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Table Of Contents
Introduction ............................................................... 3
Understanding the Female Body ............................................................... 3
The Female Sexual Response ............................................................... 6
Cycle
The Importance of Foreplay ............................................................... 8
Erogenous Zones ............................................................... 9
What if She Says No? ............................................................... 12
Techniques For Mind-Blowing ............................................................... 16
Oral Sex
Tips for Better Oral Sex ............................................................... 16
Technique one: How to perform ............................................................... 18
ORAL SEX
Create a Sensual Atmosphere ............................................................... 18
Find a Comfortable Position ............................................................... 22
Tease Her ............................................................... 24
Giving Her Oral Pleasure ............................................................... 26
Technique two: Oral Sex with ............................................................... 33
Toys
Types of Toys ............................................................... 33
Toy Techniques ............................................................... 34
Technique three: Oral Sex with ............................................................... 37
Anal Stimulation
Using Your Fingers ............................................................... 38
Types of Anal Toys & Techniques ............................................................... 38
Stock up on supplies ............................................................... 39
Special Considerations for Anal ............................................................... 40
Penetration
Oral Stimulation of The Anus ............................................................... 41

In Closing ............................................................... 44
References ............................................................... 45

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Introduction

Oral sex can be one of the most pleasurable, intimate experiences

you and your partner can have together, but it’s also one of the
trickiest forms of sexual play. Women’s bodies can seem a lot
more complicated than male bodies, so it’s easy for men to feel
a little lost and confused when giving their partners cunnilingus.
In this book, I’ll explain the female body, how certain types
of stimulation work well with oral sex and give you tips and
specific instructions about how to give her an explosive
orgasm.

Understanding the Female Body

Before you can give her oral sex, it’s essential that
you have a good understanding of where things are
located. It’s probably been a long time since your
last biology class, so here’s a quick review of the
different parts of a woman’s sexual anatomy.

• Vulva: The collective term for a women’s

external sex organs is the vulva, which
includes everything from the top of the pubic
hairline down to the anus.

• Outer Labia: Also called the “labia majora”

or “outer lips,” the outer labia are the thick,
fleshy upper parts of a woman’s vulva that are
covered with pubic hair. The size of a woman’s
outer labia can vary. Most women are very
sensitive in this area, especially with respect to
light, teasing touches.

• Inner Labia: The inner labia, also called “labia

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minora” or “inner lips,” cover the vaginal opening and urethra. By spreading
open the outer labia, you can see the inner labia on either side of the
vaginal opening. Like the outer labia, the size of a woman’s inner labia can
vary widely in size and appearance. When a woman is aroused, the sensitive
inner labia can swell and become hypersensitive, and it can often become
very responsive to touch.

• Clitoral Hood: The little flap of skin that covers the external tip of the
clitoris is the clitoral hood. It’s a sensitive bit of skin that responds well to
all different kinds of stimulation, mostly because it sends pleasure signals
through to the clitoris. Women who find direct clitoral stimulation too
sensitive might prefer stimulation to the clitoral hood instead.

• Clitoris: Did you know that the

clitoris is the only organ in the
human body that exists solely to Women who find direct
provide sexual pleasure? You’d clitoral stimulation too
better make sure you know where sensitive might prefer
it is! If you hold apart the outer
stimulation to the
labia so that it makes an inverted
U, the external tip of the clitoris clitoral hood instead.
is located at the top, where the
inner lips meet. But that’s just the outside! A woman’s clitoris is actually
about four or five inches long and extends into her body in the form of
“crura” sensitive erectile tissue rife with nerves. During oral sex, you’ll be
stimulating the tip of the clitoris, but she’ll feel the effects much deeper
inside.

• Vagina: You’d better know where this part is located! The vagina is the
opening between the clitoris and anus and, although it isn’t particularly
sensitive to very light touches, will usually respond well to pressure and
other forms of firm stimulation, including penetration.

• Perineum: The small, sensitive flap of skin between the vaginal and anal

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openings is known as the perineum. This area is responsive to gentle
licking and touching.

• G Spot: Named for Ernst Gräfenberg, the physician who “discovered

it,” the G spot is a rough, sensitive patch of skin located on the anterior
internal wall of the vagina, about two inches up. The easiest way to find
the G spot is to cup your hand over your partner’s vulva, palm to skin,
and insert your first two fingers into her vagina, making a “come hither”
motion. The g spot feels rough and textured to the touch and responds
well to direct stimulation during sexual play.

If you’re doing it right, good oral sex will involve stimulation to all these
different parts. Although some areas, like the clitoris, will merit more attention,
it’s critical to involve all parts of her anatomy, not just the obvious ones. You
might be surprised at what the smallest lick to her clitoral hood will do to her!

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The Female Sexual Response Cycle

In 1966, renowned sexologists Masters & Johnson developed a model of female

sexual response that mapped out the four different phases a woman’s body
experiences during sex.

• Phase 1 – Excitement/Arousal
When a woman first experiences any kind of arousal or sexual excitement,
she’s entering Phase 1. If you truly want to please her, it’s a good idea
to spend as much time as you can in this phase, which many people
consider to be foreplay. During Phase 1, the clitoris, labia and inner part
of the vagina may become engorged with blood, making the areas very
sensitive. You may notice she is breathing differently, moaning, squirming,
writhing or panting, and it’s during this phase she will begin lubricating
herself. Although you can certainly begin oral sex as soon as she’s entered
this phase, many women will prefer you spend more time arousing their
erogenous zones before proceeding.

