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This column reflects the opinion of the writer. Learn about the differences between a news story and an opinion column.

The Slice: ‘The doctor is in’ sign might be extra selling point

Here are a few of the things that might keep me from taking a photo of every lemonade stand I encounter and then posting the pictures on The Slice Blog.

• Parents freaking out.

• Kids demanding cash in exchange for the photo op.

• A TV news crew’s presence near the lemonade stand.

• Youths staffing the stand appear to be 19.

• Kids keep flipping me off just as I take the picture.

• Sticky lemonade fingers make operating the phone a mess.

• Exorbitant cover charge.

• Bouncer hassles.

Get to know your S-R staff: One of my colleagues reportedly does not allow toenail clipping in her house. Apparently family members are asked to do that outside.

I cannot remember ever hearing of such a policy. Have you? What about during winter?

What happens to the clippings? Maybe they are used by ants for “Ivanhoe”-esque jousting.

From The Slice mailbag: “Do you believe everything about a person’s life printed in an obituary is true?” wrote a reader who apparently suspects not every dead person was a wonderful, uplifting presence while alive. “I’ve found some untruths.”

Slice answer: “Yup, I did a saliva test about six months ago,” wrote Lew Schrawyer, in response to the question about mailing off a DNA sample. “The results ended 50 years of misinformation, evasion and untruth. A cousin had done the same test and the results clarified many issues for her, too. Best money I have ever spent, period.”

In the matter of T.S. Eliot, “The Waste Land” and April’s relative cruelty: Donivan Johnson of Metaline Falls shared this.

“I agree with Eliot who was just riffing on Chaucer.”

Whan that Aprille with his shoures sote…

“If Newton Minnow wrote the poem it would be called ‘The Vast Wasteland.’ ”

Porch issues: It’s not that I don’t care. I do. But conversations about home-delivery problems are best had with the good folks in the Circulation Department.

Today’s Slice question: Are you willing to allow other generations to have their own favorite summer songs or do you insist that they bow down before songs that were popular when you were young?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email [email protected]. Wonder if anyone registers for Bloomsday under the name James Joyce.

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