Dr.

Eric Berne (1910-1970), Canadian psychiatrist, was the founder and

initial creator of Transactional Analysis (T.A.). T.A. is a theory of the
personality, communication, and human relationships that provide powerful
psychotherapeutic tools for personal growth and change
organizational. The philosophy of A.T. is based on the premise that every human being is
essentially positive and has potential to develop. Taking this into account
premise, every person can make use of the set of tools provided to them
A.T. to develop their capacity for awareness, intimacy, and spontaneity.

Eric Berne observed that all the people he accompanied in their process of
psychological therapy acted according to what he called a 'life script', which
it's like the preset argument of a dramatic work that the person feels
obligated to represent, regardless of whether she identifies with her
character. And the thing is when someone is representing a script, what they are doing is
act according to the definition of the character that has been written by another. According to the
investigations carried out by Eric Berne throughout his entire experience
As a professional psychotherapist, the life script is established by the child during their
childhood, under the influence mainly of their parents and other parental figures.
This script is reinforced by the different experiences and events that
The child is living as he grows.

Fortunately, the research shows that the scripts are not closed,
but they can be modified. And what is more important, that change of script
it happens when the new screenwriter decides to be oneself, rewriting the script to their own
mode through a progressive process of becoming aware of what are the
elements that condition and at the same time, what are the legitimate desires according to the
that the person wants to live their life.

According to Berne, a script is a life plan that contains the most significant aspects of it.
what will happen to a person. It is not about a fate determined by the
gods, but has its origin in the beginnings of life, in childhood, in
the early decisions a young person makes to adapt and survive in
its environment and that remain installed as a program that guides the person in the
future and unconsciously unless it decides to become aware of the
beliefs and unconscious decisions that govern. The life script, therefore,
it is based on the decisions made in childhood, with the information and resources
available at that time and that lead to the creation of a certain position,
hopes and course of life. These are, in their moment, an apparently solution.
reasonable for the existential situation the child is in.

Probably the best way to summarize what Dr. Berne thought is found
in the following aphorism, which he often repeated: 'People are born princes and
princesses until their parents turn them into frogs." Eric Berne argued that in
a situation where the young person is not under pressure, important decisions
about life should not be taken before adolescence, but the script of
Life is the result of a set of premature and forced decisions as they have
were taken under pressure and much earlier than they should have been.

Given that it is in the tenderest childhood when the foundations of the famous
self-esteem, of self-worth and the worth of others, is about becoming aware
what the elements of that script are, among which it is worth highlighting the
following elements:

The mandates: the mandate, or "the curse" using the terminology of the
fairy tales refer to the prohibitions or inhibitions in the
child's behavior. They always refer to the denial of an activity and are
in direct relation to the desires, fears, or anger of parental figures. The
mandates vary according to intensity, the restriction zone, and the damage they can cause.
cause. They can range from a "don't live", to a "don't be yourself", going through a
"don't belong", "don't achieve", "don't feel" or "don't think". According to Berne, the
mandates are the messages that reach the child (mainly in a non-verbal way) to
to be repeated day after day by their parents or by the people who have a
strong emotional influence on him, or exceptionally due to a circumstance
lived as dramatic. The list of mandates of which we can be the object is
extensively and, due to its importance, we will write about its generation and
resolution in a forthcoming article.

An important second element when constructing the life script is the

attributes. As its name suggests, an attribution tells the child what they should
do or what must be. Unlike mandates, which are of a nature
limiting, the attributions burden the small one with what is expected or desired that
sea. Also, as in the case of mandates, the possible list of attributions is
unlimited: 'you are like your uncle', 'you are just like grandpa', 'you are... good, bad,
"ready, clumsy, healthy, fragile, special, different, tremendous, etc." Labels that, to
repetition base, they can be hung on the backpack that shapes and builds the
plastic and flexible identity of a child seeking to be loved, protected and
recognized.

A review of the life script involves analyzing different dimensions of the

existence related to desire, beliefs, choices and
vocations. Therefore, the work is neither quick nor easy, as tackling certain things
dimensions of memory as well as reviewing the meanings assigned to the
Circumstances and people from the past and present require systematic work.
based on courage, patience, and a deep desire for change. All of this to
redefine one's own identity, if possible, as well as the beliefs and permissions that
they accompany us regarding the most important issues of life: the partner,
sex, religion, vocation, politics, pleasure, prosperity, etc.

