Parts Work Steps

Internal Family Systems by Richard Schwartz

Essential Questions
(Not in any way complete. Just to give a general
IFS Steps
idea, but these should be the minimum we have
memorized.)

1. Naming the Issue & Identifying Parts “What parts are you most aware of?”
(Livestream Video)
Work with
Protectors 2. Unblending & Nurturing Self-to-Parts “How do you feel toward that part?”
Part 1: Relating (especially towards exiles) (Livestream Video)
Youtube
Video: IFS
Questions 3. Contracting (if necessary) “If it was possible to help the part in pain, would
you be open to that?”
(Livestream Video)

4. Witnessing “What does this part need you to know?”

(Livestream Video)

5. Do-over/Redo “How can you be there for this part in the way it
needed?” and “(If it was entirely safe to do so)
What does this part need to say or do that it
didn’t get to?”
(Livestream Video)

6. Retrieval “Would this part like to come with you?”

Work with (Livestream Video)
Exiles
7. Unburdening “What is this part carrying (feelings and beliefs)
that it would like to get rid of/that aren’t a part
of who it really is?”
(Livestream Video)

8. Invite “What would this part like to reclaim that may

have gotten lost along the way?” and “What
would this part like to give more space for which
didn’t get a chance to develop fully?”
(Livestream Video)

Work with 9. Protector Check-in/Re-role “What was this part (really) meant to do (now
Protectors that the pain is healed)?”
END OF (Livestream Video)
PART 1
YOUTUBE
VIDEO

Parts-Work Steps
(Internal Family Systems / Gestalt / Conscious Heart Integration)
Complied by Uri Talmor

Last updated 1/18/25

In the Steps Column:
Purple for any parts
Light Green for protector parts
Light Blue for protected parts
In the Questions Column:
Dark Green generally means to proceed
Red means address something else first
Pink signifies optional-ish responses
Dark Blue distinguishes between multiple options
Dark Purple means you may consider doing both
Interventions in Brown will be addressed elsewhere (TBD)
(YouTube Livestream explanation)
Continuous Pause, Allow, Appreciate (for any significant sensation or emotion). “Pause and allow,
BEGINNING OF PART there’s nothing you need to do or change, just be with and allow whatever is happening
II VIDEO [until it settles]. [After there is settling] Take a moment to appreciate how that just
Part II, YouTube IFS shifted.” (6) (Livestream Video)
Questions Livestream
Video -“As you keep your attention on it, notice how it responds.” (2) (Livestream Video)

-“Is this more than you can handle?” [If It’s not too much.] “Let it know it’s not too
much…Notice how it responds.” (Livestream Video)

-“Can you just stay with it?” (Livestream Video)

-“Let it know it can have all the time it needs.” (Livestream Video)

-“Give it all the time it needs to self-organize and/or self-renew.” (17) (Livestream Video)

Continuous (Trust the client's inherent wholeness and capacity to heal) (Livestream Video)

Contracting “Is there any part of you that has concerns about going inside? (1) (Livestream Video)

Identifying Parts “Is there a part you’d like to work with?” (1) (Livestream Video)

Identifying Parts “Would you like to tune in and see what parts most need attention?” (1) (Livestream
Video)

Identifying Parts “Can we name that as a part of you?” (3) (Livestream Video)

Identifying Parts “Sounds like you have a part that _______ and a part that _______.” (1) (Livestream
Video)

Identifying Parts “You have a part that judges this voice/feeling/part (exile) and wants to push it away?”
(3) (Livestream Video)

Continuous/ “What do you notice now (in your experience)? (4) (Livestream Video)
Awareness Continuum/
Identifying Parts/ “What do you notice now in your body?” (4) (Livestream Video)
Felt-sense

Awareness Continuum/ “How do you notice this part/feeling?” (4) (Livestream Video)
Flesh out/Felt Sense

Flesh Out/Felt Sense “Where do you feel this part/feeling in or around your body?” (1) (Livestream Video)

“Is it more like a solid, a liquid, or a gas?” (7) (Livestream Video)

“What temperature does it seem to be? Cold, cool, body temperature, warm, or hot? (7)

“Does this felt sense have any movement, or is it stationary?” (7)

“If you listen internally, do you notice any inner sound or voice?” (7) (Livestream Video)
“If it could speak, what would it say?” (4) (Livestream Video)