• Phase 2 – Plateau
Once a woman is completely aroused, her body will spend a certain
amount of time experiencing pleasure before she reaches a climax. The
time between arousal and orgasm is known as the plateau phase. During
this time, her clitoris and vaginal tissue will continue to swell with blood
and may begin to contract. Her clitoris may shrink back under the clitoral

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hood a little and shorten in size as the interior portion of the clitoris
becomes more engorged with arousal. You might notice muscle tension,
faster or harder breathing and a “sex flush,” a slight reddening of the skin.
The longer you keep her in the plateau phase, the more powerful a climax
she is likely to experience.

• Phase 3 – Orgasm
Although we tend to think of an orgasm as the ultimate goal to oral sex,
the phase in which it occurs is actually the shortest phase in female sexual
response. You’ll know she’s having an orgasm because the muscles in her
vaginal walls, uterus and anal sphincter will contract rhythmically, her body
will produce more lubrication, her heart rate and blood pressure will peak

and her muscles may spasm. Each of these physical responses is her body’s
way of releasing pleasurable feelings.

• Phase 4 – Resolution
Some people refer to the time immediately following orgasm as
“afterglow,” the time when a woman’s body returns to its nonsexual state.
The blood that has rushed to engorge her sexual organs will flow back to
her body, her muscle tension and flushing skin will return to normal and
she might even be ready for a nap.

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Now that you understand how a woman’s biology relates to her sexual response
cycle, it’s time to put that knowledge to use with foreplay.

The Importance of Foreplay

Most men can get an erection just from thinking about sex, but women aren’t
usually physically aroused as easily for a number of reasons, including emotional
and physical factors. Although it can be fun to skip right to the good stuff from
time to time, the majority of your sexual experiences together should involve a
lot of buildup before the main event.

Foreplay not only readies the body for sex, but also prepares the emotional
part of a woman’s mind. Most women like to be held and kissed, hugged and

caressed, before they are comfortable allowing their partners to progress to

more involved forms of sexual play. By taking the time and making the effort to
engage her emotionally, she’ll be more receptive to your caresses, both manual
and oral.
“Foreplay is crucial for good sex. It’s not just an old wives’ tale that foreplay is
something that people should spend more time doing,” says Debby Herbenick,
PhD, MPH, associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at
Indiana University, Bloomington.

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Scientifically speaking, the purpose of foreplay is to ready a woman’s body for
intercourse and climax. The most obvious result of good foreplay is lubrication;
without the arousal necessary to produce natural lubrication in a woman, she
may remain dry during sex, even oral sex.

According to noted psychosexual therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer, EdD, “It’s

particularly important for women to have successful foreplay because it takes
a woman a longer time to get up to the level of arousal needed to orgasm.” In
other words, her body cycles up more slowly than your own, so you’ll need to
take more time getting her excited before you move onto giving her oral sex. A
few kisses, although nice, won’t do the job; you’ll want to explore her erogenous
zones thoroughly, as I’ll share with you in the next section of this book.

For a more extensive look at foreplay, you can read my book Turn Her on Faster
at www.turnheronfaster.com

Erogenous Zones

Although stimulating a woman’s erogenous zones is an important aspect of

any kind of intimate experience, it’s
especially important when giving her
oral sex, which many women can feel
sensitive or concerned about, as I’ll
explain in the next section. It can be
Foreplay not only readies
difficult for women to relax enough the body for sex, but also
that they feel comfortable sitting back prepares the emotional
and letting her partner take over orally, part of a woman’s mind.
so it’s critical that you do everything you
can to help her feel comfortable.
Prepping her properly with foreplay will
help her connect her mind and body, enabling her to feel a deeper and more
powerful climax when the time comes. Correctly stimulating her erogenous
zones can make the difference between a pleasurable and a mind-blowing oral
experience.

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Women’s bodies differ greatly, so only you and your partner will know what truly
pleases her. Experiment with different kinds of stimulation to the erogenous
zones below, using a combination of touching, kissing and licking.

• Skin: A woman’s skin is the largest organ on her body, and it can often
be the most sensitive, especially to light caressing. Think about how
excited she gets when you kiss her neck or nibble on her earlobes, and
then imagine what she might do when you stimulate other sensitive areas
of her skin! See how she responds when you gently stroke one of these
often-ignored erogenous zones:

• Her inner arm from wrist to elbow

• The sensitive crease behind her knees
• Her inner thighs from her knees to her groin
• Her lower back and buttocks
• The area around her navel and lower belly, just above where her
pubic hair begins

As you touch her, pay attention to her physical response. Is she sighing
or moaning? Is she writhing about and breathing heavily? If so, then keep
doing what you’re doing, because it’s really working for her. If she’s totally

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silent or still, or if she looks like she might
start giggling as if being tickled, then try
something else.

• Breasts: Although some women enjoy

having their breasts caressed and
squeezed, most of the time her nipples are
the most sensitive part of this erogenous
zone. Stimulate the area around her
nipples with a light touch until her nipples
harden, and then focus on stimulating
them with your fingers and tongue. Your
partner might enjoy anything from soft
caress to firm biting. Work up to rougher
forms of play, watching your partner’s
physical response before taking things
further.

• Clitoris: Most people cite the clitoris

as the most sensitive and powerful
erogenous zone on a woman’s body—
and for good reason! The vast majority of
women need clitoral stimulation of some
kind to climax, whether it’s oral or manual
touch. You’ll find lots of information in this
book about using your tongue to pleasure
this erogenous zone; for information about
incorporating manual stimulation, check
out my publication Naughty Fingers at
www.mynaughtyfingers.com

• Vagina: Although the vagina is

certainly an erogenous zone, it
shouldn’t be the first stop on your

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oral journey. The majority of women need a lot more foreplay before you
head south. Instead of focusing on her vaginal passage at the beginning
of oral sex, use your tongue and fingers to stimulate the area around it,
especially her labia. Once she’s aroused, you can add elements that involve
penetration.

