Cannibals, rats, wacko GOP politicians: Idaho’s 10 most embarrassing news stories of 2024

Idahoans are a unique breed. And some of us are more “special” than others.

Each new year, I force myself to take one last masochistic gaze back at the past 12 months. To savor one last Idaho wince. By relishing all the headlines that made us groan – about the wonderful state we all adore.

So many. Narrowing the contenders is daunting. Often, it boils down to semantics. Was it actually embarrassing, or just horrifying, when the state botched the execution of serial killer Thomas Eugene Creech (like, eight times)? Was it humiliating, or just shocking, that an ex-con allegedly stole at least $750,000 from the Idaho American Legion?

Either way, pat yourself on the back, Idaho. When it comes to self-imposed mortification, there’s no state quite like ours.

Better yet, slap yourself on the head.

A pound of flesh

Much of this 10-story cringe binge will come courtesy of Idaho extremists, who are so far right that they’re teetering on the edge of flat Earth. (Newsflash: This is a red state. If we lived in Oregon – the horror! – we’d be talking about liberal nutjobs instead.)

Let’s begin with Idaho Legislature Hall of Shame member Rep. Heather Scott. Last February, the Republican from Blanchard introduced a bill (ostensibly with a straight face) about cannibalism.

Idaho already outlaws cannibalism. It’s the only state to do so, according to Encyclopaedia Britannica.

Apparently, Scott wanted to add some meat to the bone.

According to the Idaho Statesman, she expressed concern to a legislative committee that some of us possibly might be chowing down on each other. “This is going to be normalized at some point, the way our society’s going and the direction we’re going,” she said.

Scott’s fears reportedly were triggered by human composting – turning a cadaver into, like, Miracle-Gro potting soil – and a fake cannibalism video from a TruTV prank show.

The joke’s on us, Idaho. Legislators spent actual time debating the cannibalism bill. They voted to print it.

Forget flesh. These wacko GOP lawmakers are swallowing our tax dollars.

Show some guts, Boise State

It was a memorable season for Boise State women’s volleyball. But not for competitive reasons. After all, the Broncos forfeited both matches against San Jose State. They also withdrew from the Mountain West tournament rather than possibly face the Spartans. Not a strong game plan.

Why did BSU keep forfeiting? Because a transgender player reportedly lurked on San Jose State’s roster.

Boise State never admitted this was the reason. But everyone knew it. Three other teams pulled out of games against the Spartans, too.

Instead of having the nerve to just say it, BSU put out vague, whiny press releases, apparently trying to minimize outrage on both sides. Gutless.

Should transgender athletes be allowed to compete in women’s sports? Absolutely not. But you can’t debate the issue if you’re too cowardly to even talk about it.

Idaho lets kids go hungry

In a decision as enraging as it was shameful, Idaho senators yanked food out of the mouths of more than 136,000 low-income kids in March. They turned down more than $16 million in federal money from a summer grocery benefits program for children called Summer Electronic Benefit Transfer.

Far-right politicians trotted out the unsympathetic anti-welfare, government-ain’t-your-charity argument. Ultimately, almost every Republican senator nixed the opportunity to fill the bellies of Gem State children.

Denise Dixon, executive director of the Idaho Hunger Relief Task Force, told the Statesman that the program was “extremely important with the high price of food right now and the lack of benefits available. It’s a difference between there being food for them to eat in the summer, and not.”

As heartbreaking as that sounds, this travesty was nothing new. In 2023, Idaho’s departments of Education, and Health and Welfare, left nearly $15 million sitting on the table from a similar federal program to feed low-income children.

You live in Eagle?

Well, rats

Some places fret about crime. Not Idaho. If you hung out on social media last year, you soon discovered what really freaks out Eagle residents. (Other than immigrants.)

Rats! Not the cute kind (if those exist). We’re talking hideous brown monsters. The huge kind that gnaw on zombie corpses in sewers.

“This is a public health crisis!” exclaimed a poster in an Eagle Facebook group. “Why haven’t we heard from the city, county or state???”

The owner of Eagle’s Sawtooth Pest Control told the Statesman that he’d been contacted 40 to 60 times about rats in 2024. “It’s really bad this season. We had a handful of calls last year and a ton this year.”

How did Eagle get infested?

Conspiracy theorists, er, experts pointed to out-of-staters moving into town. Their shipping containers? Gee, thanks a lot, relocated California MEGA Republicans! (MEGA = Make Eagle Great Again.)

No matter how the furry nightmare began, it’s probably here to stay. And spreading from Eagle to … your house, Boise. And Meridian. And Nampa …

Hetero

‘awesomeness’

Brain-cell-optional events such as “Unvaxxed Singles Meetup.” Gleefully irresponsible “Conspiracy Theory Trivia” nights with AR-15 rifle prizes. “Open Carry Coffee” mornings with handguns. A tinfoil-hat “NASA Lies and Flat Earth” presentation – seriously?

The sheer quantity of extremist marketing lunacy churned out by Old State Saloon in Eagle is astonishing. The bar’s attention-starved, California-transplant owner even has a real estate company offering free listings to liberals leaving Idaho.

But the face-palming concept that opened the floodgates of disgrace? Heterosexual Awesomeness Month. Putting the “trans” in transparent bigotry, the far-right bar offered free beer to “any heterosexual male dressed like a heterosexual male.” A blatant dog whistle, the June promotion coincided with LGBTQ+ Pride Month, the annual celebration for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender pride.