The future of every human being depends on many things, but it is important not to overlook the
personal responsibility as one of the factors, if not the factor, of greatest
importance. That responsibility is expressed in the willingness and ability to generate
changes in oneself and in one’s own circumstances. And, above all, in the
determination to take charge of one's own life by making changes and
resignations that are necessary for this. Because perhaps the achievement of the
True freedom comes when we are able to renounce what we are in favor of.
of what we can become, that is, when we take on the challenge of writing and
live our own life script.

P.S. Among the abundant bibliography that revolves around Transactional Analysis and
to the study of Life Scripts, perhaps the work of Claude M. Steiner, titled
"The scripts we live" and published by Kairós, is one of the references.
fundamental. It is one of the most comprehensive, exciting, and recommended about the
subject. A reading that does not leave one indifferent and invites reflection on the
own life script.
The life script is a concept from the Canadian psychiatrist Eric Berne (1910-1970),
who, when analyzing their patients, realized that there was a script or pattern that
everyone followed since they were little.

Thus, the life script arises from the decisions made at a level not
conscious, since childhood.

Such decisions are what lead a person to live according to a plan of

life, as if it were a play.

There are phrases that are internalized since childhood, especially when they come from parents.
whoever says them, and in this way the script is being shaped.

How is the script of life formed?

When one is small, appropriate rationalizations cannot be made, due to the
age, therefore, what is done are literal interpretations of those phrases that
say the adults.

The decisions that children make are to be loved and accepted.

by their authority figures, following the rules that were dictated.

So, this life script is formed when one begins to follow those norms and
It is perceived that this leads to the acceptance of parents.

In such a way, there are children who please their parents because they interpret that this gives them
they make happy and, in the end, they can even end up prioritizing their needs with
such as to make them feel pleased.

These people, who have structured this life script, do not know how to place
limits, they address the needs of others first and act accordingly
what others expect of them.

This type of scripts is closely related to the need for

approval and the fear of rejection that a person may feel, which leads them to
an excessive need to please others.

The technique of "paradoxical intention", what it consists of and when it is used

The technique of 'paradoxical intention', what it consists of and when it is used
How did Éric Berne arrive at these conclusions?
Doctor Berne realized that all the people who came to his therapies
they acted according to what he called the 'life script'.

It is a pre-established scheme, just like in a dramatic work, in which the

people feel compelled to play a role, even if they do not identify with it
with the character that has been assigned to them.

Well, when interpreting a life script, what you do is act in accordance.

with what another has written.

According to Berne's observations, the life script is formed from the stage
infantile, above all, under the influence of their parents and other important figures
what it has around.

As time goes by, this script is reinforced through experience.

that the person goes living.

However, fortunately, the script of life does not have to be conclusive. At

On the contrary, it can be modified when the screenwriter decides to be the protagonist himself.
of her history and rewrite the facts.

Of course, that happens gradually, as it is being taken.

awareness of the personal desires that the person wishes to live.

According to Berne, a life script does not determine a person, but it is

decisions that a person makes at an early age to adapt and survive in a
environment, but they can be modified.

For this reason, Dr. Berne had a motto with which he affirmed: 'People
princes and princesses are born until their parents turn them into frogs." And it is because
this that Berne advocated that important life decisions should not be made
before adolescence.

The opportunity to create change

We all have the opportunity to create changes and start writing our
history, according to our desires and will.

Well, everyone is responsible for changing their circumstances and taking on a

direction for your life, even if this means giving up what no longer serves you
it works or it does not need.

Some scripts
Among the most common life scripts, we can find the following:

Perfectionist script: these people do not tolerate failures. Behind them, they tend to
to be demanding parents who care a lot about merit and the
excellence.
People who do not grow: and are childish for life. They fear taking responsibility.
responsibilities because they have had overprotective parents.
Not being a child: this case is the opposite, because these little ones carry a lot
responsibility, because their parents have delegated it to them and they have not been able to
enjoy the joy and curiosity of childhood.
Do not appear weak: they must always remain strong. They tend to live with emotions.
repressed.
Non-belonging: children who received messages that they were different and did not
they taught how to form bonds.
There are more life scripts, but these are the most common ones that can be found.
even today in a large number of adults who have not dared to change their
history.

Client-Centered Therapy: its essence and purpose

Client-Centered Therapy: what it consists of and its purpose
How to change a life script?
Life scripts, as mentioned, can be changed, but they
It requires courage for this, since by doing so, many patterns are left behind.
and behaviors.

A person can change the script of their life when they decide to be their own screenwriter.
and rewrite the scenes of their life, without them being those that have been inherited
unconsciously. Therefore, becoming aware is very important.

To write a new life script, one can start with some questions.
basics that allow for the removal of the foundations, such as:

What is the script that is being represented in your family of origin?