• G Spot: Located on the upper inside wall of her vaginal passage, the G
spot is a sensitive area that responds to pressure and direct stimulation.
The same types of light teasing won’t work with the G spot, so when
adding G spot stimulation to oral play, you’ll need to use your fingers or a
sex toy.

• Anus: Even though the anus is comprised of sensitive nerve endings that
respond well to the right kind of touch, anal stimulation is still considered
off-limits by many women. If you’d like to incorporate anal play into oral
sex, talk to your partner first to make sure she’s open to the idea, and then
begin with gentle touching and caressing.

Before you begin to touch her, make sure you’ve stimulated her most
important erogenous zone, her brain. If she’s not in the mood, then she’s not
going to be comfortable receiving oral sex. Create a romantic atmosphere
with conversation, candles and music, and then try stimulating her physical
erogenous zones before moving on to oral sex.

What if She Says No?

The very first thing you need to do is make sure she’s comfortable with oral sex.
Even though it might seem like a no-brainer—who doesn’t love oral sex?—she
might tell you she doesn’t like it. And she’s not alone.

According to a reader survey conducted by MSNBC.com and Elle magazine, of

the 77,895 men and women who responded, four in 10 men said they rarely or
never give oral sex. Of the reasons given for the low percentage, 58% of men
said that their partner didn’t enjoy receiving oral sex.

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In that same survey, 20% of women
revealed that they weren’t comfortable
enough with their genitals to consider
receiving oral sex. Here are a few
reasons why women might not enjoy
oral sex and what you can do to help:

• She’s concerned about

hygiene.
The main reason she might
be reluctant to receive
oral sex is her very real
concern about how she
tastes and smells. The
best thing that you can
do is reassure her that
she’s beautiful and
tastes and smells
just fine. If there
is a problem, take
a shower together
before you give her
oral so that both of you
are squeaky clean. She
might also consider using an
external feminine wash.

• She might be too sensitive.

Some women can’t handle
much direct stimulation to their
clitorises, especially the oral
kind. If your partner falls into
this category, focus more on the
other parts of her sexual anatomy,
saving clitoral stimulation for last.

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• She might not be sensitive enough.
Not every woman is “clitoral,” meaning that some prefer penetration and
might not feel much pleasure from the relatively gentle touch of oral sex.
Although you’ll want to make sure to involve her clitoris at some point,
focus your attention on her vagina and g-spot, penetrating her with your
tongue to bring her to climax.

• She’s worried she might not have an orgasm.

Just as some women have difficulty reaching orgasm during regular
intercourse, others might not climax from oral sex alone. She might be
concerned that all your effort could be in vain. Reassure her that the
experience is about the pleasurable journey, not any kind of destination.

• She’s worried she takes too

long.
Although some lucky women
reach climax quickly, most need
a lot more time, especially with The best thing that you
oral sex. She might think you’re can do is reassure her
unhappy because she needs more that she’s beautiful and
time to achieve orgasm, or she tastes and smells just fine.
simply might not find a full oral
experience to be worth the time
and effort. Aside from reassuring
her that you want to give her as much pleasure as possible, a simple
solution to this problem is to incorporate oral sex into other forms of
erotic play instead of making it the focus.

What feels good to one woman might do nothing for another, so it’s entirely
possible that she just doesn’t like oral sex. However, it’s most likely that if your
partner is reluctant to receive cunnilingus, it’s because of one or more of the
reasons listed above.

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Oral Extras

One of the best things about oral sex is that you never know what’s going to
happen. At the very least, it’ll feel good for her. Ideally, she’ll have a nice orgasm.
However, it’s entirely possible to take things even further, culminating with
multiple orgasms or female ejaculation. Although there’s no guarantee that your
partner will experience either pleasure, as your oral skills improve, so will the
likelihood of her ejaculating or orgasming more than once.

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Techniques For Mind-Blowing Oral Sex

Now that you have a better understanding of how the female body works, it’s
time to put that knowledge to use. As you read through this next section, which
gives you specific techniques to use for giving her amazing oral sex, keep in mind
that these are general tips and guidelines. You and your partner will figure out
what works best for you.
Think of oral sex as a recipe in a cookbook. The first time you try the new recipe,
it’s best to stick to the instructions. However, once you’ve made the dish a few
times, you can tweak the recipe to make it something you, specifically, will enjoy.
Oral sex for her isn’t much different. If you’re new to cunnilingus, follow
the steps I outline, and then try mixing things up a little. Once you are more
proficient, you’ll have a much better idea of what your partner needs for an
earth-shattering climax.

Tips for Better Oral Sex

You’re almost ready to get started, but there are few more things you should
know before giving her oral sex.

• Get clean. At the end of the day, neither of you are at your most hygienic,
which could be an issue given the intimate nature of oral sex. Before
proceeding to the bedroom, take a shower together. Not only will you
both feel fresh and clean afterward, but she won’t worry as much about
her taste and smell. If she’s still concerned, she may find that using an
external wash designed for women will help alleviate any lingering
worries.

• Give yourself a manicure. Although you’ll primarily be using your tongue

and mouth to perform oral sex, you’ll want to use your hands too, so make
sure they’re in the right shape for touching her very sensitive areas. Even
the best oral sex can be ruined by a hangnail. I’m not saying that you have
to go to a nail salon—just make sure your nails are clean and smooth, with
no sharp edges.

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• Shave or trim your beard. The vulva and surrounding areas are covered
with extremely soft, sensitive skin, which can become easily irritated if
your face is stubbly. Give yourself a fresh shave before beginning oral sex,
or, if you wear a beard, trim it carefully.
• “Ladyscape.” Even though trimming or waxing all or some of the pubic
area is common for many women, it’s not the standard for everyone.
If your partner doesn’t “ladyscape” her pubic mound, it’s her choice.
However, if you find that you have difficulty giving her great oral sex
because there’s too much hair in the way, talk to her about the problem.
The solution may be as simple as having her trim the area around her outer
labia.