Flesh Out “Do you get an image of this part?” (1) (Livestream Video)
END OF VIDEO II
“Can you see this part in your mind’s eye?” (3)

Self-to-part relationship “Is this part aware of you?” (3)

Identifying parts/ “Does this part know how old you are?” (5)
Self-to-part relationship [If not] “Is this part open to finding out your current age?”
[If the part says “yes.”] “Gently update this part about your age.”
[After being updated] “How does this part respond?” (1)

Identifying parts/ “How old does this part think you are?” (5)
Self-to-part relationship [If the age is anything other than the client’s current age.] “Was there anything
significant going on at that age (that was named)?”
[Next.] “How do you feel towards that part?”
[After the Self-to-part relationship is established.] “Let this (intermediary) part know
that it no longer has to take care of this (initially contacted) part.”
[Next, if there’s time to be even more thorough, the intermediary part can be asked…]
“How old does this part think you are?” […and you repeat this process until the parts
reach the client’s current age. With each new part discovered, like a Russian doll, you let
it know it no longer has to be responsible for caring for the younger part(s).]

Self-to-part relationship “Take a moment and just be aware of the part. Just be with it, and notice how it
responds to your attention.” (2)

Self-to-part relationship “Are you available/able to listen to this part?” (3)

Identifying Introjects [If the part is any combination of especially uncooperative, mean, or creates an
experience that the work is slowed down or dragging…] “Does this voice remind you of
anyone?” (8)
[or]
“Does this voice sound familiar?” (8)
[If not, continue attempts to flesh out/befriend/unblend protector part.]
[If the part seems to be even partially an introject/imprint/acquired.] Ask, “How much
of this is yours, and how much of this is acquired.” (8)

[After ratio/percentage is shared.] “Notice what it’s like to see that some of this is
actually (person who’s energy was acquired).” [This usually brings relief.]

Containing Introjects [If person feels unsafe with introject or introject is or was significantly problematic]
“Imagine containing this person in a block of ice…notice how that feels…if you would
like to send this person away now, do that and notice how that feels.” (13)

Introject “Are there any concerns about sending this back to that person/its source?”
Unburdening/Concerns [If not] “Go ahead and send it back (you can imagine this person going back as if on a
zip-line), and notice how that feels.” (8)
[If yes, the concerns almost always come from a younger part, and their logic is usually
easily addressed. Common concerns are 1. Feeling responsible for the other person.
2. Not wanting to harm the other person 3. Fear of losing connection with the other
person 4. Not knowing who they’d be without the other person’s feelings/beliefs.]
[For 1] “Let the part know it was not responsible for this other person’s care, they were
just a child.” [and/or] “Ask the other person if they ever would have wanted the client to
carry this.”
[and/or]
[For 2] “Let the part see that this other person is already carrying this energy (and
would not be harmed by having this energy returned).” [and/or] “Ask this part if it’s
carrying the energy ever helped (or changed anything for) the other person.”
[and/or]
[For 3] “Let this part see how it can still stay connected/care for this other person
without taking on their feelings/beliefs.” [and/or] “Gently update this part and let it see
how you can stay connected to this person in other (healthier) ways.”
[and/or]
[For 4] “Ask this part to ask, ‘who am I?’ And see what comes to it…‘who am I?’”

Introject Empty Chair “If it was safe to say anything to this person (introject), what would this part say?…How
Dialogue does the person (introject) respond?…How do you/does this part respond? [Let the
dialogue continue until there is resolution/repair or enough healthy anger is generated
for the client to set a boundary to unburden the introject (if the latter happens, the client
will eventually feel that they are “done”).]

“Pretend this person (introject) heard everything you’ve shared. How does it respond?
…How do you respond to that?” [Let the dialogue continue until there is
resolution/repair or enough healthy anger is generated for the client to set a boundary
by unburdening the introject (if the former happens, the client will eventually feel that
they are “done”).]

The Family Story by Arnold Patent

Identifying Parts “How do you feel toward that (protector/manager/firefighter) part?” (1) [We can check
Part 4: YouTube Video, whenever we are in doubt or when we think sending a part Self-energy would be
IFS Questions Begin helpful.]

