Navigating

Academia
Writing
Supporting
Genres
"

JOHN M. SWALES
CHRISTINE B. FEAK

::LlA The Michigan Series in English for

_ p~ Academic & Professional Purposes
An Opening Orientation

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Reproduced with permission from Piled Higher and Deeper

by Jorge Cham (www.phdcomics.com).

Th'IS volume covers a lot of ground. So, in order to get some sense of the
~nds of consideration that hold it together, we offer this short overview sec-
tion. One way of doing this is via a questionnaire-a questionnaire designed
to get you to think (and perhaps rethink) your attitude toward academic
correspondence and its related genres.
2 NAVIGATING ACADEMIA OPENING ORIENTATION
AN 3
Task One _
Students in one of our current Writing for Publication classes completed
How do you respond to these statements? Circle the numbers of your responses the questionnaire, and their averaged responses are given. (Remember, the
(1 = strongly disagree; 5 = strongly agree). If you have a partner, discuss your higher the score, the greater the agreement with the statement.) How do
responses as you proceed. your scores compare?

1. Effective academic correspondence is as important 1. 4.1

as effective scholarly or research writing. 2 3 4 5
2. 2.3

2. Creating and responding to emails well is useful, but 3. 4.3

not as important as making a good impression in 4. 1.4
face-to-face meetings. 2 3 4 5
5. 2.5
3. I would always ask one of my professors for advice 6. 3.1
before submitting an important application (e.g., for
7. 2.5
a full-time job). 1 2 3 4 5
8. 2.5
4. Letters of recommendation are easy to write 9. 4.0
because they are about other people. 2 3 4 5
10. 3.9

5. The more senior the person, the more carelessly

2 3 4 5 As you can see, there was agreement with Statements 1,3,9, and 10; dis-
written his or her emails tend to be.
agreement with Statement 4; and neutral or mixed responses to the others.
6. In application letters, the focus should be on what So, the class did think that effective academic correspondence, getting advice
you can do for the organization you are applying to, from advisors, and choosing good email subject lines were all important. ••
not on what you have done in the past (for
They also did not think that writing letters of recommendation is easy!
another institution). 2 3 4 5

7. Open (To Whom It May Concern) recommendation

letters have very little value. 2 3 4 5
The Structure of Supporting Genres
The next introductory topic is the rhetorical organization of examples of sup-
8. Spontaneous emails (those written using an email
Porting genres, which will be followed by a short section on questions of
program) are typically fresher but less audience-
appropriate style. One well-known instance of the former is the different
sensitive than those composed using a word
Structure of "good news" letters (you got the job) and "bad news" letters
processing program and then copied
and pasted into the message. 2 3 4 5 (sorry, you didn't get the job). According to experts in business communica-
tions, the announcement of a successful outcome can come early in the let-
9. Subject lines in emails are more important than ter, while in the "bad news" case, the reader should be prepared for rejection
generally thought. 2 3 4 5
by various kinds of preceding explanation. These might include statements
about the large number of applicants, the closeness of the decision given the
10. Colleagues are a better source of assistance with
academic correspondence than the Internet. 2 3 4 5 qUality of the candidates, or the seriousness with which the committee has
COnsidered the reader's application.
NAVIGATING ACADEMIA AN OPENING ORIENTATION 5
4

Another instance of differences in rhetorical organization can be seen in Text B

requests. Here are the two main possibilities for where to place the request Dear Professor Swales
(Kirkpatrick, 1991): Would you be able to send me a copy of the 1983 volume on English

1. request followed by supporting reasons andlor justifications for Specific Purposes in the Arab World, which you co-edited with Has-

2. reasons andlor justifications leading up to the request san Mustafa? I have looked for it here in Morocco, but in vain; I found
it is not available. I am currently writing a thesis on the history of Eng-
1. What about yourself? Do you have a preference? Does your culture have lish for Specific Purposes in the Arab World. I have been interested in
a general preference? (According to Kirkpatrick, Chinese culture generally your work for some time. I am looking forward to hearing from you
prefers the second one.)
soon.
2. Or do you think it all depends on the circumstances? For example, simple With respect,
requests can be direct and up front, while major and imposing requests
Ms Fatima Abdulla
will need considerable preparation.

