ACTION BOOK CONTENTS

PART 1. Navigate your Inner Landscape 3

LESSON 1 – Making Friends with the Unknown 4

LESSON 2 – The 3 Mind Pits: Identify What’s Holding You Back 8

LESSON 3 – Meet & Beat Your Inner Deceivers 13

PART 2. The 4 Legs of Self-Determination 19

LESSON 4 – Acceptance: The First Step to Unlocking your Potential 20

LESSON 5 – Agency: Believe in Yourself for Success 25

LESSON 6 – Reclaim Your Ownership 28

BONUS: The ‘RISE’ Above Technique 31

LESSON 7 – Adaptability: Navigating the Ups & Downs 32

PART 3. Cultivate Mastery & Self-Awareness 38

LESSON 8 – Become Resilient to External Forces 39
LESSON 9 – Self-Forgetting: The Key to Self-Mastery 43

LESSON 10 – Becoming the Protagonist of Your Story 52

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PART 1.
NAVIGATE
YOUR INNER
LANDSCAPE

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LESSON 1 – Making Friends
with the Unknown

How self-doubt manifests

1
Self-Sabotage
The belief that failure is inevitable can lead to self-sabotage where you
undermine your chances of success to have a ready-made “excuse." This self-
defeating behavior can manifest in various aspects of life, such as relationships
or personal goals. For instance, you might sabotage a relationship intentionally
to avoid the pain of being rejected or dumped, or you might choose not to
monitor or actively work towards your goals because you don't believe you can
achieve them.

2
Imposter Phenomenon
In spite of a strong track record of success, you feel completely undeserving of
your achievements. In this situation, you may attribute your achievements to
external factors such as others' help, luck, or timing, instead of acknowledging
your skills and hard work. As a result, you might feel like a fraud and constantly
worry that someone will eventually "find you out" and expose you as an
imposter.

3
Achievement Addiction
Feeling inadequate and unworthy despite persistent effort and goal
achievement is a common experience that can lead to a never-ending cycle of
dissatisfaction. In these situations, you may invest considerable energy and time
into accomplishing your objectives yet still feel like you're not "enough."

4
Other Enhancement
You attribute any failure you expect to some advantage someone else has
over you. For example, “I’m not going to secure the VC funding because
my competitor is friends with the partner of the VC firm.” This mindset
often stems from insecurities or self-doubt, leading you to focus on
external factors instead of your own abilities and achievements.

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Metacognition: “Thinking about Thinking”

STEP 1 Set up your phone and record yourself (either video or audio recording)
answering the following questions:

1. What do I know about my thoughts?

2. How aware am I of what’s going on in my mind?
3. What limiting thoughts have I heard in the past month? Three months? Six months?
4. How has self-doubt led me to feel in the past?
i. What emotion does it evoke?
ii. How does it affect my behavior?
iii. What do I do when faced with self-doubt?
5. How does doubt show up most? Which of the four tendencies do I default to: Self-Sabotage,
Imposter Phenomenon, Achievement Addiction, or Other Enhancement?
6. What don’t I know about my thoughts? For example, “There could be deep-rooted patterns or
conditioning from my past that I am unaware of, which shape my thoughts and behaviors”, or “I
might not be aware of the specific triggers or situations that tend to activate certain thought
patterns or thought processes.”

STEP 2 Now write down your responses to the above questions. You can take
more time to reflect now.

1. What do I know about my thoughts?

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2. How aware am I of what’s going on in my mind?

3. What limiting thoughts have I heard in the past one month? Three months? Six
months?

4. How has self-doubt led me to feel in the past? What emotion does it evoke? How does
it affect my behavior? What do I do when faced with self-doubt?

5. How does doubt show up most? Which of the four tendencies do I default to: Self-
Handicapping, Imposter Phenomenon, Achievement Addiction, or Other
Enhancement?

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6. What don’t I know about my thoughts?

Set up your phone and record a video for your future self. Share what
STEP 3 you’re excited about most. Share where you hope to be on the other side
of this journey.

“
Capture the excitement you’re feeling right now using these speaking prompts:

“I’ve just started the Quest Unshakeable: from Self-Doubt to Self-Determination.

I’m taking this Quest because…”
"What I’m most excited about is…”
“The person I will become at the end of this Quest is…”
“I commit wholly to myself and to completing the whole journey.”

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LESSON 2 – The 3 Mind Pits:
Identify What’s Holding You Back

THE THREE MINDPITS

PIT 3:
PIT 1: PIT 2:
Destination
Failure to Launch Treading Water
Obsession

PIT 1: Failure to Launch

You’re stuck, right at the beginning. Rumination holds you back from taking meaningful
action in the first place and you “fail to launch." You fixate on the worst-case scenario or
become stuck in a perpetual cycle of research, learning, and preparation. You’re planning
to start…someday. However, someday never comes…

Self-Audit Questions:
1. What’s holding me back from taking action?
2. What am I overthinking about?
3. What’s the worst possible scenario? What’s a more realistic scenario?

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PIT 1 Technique: The Finger Trigger
Whenever you have the urge to act on something that you want or know you should do,
you need to make sure you don’t allow your ruminating mind to snatch it away and
overthink. Here’s a simple yet very powerful technique called the Finger Trigger.

The Physical Action

Tap your thumb and pinky finger for the 4th count, your thumb and ring finger for the 3rd,
thumb and middle finger for the 2nd, thumb and pointer finger for the 1st, and then
simulate a trigger by closing your hand into a fist.

THE FINGER TRIGGER 4 3 2 1 GO!

Why it Works
We know from neuroimaging studies that emotional appraisals are processed by the brain
in just milliseconds; in other words it takes much less than a second for your self-doubt to
hijack your mind. The Finger-Trigger Technique is so effective because it quickly disrupts
the brain’s auto-response, re-engages your prefrontal cortex, and recovers control from
self-doubt hijack in less than 5 seconds…

The combination of counting in your mind (or out loud), physical touch and the action of
the trigger centers you, allows you to focus on the goal and decouples your consciousness
from doubt-fuelled rumination.

Supercharge the Technique

Using the analogy of a rocket ship aimed at your desired destination –
which could be a desired state, action or goal. Picture your rocket on a
launch pad preparing for countdown. In order for that rocket to free you from the
gravitational pull of rumination, it needs enough fuel and thrust. That fuel comes from
combining visualization with powerful emotion. Visualize yourself attaining your desired
state, or performing the meaningful action with flow, courage, enthusiasm, and curiosity.