Identifying Parts “How do you feel toward that (protected/exile) part?” (1) [We can check whenever we
are in doubt or when we think sending a part Self-energy would be helpful.]

Self-to-part relationship [If the feeling toward a part is positive (especially towards protected/exile parts).] “Can
you send the part your [curiosity] [care] [understanding] and notice how it responds.”

Unblending/Befriending [If the feeling toward a protected/exile part is negative, such as frustration, distrust, or
dislike, you are dealing with a protector part (or introject), and you can try to empathize
with the protector part’s need.] “Sounds like this part needs safety/respect/boundaries.”
(11)
[If correct.] Can you let this part know you get it/understand?” (1)

[If the protector part’s need isn’t clear, it’s more empathic to try and guess (instead of
asking what the need is).]
“Did this part need (safety) (respect) (understanding)?” (11)

[If the protector part’s needs is not clear enough to guess, the last resort is to ask.]
“What is this part needing?” (11)

Unblending/Befriending [If the feeling towards a part is negative, such as frustration, distrust, or dislike,
empathize with why this part may judge the target part.] “Of course, it makes sense why
you may not like these uncomfortable feelings.”
or
“Let it know you understand its need for safety/control/calmness/etc.” (8)
[capture the impact of such empathy.] “How does it respond?”
[and/or]
[If this empathy seemed to have a positive impact, explore unblending.] “Would this
part be willing to relax/step back and let you see if you can help this (exile) part.”
[and/or]
[If this empathy seemed to have a positive impact, see if the part feels more trust.] “Does
this part feel like it can trust you (enough)?”

Self-to-part relationship/ “Can you ask that (protector/manager) part to relax/step back?” (1)
unblending

Identifying [If yes, reassess Self-to-part relating.] “How do you feel towards the part now?”
Parts/Unblending

Unblending/ “If it was possible to help this other [exile] part feel better, would this [protector] part be
Contracting willing to relax/step back?” (1)

Unblending/Contracting [If it won’t] “What is it concerned/afraid would happen if it did step back?” [Then
address the concern(s). Common protector concerns are 1. These feelings will never go
away 2. These feelings will be too much. 3. The therapist will judge the client for exiles 4.
The clients’ external environment is not safe. 5. Accessing exiles will trigger firefighters.]
(1)

Contracting/ “If it was possible to heal this part, would this part like to have a different role (and
Re-role what would it be)?” (1)

Befriending/ “What is this part afraid would happen if it didn’t do its job?”
Contracting/
Re-role

Unblending/ “Can this (protector) part share when this role was necessary (and potentially life-
Befriending saving)?” (8)

Befriending/ [When the work stalls out, it can be helpful to check on trust.] “Does this part trust you?
Contracting/ (8)
Trust Bridge
[If the part does trust the client…] “Thank it for trusting you, and notice its response.”

[If not, it’s usually helpful to let the part know that that’s understandable.] “Does it
make sense to you why this part may not trust anyone?”
[If yes.] “Let it know you understand, and notice how it responds.”
[Then follow up with.] “What does this part need so it can trust you more?” (8)
[If it’s something that can be done immediately, do it. Usually, it is, for example, “it
wants me to slow down/listen to it/make sure we have enough time/etc.”]
“Go ahead and slow down/listen to it/let it know we’ll give this as much time as it needs
over the course of multiple sessions/etc., and see how it responds.”

Unblending/ “Can you feel this [protector] part’s care for you (or positive intent)?” (15)
Befriending [If yes.] “Take a moment to take that in, and notice how the protector part responds.”
(8)

Contracting “Are there any parts that have concerns about giving the (target/exile) part your
attention?” (1)

Contracting [Any time there’s a concern or fear.] “What is this part’s concern?” [Then address the
concern.]

Contracting with [The top manager concerns are that 1. the (exile’s) feelings will be too much 2. and/or
Managers the (exiles’s) feelings will never change].
[For 1] “Would this (protector/manager) part be willing to let you give the other (exile)
part attention if it/the exile agrees to show you just as much as you can handle?”
[For 2] “If there was a way to help this part feel better, would you be open to stepping
back so we could try?” (1)
[and/or]
“Can this (protector) part reflect on how these feelings are not always present and that
feelings tend to change often?”

