poodles.
Above, Sterling has a blended, round head & Philip has a defined topknot and ears. A year ago I had to watch all the YouTube videos on how to trim dog nails. Now I'm an encyclopoodlia.
For Philip I like a shaved face and feet so Day 1 of grooming is shaving his face, feet and trimming his nails.
Face and feet day takes about an hour.
Day 2
Line Brushing.
Poodle coats are wooly like sheep, very curly, and prone to matting especially anywhere there is rubbing or moving like under the arms and around the neck if they wear a collar all the time.
- Line Brushing - Line brushing is a grooming technique where you take very small sections of the coat and brush it out completely using a fine wire brush and then a comb.
Every single knot or tangle has to be removed right down to the skin so a comb can glide through it.
The full fluff is way too hot for the summer.
Once he's fully brushed (this can take anywhere from 15 minutes to 2 hours depending on the length and filth of his coat) he can get an initial quick trim.
This is a rough trim to take off excess hair. This is only done if you plan on taking the dog quite a bit shorter for their haircut. It shortens your bathing and blow drying time.
This is post initial quick trim. Notice the small mound of hair on the table. That will look comically small soon.
Day 3
Bath and blow dry day.
I heave all 65 pounds of poodle into the bath.
Nobody likes bath and blow dry day. The bath is done in my cast iron tub using a hand shower. Bathing takes a minimum of 30 minutes.
After bathing there's a little ripping around time.
And then it's time for blow drying.
This is just the blow dry of his head.
Why do you have to blow dry? Why not let him just dry naturally?
Poodle coats naturally cord.
So if you don't dry the dog you run the risk of them becoming a single, large, obedient dreadlock.
So blow drying it is.
To blow out a standard poodle you need a high velocity dryer and a handful of pills that end in pam. Diazepam (Valium), lorazepam (Ativan) ... any of the pams will do.
After the blow dry we relax and repeat our mantra "Never again, groomers are worth every penny". Then we pass out.
Day 4
The cut.
The cut requires a pillowcase sized bag of treats, clippers, clipper combs and a variety of shears - some curved, straight and blenders.
It was during the clip when I had his back leg hoisted over my shoulder so I could trim his sanitary area and bum that he tooted in my face.
Specifically right in my nose. I could feel the puff of air.
The cut takes me at least a couple of hours. It involves contortion work on both our parts.
The Miami
I've trimmed Philip into The Miami clip. It's a poodle cut that has the entire body cut to one length, with poofs on the bottom of his legs.
Poodle people know those poofs as "bracelets", everyone else calls them pom poms. You shape a poodle's coat exactly the same way you would a boxwood topiary.
For this particular cut, I've left a neck on him which just means I've left the hair on his neck a bit longer and blended it into his short coat around his withers.
He looks pretty good, doesn't he?! He doesn't. He looks awful by show grooming standards. But the only reason for that is because I'm an awful groomer.
Every 3 or 4 months I take Philip to get a professional grooming job and then the grooms in between I use to practice.
Our next professional grooming job will be for Philip's August 2nd birthday when he'll turn 2 years old.
He'll get a big boy haircut with less floof and shaved ears so he will appear very manly and dignified. I'm imagining a Burt Reynolds vibe with more attention to the sanitary area.
Why 4 days?
Because as I mentioned - I'm an awful groomer and he'd be on the table getting groomed for morning until night otherwise.
That's too long for him and that's too long for me. By the end of the day we'd hate each other and wouldn't talk for days.
Granted, he's already not talking to me because of this ...
Jan in Waterdown
I can’t believe no one else has asked…. are the “pams” for the pooch or the owner? Gotta say personally that Adivan would be my drug of choice, if I was allowed to have such a thing.
Kat - the other 1
I Was wondering that too. Maybe both? 😂
sharon pena
Lovely! Very much appreciated. I had a standard Poodle when the kids were small And groomed her myself. I would do the whole thing in one day.
It was such a chore for us both. I have had many dogs that need grooming. After getting my current Poodle Llasa Apsa mix...
My daughter said " Mom You always have to have your topiary dog".
It is rewarding to do it yourself and it gets easier.
The dog works with you if you are patient and kind throughout. I have found groomers have had a difficult time with patience with workload and unfamiliar pooches.
Jody
I just noticed the Pride cleaver. Well done and happy Pride month.
Karen
Thanks Jody! I like my little sliding rainbow cleaver too. :) ~ karen!
Jody
You are amazing and Philip is even more so. What a handsome lad. What do you do with all the hair?
Karen
I bagged it and put it in the garbage. I could have brought it up to my big compost pile at the garden, but I just needed things to be done, over with and cleaned up! ~ karen
Christine
I have the pictures but no videos, and no sound. :(
Karen
Hi Christine - Those videos are time lapse videos. That's why he appears to have been completely groomed in 30 seconds, when in reality it was hours. So those videos have no sound. ~ karen!
Christine
I'm not getting the videos at all, just a black screen with no option to start or play.
Karen
You could be using an older browser - try updating it or switching to Chrome. If you have any sort of ad blocker on your computer it will prevent videos from loading as well. ~ karen!