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PIT 2: Treading Water
You might find yourself stuck “treading water” and exhausting yourself, without going
anywhere. You commit to a goal or task, only to find yourself switching before completion,
and you do it again, and again. Self-doubt leads you to question whether you’ve made the
right choice, leading to dissatisfaction You then lose interest in what you started once the
initial excitement wanes, so you move on to find a hit from a new task.

The primary underlying reason stems from a lack of meaning. When you’re not crystal clear
on why you’re doing what you’re doing, it’s all too easy for the self-doubt to sway you… to
convince you that you’ve made the wrong choice or that there’s a better option.

PIT 2 Technique: Action Identification

If you find yourself stuck in this pit and struggling to complete your Quest, we encourage
you to shift to a broader perspective by “Zooming Out.”

Allow your vision to see the grand picture. What are you really there to do? How are you
contributing? What impact are you having? How can you ascribe meaning to what you’re
doing?

The technique is called “Action Identification” (Vallacher & Wegner, 2014), derived from the
concept that how we think about what we do affects our emotion and our self-concept. It
tells us that there are many levels of description for any action.

Low Level explanation of my TASKS Zoomed-out explanation of my TASKS

Example 1: Analyzing data Helping inform the right decisions for customers.

Example 2: Working for the weekend Committing to growth to achieve my potential

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PIT 3: Destination Obsession
This is where you continually set a goal, reach your destination, and immediately input a
new one into your internal GPS. It’s never enough for you. Because you feel inadequate and
unworthy, you continually try to compensate through over-achieving.

PIT 3 Technique: Self-Boundaries

Set a personal boundary with yourself. Because we make time for what we prioritize, and
we make time for what’s scheduled, make a commitment to schedule breaks. Purposeful
breaks. A break to meditate, to be present with family, to exercise. Importantly, use this time
to reflect on what you really want for yourself. Get out of the “doing”, and into the being.
Schedule it right now. Put it in your calendar. Block out the time and devote that to self-
care. Respect that time, and respect yourself in the process.

Schedule your breaks – Example

SUN MON TUES WED THUR FRI SAT

2pm Walk the 1pm Lunch 7.45am Family 11am Walk 7.30am 1pm Lunch 11am Reading
dog meditation breakfast Morning walk meditation
2pm Power nap with dog 3pm Meditation
5pm Dinner 6pm Gym 1pm Lunch 6pm Gym
with the family Meditation 6.40pm Gym 7pm Yoga 5pm Family
dinner

Your Weekly Schedule – Template

SUN MON TUES WED THUR FRI SAT

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Reflection: Which Pit do I fall into most often?
Select at least one pit that you may have fallen into (or you’re at risk of falling into). Describe
how it manifests for you, and put the technique into action in real-life or simulate it so at
least you’re priming yourself to be ready for when you’ll need it.

THE Classic Judge

This inner critic judges you endlessly for what you did, what you didn’t do, what you should have
done. Nothing escapes it. It’s constantly criticising your every decision, blaming you for things
that are outside your control, and filling you with self-doubt. It’s a perfectionism – nothing is
ever good enough.

THE Victimizer
The Victimizer has a way of convincing you that the universe is rigged to conspire against
you. It fills your mind with excuses and robs you of your willpower, leaving you feeling
powerless and victimized by the world around you. You doubt that you have any control
over your circumstances.

THE Misguided Protector

The Protector fills you with doubt about whether you can handle failure or rejection. So, it
tries to protect you from harm, and you avoid any situation where you might experience
these things. You’re highly risk-averse and fear failure. The Protector wants to keep you
‘safe' by holding you back from action, and it does this by undermining your confidence
and paralyzing you.

THE Ringmaster
The Ringmaster tells you that your value is based on how driven and productive you are. It
relentlessly demands you keep pushing your limits and convinces you that the moment you
slow down, you’re weak and a failure. You have the damaging belief that your worth and merit
as a person are directly correlated to how productive you are.

THE Neglector
When you feel insecure in your worth, perhaps due to a lack of emotional validation as a
child or if you had a parent that was hard to please, you anticipate rejection as an adult.
You work hard to gain approval from those around you. Whenever you don’t receive it, it’s
an automatic trigger, and you have a conditioned “need” to win it back.

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LESSON 3 – Meet & Beat Your
Inner Deceivers

PART 1: Identifying & De-identifying

STEP 1 For each statement below, rate yourself based on your level of agreement.
You’ll find the rating scale below.

Rating scale:
1 = Not like me at all | 2 = Like me very little | 3 = Somewhat like me
4 = Like me a lot | 5 = Very much like me (highest level of agreement)

STATEMENT Rating (1-5)

1 I often don’t feel good enough.

2 I often feel that I have made the wrong decision.

3 When I make a mistake I become self-critical.

4 I experience quite a lot of regret.

5 Life sometimes feels unfair.

6 I feel that others have it easier than I do.

7 I feel that I have to work harder than other people to achieve success.

8 Sometimes I feel that the world is against me.

9 I believe that it’s safer not to try than to try and fail.

10 I become anxious and self-critical when I don’t meet the high standards I set for myself.

11 I usually won’t try something unless I’m quite sure I’ll succeed.

12 I’ve held myself back in the past because I didn’t feel ready.

13 I feel guilty when I stop working.

14 Once I achieve a goal, I immediately move onto the next.

15 I push myself to work very hard so I can achieve my goals.

16 I feel bad about myself if I haven’t been productive.

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17 I feel ashamed when I don’t measure up to others’ expectations.

18 I work hard to gain the approval of others.

19 I care deeply about what people think of me.

20 I tend to be a people pleaser and “give” a lot of myself in relationships.

STEP 2 Calculate your numerical answers from the self-assessment above in the
blanks below. Then, add up your scores from each line to calculate a total
score for each group of questions.

Classic Judge = Questions 1 ______ +2 ______ + 3 ______ + 4 ______ = TOTAL ________

Victimizer = Questions 5 ______ +6 ______ + 7 ______ + 8 ______ = TOTAL ________

Misguided Protector = Questions 9 ______ +10 _____ + 11 _____ + 12 _____ = TOTAL ________

Ringmaster = Questions 13 _____ +14 _____ + 15 _____ + 16 _____ = TOTAL ________

Neglector = Questions 17 _____ +18 _____ + 19 _____ + 20 _____ = TOTAL ________

If your total score was 9 or higher for one of the Inner Deceivers, it’s highly probable that it
is causing problems in your life. A score of 7-8 for each critic suggests that it could be
problematic. A score of less than 7 suggests it is less likely to be a problem.

STEP 3 Plot the scores for each of your Inner Deceivers into the Deceiver Map on
the next page. You’ll find examples below:

Example 1: Dominant Classic Judge & Misguided Protector Example 2: Dominant Victimizer & Neglector

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Now, plot your scores into the Deceiver Map below.

