This morning I found myself in my gynecologist’s office. I scheduled an appointment because I’ve been feeling DIFFERENT. The conversation started like this: “My right boob and all my joints hurt. While sleeping, I sweat more than a marathon runner. I am gaining too much weight way too fast, I feel so darn tired all the time, and I don’t remember a thing… What the heck is going on?” Her answer to my question was sweet and short: “Oh honey, you are 47! Your body is changing; isn’t it exciting!”
(Photo by Natasha Brazil)
Is it? Is it exciting? Is aging an exciting thing? Before I answer these questions, let me share an astonishing fact with you all.
The beauty industry, more than ever before, wants women and men to believe that aging gracefully is connected to anti-aging. The longer you and I look wrinkle and gray-hair free, the more gracefully we are becoming old. Our beauty and identity as “older women” is measured by the absence of natural signs of maturity. In the midtime, the beauty industry becomes richer as you and I become more insecure and dependent on their products. This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! Don’t you think?
Photo by Brad Starkey
Well, after leaving the doctor’s office, all these thoughts were dancing inside of my head.
Am I excited about growing older? Hmm, I’m not sure I would use the word “excited”.
Am I enjoying this moment, this chapter of my life? Heck, yes!
Am I looking forward to the future with enthusiasm? You bet!
Grace. This is the word that came into my mind. GRACE.
Am I aging gracefully?
After thinking about these questions, I realize that aging gracefully has nothing to do with the number of wrinkles on our faces, the sunspots in our hands, or the stretch marks on our bodies. Aging gracefully has everything to do with living a life full of… GRACE, grace toward others and yourself. It starts with being kind, welcoming, and supporting the everchanging woman you are. Dang! That statement felt good!
So, how can we age gracefully?
- EMBRACE CHANGE
We all are changing and aging independently of age 5, 45, or 105. Aging is an inevitable part of life, and the reality is that it happens from the moment a baby is born. Accepting this reality with grace creates joy and makes all the difference between trying to stop time unsuccessfully and embracing every second of our existence with gratitude and dignity. Instead of spending so much time, energy, and money on erasing the experiences printed on your skin, use that same time, energy, and money to celebrate change.
Honor your skin! Celebrate the wrinkles that were born from laughter and those that came from tears. Look at them, trace them with your fingers, feel their depth because they are deep, and the lessons behind them should be honored. Your body is the page where your story is written. Don’t be ashamed of allowing your skin to reveal the joy, sorrow, love, and loss that your heart knows.
We have lived 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90 or more summers and have survived bravely as many winters. Please do me a favor, and talk about those wrinkles, those scars, don’t erase them; instead, tell me how they got there, and say whose names are tattooed by nature on your skin forever. EMBRACE CHANGE, and you will change for the better!
2. BE MINDFUL
Life is a beautiful gift. It is NOT something to take for granted or devalue. Did you know that “65 million people die each year in the world? That is 178,000 each day, 7425 each hour, and 120 each minute”. (Biothetics Research Library)
Growing older is a miracle, and being mindful of this gift is a virtue few people have. Treating your body, mind, and spirit with the respect and devotion it deserves will bring contentment and a great source of peace. Be aware of your divine nature and the worth of your soul. Conscientiously stop the judgment and offer gracious acceptance to the always-evolving woman you see in the mirror. You will experience a massive positive change in the way you feel. Be mindful of your needs and values and have the courage to stand for them. Be mindful of the creases, lines, stretch marks, and the withered surface of your skin; your entire body is trying to remind you that you are ALIVE. Be mindful of this miracle and BE PRESENT in this very moment, live this second fully, feeling everything this minute has to offer. Take care of your beautiful body and mind, treat them well, and keep them clean and healthy. As you stop running away from the woman you are now and be mindful of her, you will see how your inner beauty will be more radiant on the exterior than ever before.
Photo by Kelly Newton
3. WATCH YOUR WORDS
Imagine that someone came to you and started pointing out all the imperfections of your children. That person judges harshly every minor physical flaw about them and, with endless criticism, points out his weight, her nose, his body, her ears, his hair, her voice, and the list goes on.
How would you feel?
How would you react?
Would you consider that person a bully?
Would you ask that person to stop?
Please take a minute and think about your answers.
Now, imagine that you are the child because YOU are. You are a divine daughter or son of a God. He created you. You are magnificent. In His eyes, you are His beautiful and precious creation. Please, I beg you, don’t be the one that points out all the imperfections of the person you see when you look at yourself in the mirror. Don’t judge harshly every minor physical flaw about yourself. Please don’t point out with endless criticism your weight, nose, body, ears, hair, voice, and whatever makes your list go on.
You have a Father.
You are His child.
Remember this and watch your thoughts and the words that come out of your mouth. Don’t tell yourself what you wouldn’t say to anyone else. Speak to yourself with grace and compassion. Say words of kindness, support, forgiveness, encouragement, and speak love to your soul. Don’t allow the critic inside of your head to bully the gentle essence of your spirit. You are loved. Remember that.
I want to finish admitting that I am 100% human. I struggle like anyone else, and these words are some that I often need to be reminded of myself. I hope to keep aging gracefully and that my journey gives my daughters and son the courage and motivation to do the same and love the skin they are in.
Thank you so much for stopping by. Please leave your comments and share your thoughts. I would love to hear from you!
Much love,
Desi