Contracting with [First make sure managers are ok with talking with the firefighters?] Do any parts have
Firefighters concerns if we address the part that wants to (drink/restrict/dissociate/distract/etc.)
more directly?” [If there are concerns, address the manager concerns] “What do these
parts need to feel comfortable allowing you to talk to this other (firefighter) part?”

[If managers have no concerns…] “(essentially, to the firefighter) Would you be willing
to allow us to work with the part you’re trying to push away (usually pain/shame-based)
so we can see if we can help it feel better?” [Address all firefighter concerns and get its
agreement before focusing on the exile. Always then checking…] “How do you feel
towards the (exile) part now?” […to get a Self-to-part connection before moving on.]

Self-to-part relationship [For any Self-led quality that is experienced towards a part.] “Send it your
(curiosity/care/understanding/etc.) and notice how it responds.” (3)

Capturing Impact “How does the part respond?” (3)

Capturing Impact [To give the client open-ended time.] “Let me know when you notice a response.”

Identifying Parts “Who does that part protect?” (1)

“Why does it do what it does? (1/ IFS 1st edition, pg. 227)
Befriending Protectors
“What does it really want for the person, beneath its extreme intention statements?” (1/
IFS 1st edition, pg. 227)

“What is it afraid will happen if it leaves its extreme role?” (1/ IFS 1st edition, pg. 227)

“Which other part(s) is it polarized with or protecting?” (1/ IFS 1st edition, pg. 227)

“What role would it like if it no longer had to play this one?” (1/ IFS 1st edition, pg. 227)
“What does it need from Self or the therapist to be able to make the shift to the new
role?” (1/ IFS 1st edition, pg. 227)

“What burdens does it carry, and where is it stuck in the past (where did it get these
burdens)?” (1/ IFS 1st edition, pg. 227)

Contracting "How do you feel about listening to the [target/exile] part for a little bit now. Let’s ask
all parts who judge this voice if they’re willing to let you listen?” (3)

Self-to-part relationship/ “Are you available/able to listen to this part?” (3)

contracting

Contracting “Are there any other parts that now have concerns about giving the (target/exile) part
your attention?” (1) [Check this out until there are no parts who have concerns.]

Contracting with exiles “Ask if this (exile) part can agree not to overwhelm you/show you just as much as you
can handle if you give it attention?” [If not, address its concerns 1. Being invalidated 2.
and this will be its only opportunity.] (1/3)
[For 1] “Can you let this (exile) part know that it’s feelings are valid and/or
understandable?
[For 2] “Let this part know that you will come back to it as many times as it needs to
fully work through whatever it needs.”

Witness/ “Does this part know how old you are?” (5)
Identifying Parts [If not] “Is this part open to finding out your current age?”
[After being updated] “How does this part respond?” (1)

Identifying “How old does this part think you are?” (5)
Parts/unblending [If the age is anything other than the client’s current age] “Was there anything
significant going on at that age (that was named)?”
[Next.] “How do you feel toward that part?”
[After Self-to-part relationship is established.] “Let this (intermediary) part know that it
no longer needs to take care of this (initially contacted) part.”
[Next.] “How does it feel for these parts to be taken care of you now?”
[If there’s time to be even more thorough, the intermediary part can be asked…] “How
old does this part think you are?” [If the age is anytime other than the client’s current
age, you have discovered another part. Repeat the above steps, and you repeat this
process until the parts reach the client’s current age.]

Witness “Let this part show you where it is stuck in the past.” (1)

Witness “How far back did it start feeling this way?” (9)

“Can this part show you how it got to feeling this way?” (8)

Witness [If you or the client suspect the memory was not the sponsoring event and/or earlier
events store significant emotional energy.] “Was there anyone else who made this part
feel similarly.”
[If needed, repeat until the client reaches the earliest or the sponsoring event.] “Who
before that?” [Make note of each memory for possible witnesses/retrieval/unburdening
later.]

Witness “Can it show you the earliest time it first felt this way?” (9)
Witness “Let it show you how it got to feeling this way?” (8)

Witness “What does this part want you to know about itself. “ (1)

Witness “Is there a specific incident it needs to show you?" (3)

Witness "Can this part tell you or show you? (3)

Witnessing/Contracting [Preemptive] “Can the part show you just as much as you can handle if you promise to
come back as many times as necessary?”

Witness/confirmation [for anything the client assumes or questions] “Ask the part if that’s true/fits?”