Academic Correspondence Styles

Task Two ----------------- Over the years and for a number of reasons, correspondence styles have
Here are two versions of an email request; they differ principally in their struc-
become slowly and somewhat more informal. A hundred years ago, an aca-
ture. Which do you prefer, and why?
demic job applicant might open the letter with something like:
Text A
a. The undersigned is extremely desirous of obtaining gainful employ- ..
Dear Professor Swales,
I have been interested in your work for some time, and I am currently ment with your esteemed institution ....

writing a thesis on the history of English for Specific Purposes in the On the other hand, the academic job search remains a serious business
Arab World. In this context, I have seen a reference to a 1983 volume today, and it is still unacceptable to use a highly informal and colloquial
style such as:
on this topic, which you co-edited with Hassan Mustafa. I have looked
for it here in Morocco, but in vain; I found it is not available. Would b. Hi! I saw your recent advert, so I'm really keen on getting a job
you be able to send me a copy? I am looking forward to hearing from with your outfit ....
you soon,
Most people expect a happy medium in academic correspondence-
With respect personal but quite formal:
Ms Fatima Abdulla
c. I am writing to apply for your Assistant Professor position in the
Department of Economics recently posted in The Chronicle of
Higher Education....
6 NAVIGATING ACADEMIA AN OPENING ORIENTATION
7
Task Three _
Professor Charles E. Carpenter
Which of these concluding statements would you choose for an application Chair, Department of Social Physics
cover letter?

a. Thanks for reading my application & looking forward to hearing Dear Chuck,
back soon. Thank you for your letter of March 17. However, after careful consid-
b. In closing, this applicant iterates his deep interest in the position eration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to
and expresses his profound appreciation of your careful review of offer me employment with your institution.
his case. This year has been exceptional in that I have received an unusually
c. Thank you for your consideration and looking forward to hearing large number of rejection letters. In such a circumstance, it has proved
from you in due course. impossible for me to accept all refusals.

And the closing salutation? We have listed these in order from most for- Despite your university's outstanding qualifications and previous

mal to most informal. Where in the list would you place Kind Regards, Yours experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not
Truly, and Cheers? meet with my needs at the present time. Therefore, I will initiate

d. Yours faithfully employment with your university at the beginning of the new academic
year. I look forward to seeing you then.
e. Sincerely
Best of luck in rejecting future candidates.
£ Warm regards
g. Regards
Sincerely ..
h. Best wishes
Sophia P. Petros
1. Best

On a Lighter Note
We close this section with a parody that circulated on the Internet several
years ago. You will remember that earlier we briefly discussed some of the
components of standard job rejection letters, such as an expression of regret,
a reference to the unexpectedly large number of applicants, and the use of
evasive phrases like does not meet our needs at this time.
In what follows a rejected applicant pretends to get her "revenge," imitat-
ing the style and content of the typical "bad news" letter. There is always
something to learn from good parodies about the characteristics of the orig-
inals. So enjoy!
Getting into Graduate School

Statements of Purpose and Personal Statements are typically one to two-page

essaysrequired as part of graduate student applications in the United States
for master's and doctoral programs. These texts are now part of a complex
set of application documents that also includes:

a. a CV (see pages 85-91)

b. a GPA transcript from your undergraduate school
c. Various test scores such as GRE® and TOEFL®
d. Two or three letters of recommendation
e. In many humanities and social science fields, a sample of your aca-
demic writing, such as a term paper.

At the time of writing, the situation in the United States with regard to
these two gentes is rather inconsistent. Some universities prefer the term
Statement of Purpose (SOP) and some prefer the term Personal Statement (PS)
while still expecting similar one to two-page essays from their applicants. On ••
the other hand, according to recent research, more and more departments
are increasingly expecting both! In these cases, of course, the two texts will
have to be very different.
Elsewhere, as in the U.K., only one statement is usually required. Again,
this is an important document. This quotation from Lancaster University
(U.K.) is typical:

This is an important section of the form as our admissions staff will use it
to understand why you wish to study with us and what makes you a suit-
able candidate for the programme you have chosen.