The Classic
The Judge
Neglector

19-20
17-18
15-16
13-14
11-12

3-4
5-6
7-8
9-10
The
1-2
Victimizer

The
Ringmaster

The
Misguided
Protector

Reflection:

How aware was I of my dominant Deceivers prior to this exercise?

What does this awareness mean to me? How will it affect the way I approach my self-talk in
future?

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PART 2: Self-Validation and Confidence Anchoring

STEP 1 Self-Validating Statement. Implement a repeated daily mantra every

morning before you start your day, in the first minutes just after waking when
your brain is most malleable.

Repeat this statement:

“I am free to create my future. I determine my next step.”

STEP 2 Identify Your Fragrance. Find a fragrance that you like and that smells
appealing to you. It could be a perfume, cologne, essential oil… keep it by
your bedside.

Anchoring Your “Confidence Elixir.” In the morning, as you repeat your Self-
STEP 3 Validating Statement, inhale the beautiful aroma. Continue to inhale it until
you repeat the Statement at least three times. Then, get on with your day.

Science proves that scent is powerful. It can alter your emotional state and increase your
self-perceived confidence in the moment.

Research suggests that scents and fragrances could have an indirect impact on social
perception through changes in both your self-perception and self-consciousness. Because
of something called the anchoring effect, when you combine the fragrance with your Self-
Validating Statement, this fragrance becomes your “confidence elixir," acting as an instant
reminder that you are in control…you choose your next step. You can break free from the
conditioning you’ve for so long been trapped by.

STEP 4 Next time you hear an Inner Deceiver, or you’re facing a situation where
there’s a risk of one piping up, inhale this fragrance. Wear it to embody the
confidence you want to see.

RESEARCH:
• Adenskaya, L., & Dommeyer, C. J. (2004). Can Perfume Increase The Response Rate To A Face-To-Face Survey? International Business and Economics
Research Journal, 3, 37-44.
• Gainsburg, I., & Kross, E. (2020). Distanced self-talk changes how people conceptualize the self. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 88, 103969.
• Killham, M. E., Mosewich, A. D., Mack, D. E., Gunnell, K. E., & Ferguson, L. J. (2018). Women athletes’ self-compassion, self-criticism, and perceived sport
performance. Sport, Exercise, and Performance Psychology, 7(3), 297.
• Kross, E., Bruehlman-Senecal, E., Park, J., Burson, A., Dougherty, A., Shablack, H., ... & Ayduk, O. (2014). Self-talk as a regulatory mechanism: how you do
it matters. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 106(2), 304.
• Lenochová, P., Vohnoutova, P., Roberts, S. C., Oberzaucher, E., Grammer, K., & Havlíček, J. (2012).
Psychology of fragrance use: perception of individual odor and perfume blends reveals a mechanism for idiosyncratic effects on fragrance choice, PloS
One, 7, e33810.
• Milinski, M., & Wedekind, C. (2001). Evidence for MHC-correlated perfume preferences in humans. Behavioral Ecology, 12, 140-149.

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Additional Self- Coaching Steps
Regardless of whether you’ve identified that you have one or all five Inner Deceivers lurking
in your mind, if you want to achieve your highest potential it’s important to subdue that inner
critical voice so it no longer derails you.

5 Self-Coaching Steps

STEP 1: Identify and Name It. Ask yourself: “Who is speaking to me right now? What
narrative are they pushing?”By consciously listening to the voices you can identify them

1
and then become aware of how irrational they actually are. A great tip here is to distance
yourself from your critical voice – if you’re hearing “I’m a failure,” rephrase it as, “You’re
saying that I’m a failure.” Calling it out in this way is a form of psychological distancing,
which has been shown to provide a mechanism for gaining emotional distance, reducing
anxiety and helping you better detach from the emotion that’s keeping you stuck in the
critical rumination.

2
STEP 2: Seek to Understand It. Ask, “What is this critic trying to
protect me from?" Often your inner critic is trying to protect your inner child from
some form of unfounded “harm” or “threat.” It’s trying to keep you safe which is why
you want to take the time to reflect on what it’s trying to protect you from. Is it trying
to protect your from the possibility of failure? Social rejection? The unknown? When
you can understand what it’s trying to protect you from it helps to create emotional
distance and to understand the source behind the criticism.

STEP 3: Examine the Evidence. Ask yourself, “Is this a real threat that I need to be
protected from or simply a worst-case scenario I’ve conjured in my mind?” Your

3
thoughts don’t always reflect the truth, and often they cause you to perceive things with
an exaggerated negative bias. It’s a cognitive distortion called catastrophizing, where
we fixate on the worst case scenario. Instead, take time to rationally highlight other
alternatives and contrary evidence (e.g., that time you delivered a highly impactful
presentation or when you were able to push through and deliver outstanding results).
By doing this, you’re able to create space to acknowledge other possibilities. The
question to ask here is: “How can you rely on your existing skill sets and qualities to
help you at this time?”

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4
STEP 4: The Conscious Shift. Use a technique known as "cognitive shifting" to
consciously replace your negative thought pattern with a more rational one.
Consciously redirect your attention away from fixation on what the Inner Deceiver is
trying to convince you of to your strengths, your qualities, the value you offer others.
You allow space for reclaiming your sense of true self. Think about and reflect on your
previous accomplishments or how others see you to help validate this mental shift.

STEP 5: Flip the Script. Flip the script of how you speak back to your

5
voice of self-doubt. Compassionately respond to your Inner Deceiver. Remind it that you’re
in control and respond with a more realistic and compassionate evaluation of yourself. You
could say, “Misguided Protector, I hear what you’re saying. I know you’re only trying to
protect me, but I don’t need your protection. I’ve done it before, I can do it again. I’ll figure
this out and learn on the journey. I’ve got this.”

____________________________

Additional Self-Coaching Questions:

• What am I picking up on? What sensations am I feeling? What triggered me to feel this
way?
• How has my energy been affected? What emotion has my brain registered?
• Am I reacting to the present moment, previous experience or both?
• What belief is my Inner Deceiver reinforcing?
• What is this feeling trying to communicate to me?
• How can I change my interpretation of this “trigger” so it’s not perceived as a threat?
• What can I learn here about myself or about others? How can I grow from this?
• What is the best (rather than perfect) way to respond going forward?

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PART 2. THE 4
PART 2.
LEGS OF SELF-
THE 4 LEGS OF
DETERMINATION
SELF-DETERMINATION

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LESSON 4 – Acceptance: The
First Step to Unlocking your
Potential

The Game-Changing Core Self-Evaluations

The foundation of unwavering self-determination lies within the essence of our personal
beliefs about ourselves, also known as our “self-concept.” This is further specified by
researchers as our “core self-evaluations.” These evaluations represent our most profound
beliefs about our identity. A multitude of studies have revealed four dimensions to these
core self-evaluations, which we have adapted into our unique model, referred to as the
Four As of Core Self.