Witness “What does this part need you to know/understand?” (1)

Witness “Does that make sense to you?”

[or]
“Is what this part feels/had been feeling make sense?”
[If yes.] “Let it know you get it.”
[or]
“Send it your understanding/let it know you understand.” (optional; capture impact)
“How does it respond?/Notice how it responds.”
[If no.] “Ask it to tell you more.” (1)
[or]
“What else does it want you to get/understand?”

Witness “Is there more?” (10)

[or]
“Is there more this part wants you to know, or does it feel like you get it?” (1)
[If yes] “Let it know you get it. (1)
[If no] “Let it tell you more. (1)

Witnessing/ [The following is only done after a Self-to-part relationship (client feels some quality of
Contracting Self/curiosity/care/etc.) toward the part is established and after all protector part
concerns are addressed.] “Can you hang in there, or is this more than you can handle?”
(8)
or
“Is it ok that this part is having/sharing these feelings and/or memories?” (1)
or
“Is that ok [what’s being shown]?” (3)

[If client can tolerate what’s being shared.] “Let this part know you can handle it.” (8)
[Then] “Notice how it responds.” [The part’s response is usually quite positive, and the
feeling being processed oftentimes immediately lowers in intensity.] (8)
[Then] “What else does it need you to understand/show you/share?” (1)

[If it’s too much] “Can the part slow it down and show you just as much as you can
handle?” (3)
or
[if it is too much] “What does this part need from you so this part can dial the intensity
back?” (3)
[If contracting with the part doesn’t work, use direct access.] “Can I talk to this part
directly?” [Then stay curious, offer compassion, and relate to this part in all the ways
you’d like to model the client eventually being able to relate to this part themselves,
“comforting it and reassuring that it will be released from exile and taken care of
eventually” (1/ IFS 1st edition, pg. 228).
Continue this until the client is able to form a Self-to-part relationship with this part and
then facilitate the client in engaging the part from Self. When there seems to be enough
Self-leadership from the client…] “How do you feel towards this part now?”

Witnessing/ [If the part floods the client with multiple memories.] “Is it more than you can handle or
Contracting can you hang in there?”
[If what’s shared is within the client’s window of tolerance] “Let the part know you can
hang in there and notice how it responds.”
[If the client says it’s too much.] “Ask the part to show you one memory at a time, and
let it know you’ll eventually get to everything it wants to show you?”
[Asking for one memory at a time almost always works, but if the part does not agree to
slow it down, one can:
1. Address the part’s concerns about showing only one memory at a time.
2. Check how the client is feeling toward the part (oftentimes, exiles will flood if another
part is trying to repress them).
3. The part thinks this will be its only opportunity.
4. The part doesn’t trust the client.
5. The part would benefit from finding out the client’s current age.

[For 1] “Ask this part to share its concern with only showing one memory at a time.”
[Then address the concern.]
[For 2] “How do you feel towards this part?” [Work with any protectors that may have
slipped in-between the client and the emoting exile-part]
[For 3] “Reassure this part that you will keep coming back to it until it can show you
everything it needs to.” [It can also be helpful to let this part know about the frequency
the client attends session and/or to tell it exactly when the client will spend extra time
with this part.]
[For 4] “What does this part need to build more trust?” [Immediately attend to what
was needed if at all possible. If not immediately possible, make plans to address these
needs and reassess if the part feels like it can trust the client.]
[For 5] “Does this part know how old you are?” [Gently update age if the part is
agreeable. If not, address related concerns.”

Witnessing/ [if therapist suspects it’s too much (always check; usually it’s not too much)] “Is this
Contracting more than you can handle or can you hang in there?” (8)

[If it is not too much.] “Let the part know it’s not too much.” (8)
[Then] “Notice how it responds.” [The response is usually quite positive. The feeling
oftentimes lowers in intensity.] (8)
[Then] “What else does it need you to understand/show you/share?” (1)

[If it is too much.] “What does this part need from you so this part can dial the intensity
back/show you just as much as you can handle?” (3/8) [Then address these needs. If the
client can meet these needs, have them do so in that moment (they usually can). If the
client can’t meet these needs, address any related concerns or barriers to doing so.]
[and/or] “What is this part concerned would happen if it did unblend?” [Then address
concerns.]