Do you feel good about that script?
What role do you play with your family, partner, and friends?
What kind of person were you taught to be?
What kind of person were you taught not to be?
How do you see yourself in ten years if you continue with this same script?
Are you able to act in a different way?
All these questions can help us create a different life script about
Everything if we see the future, but we do not see ourselves happy in the long term.
02/09/2018
Self-sabotage and life scripts
Self-sabotage prevents us from reaching our goals, and even if we are not
conscious, it is related to our life scripts
Does it happen to you that, no matter how hard you try, you always end up making the same mistakes?
errors or are you still having the same problems? It can happen to you in relationships
as a couple, at work, with friends, with family,... and it generates a lot of
dissatisfaction and frustration because you don't know how to change these situations.

Why are there people who achieve everything they set their minds to with great ease and in
other changes that, even with a lot of effort, fail in their attempts? What is it that
does it make us successful in our lives or not?

In Transactional Analysis, life scripts are discussed, a theory that was

developed by Eric Berne and his collaborators, mainly Claude Steiner.

What are life scripts?

Berne understands the life script as 'an unconscious life plan'. It is
unconscious because it is formed in early childhood through interaction
with our parents, through both verbal and non-verbal messages they give us,
by the way they treat us and relate to us.

Based on all this, the child creates an image of themselves, of others, and of the
world. That is to say, the child decides, for example, whether they are worthy of being loved or not, if
you can or cannot trust others or whether the world is or is not a safe place. These
first decisions, as they are referred to in Transactional Analysis, are based on
sensations, emotions, and feelings as they are created before the child can
to speak.

These initial decisions of the child that are very experiential and primary, will
condition the way in which the child will face the different
situations as he/she grows up: the relationship with his/her little friends in the
park, with other relatives, the start of school… Everything that happens to him will
to reinforce or not those initial decisions.

Berne affirms that the script is a life plan.

The child from his earliest childhood makes a decision about himself, about the
others and about the world, based on the messages given to them by their parents and others.
reference adults, and everything that happens afterward aims to confirm their
life script, with which all subsequent actions and decisions will reaffirm.
the child's first decision.

In this sense, we can state that if a child has made the decision that they do not
can succeed in life, that does not deserve to be happy and that things
they go well, we will say that he has a loser life script and, in a way
unconscious, will make decisions that will lead him to fail in various aspects of
his life; that is, he will self-sabotage.

An adult with a loser life script will make decisions in a way

unaware that they confirm that life script for him, and each failure will provide more feedback.
his decision of unworthiness. We all know people who commit the same mistake over and over again
the same mistakes, that fail in their projects, that are always related to
toxic people who make them suffer. We think of them as not making an effort.
enough, that they have bad luck or that they are very unfortunate. But the reality is
that they are not aware of their life script nor of the vital decisions they have made
taking throughout its existence.

What can we do to break out of our script and avoid self-sabotage?

First of all, we must keep in mind that the decisions of the script are the
best strategy for a child to adapt and survive in a world that sometimes
he perceives as hostile or what he does not understand, and secondly, to understand that the
script decisions, when made in early childhood, are based on emotions and
the interpretation that the child makes of reality. And this interpretation may not
be correct.

For example, if when the child is two years old, a little brother is born and their mother dedicates
a large part of his time, as is logical, in taking care of the baby, the little child
one can experience it as a danger and abandonment, deciding that he is not worthy of
love. But in reality, the mother has not stopped loving him, but she has to
divide your time between the two children.

Following the same example, that child who has made the unconscious decision to
who is not deserving of love, will interpret any fight or argument with his
friends or schoolmates as a rejection of their person, reinforcing that first
decision. As an adult, he will have relationship problems because he does not consider himself worthy of
to be loved. We can assert that their first decision will define their life as long as
will sabotage their happiness.

There are other script decisions that originate from the messages they give us.
our parents. Phrases like "You are a disaster", "You will never achieve anything", "I know
strong, children don’t cry,” “You have to be at the top of the class,”… lead us
to have certain behavioral patterns such as repressing our feelings,
to strive to be perfect or to strive uselessly to be someone in the
life.

The drivers of the life script in Transactional Analysis

In either case, the messages received and the interpretations of
Child makes us act in one way or another. In Transactional Analysis it is said that
the drivers of the life script.

Each one of us has drivers that make us take

always the same unconscious decisions for each specific situation. And
precisely, it is this sequence of decisions that leads us to always fall into the
same type of relationships and/or that we always end up experiencing the same thing.