UNSHAKEABLE SELF-DETERMINATION

Individuals who score high in the four dimensions exhibit a positive self-concept and a
strong belief in their abilities. They exude confidence and assertiveness, feeling in control
of their environment. Their optimistic outlook enables them to make sound decisions and
find fulfillment in life. They excel in collaboration and navigate unexpected challenges with
resilience. Additionally, regardless of their background, they tend to earn higher incomes,
reflecting the positive impact of these qualities on their professional success.

High scores on these dimensions empower you to seize opportunities, perceive hidden
possibilities, and proactively pursue them. This initiates a positive cycle where accumulated
rewards and successes further enhance your ability to capitalize on new opportunities.

By strengthening each of the Four As, you establish a solid groundwork to actualize your
aspirations and unlock your highest potential.
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Cultivating Acceptance through Self-Compassion
A powerful research-based practice that can help you reconnect with your true identity and
discover your innate value involves leveraging the remarkable power of self-compassion.
To truly accept ourselves, we need to have compassion for ourselves.

Importantly, Acceptance doesn’t mean that we stop growing. It means the opposite – we
acknowledge and accept everything that we currently are, so we can become empowered
to continue on our journey of development.

There are three constructs we need to know about:

1. Kindness. This requires you to understand your difficulties and be kind and warm in the
face of failure or setbacks, rather than allowing an inner deceiver to be harshly
judgmental and self-critical.

2. Common humanity. You need to see your experiences as part of the human condition
rather than as personal, isolating and shaming.

3. Mindful acceptance. This involves mindful awareness and acceptance of painful

thoughts and feelings, rather than over-identifying with them.

Writing Your Self-Compassion Letter

STEP 1 Think back to a situation where you experienced self-doubt in your life
(feeling inadequate, ashamed, insecure or “not good enough”). See it
clearly in your mind.

STEP 2 Write down and describe what you feel by reliving this experience of
self-doubt. Do you feel ashamed? Frustrated? Embarrassed? How do
you experience it in and on your body?

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STEP 3 Below (or in a journal), write a letter to yourself focussed on the three
constructs of kindness, common humanity and acceptance for the
experience you had, what you faced and what you felt.

As you write, here are some pointers:

i. Kindness: Write what you might say to a loved one who was experiencing these things.
What would you tell a friend or someone you care for?

ii. Common Humanity: Remind yourself that everyone experiences self-doubt. It’s entirely
human, and no one is without flaws. Think about others who may be going through
something similar in their own way on their journey.

iii. Mindful acceptance: Remember not to overidentify with whatever emotion you’re
experiencing. Notice it, observe it, capture it, but remind yourself that you are NOT the
emotion.

While remaining compassionate, ask yourself whether there might be things you could do to
help you cope in a healthier way if you experience this again in future. What changes could
you make in your life so that you’re more confident and you don’t experience these feelings?

At the end, write that you accept who you are, what you’ve been through, and what you will
go through. Take ownership of it all. Embrace it all. Commit to your growth, which may feel
uncomfortable, even painful sometimes, but know that you’ll get through.

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STEP 4 After completing the letter, set it aside for at least 24 hours. Give
yourself some distance from the emotions and thoughts expressed in
the letter. Tomorrow, revisit the letter and read it again with fresh eyes.
Take note of anything you may have missed or overlooked during the
initial writing process. In the future, whenever you find yourself facing
self-doubt in a similar situation, turn to this letter as a source of
inspiration and strength. Remind yourself of the challenges you have
overcome in the past and how you emerged stronger from those
experiences. Let this letter serve as a conscious reminder to be kinder
and more compassionate towards yourself.

By cultivating self-compassion, you nurture a profound care for your own well-being. You
become attuned to your emotions, offering kindness, understanding, and tolerance
towards your own distress. You develop a deep empathy and insight into the origins of
your pain and challenges. When faced with setbacks or failures, you greet them with
acceptance and acknowledge the accompanying disappointment and fear. You learn to
work with these emotions, allowing them to guide you towards growth and resilience.
Through self-compassion, you embrace your authentic self and recognize your inherent
worthiness. This crucial foundation empowers you to navigate life's obstacles with
unyielding determination and move closer to your life goals.

Self-Validating Statement

“
Whenever you need the reminder, repeat this self-validating statement to yourself:
“I accept the fear;
I’m leaning into the friction,
and I choose to grow from this experience.
I am enough.”

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NOTES & COMMITMENTS

RESEARCH
• Chang, C. H., Ferris, D. L., Johnson, R. E., Rosen, C. C., & Tan, J. A. (2012). Core self-evaluations: A review and evaluation
of the literature. Journal of Management, 38(1), 81-128.
• Judge, T. A. (2009). Core self-evaluations and work success. Current directions in psychological science, 18(1), 58-62.
• Judge, T. A., Erez, A., Bono, J. E., & Thoresen, C. J. (2003). The core self-evaluations scale: Development of a measure.
Personnel Psychology, 56(2), 303-331.
• Neff, K. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and
identity, 2(2), 85-101.
• Shapira, L. B., & Mongrain, M. (2010). The benefits of self-compassion and optimism exercises for individuals
vulnerable to depression. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 5(5), 377-389.
• Breines, J. G., & Chen, S. (2012). Self-compassion increases self-improvement motivation. Personality and Social
Psychology Bulletin, 38(9), 1133-1143.

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LESSON 5 – Agency: Believe in
Yourself for Success

Cultivating Agency

Your belief in your ability to succeed in a particular situation relates to your Agency. This is
your capacity to influence your thoughts and behavior, to set goals, to achieve what you set
out to. Agency has an impact on everything from your psychological states to your behavior
and even your motivation. It determines what goals you choose to pursue, how you go
about pursuing and accomplishing those goals, and how you reflect on and assess your
own performance.

Part 1: Mastery Experiences

This is about reminding yourself of your prior experiences of success where you’ve been
able to master whatever you’ve worked on.

The indisputable truth is that you’ve been able to perform in the past. You’ve successfully
achieved goals, and you have a track record of performance. But, it’s not just successful
outcomes that we want you to recall. There’s merit in taking stock of the growth you’ve
experienced during challenges. Specifically, focus on the skills and strengths you’ve
developed from your experience, and then reflect on how you can draw from that to the
task at hand.

STEP 1 Draw two lines down the center of the sheet to create three columns of
equal width.