[and/or] [If none of the above options work, see if the client can give empathy] “Can you
understand why this part of you feels the way it feels/felt this way?”
[if yes] “Let it know you get it and notice how it responds.”
[if no] (work with the protector part judging the feeling/exile; empathize with its need
and attempt contracting)

[if part still won’t unblend, use direct access.]

“Is it ok if I talk to this part directly?” [Then stay curious, offer compassion, and relate
to this part in all the ways you’d like to model the client eventually being able to relate to
this part themselves, “comforting it and reassuring that it will be released from exile and
taken care of eventually” (1/ IFS 1st edition, pg. 228).
Continue this until the client is able to form a Self-to-part relationship with this part and
then facilitate the client in engaging the part from Self. When there seems to be enough
Self-leadership from the client…] “How do you feel towards this part now?”

Witness/ “What did the part conclude about itself/others/the world after that?”
Unburdening [Either make a note of this for later unburdening after the retrieval or address
immediately with the following.]
“Is that still true?”
[If not still true?]
“What’s more true now?”
[after response.]
“How does it feel to have this new belief/what do you notice now?”

Reparenting/Redo/ [This step can be played with at various points in the Redo phase, as needed. Ideally
Proximity once early on to create more befriending and once towards the end to strengthen the
attachment.]

“How close are you to this part?” (12)

“Would this part let you come closer (even if you just lean closer)?” (1 & 5 & 12)

“Would this part be open to making eye contact with you.” [If yes] “Notice how it
responds.” (12)

[for later in the process, as a Redo or after the Retrieval] “Would this part like to be
held?” [If yes] “Notice how it responds.” (12)

Reparent “Be with this part in the way it needed.” (1 & 3)

Reparent “What do you (want to) say to this part?” (3)

Reparent "What did this part need from an adult then?” (3)
[then have the client meet this need.]“Can you do that for this part?” (3)

Reparent “What does the part want you to say or do that the part needed a grown up to do then?
(3)

Reparent “Can you let this part know it is welcome with you?” (12)
Reparent “Can you let this part know that you know how that feels?” (12)

Reparent “Can you let this part know you feel protective of it?” (12)

Reparent “Can you let this part know you will keep it safe?” (12)

Reparent “Can you let this part know that it matters?” (12)

Reparent “Can you let this part know you value it?” (12)

Reparent “Can you let this part know you are committed to it?” (12)

Reparent "Can you let this part know that you want to know it fully?” (12)

Redo “(If it was totally safe to do anything it wants) what does this part want to say or do that
it didn’t get to?” (8/16)

[If the part balks at engaging in the defense completion] “What does this part need to
feel safe doing or saying what it really wanted to?”
[If necessary…] “Let it know you are there with it, fully supporting it.”
[and/or] “Let it bring whoever (else) it would like to support it.”

Seat of Power by Kay Stone

Self-to-part relationship [If the witnessing, sending it Self-led qualities, or retrieval stall out?] “Does this part feel
like it can trust you?” (1)
[If part does not trust client] “What does it need from you to trust you more?” (1)
[If the need is something the client can do immediately, it almost always is.] “Give it that
and notice how it responds.” [Trust usually gets stronger.]

“Is there anything else it needs so it can trust you more?”[Repeat until the part trusts
the client.]

Self-to-part relationship/ [After client shares something Self-led about the part] “Does the part know?” (3)
Befriending

Retrieval “Would this part like to go to a safe place? (1)

[or]
“Would this part like to come with you?” (8)

[If no, most common reason and the first thing to check out is if there’s more that needs
to be witnessed.] “What else does it need you to understand?”
[and/or] “What are its concerns?” [Address concerns.]
[and/or] [Build/repair a trust bridge.] “Does this part feel like it can trust you?”
[If yes but still doesn’t want to be retrieved, explore the other options in this list]
[If the part doesn’t trust the client] “What does it need so that it can trust you more?”
[Then have client meet that need immediately and capture the impact.] “Send the part
your (attention/trust/validation/whatever-the-part-asked-for) and notice what happens
to its trust.”
[and/or] “Does this part know how old you are?”
[If yes but still doesn’t want to be retrieved, explore the other options in this list]
[if no, ask if the part is open to being updated, address any concerns if not, and gently
update the age when possible.]
[If yes (to the retrieval).] “Invite this part into your present home.” (8)
[or]
[Oftentimes, parts are felt in the heart area, especially after retrievals.] “Would this part
like to come into your heart? They can create any kind of safe space it would like there.”
[If the client’s current home is not safe, the part can be brought to an imaginary safe
place or a safe place in the past. Do this as a last resort and as a temporary stepping
stone towards eventually bringing any part to the present moment to be taken care of by
the client’s present moment self.]