• Switch it up. Feel free to move around during oral sex, especially if you
find that staying in the same position throughout the experience isn’t
physically comfortable for you.

• Take a break. If your tongue gets

tired or your jaw starts to ache,
take a break from giving her oral
pleasure and use your hands to keep
her feeling good while you rest. It’s Give yourself a fresh
better to take a few small breaks shave before beginning
than give up altogether! oral sex, or, if you wear a
beard, trim it carefully.
Women are the experts on what makes
their individual bodies feel the best, so
encourage her to tell you what is and
isn’t working for her. Keep your ego out
of the way—there is no right or wrong way, only what she enjoys most. Listen
to her feedback, ask questions if you aren’t clear about what she wants, and
incorporate her suggestions immediately.

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Technique one: How to perform
ORAL SEX

The following techniques are meant to

build on each other. Once you have
mastered the basics of oral sex, as
described in the Technique #1, move
onto the next two techniques, which
are more advanced. Regardless
of which technique you use,
you’ll want to read through each
technique carefully to see what you
might want to incorporate.

Create a Sensual Atmosphere

Just as you would with any other

intimate encounter with your partner,
make sure the environment is safe
and sexy so that you can give her the
maximum pleasure. Try these tips
for the most romantic and fulfilling
experience.

• Eliminate Distractions
The last thing you want
to have happen during
oral sex is a distraction
that takes you both out
of the moment. Before
you begin, make sure
you eliminate as many
distractions as possible.
If you have children,

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wait until they’re sleeping. Turn off the TV and put your cell phone on
mute. Lock the bedroom door. Take the landline phone off the hook.

• Appeal to Her Senses

Not enough men realize how important it is to create a total experience
while performing oral sex. The act itself isn’t enough; you must first set the
stage for cunnilingus by creating a space that appeals to all her five senses.
• Sight: Make sure the environment in which you’re planning to
perform oral sex is tidy. Even if you’re not the best at cleaning house,
you can still make sure the sheets are clean, the used dishes are back
in the kitchen and you haven’t left dirty laundry on the floor.

• Sound: Good music can make or break any sexual experience, but
especially oral sex: Can you imagine how unsexy it would be to try
to give good oral sex to a woman when horrible music is playing?
Similarly, you don’t want to have to get up and change the CD mid-
oral. Make a playlist on your iPod or select a few CDs ahead of time,
music you know your partner likes.

• Taste: As I’ve said earlier in this book, women worry a lot about how
they might taste. If she showers first, she’ll be a lot more relaxed.
But you can also appeal to her sense of taste before you begin giving
her cunnilingus by bringing a few tasty things into the bedroom, like
champagne, strawberries or whipped cream.

• Smell: Aside from making sure she smells good, you’ll want to
appeal to her sense of smell by making sure the environment smells
good. Scented candles or incense are popular ways to create a
relaxing, spa-like atmosphere.

• Touch: Tactile stimulation is so important! She’s going to be

spending a lot of time on the bed, so make sure the bed is
comfortable and conducive to an amazing oral experience. Invest in
quality sheets and bedding, and make sure they’re clean before your
romantic encounter.

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• Create Romance
Even if your partner loves oral, she probably doesn’t want you to attack
her the moment she walks in the door, exhausted from a long day. Give
her a little time to unwind, and then turn up the romance factor by wooing
her a little before you take her to the bedroom. Try a few of these ideas to
relax her and get her in the mood.

• Be ready to go when she gets home. Shave, take care of your nails,
put on clean clothes, wear cologne if she likes it and otherwise make
sure you look and smell good.

• Talk to her. She may want to decompress a little at the end of a

long day, which might include venting about a coworker or relating a
frustrating experience. Ask her how her day went, and listen!

• Compliment her. Women usually don’t want to be intimate when

they aren’t looking or feeling their best. Tell her how beautiful she is
and how much you love being with her. Compliment her outfit, shoes
or hair. Be honest and sincere!

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• Take care of dinner, whether that
means cooking, getting takeout
or delivery or taking her to a
restaurant. If you choose to
eat at home, take care of the
cleanup, too.

• Open a bottle of wine. If

you and your partner
enjoy a wine, have
a nice bottle of
red opened or
chill a bottle
of white. The
goal isn’t to get
drunk, but to loosen
up a little. If she isn’t
a wine drinker, open her
favorite beer or make her a
cocktail. If she doesn’t drink
at all, consider getting her a
decadent dessert instead.

Even if you can’t rent a horse and carriage

or carry her off to a romantic hotel, you can
still sweep her off her feet with romance.
Try a grand gesture, like carrying her to the
bedroom or washing her hair and body before
intimacy. Make her feel special and loved.
Once you’ve created the sensual environment,
she’ll be more open to oral administrations.

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Find a Comfortable Position

One of the chief complaints I hear from men is that because giving her oral sex
can take a long time, they can become physically uncomfortable after a while.
Although her pleasure is most important, if you get a crick in your neck while
performing cunnilingus, you might be so focused on your own discomfort that
you have trouble concentrating on the task at hand: bringing her to oral climax.
Try one (or more!) of these positions.

• Man on Top
The most common way to perform cunnilingus is with the woman lying on
her back on the bed while you lie between her legs with your head over
her vulva. The benefits to this position are clear: You’ll have the easiest
access to her pleasure spots. However, people with smaller beds might
have trouble with this position, and it can be hard on your neck and lower
back. If you’re new to giving her oral sex, try this position first. If you have
physical trouble sustaining it long enough to bring her to orgasm, try one
of the other positions.