STEP 2 In the first column on the left, list all of the skills and qualities you’ve
developed in your life and career and how you’ve grown.

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STEP 3 In the middle column, write down all the skills and qualities you don’t
currently believe you possess and that might be needed… Where are
you deficient? What do you lack? This is an exercise of honesty of
humility – a real understanding of your gaps. Most people with a lack of
Agency will fixate on these gaps and catastrophize.

STEP 4 In the third column on the right, address each of the gaps you listed in
the middle column by linking it with an existing skill set or quality from
column one. Focus on how you can leverage what you already possess
to help you bridge the gaps.

You’re consciously and actively connecting the dots to help you recognize that you are
capable, and, by doing so, helping to elevate your Agency.

Part 2: Become a Discipline Disciple

Do you know what’s more powerful and sustainable than motivation? Discipline. The
discipline to do things, even when you don’t want to.

Discipline is a powerful quality. Because even if you don’t feel you have what it takes, you
do it anyway. Even when you don’t have the motivation or don’t feel like it or think you
might fall short, you do it anyway.

To cultivate this practice and become a Discipline Disciple, here’s what we invite you to do:

STEP 1 Set one small, easy achievable goal: drink a glass of water each
morning. Meditate for two minutes before bed. Read one paragraph of
your book each day. We’re going for easy and simple here to start to
build the habit.

STEP 2 Get a calendar that you can put somewhere visible where you’ll see it
every day. Each day when you take this action (even when you don’t feel
like it), use a colored marker and draw a big tick.

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As you get through each day and see these ticks build up, you’ll not only be able to
experience the dopamine release of a goal achieved each day, but you’re putting emphasis
on the ‘process’ rather than progress. You’re achieving a goal measured by action, rather
than outcome.

Instead of being driven by how you feel, this practice becomes about “not breaking the
chain,” and this is a powerful way to cultivate discipline. Before you know it, this will
become a wonderful new habit, forming a neural pathway in your brain, and you won’t have
to think about it. You’ll have cultivated your agency through discipline and will start to enjoy
the process. And, this approach can be applied to anything else you face in your life in the
future.

RESEARCH
• Bandura A. Self-Efficacy in Changing Societies. Cambridge University Press.
• Judge, T. A., & Bono, J. E. (2001). Relationship of core self-evaluations traits—self-esteem, generalized self-efficacy,
locus of control, and emotional stability—with job satisfaction and job performance: A meta-analysis. Journal of
Applied Psychology, 86(1), 80

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LESSON 6 – Reclaim Your
Ownership

Cultivating Autonomy and Personal Control

Having a high level of autonomy consistently correlates with greater success and fulfillment
in both career and life. When you possess a sense of autonomy, you exhibit greater
independence and self-direction. You are better equipped to handle life's challenges and
stressors. You feel empowered and take proactive steps to manifest your desired outcomes.
Moreover, individuals with high autonomy experience improved overall well-being, including
better physical health and lower rates of anxiety and depression. Autonomy serves as a
catalyst for personal growth and a pathway to living a fulfilling and balanced life.

If you lack autonomy, you believe that things happen not because of your own hard work and
effort but because of luck, timing, or powerful others. Also when things go wrong, you blame
other people, other circumstances, or things outside of your control. Zero ownership.

If you see others succeeding, you assume it’s because they have some sort of unfair
advantage over you. “They came from a privileged upbringing… They went to a better
college…They have better luck… I’m not going to receive funding because the investor is
friends with my main competitor.” This is called other enhancement. It allows you to attribute
the failure that you’re expecting to some advantage someone else has over you, supposedly
protecting your self-worth. But you are simply protecting your ego.

Technique 1: Radical Ownership

Where we start is with this mantra:
“If it is to be, it is up to me.”

Whether we want to acknowledge it or not, our life is a result of every decision we have
made up to this point in time. One of the most powerful things you can do to help cultivate
your sense of autonomy, is to reflect on these choices with an unbiased lens, and
acknowledge and celebrate when you’ve taken action to take you closer to your goals.

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To cultivate greater autonomy and radical ownership, here’s what we invite you to do:

STEP 1 Reflect on the last six months and identify one thing that you’ve done
where you were happy with the outcome. Write it below.

STEP 2 Set a timer for 10 minutes. Now, list all of the choices you made to
achieve the outcome you were happy with. What did you do? What did
you think? What qualities did you apply? What skills did you lean on?

STEP 3 Consciously take ownership of all of this. Celebrate it. Remind yourself
that you put in the effort, the dedication, the determination to make it
happen. You did that.

Repeat this exercise each week or each month, whatever rhythm works best for you.
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Technique 2: Realistic Risk Assessment
A simple yet highly effective exercise is to realistically risk-assess for optimal decisions and to
combat doubt. In business, risk assessments are a part of due diligence and
conscientiousness, so we apply this same exercise to our own pursuits too.

STEP 1 Grab a sheet of paper, and draw two lines to create three columns of equal
width. In the left column, write down all of the possible risks – what are you
concerned about? What are the challenges or obstacles that are
reasonably likely to arise?

STEP 2 Using a different colored pen, circle everything that you have control over.
This is a simple exercise to remind yourself not to focus on what’s outside
of your control.

STEP 3 In the middle column, write down how you can mitigate this risk. What
precautionary action can you take in response to these challenges?
Use active language and write “I will…” or “I intend…” for the action you’ll
take to mitigate the challenges and the risks. Make a commitment to
having an action orientation.

STEP 4 In the right column, write what you’ll do if this risk you fear does become a
reality, in spite of your mitigation efforts. You’re creating your
“implementation intentions” by creating your “if…then” plan. “If this
happens, then I will [fill in the blank]…”
Visualize yourself facing these challenges and how you’ll work through
them. How will you rise above? How will you respond? Who will you reach
out to for support?

Research confirms that visualizing challenges and how to overcome them is a powerful way
to become comfortable with risks, and to gear yourself towards action.

RESEARCH
• Gollwitzer, P. M., & Brandstätter, V. (1997). Implementation intentions and effective goal pursuit. Journal of Personality
and Social Psychology, 73(1), 186.
• Maier, S. F., & Watkins, L. R. (2005). Stressor controllability and learned helplessness: the roles of the dorsal raphe
nucleus, serotonin, and corticotropin-releasing factor. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 29(4-5), 829-841.
• Mueller, C. M., & Dweck, C. S. (1998). Praise for intelligence can undermine children's motivation and performance.
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 75(1), 33–52.
• Shepperd, J. A., & Arkin, R. M. (1991). Behavioral other-enhancement: Strategically obscuring the link between
performance and evaluation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 60(1), 79

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BONUS: The ‘RISE’ Above Technique
This is a third technique focussing on our cognition, to help you RISE above and take
ownership of a situation when you’re feeling that things are outside your control.
So here’s where we RISE above the narrative to shift our defeatist mindset of learned
helplessness to develop a groove of reframing our responses to negative situations,
focussing on Agency.