Retrieval [Update the age shortly after the retrieval if that has not happened already.] “Ask the
part if he’d like to know how old you are.”
[If it does.] “Go ahead and update the part.”
[If the part doesn’t want to be updated] “Can this part share its concerns about knowing
your current age?” [and then address the concerns until it is open to being updated. If,
for some reason, an age update is not possible, try to complete this another time. The
part will be the safest, have the strongest connection to the client, and will be most likely
to fully develop if it's in the present moment with the client.]

Unburdening “Are there any emotions or beliefs this part would now like to release (that are not a
part of who it really is)?” [If yes.] “Let this part let those go (back to their source/where
they came from).” (1 & 3)
[Traditionally, Dick offers parts to release their burdens to one of the elements; “earth,
wind, fire, water, light, or something else.”]

Unburdening/ “Is there anything this part decided about itself, men, women, others, or the world that
Invite it would like to let go?” (8) [After each is released, and one at a time…]
“What is more true, and let this new belief replace the old one.” (14)

Unburdening [If any limiting/negative core belief is resisting being released.]

“Is that belief true?” (14)
“Can you absolutely believe it’s true?” (14)
“How do you respond when you do believe it’s true?” (14)
“Who would you/this part be without that belief?” (14)
“What’s an opposite of this belief, and is that just as true or more true? (14)

Invite “(In essence) Is there anything this part lost, had taken away, or didn’t get a chance to
fully develop that it would like to reclaim/allow to further develop?” [If yes…] “Call it
back/give it more space to develop, and notice how that feels.” (1 & 8)

Over the Horizon by Michi Rose

Befriending/Redo [If the client agrees.] “(Let this (exile) part know that you will come back to it. Ask the
part how frequently and how it would like that to happen.” (1 & 8) [IFS encourages
daily check-ins for 3-4 weeks following exile retrievals in order to help solidify the
healing and growth of the working.]

Befriending/Redo [If seems necessary, like with a very young part.] “Ask if there are other parts who
would like to befriend and keep this part company.” (1)

Space of Love, inspired by Anastasia Megre & Gordon Neufeld

Re-role “Bring in the protective parts from earlier and ask how they feel about the work you
just did and how they relate to the part you retrieved.” (1) [Address any concerns. Most
of the time, protector parts are now more Self-led and have (more) compassion and care
for the retrieved parts.]

Re-role [To each part: protector and protected] “What was this part meant to do?” (1 & 3)
[With whatever new roles are desired, capture impact.] “How does it feel for this part to
step into this new role?”

Re-role/ [After calling back protector parts and seeing how they respond to what has changed or
Unburdening meeting the exile part again, address any sense of responsibility to protect the exile and
see if it can be released.] “Can this part see that it doesn’t have to feel responsible to take
care of others/this part anymore? It can let you be responsible for that.” (1)

Re-role “What would this part like to do instead (now that the other part is better)?” (1)
[After the new role is identified.] “Give it permission to move into this role and notice
how this feels for this part and for you.” (1 & 8)
[Capture impact.] “How does it feel for the other parts to have this part in this new
role?” (1 & 8)

1- Richard Schwartz
2- Paul Ginter
3- Toni Herbine-Blank (Internal Family Systems Couple Therapy Skills Manual)
4- Deb Bowman (Gestalt)
5- Michi Rose
6- Julia Mikk (Breath of Love)
7- Joe Shirley & Annette Dubreuil (FeelingWork)
8- Uri Talmor (Conscious Heart Integration (CHI))
9- Steven Hayes (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT))
10- Harville Hendrix (Imago/Getting the love you want)
11- Marshal Rosenberg (Nonviolent Communication)
12- Gordon Neufeld (Attachment Theory)
13- Diane Poole-Heller
14- Byron Katie
15- Lisa Wimberger
16- Eric Wolterstorff
17- Risa Kaparo