• Kneeling
A variation of the basic “man on
top” position, a kneeling position Give her a little time to
offers greater comfort to you
unwind, and then turn
while pleasuring her. Have her lie
on the bed with the backs of her
up the romance factor
knees at the edge of the bed and by wooing her a little
her feet touching the floor; kneel before you take her to
on the floor between her legs. the bedroom.
This position works well for you
because you can kneel or sit in the position that is most comfortable for
you. It’s good for her because you’ll have better access to sensitive parts of
her skin, like her inner thighs. If you like the idea of this position but aren’t
physically comfortable kneeling, find a chair that puts you at the right
height.

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• Woman on Top
In this position, you lie on the bed while your partner straddles your face
at the top of the bed. She might like this position best as it will give her
more control over her pleasure: She can move around and steer you
toward areas she’d like stimulated. It’s also easier for you! You’ll be in the
most comfortable position in bed, so you may be able to spend more time
pleasuring her. You can also move her around more, holding her buttocks
from behind to guide her to your mouth and tongue. However, not all
women like this position best. She may find that she feels too exposed or
uncomfortable with her body to really enjoy herself. If that’s the case, try
one of the other positions.

• From Behind
Another common way to perform oral sex is from behind her. Have her
kneel on the bed on all fours, as she would if you were having intercourse
from behind (“doggy style”). Kneel, lie or sit behind her—whatever is most
comfortable for you—while you give her oral sex. She can either remain
on all fours or lie over pillows to keep her body raised in back, giving you
access to her body. Of course, you’ll have to make a few adjustments to
your technique! You’ll basically be doing everything backward, so you may
want to master one of the other positions first. However, once you know
what pleases her, you may find that she prefers this position most.

• 69
Giving each other oral sex at the same time can be extremely pleasurable
for both of you. However, it can also be very distracting! If she’s making
you feel so good that you can’t concentrate on her pleasure, then you
won’t be able to give her good oral sex. Once you get better at performing
cunnilingus, try the 69 position. Until then, stick with a position that allows
you to focus on what you’re doing.

Both of you will enjoy this more if you’re both physically comfortable. Use
pillows and be creative with oral sex positions so that you are both relaxed and
feel like you can move around. Some people will find it hard on their neck to lie

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between their partners legs with their head poised over her vulva. For others
this will work just great. Remember that it’s okay to change positions and move
around.

Tease Her

You’ve set a romantic atmosphere and found a position that works for you, so
now it’s time to start giving her oral. Before you “go for the gold” and start using
your tongue and mouth to stimulate her vulva, tease her a little to rev her up.
Try these moves:

• Give her a neck and shoulder massage, which will not only release
any lingering tension she might be experiencing, but also give you the
opportunity to begin touching her in a sensual manner. Erotic massage is a
great way to begin the experience.

• Stroke her body. Refer back to the earlier section of this book, in which I

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discuss her erogenous zones. Use your fingers and hands to lightly touch
her neck, arms, abdomen, legs, back and buttocks. Take your time—the
more foreplay you give her, the more sexually excited she’ll become
and the more open she’ll be to relaxing and enjoying herself. Use gentle
caressing first, and then try using your fingernails to very lightly tease her
skin.

• Kiss her. Of course you’ll want to kiss your partners lips, but for good oral,
you’ll want to go a bit further. Before you get your mouth anywhere near
her vulva or clitoris, use your tongue and lips to kiss her skin, traveling
the same route as your fingers and hands did when you were stroking her
body. This kind of foreplay will not only get her into the mood, but will also
make a nice transition between touching and oral. Try a few of these ideas:

• Kiss a path from her neck to her breasts, first using only your lips,
and then involving the tip of your tongue.

• Gently nibble and lick a path along her inner arms, starting at the
wrist and ending at the crease of her elbow.

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• Kiss and tongue the erogenous zones on her skin, like the area
around her navel, her back and her nipples.

• Kiss and lick in a line up from the back of her knees and up the inner
edges of her thighs. Spend a lot of time kissing and licking the tops
of her inner thighs, just below her pubic mound. This will drive her
crazy!

• Kiss the area around her pubic mound, and then go back and use
your tongue on the same area.

Although it’s a good idea to incorporate all these moves, you don’t have to do
them in order, and you don’t have to do each thing once. In fact, it’s better if
you mix things up a bit! She won’t know what’s coming next, which will keep her
panting and on the edge.

As you continue kissing, licking and nibbling, escalate the action, starting
out slowly and picking up the pace until she’s ready for more. Once you’ve
thoroughly aroused her, you can move on to give her amazing oral sex.

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Giving Her Oral Pleasure

Once you’ve spent time arousing her mind and body, you can move onto the
main event: mind-blowing oral sex. Although there’s no right or wrong way to
orally pleasure, beginners should follow this basic plan before improvising.

1 Spread her legs. You might already have been kissing her inner thighs, so
her legs might already be spread, but make sure you have enough room
when you start orally manipulating her. She should be comfortable, so
don’t spread her legs too wide.

2 Kiss the area around her vulva. Use your tongue and lips to stimulate the
area around her vulva, including the area just above her pubic hair and
the very tops of her inner thighs. Move around the vulva to place kisses
and licks around her entire pubic area. At the same time, use your fingers
to stroke areas of her skin that your lips aren’t touching, like her abdomen,
buttocks and lower back, if you can reach it.

3 Open her lips. Use both hands to gently spread her outer labia, which
will give you access to her vagina, clitoris and clitoral hood. Start by
lightly kissing and nuzzling the sensitive areas you reveal until she’s
begging for more.

4 Trace her inner labia with the tip of your tongue, first up one side, and
then the other. Interchange kissing and nibbling with tonguing.

5 Lap the area from her vaginal opening to her clitoral hood. Start lightly,
and then increase the pressure, using only the tip of your tongue at first,
and then using your whole tongue as she becomes more excited.