Being aware of both the decisions in our life script and the
drivers that lead us to act in a certain way will help us to be able to
redecide our life script. Picking up the previous example of the child who has
having a little brother, the adult upon becoming aware of their life script of not
deserving and that the decision was made after feeling abandoned by his mother,
he can decide again that he is worthy of love and remember situations in which his mother
She was affectionate with him, dismantling the initial decision of the two-year-old who did not
was in line with reality.

Likewise, an adult who has a driver that does not allow them to show their
feelings because his parents reproached him that boys should not cry and that
he had to be strong because he is a man, he may be aware of this belief
limiting and changing it, giving oneself permission to express their emotions and ask.
help if you need it, which will help you feel more relieved and better about yourself
same.

Transactional Analysis is a powerful psychological technique that allows us to

analyze our script drivers so that, as adults, we can take new
decisions that allow us to break the loop that leads us to self-sabotage.
life. The life that lives us without knowing it.

What is the life script. The life that lives us without us knowing it.
What is the life script? Josep Guasch, psychotherapist, psychotherapy consultation and
Coaching. Life script psychotherapy in Sabadell, Terrassa, and online.

Is it possible that we are living a life alien to ourselves? And when I say 'to
"ourselves" which part of ourselves am I referring to?
These are the first questions I asked myself when I wondered, What is the script of
life?

What is the life script. Origin and current situation

Eric Berne (1910-1970) was the creator of a therapeutic modality called Analysis.
Transactional. His initial training in psychiatry led him to specialize as
psychoanalyst. He stood out among his colleagues for his ease in expressing, in a way
simple, the abstruse concepts of psychoanalysis. However, in 1956 it was
formally rejected by the San Francisco Psychoanalytic Society.

Self-knowledge with transactional analysis and life script.

In its quest to develop a more effective and practical psychotherapy methodology

he designed what is now called Transactional Analysis. And in this therapeutic modality a
theory of the life script. What is the life script? Its creator defined it as
next way:

It is a life plan formed in early childhood under parental pressure and that
it continues to be in force. It is the psychological force that drives a person towards
your destiny. Whether the person fights it or says it is their free will.

This theory of the life script devised by Eric Berne is supported by modalities.
therapy purposes. Thus, Jung discovered in myths a reflection of dynamics
internals that secretly guide our lives. The modern schools of
systemic thinking emphasizes (just like transactional analysis) the
unconscious family loyalties. They define them as unconscious programs that
They govern our lives. Psychogenealogy emphasizes the impact of inheritance.
transgenerational in our vital attitude and behavior. Others, like the process
Hoffman of Quadrinity points out the need to integrate deep understanding
of our parents.

Of course, these are related modalities that aim for the same goal, but not
strictly the same. So what is the life script, according to the analysis
transactional?

What is the life script, it is a script, not just a plot.

What is the life script? How did it start? Some translations indicate
the 'argument' of life and the strictest theorists refute it. The argument, for
example in a movie, marks a direction, a line. The script is much more
literal. And Eric Berne and the current trends of Transactional Analysis do
they continue to defend it as a way of life.

What is the life script?

A script goes beyond a plot; it is more detailed and descriptive.

That is to say, there is an argument, some characters, a plot, and above all very
especially, an ending. Stewart and Joines in their book 'Transactional Analysis'
Today, they highlight a story that Berne told. Two twins (presumably very...
rebellious ones) constantly heard their mother say that "they would end up in a
mental hospital." And so it was, one ended up as a patient, the other as a doctor.
resident.

In this story, the ending of the script is clear. In others, not so much. But above all the
the important role of parents in the construction of that life script.

That is to say, the role of parents is important. However, to understand what it is

life script according to transactional analysis, lacks something essential: the decision.
The script is always a decision of the child. Now, it is important to clarify that the
decision is not in the terms that adults do.

How did all this begin?

I always stay in the line of transactional analysis. We started the script to
deciding from birth. By the age of four, the plot is already almost developed. And to
The main details are already set in the first seven years. In adolescence.
There is an 'update', but with the script already complete up to the ending.
Schematicly this is the answer to how it started.

But I understand that a question arises now... how can a baby start all this?
shed? To understand this well, it is necessary to comprehend how one feels and thinks.
baby as it grows.

Let's start by highlighting an obvious reality that we don't know how to understand from the
childhood universe. When we are born, we generally encounter beings that
we live as giants and of those we know we depend. If they are missing, or they
(we believe that) they get angry... our survival is at risk. This is the anguish.
vital of the baby. Of course, not thought out or analyzed as an adult, but understood.
as a felt and lived sensation.