There’s a four step process:

Recall the event, as objectively as possible. For example,

R Recollect “My business partner didn’t show up to the important

meeting with our key client.”

How did you interpret the adversity? For example, “I

can’t believe he would be so careless to forget to show
up… he doesn’t take our business seriously.”
Interpret
I & Introspect
Then, reflect on the feelings and actions that resulted
from your interpretation. How did you handle things? For
example, “I was overcome with frustration and felt
betrayed which made me snap at my business partner.”

Study your reactions and ask whether there could be

S Study
another explanation for what happened. Is there another
interpretation? For example, “Maybe I overreacted.
Maybe he was dealing with an emergency?”

Make a commitment to elevate yourself from the

E Elevate
emotion and seek more information, consider other
possibilities and to take a different approach. “I’ll reach
out to him to check if he’s ok.”

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LESSON 7 – Adaptability:
Navigating the Ups & Downs

The Driving Force Behind Our Decisions

As much as we’d like to think that we’re entirely rational beings, the reality is, we make a lot
of our decisions emotionally. And if we’re not able to navigate our emotional energy states
then we can’t appropriately adapt to the world around us, especially when faced with the
unexpected.

A prerequisite of unshakeable determination is the ability to adapt to anything that you’re

faced with - uncertainty, failure, rejection, obstacles – because it’s your state that will unravel
first in these moments.

The Cognitive Model of Behavior

According to the cognitive model of
behavior, our thoughts and what we think
(called cognition) influences what we feel
(the emotional component). This affects
what we do (the behavioral component)
which reinforces our initial thoughts.

What this means is that if we can reinterpret

a situation and change the meaning we
apply to it, we can change how we feel
which will influence what we do.

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Emotions Are Data, not Directives
While there’s no scientific consensus on a single definition of emotion, we can understand it
as “data.” Whether positive, negative or ambivalent, emotions are telling us something. It’s
up to us to then interpret that data.

The first step is to identify our emotional state.

Lisa Feldman Barrett and colleagues published research in 1999 which outlined how
emotions are simply a combination of two dimensions, and this two-dimensional emotion
model is a commonly held view of many researchers in the field. The two dimensions are:

1. Valence: Whether the emotion is positive or negative. This isn’t “good” or “bad”, but
how pleasant or unpleasant that emotion is, and

2. Level of arousal or intensity: Physiological arousal in and on the body.

This diagram demonstrates how different emotions would be mapped across these two
dimensions.

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Technique 1: Self-Awareness & De-identification
To get better at emotionally adapting no matter what you’re faced with, use these science-
based techniques to help you.

Neuroimaging studies have found that simply naming an unpleasant state in a given moment
can reduce activity in the amygdala and increase activity in the prefrontal cortex, reducing
your experience of that emotion.

STEP 1: First, plot the emotion on the emotion chart below the two

Plot dimensions we discussed earlier. Is it pleasant or unpleasant? High

intensity or low intensity?

STEP 2: Identify the specific state you’re experiencing – what exact emotion is

Label it? Having a well-developed emotional vocabulary is an important

emotional intelligence competency. You can refer to the Wilcox
Feeling Wheel on the next page to help.
Importantly, instead of identifying with the emotion (for example
rather than saying, “I AM angry,” say to yourself, “I feel angry…” or
“I’ve registered the emotion of anger”.

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Wilcox Feeling Wheel (Wilcox, 1982)
A tool for expanding awareness of emotion and emotional vocabulary.

What specific emotion are you experiencing?

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Technique 2: Encouraging Rationality
To promote greater rationality in your thinking in the moment, become your own coach. Self-
coach your way through these questions:

• What am I reacting to - what triggered • What belief might this be reflecting?

this state? What is the stimulus? • How would someone else have
• What do I feel in and on my body? interpreted the situation?
• What is my thought process? • How else could I interpret the situation?
• What led me to think that way? • Is this state helping me or is it hindering
• How did I draw that conclusion? me?

Technique 3: Oppositional Action Strategy

Every single emotion has a corresponding bodily action. If you’re feeling joy, you’ll want to
move towards the source of the joy. If you’re feeling fear, you’ll avoid the source of the fear
to keep yourself safe. Sometimes our emotional reactions are disproportionate or even not
warranted. Where this is the case, you can apply the Oppositional Action Strategy.

STEP 1 Consider an instance in your life where a negative emotion is hindering

you from taking action. Contemplate whether the emotion and its
intensity are suitable for the situation.
Write down your thoughts about this unpleasant emotion that's holding
you back from action. Be sure to include the situation, the
counterproductive emotion, and the alternative behaviors it's causing
you to engage in.

For example, “Fear of judgment leads me to stay silent in meetings.”

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STEP 2 Having identified the counterproductive emotions that are hindering
you (leading to avoidance), now write down the opposite action.

For example, if you’re not speaking up in meetings (which is avoidance behavior), the
opposite action is to speak up. If your anxiety is leading you to slouch and frown, sit
upright with a smile.

The Oppositional Action Strategy is based on Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and can be an
effective emotional regulation technique, helping you develop your adaptability. You don’t
hide or suppress the emotion but channel it into something proactive and positive.

When we change our behavior into the opposite of an emotional urge, we’re able to alter
the meaning of that event with little conscious effort which can be powerful. This is tapping
into the cognitive model of behavior.

RESEARCH
• Feldman Barrett L., Russell J.A. The structure of current affect: Controversies and emerging consensus. Current Directions
in Psychological Science. 1999;8:10–14.
• Hosie, L., & Dickens, G. L. (2018). Harm-reduction approaches for self-cutting in inpatient mental health settings:
Development and preliminary validation of the Attitudes to Self-cutting Management (ASc-Me) Scale. Journal of
Psychiatric and Mental Health Nursing, 25(9-10), 531-545.
• Lynch, T. R., Chapman, A. L., Rosenthal, M. Z., Kuo, J. R., & Linehan, M. M. (2006). Mechanisms of change in dialectical
behavior therapy: Theoretical and empirical observations. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 62, 459–480.
• Munoz-de-Escalona, E., & Canas, J. J. (2017). Online measuring of available resources. In The first international
symposium on human mental workload. Dublin, Ireland.
• Neacsiu, A. D., Bohus, M., & Linehan, M. M. (2014). Dialectical behavior therapy: An intervention for emotion
dysregulation. Handbook of emotion regulation, 2, 491-508.
• Soussignan, R. (2002). Duchenne smile, emotional experience, and autonomic reactivity: A test of the facial feedback
hypothesis. Emotion, 2, 52–74.
• Willcox, G. (1982). The feeling wheel: A tool for expanding awareness of emotions and increasing spontaneity and
intimacy. Transactional Analysis Journal, 12(4), 274-276.
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PART 3.
PART 3.
CULTIVATE
CULTIVATE MASTERY
MASTERY & SELF-
& SELF-AWARENESS
AWARENESS

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LESSON 8 – Become Resilient
to External Forces

Protecting Your Foundation from Media Influence

STEP 1 Raise Your Consciousness.