6 Start licking! The most important thing to remember when performing

oral sex on her is that women generally respond best to variety. Just as
with any other sensitive body part, the same kind of stimulation repeated
over and over again can quickly desensitize the area, and she won’t feel
the same degree of pleasure. Incorporate a few of these moves while
pleasuring her.

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• Lapping
The basic starter move is
lapping, which is exactly
what it sounds like! Think
of how a dog or cat laps up
water from a bowl, using a
curved tongue, and use the
same move on your partner.
You can start by lapping
her clitoris, and then move
onto lapping the whole
area, including the vaginal
opening and perineum.

• Flicking
Using only the tip of your
tongue, give her firm, rapid
licks on the tip of her clitoris
or on her clitoral hood,
whichever she prefers;
both techniques are fine.
As you’re flicking your
tongue, tilt your head in
different directions so that
she feels different kinds of
stimulation.

• Kissing
This move is as easy as it
sounds: use your lips and
tongue to kiss her vulva as
you’d kiss her mouth. Start
with gentle kisses, moving
around her vulva, inner

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thighs and perineum, and then graduate to more passionate kissing,
focusing on one area at a time.

You can even try “French kissing” her vaginal opening, penetrating her
with your tongue.

• The Circle
Use the tip of your tongue to form circles around her clitoris, changing
directions frequently to keep things interesting for her. You can also
use your lips or face in a circular motion on different parts of her vulva,
especially over the clitoral hood, perineum and vaginal opening.

• The Alphabet
This is a fun one! Using your tongue, spell out the alphabet on and
around her clitoral hood. You can simply go through the ABC’s, but you
can also spell out words, like “I love you” or “you make me so happy.”
She won’t know what you’re spelling, but she’ll love the variation as you
lick different letters.

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• Tapping
This involves using the tip
of your finger to tap the
clitoral hood. The fast,
gentle pressure can be highly
arousing for her. You can also
use this move during oral
sex, tapping just the tip of
your tongue on her clitoris
and clitoral hood. If you want
to be extra-creative, tap
out love messages in Morse
code!

7 Mix it up! If you keep using

the same tongue move
for too long, she’ll become
desensitized to the sensation
and won’t feel as much
pleasure. While you’re licking
her clitoris and clitoral hood,
switch your styles around so she
won’t know what’s coming next.

8 Return to home base. Use as

many different licking
techniques as you’d like and
make sure you’re licking all the
different parts of her vulva, but
always redirect your attentions
back to her clitoris or clitoral
hood.

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9 Penetrate her with your tongue. Use the same sort of moves you’d use
when having intercourse: in and out, around in a circle, different depths
and speeds. This particular move probably won’t bring her to orgasms, but
it feels wonderful and makes for a nice interlude between types of clitoral
stimulation.

10 Suck her clitoris. Be very careful with this move as some women will
find it too intense. Gently expose the clitoris by holding back the
clitoral hood. Then purse your lips and suck on her clitoris very gently.
You can also try nibbling it a little, but pay close attention to her body
movements and responses; not every woman enjoys the feeling of teeth,
no matter how lightly you use them. Your partner may also find direct
clitoral stimulation to be too intense for them. In this case, focus your
licking on her clitoral hood.

11 Use your fingers. While your tongue is busy, don’t let your hands sit
idle! You may choose to use your fingers to keep her outer labia open,
but it’s a great idea to continue to stroke her while you’re giving her oral
sex. You can also penetrate her with one or more fingers while you lick her
clitoris.

12 As you are performing these different techniques, pay attention to her

body language. If she’s writhing around and moaning, you are giving
her what she needs. If she seems uncomfortable or isn’t enjoying herself,
try a different move. Keep things interesting by mixing licks—she won’t
know what’s coming next, which can be really exciting.

13 As you continue to lick, nibble and nuzzle her, escalate the action. Start
slowly, and then move faster. Start gently, and then increase the
pressure of your tongue. As she continues to become more and more
aroused, she’ll reach the “plateau” phase of her sexual arousal cycle. Keep
her at the phase for as long as possible before guiding her to orgasm, and
her climax will be even more powerful.

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14 As you feel her body moving toward orgasm,
continue to escalate your movements until
her body is taut and her muscles are tensed with
pleasure.

15 When you feel her start to get close to

climaxing, focus your attentions on the
kind of stimulation she enjoys best until she
has an orgasm. Most women enjoy a variety of
stimulation during oral sex, but find that when
they’re getting ready to climax, they need the
same type of stimulation to achieve orgasm. In
other words, if what you’re doing has brought
her close to the edge, keep doing what you’re
doing until she climaxes.

Once she’s had an orgasm (or maybe more

than one!), give her a few moments to relax. If
cunnilingus is the end of your romantic interlude,
hold her as you would after intercourse until her
breathing is back to normal, and then enjoy the
cuddling and intimacy of the afterglow. If oral sex
is the prelude to penetration, give her a moment
to recover, and then move on to the next activity.

This technique covers the basics of oral sex

from beginning to end. If you follow my
instructions carefully, you’ll provide your
partner with an amazing experience. Once
you know what works best for her, you
might want to progress to more advanced
techniques.

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Technique two: Oral Sex with Toys

If you followed the advice I gave in the first technique, you’re well on your way
to becoming a pro at giving her oral sex. If you and your partner are satisfied
with your skills and don’t want to add anything fancy, then you’re still doing
great—you’re giving your partner what she wants and needs. However, if
you’d like to add a few exciting elements to your oral play, you might want to
experiment with sex toys.

Types of Toys

If you’ve ever been to an adult store, online or in person, you might have been
a little confused by all the different toys. You aren’t alone! The sex toy industry
makes a lot of money coming up with new items to stimulate your partner, and
some of them can seem downright mysterious. The good news is that there are
a few basic toys that work well when combined with oral sex, which narrows
down the selection quite a lot.