As babies, we adapt to reality.

as a survival strategy
It's as simple as understanding that if I'm hungry and I cry, someone feeds me.
something (bottle or breast) with which that discomfort that we call as adults is satisfied
hunger. If we cry because we have gas, one of those big guys "moves" us a
a little and we burp. If we are cold, they put something on us that seems to calm that feeling.
As adults, we call that cold, but the baby simply lives as a great
annoyance.

It is not surprising that we feel a sense of helplessness and dependence. Moreover,

extreme dependence for survival. Understanding what the life script entails
understand that it is a response from the baby for its survival.

And a second element. From this anguish of survival and radical dependence,
the child draws his 'conclusions'. But his conclusions are from his peculiar
way of recording reality. And from this peculiar way of perceiving, he/she feels his/her
emotions and draw their conclusions.

Life script and inner child.

Babies and children have a peculiar way of perceiving and understanding reality.

The way to confront and elaborate on the child's reality will be seen in another article.
This article is only an initial approximation. But to understand what is the
A life script will be necessary for this approach. Understanding how the sensory world is.
emotional and cognitive of the child.

From here I believe that the answer to what the life script is is clear. It is a
way for the child to adapt to reality. From their peculiar way of perceiving and
process reality draws conclusions. And to procure acceptance and the
love from their caregivers, fantasizes a life script.

As is to be expected, this unconsciously implemented program remains alive during

adulthood. With its nuances and adaptations, of course. However, with the
same background.
The types of vital arguments according to transactional analysis
Eric Berne defined three types of life scripts, namely, winner, no
winner, failure. It is easy, by the given names, to guess the criterion for
the ones that are categorized. Of course there are three generalizations, among which
There are as many peculiarities as there are people.

What is the life script of a winner? It is the life plot of the person who
achieves what it sets out to do. Moreover, the cost of achieving it does not pose a burden to him.
evident harm. For example: Two men decide to succeed in politics. The two
they achieve it. The first one achieves his goal and, despite it being hard work, he
it allowed to have a happy life. To the second, however, it posed problems of
Health and continued romantic failures. The former is a true winner.
Not so the second.

What is the life script of a non-winner? The life of a person who does not
dares not to aspire to anything more than a conventional life. They are also called,
trivial scripts.

Sometimes those who apparently win less actually gain more.

Winning and losing are relative.

What is the life script of a failure? Evidently, they are the scripts of people.
dissatisfied for not achieving what they set out to do. They are often people with
big life goals but with a bad ending.

Unlike the successful, the failures have no alternatives to their

plans fail to meet their objectives. In other words: A winner usually has a
Plan B or even C to achieve what one intends. Not so for the failure.

Failure and tragedy

In this category, the so-called hamartic scripts fit. They are scripts
faced with a tragic end (death, suicide, imprisonment, madness,
indigence…). A special chapter, due to its real qualitative impact and
quantitative is that of dependence on substances. Sometimes even on behaviors,
such as gambling addiction or compulsive sex.

In these cases, the addiction to the substance does not play an important role alone.
It is also the addiction to the character. Or, even, to the consumption environment. You can see,
if you wish, my previous article: Grief and rehabilitation of addictions in
psychotherapy

A special mention deserves the book by Claude Steiner: "Games alcoholics play" (I have heard
talk about a translation in Spanish but I haven't located it). I think it is the
first work in which we can appreciate what the life script is in alcoholism.

Initial conclusions and the role of life script therapy.

Given what we've seen so far, it might give the impression that our lives are
determined. That we are "condemned" to repeat certain patterns of attitude and
behavior. It is obvious that these 'semi-acquired' and 'semi-decided' patterns have
a specific weight in our lives. The good news is that any script of
life can be modified. This is what we dedicate ourselves to in a script therapy process.
life.
What is the life script?
It is possible to rewrite the script of your life.

It is important to highlight that the transactional analysis model, despite being

important, it is not the only one in this direction. Moreover, the same model is not
absolute. We can have, for example, a script of failure in the professional realm and another
winner in affection.

The answer to the question of what the life script is can be found in one way.
relatively easy. If we detect repetitive patterns in our lives that do not
we know how we provoke, we can suspect a lot. Although it is very common that, when
to be possessed by these patterns without us even realizing it. As always, the first step
To advance is to acquire awareness.

Freedom must be conquered.

To delve further into what a life script is, I attach bibliography. They are some
transactional analysis books (not generic) that are abundant on the topic. Also
the topic appears in the books of introduction to transactional analysis.

Bibliography:

What do you say after saying hello? Eric Berne

The scripts we live by
"The Guided Man" by Mario Vázquez and Patricia Francica
The Life Script
Games alcoholics play