Next time you’re reading a news article about the housing market, the
stock market, the economy, anything that makes you feel a sense of
FOMO or unease, STOP and ask yourself these two questions:
1. What incentive does this news article have to be sharing this
particular point of view? For example, some media platforms are
heavily embroiled in the housing market and benefit from inflated
prices.
2. How is this leading me to feel? Do I feel a sense of FOMO?
Inadequacy? Do I feel deficient, like I’m falling behind?
Capture your thoughts by writing them down either below or in a
journal.

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STEP 2 Complete Your Social Media Stocktake.
Next time you’re using social media, pay attention to how you feel when
you see what the people in your network share. The moment you feel
uneasy, inadequate, or you notice self-doubt creeping in, STOP.

You have three choices:

1. Swipe away – a temporary fix,
2. Close the app – another temporary fix or
3. Unfollow – a more permanent fix.

You choose who you surround yourself with – in person and online. You have free will to
choose what you expose yourself to that can either elevate or drain your energy. Unfollow
anyone or anything that doesn’t uplift you.

Attract Your Soul-Tribe

STEP 1 Reflect on the last two weeks, and write down everyone you came into
contact with (including online).

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STEP 2 Continuing that list, reflect on the last six months, and add everyone you
interact with regularity – family, friends, coworkers.

STEP 3 Grab a different colored pen, and circle those people who you find
empowering. Who uplifts you when you’re around them? Who do you
admire? Who makes you feel like you want to be a better person after
you interact with them?

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STEP 4 Now write a new list with only the people you circled. These are “your”
people – Your “Soul-Tribe”.

Commit to dedicating more time to the people who positively impact your life and nurture
these relationships. If possible, limit interactions with those who aren't on this list, or at least
be mindful of their influence on you. Cultivate inner resilience to safeguard your energy when
engaging with them.

RESEARCH
• Burke, M., Cheng, J., & de Gant, B. (2020). Social comparison and Facebook: Feedback, positivity, and opportunities for
comparison. In Proceedings of the 2020 CHI Conference on Human Factors in Computing Systems (1-13).
• Kramer, A. D., Guillory, J. E., & Hancock, J. T. (2014). Experimental evidence of massive-scale emotional contagion
through social networks. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 111(24), 8788-8790.
• White, S. S., & Locke, E. A. (2000). Problems with the Pygmalion effect and some proposed solutions. The Leadership
Quarterly, 11(3), 389-415.

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LESSON 9 – Self-Forgetting:
The Key to Self-Mastery
“The Master Key to Self-Mastery
is Self-Forgetting.”
– ʻABDU'L-BAHÁ

The master key to self-mastery is self-forgetting. This is a profound realization that redirects
our focus from external expectations to our own inner standards. It is a recognition that true
fulfillment comes from living a life aligned with our values rather than conforming to others'
ideals.

Self-forgetting serves as a powerful antidote to self-doubt, enabling us to break free from

ego-centric thinking, toxic comparisons, and feelings of inadequacy. By making "being of
meaningful value" and creating a lasting impact our driving force, it propels us to shift our
focus towards creating impact beyond ourselves, generating ripples that leave a lasting
effect in the world. Quoting Joseph Campbell, "When we quit thinking primarily about
ourselves and our own self-preservation, we undergo a truly heroic transformation of
consciousness." This transformation awaits as we embrace the power of self-forgetting,
allowing us to embark on a heroic journey of self-discovery and meaningful contribution to
the world.

Tapping into the Benefits

To tap into the benefits of shifting to self-forgetting, it requires an active and intentional
process that demands your time and energy investment. A meaningful starting point is to
reflect on the question: "Why am I pursuing this path? What is the greater purpose behind
my actions?"

By reframing your motivations and finding ways to make your endeavors about more than
just yourself, you can infuse them with deeper meaning and significance.

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An Enduring Sense of Purpose
Psychological research reveals that a lasting sense of purpose comprises two essential
components:

1 2
PERSONAL EXTERNAL
SIGNIFICANCE IMPACT

Your pursuits should not only hold personal meaning to you but also contribute to
something beyond yourself, benefiting others or a greater cause. By aligning your actions
with these two aspects, you can cultivate a sense of purpose that fuels your journey towards
self-mastery and makes a positive difference in the world.

Clarifying Core Values

“Core values serve as a lighthouse when the fog of life seems to leave you
wandering in circles; when you encounter that moment when every decision
is a tough one and no choice seems to clearly be the better choice.” – J. L. NORIS

When we have a deep understanding of our intrinsic core values, our sense of self becomes clear.
We gain a profound awareness of who we are and what truly matters to us. Our choices and actions
become aligned with our authentic selves, rather than conforming to the expectations and values of
others. Embracing our core values allows us to feel comfortable in our own skin.

Reflect on and then write down your responses to the following questions:

1. What are my nonnegotiable moral absolutes?

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2. What values do I aspire to apply?

3. What values will help me build strong relationships?

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Core Values List: Self-Rating
Work through the list of Values below, and rate them based on how much of a priority they
are to you and how much intentional influence they have on your day-to-day life.
Make sure you’re choosing values based on which ones have intrinsic motivation for you,
meaning something that gives you inherent satisfaction, rather than because someone else
expects that of you.