• Vibrators: A little vibration can send your partner over the edge, but
when using a vibrator in combination with oral sex, things start to get a
little tricky. The intense stimulation from a vibrator can quickly desensitize
especially sensitive areas, especially the clitoris and clitoral hood. If you’d
like to try adding a vibe to your oral play, save it for the end, so that her
intimate areas will respond to your touch during oral sex. You can try using
the tip of a standard or mini vibrator on her clitoral hood as she’s starting
to climax, or try inserting a toy into her vaginal opening during oral sex.

• Dildos: Some women find it difficult to climax without penetration; others

just really enjoy it. If your partner falls into one of these two categories,
you’ll definitely want to try using a dildo during oral sex. Let her decide
what size and shape toy she prefers—she may want something big or
small, hard like glass or steel, or soft like latex or realistic materials. If
you’ve never used a dildo with your partner, ask her to show you what
feels good to her. You should also find out if she prefers penetration at the
end of oral sex or throughout.

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• G Spot Stimulators: Because the G spot responds best to firm pressure,
your tongue won’t be strong enough to use for this form of play. Even
if you have the strongest tongue in the world, you still probably won’t
be able to reach it because it is located a few inches inside the vaginal
opening, on the anterior side of her vaginal wall. If your partner enjoys G
spot stimulation and would like to try it in conjunction with oral sex, you’ll
need to invest in a special toy made just for G spot stimulation. You’ll have
plenty of options, so, again, let your partner decide what will work best for
her. As with using a dildo, find out how much stimulation she wants and
when she’d like to receive it.

You’ll find lots of other kinds of toys available at adult stores, so once you’ve
mastered the basics of oral sex with toys, it might be fun to try something new,
just to see if it will work, like nipple clamps or anal toys. Again, let your partner
be the one to decide what she wants to try, and listen to and incorporate her
feedback when you’re using toys to pleasure her during cunnilingus.

Toy Techniques

Using toys during cunnilingus is all about timing. Your partner may want toy
stimulation throughout oral sex, but most women enjoy it most during the end
of the experience. If that’s the case with your partner, try these moves during
the latter part cunnilingus.

Using a Dildo

1 After you’ve been pleasuring her with your tongue for a while (“a while”
will be different for every couple), insert just the tip of the dildo into her
vaginal opening.

2 Next, slowly press it inward until it’s about halfway in. Pause and pay
attention to how your partner is responding. Once you’re sure she’s
comfortable, move onto the next step.

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3 Insert the dildo the
rest of the way into
her vaginal passage.
Again, make sure
your partner is still
comfortable.

4 Begin to push the

dildo in and out of
her vagina, being very
gentle at first. As you
continue to lick her clitoris
or clitoral hood, use the
dildo to penetrate her faster.
Match your speed with her body’s
contortions; as you see she’s getting
closer to climax, move the dildo faster,
being careful not to hurt her.

5 As she’s starting to climax, adjust your

penetration according to what she needs to
have an orgasm. This last step will differ from
woman to woman, so try both techniques and see
which works better:
• Continue to penetrate her in and out until she
climaxes.
• Hold the dildo deep inside her during orgasm.

Using G Spot Stimulators

1 Follow Steps 1 through 3 as listed above.

2 Once you’ve inserted the g spot stimulator, make sure it’s in

the right place. If you aren’t sure, ask your partner.

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3 Use the toy to begin applying pressure to the g spot. Your partner may
enjoy this throughout oral sex, or may only want intense, direct pressure
at the end. Follow her guidelines.

4 If your partner enjoys it, try using the g spot stimulator as you would a
dildo, inserting and removing it with a steady rhythm.

5 As your partner reaches climax, apply firm, constant pressure to the g

spot. If you’re using a vibrating g spot stimulator, wait until just before
climax to turn it on.

Using Vibrators

As mentioned previously, intense vibration can quickly desensitize the clitoris,

clitoral hood and the surrounding areas, so timing is important when you’re
using a vibrator during oral sex.

1 As you’re using your tongue to stimulate her, use one of your hands to
run the vibrator over the sensitive flesh of her inner thighs and
abdomen and around her vulva.

2 Hold the tip of the vibrator to her perineum, which will send vibrations
toward her pleasure centers without desensitizing them.

3 Insert the vibrator into her vagina as she’s moving toward orgasm and
turn it on when she’s just about to climax.

Once you’ve concluded your oral sex session, be sure to clean your toys
carefully, first removing any batteries and using the right kind of cleaner
for your toy and the material it’s made from. Dry the toys and store them
separately from the batteries, which will prolong the life of your toys.

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Technique three: Oral Sex with Anal Stimulation

Before I begin to explain this technique, I must caution you: anal stimulation
isn’t for everyone. Many people still consider anal play to be dirty, taboo
or unappealing. However, you won’t know if you and your partner like anal
stimulation during oral sex until you try it! Talk to her about it and see what she
thinks. If she decides she doesn’t like it, you don’t have to do it again.

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For a good discussion about how to talk to your partner about exploring
anal play, you can read my eBook Anal Pleasure for Her available at www.
analpleasureforher.com

Using Your Fingers

If you’re new to anal play and aren’t sure if you and your partner will like it,
try using only your fingers to stimulate the area. The first time you try anal
play while giving her oral sex, try just touching her anus as she reaches climax,
applying more pressure as her orgasm continues. You can also try inserting
your finger during just before orgasm, which can increase the sensation
exponentially. Be sure your finger is well lubricated, and only insert one to begin
with. Once your partner is more comfortable with anal penetration, you can try
inserting more than one finger. Try shunting your finger in and out, or simply
leave it in place while she climaxes.