After I spanked Hetero Awesomeness Month (with a smile) in an opinion piece, other media picked up on the story. Fox News even wrote about it. And quoted my column, earning me weeks of vile hate messages from across the nation. Thanks, Rupert!

Even more embarrassing than Old State Saloon’s culture politics? The fact that so many Idahoans can’t see that they’re being exploited by a calculated money grab.

Forget textbooks. Study the Bible

Compared to the rest of the nation, Idaho schools aren’t exactly known for high marks in education. Maybe if we pray, everyone’s GPA will improve?

In November, the Idaho Family Policy Center, a Christian lobbying group, announced that it planned to unveil a bill forcing to have the Bible read in all of our public schools.

Satan himself isn’t this dastardly. Do you think our students’ eyes are glazing over in class now? Wait until they have to plow into the Old Testament right after AP Calculus.

The bill, according to a Statesman article, would require the entire Bible to be read over a 10-year period. Teachers would do it – aloud. Approximately 20 verses each day. Supposedly, there would be a nonparticipation option for students with parental consent and faculty.

That’s not the point, though. Separation of church and state is the point. At least in America.

Of course, this is Idaho.

Whoop! Whoop! (Cough, cough)

Whooping cough is a terrible affliction. But, fortunately, it’s not something we have to think much about in the 21st century.

Whoops.

Kootenai County in North Idaho had an outbreak early in 2024 – mainly among kids. Then in December – yes, last month – the Boise School District warned about a “widespread” outbreak in this area and statewide.

The Statesman reported that cases in Idaho shot up more than 20 times year over year, according to Idaho Department of Health and Welfare numbers. It’s actually a national trend. But the preventable disease is even more worrisome – and embarrassing – for Idaho.

Why? Because so many Idahoans don’t “believe” in vaccines. The Gem State has the country’s lowest vaccination rates, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Idaho laws make it relatively easy for anti-vaxxer parents to snag exemptions for their unfortunate children.

Most whooping cough cases strike in the “developing world,” according to Wikipedia.

Oh, that makes sense now. There are lots of developers in Idaho.

Book banning hits new low

Based on the dwindling number of people who actually read books, it’s bizarre how obsessed Idahoans are about banning them.

Censorship hit a new low when the Legislature passed House Bill 710 and Gov. Brad Little signed it in April.

It limits what our children can access at libraries – “books that Republicans deem are ‘harmful’ to minors,” the Statesman explained. “The bill allows community members to file written requests to remove materials from a library’s shelves. The library or its board would then have 30 days to move the material, after which the community member could file a lawsuit for $250 in fines plus unlimited ‘actual damages.’ ’’

Yes! Frivolous lawsuits about Judy Blume books! When kids already have genuinely awful things at their fingertips 24 hours a day. On their phones.

In truth, this mostly seems to be about stomping out literature related to the LGBTQ+ community.

Because of HB 710, Donnelly Public Library won’t let in minors without a parent, or signed paperwork from a parent that either gives access to programming only, or waives the ability to sue.

Multiple organizations and citizens in the Wood River Valley have filed a lawsuit “declaring the measure unconstitutional and asking a federal court to block its enforcement,” according to the (Ketchum) Idaho Mountain Express.

What. A. Mess.

‘Go back to where you came from!’

Is anything more pathetic than a grouchy white coot hollering, “Go back to where you came from!” at a person of color? Especially when it’s an elected official doing the yelling? At a moderated forum?

That was the reported scene this fall in Kendrick, a small town in North Idaho. Sen. Dan Foreman, R-Viola, a retired Moscow cop, allegedly got aggro after candidates were asked about the possibility of discrimination in the Gem State. Trish Carter-Goodheart, a Democratic House candidate and Nez Perce Tribe member, responded with the argument that, yep, it’s an issue.

According to a statement issued by Carter-Goodheart afterward, Foreman stood up and yelled, “I’m so sick and tired of this liberal bulls—-! Why don’t you go back to where you came from?” Then he left early.

It’s bad enough if Foreman didn’t actually grasp where Native Americans “came from.” But in a disturbing trend during his Legislature stint, he’s “become known for outbursts of anger,” according to a Statesman article.

On Facebook, Foreman said he’d been “race-baited” Then, in a lengthy follow-up, he denied any racist statement, claiming, “The accusation made is patently false.” Alternative facts?

Born in lllinois, maybe Foreman should take his own advice.

Racial harassment in Coeur d’Alene

By the way, Sen. Foreman: Is there ever a year Idaho doesn’t generate national attention about the state’s perceived racism?

Always dependable North Idaho came through with another doozy in 2024.

In March, Coeur d’Alene police were told that people in vehicles had shouted racial slurs including the n-word, and revved engines, at nonwhite members of the University of Utah women’s basketball program. Basically terrorized them while they were walking to and from a restaurant.

National media ranging from ESPN to NPR covered the story.

Rather than condemn this garbage, some far-right Idaho Republicans tried to pretend that, hey, maybe it just didn’t happen at all! Audio from the scene proved otherwise. Not to mention the fact that an 18-year-old Post Falls High School student fessed up about the harassment, The Spokesman-Review reported.

No charges were filed. Just endless shame for us all.