Rating:
1 = Not a priority 4 = Very important
2 = Slightly important 5 = Extremely important
3= Moderately important

Values List

Value Definition Example Rating

Being true to oneself Speaking and acting honestly, even

Authenticity
and one's values if it's not popular

Showing empathy and Volunteering at a local charity or

Compassion
concern for others helping a friend in need

Facing fears and taking Speaking up for what is right, even

Courage
risks when it's unpopular

Thinking outside the box

Trying a new hobby or finding a
Creativity and generating new
new way to solve a problem
ideas

Reading books on new topics or

Having a desire to learn
Curiosity taking a class on a subject of
and explore
interest

Understanding and Putting oneself in another's shoes

Empathy sharing the feelings of to better understand their
others perspective

Treating others equally Ensuring that everyone has an

Fairness
and justly equal opportunity to succeed

Letting go of resentment
Offering forgiveness to someone
Forgiveness and anger towards
who has hurt you
others

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Appreciating and
Writing a thank you note to
Gratitude expressing thanks for
someone who has helped
what one has

Being truthful and

Refraining from lying or omitting
Honesty transparent in
important information
interactions

Acknowledging that one's

Having a modest and
Humility accomplishments are due to the
unpretentious attitude
help of others

Taking action and

Proposing a new project or
Initiative showing willingness to
volunteering for a leadership role
lead

Upholding what is fair Advocating for the underprivileged

Justice
and right or oppressed

Acting with warmth and

Offering a compliment or lending a
Kindness compassion towards
listening ear
others

Staying committed and Supporting a friend or family

Loyalty
faithful to others member through a difficult time

Being present and Practicing meditation or taking a

Mindfulness
aware in the moment mindful walk

Believing in the best Maintaining a positive outlook in

Optimism
possible outcome challenging situations

Remaining calm and

Waiting calmly in a long line or
Patience tolerant in the face of
enduring a challenging task
delay or frustration

Persisting in the face of

Continuing to work towards a goal
Perseverance challenges and
even when it gets tough
obstacles

Treating others with Listening to and considering the

Respect
dignity and kindness opinions of others

Being accountable for

Owning up to mistakes and taking
Responsibility one's actions and
steps to correct them
decisions

Prioritizing one's
Exercising regularly or taking time
Self-care physical and mental
for a hobby
well-being

Putting the needs of Volunteering at a local soup

Selflessness
others before oneself kitchen or donating to charity

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Contributing to the Volunteering at a community event
Service betterment of others or participating in a fundraising
and society campaign

Connecting with a Practicing prayer or meditation, or

Spirituality higher power or participating in a religious
purpose community

Accepting and
Embracing diverse cultures or
Tolerance respecting differences in
lifestyles
others

Being reliable and

Keeping promises and maintaining
Trustworthiness dependable in
confidentiality
relationships

Being honest and

Telling the truth, even if it may be
Truthfulness transparent in words
difficult or uncomfortable
and actions

The state of being

united or working Coming together as a team to
Unity
together towards a solve a complex problem
common goal

Applying knowledge Seeking advice from trusted

Wisdom and experience to make mentors or reflecting on past
sound decisions experiences

Being dedicated and Consistently showing up on time

Work Ethic
hardworking in tasks and completing work on schedule

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Your Top 5 Core Values
Capture your top five highest priority values below. Write what the value means to you and
what it looks like in action. How will you live that value in your day-to-day life?

Core Value 1:
What this value means to me:

How will I live this value in my day-to-day life:

Core Value 2:
What this value means to me:

How will I live this value in my day-to-day life:

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Core Value 3:
What this value means to me:

How will I live this value in my day-to-day life:

Core Value 4:
What this value means to me:

How will I live this value in my day-to-day life:

Core Value 5:
What this value means to me:

How will I live this value in my day-to-day life:

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Crafting Your Impact Statement
Writing your own mission statement will help you gain clarity on how you intend to add
value to the world and to stay the course so that your self-determination remains
unshakeable.

The Three-Part Template

Use this simple template which is one
easy way to succinctly capture what you
do and the impact you want to have:

For example, ”I [insert what you do in an engaging way] using [insert key qualities] to [the
impact it has or the outcome you hope to achieve].”

Write yours below:

“I …

using…

to…

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LESSON 10 – Becoming the
Protagonist of Your Story
“Who are we but the stories
we tell ourselves, about ourselves,
and believe?”
– SCOTT TURROW

Rewriting Your Story

STEP 1 Understand Your Current Story

Grab a notebook or journal, set a timer for 20 minutes, and capture your
responses to the below questions:
1. How would I describe myself to someone else?
2. What do I want to change about myself?
3. Thinking back to my last big challenge, how did I interpret it? What did
I do? How did it affect me then? How does it still affect me?

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STEP 2 Externalize Your Story
This is where you need to acknowledge and recognize that your story of
challenge, hardship, or adversity is separate from your identity, and
because it’s separate from your identity, you can tweak or edit your story.
Take time to think about how you could find meaning in each of your
challenging experiences.
Capture your responses to the questions below:
1. What’s the story I prefer to be telling?
2. How would I prefer to see myself coping with the situation?

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STEP 3 Re-author Your Story
Rewrite what you wrote in Step 1, this time to focus on using more
empowering language and on finding meaning through it.
Here’s what to focus on:
1. How can I rewrite this challenge, this adversity, to focus on the
growth?
2. What did I learn? How did I grow?
3. How did it shape my perspective, my world view, give me greater
empathy for others who also suffer?
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–

Your Future Identity Biography

What future identity do you want to create?
Clearly identify the future identity you want to create. Imagine yourself 20 years in the
future. You’re fulfilled. You’re living life with meaning. You’ve achieved what you set out
to. You’re surrounded by loved ones who care about you. And you’ve had a remarkable
impact in the world. Not only that, you’ve been living life with Unshakeable self-
determination.
Write who this person is, including –
• What they stand for, their qualities, the difference they make in other people’s lives,
• Their achievements, what they’re most proud of, and how they’ve served their
community,
• The challenges they’ve faced and how they overcame these challenges.

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Next Steps

Visualize
After completing your Future Identity Biography, take a moment to visualize yourself in that
future state. Immerse yourself in the feelings of satisfaction and fulfillment that come from
living a meaningful and contributive life. Whenever you need motivation or a reminder of
your ultimate destination, recall this visualization to help reignite your determination.

Prioritize
Once you've reconnected with that enthusiasm for your future identity, return to the
present, and identify three immediate priorities that will serve as your initial steps toward
that desired future. Setting clear, compelling goals helps focus your attention on actionable
steps.

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PRIORITY 1:

PRIORITY 2:

PRIORITY 3:

Write these goals on post-it notes or in a visible location that you'll see every day, serving
as a constant reminder of the path you're forging toward your future identity.

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NOTES & REFLECTIONS

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CONGRATULATIONS ON
COMPLETING THE QUEST!

CONGRATULATIONS ON
COMPLETING THE QUEST!

By taking deliberate action,

you can attain your goals
By
andtaking
forge a deliberate action,
life that you adore –
you canimbued
attain with joy, goals
your
meaning,
and forge aandlifelasting
that influence.
you adore
– imbued
We’rewith joy,
excited formeaning,
you
and wish you all the best
and lasting influence.
on your journey!

We’re excited
- Shadé for you
& Fayçal
and wish you all the best
on your journey!

- Shadé & Fayçal

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