Types of Anal Toys & Techniques

There are almost as many toys for anal play as there are types of toys for vaginal
play, so expect to spend a little time browsing for the right one. Your partner

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may be a little shy about shopping for anal toys, so an online store might be your
best bet.

Each type of toy creates an entirely different sensation, so keep your partners
needs and preferences in mind when you’re considering what kind of anal toys
she might like.

• Anal Vibrators: Use internally or externally to add vibrating stimulation to

the anus and/or rectal passage. During oral, you can either insert an anal
vibrator or use only the tip to stimulate her anus. Never use a vibrator or
any other anal toy unless you also use plenty of lubrication, natural or lube,
to keep the area moist.

• Anal Plugs: Insert an anal plug before or during oral sex for a feeling of
fullness. Remember to use lots of lubricant and go very slowly, giving her
plenty of time to accommodate the plug. Some women may enjoy the
feeling of having the plug removed during the moment of orgasm, and
some may prefer to have it inside them still when they climax.

• Anal Dildos: Use an anal dildo as you would a vaginal dildo, but make
sure to be much gentler, and stay in touch with your partner’s physical
response. She may only want you to insert it, as you would with an anal
plug, but she might also enjoy repeated penetration.

• Anal Beads: Anal beads are a series of connected beads that are either
the same size or graduated in size, with the smallest bead at the bottom.
Insert anal beads before or during oral sex, and then slowly remove them
at the moment of orgasm. Again, use lots of lube!

Stock up on supplies

Once you and your partner decide to try anal penetration during cunnilingus,
you’ll need a few specific supplies:

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• Anal Lubricant: Lube formulated especially for anal play is thicker than
regular lube, which is an important factor for any kind of anal penetration.
If you are planning to insert a toy or finger during anal play, make sure to
use lots of anal lubricant.

• Latex Gloves: If you’re concerned about the possibility of encountering

fecal matter while using your fingers for anal penetration, put on a pair of
latex gloves first. Make sure your partner understands that you are using
the gloves because you want to keep things clean, and not because you
find the task dirty or unpleasant.

• Condoms: If you are using a toy for anal penetration during oral sex, it’s
a good idea to cover the toy with a condom before using it. Not only will
it keep the toy cleaner and make general cleanup easier, but it will also
prolong the life of the sex toy.

You’ll also want to keep something on hand for cleanup, like a paper towels or
wipes.

Special Considerations for Anal Penetration

If you and your partner decide you want to try adding anal stimulation to
cunnilingus, keep a few important factors in mind:

• Be gentle, especially if anal penetration is new for you and your partner.
The anus is covered with very sensitive nerve endings that are easily
damaged when treated too roughly. Make sure your fingernails are
smooth and clean.

• Go SLOW. I cannot stress this enough! Anal penetration can be

uncomfortable at first, so take your time if you’re using your fingers or
a toy to add anal stimulation to oral sex. Move inward a little at a time,
giving her a chance to accustom herself to the new sensation.

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• Lubrication is essential. Although your
tongue and her juices will produce
plenty of moisture, her anal passage,
unlike her vagina, doesn’t produce
its own lubrication. She may be wet
enough that you can use her natural
vaginal lubrication to moisten your
finger enough for anal penetration, but
if she isn’t, a little anal lubricant will do
the job.

• Bacteria are a real concern when you’re

combining anal penetration with vaginal
fingering or the use of sex toys. The
general rule is that once something
has penetrated your partner’s anus, it
doesn’t go back into her vagina until
it’s been thoroughly washed. You can
also interchange fingers if you’re using
manual stimulation—just remember
which fingers have gone where.

The first few times you and your partner

try anal penetration during oral sex,
go very slow and stay in constant
communication with your partner. The
anal area is very sensitive to pain and
pleasure, so until you know what really
drives her wild, be cautious and gentle.

Oral Stimulation of The Anus

Also known as “anilingus,” oral stimulation

of the anus can be quite exciting for

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the right couple. You can’t be in two places at once, so if you’re incorporating
anilingus into your oral play, you’ll need to focus on one area or the other.

1 Because anilingus can be extremely stimulating, you’ll want to build up

to it. Don’t begin your oral administrations in that area; save it for at
least halfway through the cunnilingus.

2 Once you’ve been licking and kissing your partners vulva, clitoris and
clitoral hood for a while, gently touch her anus with your finger.

3 Holding her legs open, move your tongue to her anus and gently begin
tracing the outline with the tip of your tongue.

4 As she responds to your tongue’s movements on her anus, move your

fingers back to her vulva and gently stimulate her clitoral hood.

5 If you and your partner are open to the idea, insert your tongue into her
anus and move it in and out a few times. NOTE: Once you insert your
tongue into her anus, it isn’t safe to insert it into her vaginal opening.

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6 Switch back to licking her clitoral hood, clitoris and/or vaginal opening,
continuing to stimulate her anus with your fingers.

7 If she’s not yet approaching orgasm, switch back and forth between her
vulva and anus, mixing things up so she doesn’t know what’s coming
next.

8 Once she approaches orgasm, flick your tongue against her clitoris or
clitoral hood until she climaxes. During this time, you can continue to
use toys or your fingers to stimulate her anus.

If you try anal play in conjunction with oral sex and don’t like it, don’t despair!
Anal isn’t for everyone. However, if you and your partner find that you both
enjoy this kind of stimulation, it can add an exciting element to oral sex.

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In Closing

I hope this book has given you deep insight into

one of the most pleasurable forms of sexual play,
oral sex for her. As you put my advice into practice,
try not to feel frustrated if something new doesn’t
work perfectly the first time. Consider my tips
and instructions to be merely guidelines as you as
your partner incorporate this fun form of play into
your sexual repertoire. Over time, and with lots of
practice, you and your partner will find the best
combination of oral stimulation for her body.

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