Leeuna
He is beautiful! I think you did a great job grooming him.
Denise Potter
No pix, no sound on all but the last one. Can't get into comments to see if others have already called this out, so here it is again. Love your blog (except today).
Karen
Hi Denise! Those videos aren't supposed to have sound. They are time lapse videos. (that's hours and hours of video condensed into 30 seconds) And the last video is just a normal quick video. ~ karen!
JillB
What a fun post! And Phillip is so dang cute! When I was a kid, we had a poodle ( the smaller version), and my mom would just buzz him all over except his ears. I'm sure I asked for pompoms at some point, but that never happened. Mom didn't have that kind of patience! :)
Karen
We had a miniature poodle growing up as well. :) Ellie. I don't blame your mom one BIT. It's a lot of work for a childless woman let alone a mother. ~ karen!
Leisa
My daughter used to groom our Poodle, Spencer. it did take quite a long time & treats!! She did save us some money on the groomer, but not aggravation. And I did shave him all the way down in the summer, and people hated me...but it was cooler for him.
Karen
I'd like to shave him into a retriever cut - it looks for sporty - but not until I've gone through all the other cuts. ~ karen!
Sarah
I am another who has been waiting for this post for a year. What a beautiful job you do on Lip. I have been butchering the cuts on my Dog Guide career-changed standard poodles for a couple of years. I keep their coats much shorter than Lip's because, ticks. How do you get his feet so neat and clean? Do you use a more narrow clipper? I am going bankrupt buying different clippers that will "work better." I am obviously one who blames the tools, not the operator. haha
Karen
Hi Sarah. I'll do a post on everything I use in the future. I do use a different clipper for his feet. There are a variety of blades new groomers should know about. ~ karen!
Babs
Don't you wonder what the lady in the painting is thinking as she watches. "My, my she says, things have changed." "Mother always told me dining rooms should be for dining and nothing else".
Karen
The things that have happened on that dining room table ... ~ karen! (not *those* things, I mainly mean things like folding laundry and wrapping Christmas presents, lol)
Hettie
LOL! I love your attitude. You're not afraid to tackle anything. Way to go!
Karen
Thanks Hettie! But trust me, there are many things I won't tackle! ~ karen!
Carolyn
Phillip is such a nice looking guy, love that intelligent look in his eye. Having had poodles, (one jet black, the other colored like Phillips friend), I'll reserve the ACKS and the BLECKS for those with wet drippy hairy faces. I too, much prefer the clean, smooth, classic face.
You are doing a great job grooming him, he looks wonderful. You may think you're not doing it so well as you wish, but come on...Phillip is not that picky... lol.
Love poodles, such intelligent fun creatures!
Karen
I wanted to showcase all the mistakes I made, but barely had the energy to get a blurry photograph of him after it was done. He IS intelligent and definitely fun. FULL of personality. ` karen!
Darlene Barrier
Hello, please tell me the secret to trimming the bottom of the feet. I look like I was in a cat fight
Karen
Oh lord. I'm not at the level where I can give tips yet. I can say that I've learned to use almost NO pressure, let the blade do the work, and just use the corner of the trimmers to do between the pads. ~ karen!
Terry Rutherford
I think he looks just beautiful and you’re doing a great job but … groomers! We had quite a bond with our two moyenne silver poodles and groomed them only between haircuts (sanitary.) Just saying. My heart bleeds for Hugo and Louis, both gone in 2019. Just when we retired and could conceivably have learned to groom ourselves ( would have had to with CoVid looming.) I shudder to think how mangled my version would have been compared to yours. As the star of today’s post, please give Philip a nose boop from us.
Karen
Will do! I'm sorry about Hugo and Louis. It's such an awful thing to go through. ~ karen!
Peter
I love standard poodles.
But they are a lot of work to groom.
Wonderful dogs.
Beautiful natures.
ReetaVeeda
LoveThisPost! I've been waiting for this for HowLong??? One and a half YEARS?! Seriously: this is your LIFE now! You are doing one HeckOfAJob with the maintenance trims in between! I commend you! He. Looks. STUNNING! Job Well Done!!! Can we get a MeetUp with Lip and StrudelThePoodle sometime in the near future?! She is Dying to Meet this Handsome Hunk!
Vikki
I think he looks pretty good. I like hi slippers—are those DogUggs?
Kimberly
The amount of patience you have to do this…amazing. I can’t believe I whine over my 10-lb terrier when I see what you have to do….and go through 🤣
Phillip looks happy and well loved
Karen
It's awful, lol. But it really is getting easier for both of us. BIG learning curve. He's becoming SUCH a good dog though. I feel like part of that comes from our grooming time. ~ karen!
Randy P
First off - HAH!@ - funny blog today. And 'B' - that is why Vanessa (The Girl with the Dogs) is worth every single Canadian cent, farthing, thruppence or whatever the heck youse guys got up there. Did you imagine what fun it would become when Philip was but a wee pup?
Karen
I had VERY different visions of owning a dog in my head. Much like the gardeners who take up the sport because they want to wander around already grown fields of corn wearing straw hats and and linen aprons, lol. ~ karen!