9
10 NAVIGATING ACADEMIA
GETTING INTO GRADUATE SCHOOL
11

Statentents of Purpose involvement and their determination to acquire useful, practi-

We will start with Statements of Purpose (SOPs). The SOP is a problematic cal skills within a relatively short time frame. (In consequence,
genre to write for a number of reasons: a particular danger confronts those master's students going on
to apply for a PhD because their personal statements should
Reason 1. In contrast to many of the 'open' gentes, it has been under- not suggest that they just want "more of the same" type of
researched by applied linguists, apart from a 2004 special issue education.)
of the journal Issues in Writing and two recent articles in Eng-
Reason 4. It is hard to get good examples that are both relevant and help-
lish for Specific Purposes (Ding, 2007; Samraj & Monk, 2008).
ful for your own particular situation. Although general advice
Reason 2. It is a significant part of the gatekeeping process for graduate is increasingly available in manuals and on the Internet (Sam-
school entry. raj & Monk, 2008), it can be misleading. For example, Brown
Reason 3. Due to different educational traditions and emphases in vari- (2004), in his study of applications for PhD psychology pro-
ous parts of the world, some readers in the U.S. may have dif- grams, showed that applicants in this field need to be aware of
ficulty in interpreting and appreciating SOPs from whether the departmental focus is primarily on academic
international students. research or clinical practice. Obviously, this kind of considera-
tion is not generally applicable.
Reason 4. The gente is challenging because, as Ding (2007) points out,
most applicants are unfamiliar with the conventions of the Reason 3. Our experience of reading SOPs and helping international
gente and are (as yet) unfamiliar with the expectations of the students with their drafts suggests that different parts of the
disciplinary community they are hoping to enter. world have different priorities and so emphasize different
Reason 5. Different strategies are needed for master's and PhD program things. These differences may still, in a globalizing world,
reflect cross-cultural differences, but equally they may reflect
SOPs. ..
different educational values. In effect, the following "moves"
Reason 6. The two current names for the gente (Statement of Purpose and
may not always have the positive effect on their U.S. reader-
Personal Statement) are both somewhat misleading.
ship that their authors are looking for:
We will comment on these issues in reverse order. Some SOPscontain lengthy early educational histories and
rely heavily on ranking data. For example, "My department
Reason 6. The SOP label tends to cause authors to overemphasize their
is ranked as the fourth best in my country, and in my final
anticipated future research projects and career trajectories, while
undergraduate year I was ranked third out of 73 civil engi-
the PS label tends to cause authors to overemphasize their past neering students."
achievements. It is therefore necessary to think carefully about
Some SOPscontain appeals for sympathy and special con-
how best to balance stressing the value of past achievements and
sideration: "Despite my humble background, I have studied
the validity and credibility of future aspirations.
hard all my life, even when life was very difficult. Moreover,
Reason 5. Applicants to PhD programs need to demonstrate in some I am the youngest of eight siblings, only two of whom have
way that they have the intellectual resources and academic per- jobs. "
sistence to survive a typical five-year journey to a U.S. PhD. In SOPs may appear too modest and rely too much on the
contrast, master's applicants need to stress their professional belief that "deeds speak louder than words": "As you can
NAVIGATING ACADEMIA NG INTO GRADUATE SCHOOL 13
GET TI
12
see from my CV, I have done reasonably well at college, ou can doubtless imagine, the application goes on to say that this fore-
and I now feel I may be ready for graduate school." As 'I was fully mended by brilliant surgical intervention and thus the young
arrn
was inspired to follow a career in surgery.
Some SOPstry to cover all the bases by showing that the rnan
applicant is interested in everything a department has to A second example comes from an undergraduate of our acquaintance
offer. So a linguistics applicant might write, "I am inter- who graduated in 2006 in linguistics and then applied for an MA in applied
ested in generative syntax, phonetic change, Jamaican cre- linguistics at a leading British university. She opens with this rhetorically
oles, cross-cultural semiotics, and neurolinguistics." arresting mini-hook:

The moment came on Friday,June 23rd, 2006, at precisely 5:25 PM. I was
Reason 2. An SOP is not a simple document to create and will probably
attending an applied linguistics conference.... (and then she goes on to
require several drafts. It is also important. One sensible piece
write about the conference, and about many other things).
of advice is to get the reactions of others to those drafts, such
as teachers, fellow students, or more senior students and those But at the end of her final paragraph, she returns to her "mysterious" open-
already in a U.S. higher degree program. This provides an ing sentence:
opportunity to test out whether you are making the right As the conference went on, I set a challenge for myself: I would ask a
impression on your readers. question of one of the speakers about their presentation. When the final
Reason 1. In the 2004 Issues in Writing on SOPs, Bekins, Huckin. and speaker stepped up to the podium, I knew this was my last chance ...
Kijak offer a move analysis of medical residency application And so the moment arrived, that Friday afternoon; I stood up, took a
statements, which they calculate was adopted in 60-70 per- deep breath, and crossed the line from observer to participant in the pro-
fessional world of applied linguistics.
cent of the effective texts:
Move 1: Hook (a narrative to grab the reader's attention) As you might have guessed, her application was also successful. ..
Move 2: Program (why this particular specialization/ These two examples underscore the importance of a good start. In fact,
the observational and interview data in the Issues in Writing volume dis-
location)
Move 3: Background (evaluation of skills, landmarks of cussed earlier indicate that the expert readers on admission committees rely
to a considerable extent on first impressions-whether they are turned on or
achievement)
turned off by the opening paragraph. A wrong step here can be hard to
Move 4: Self-promotion (distinctive individual qualities)
recover from. For example, Barton, Ariail, and Smith found that "if the
Move 5: Projection (personal professional goals/career
opening failed, either because it was not memorable or because it made no
trajectory) compelling connection to the profession, the readers skipped, skimmed,
expressed criticism, and generally reacted negatively to the text" (2004, p.
Here is one of their winning hooks (from an application for medical resi-
109). But here we need to remember that these readers were working in a
dency in surgery):
medical school context. Elsewhere, different criteria may apply, but a gener-
I remember hearing the loud snap resonating across the field and having ally useful question to ask yourself is: What is there about my statement that
no doubt it was broken. Looking down at my forearm during the high the reader will remember?
school football game, the distal end dangling as both the left radius and
ulna had been broken at midshaft. I felt certain I had experienced my last
football event....
NAVIGATING ACADEMIA G INTO GRADUATE SCHOOL 15
GETT IN
14
(3) Why I want to do a PhD in Chemical Engineering
Task Four -,
@ The interest, however, encountered limitations caused by the heavy
This task offers a sample SOP from a master's student (here called Gene) apply-
ing for a PhD program in Chemical Engineering. Since it is fairly long, we have emphasis on a theoretical approach in Mechanical Engineering and my
added short numbered paragraph headings to help you through it. We have lack of understanding of electrochemical reactions in Chemical Engi-
also added sentence numbers for ease of reference. Now read the SOP and the
discussion between the author and his writing tutor that follows. Then respond
neering. @ My Master's research project under Prof XXX was theory-
to the questions that have been inserted within the discussion. oriented since I mainly conducted model development of a PEM fuel
cell based on physics and its simulation. @ And yet, this theoretical
Statement of Purpose approach proved insufficient to attain the research objectives. ® A theo-

(1) Engineering today in general and at your university retical approach seemed only "theoretical" to me without results from

<D Contemporary engineering requires a comprehensive approach in relevant experiments. @ In addition, I realized the need for expertise in

creating new ideas and concepts. ~ Various engineering disciplines are Chemical Engineering for an integrated approach to the fuel cell system.

essential to solving the most sophisticated technical questions. Q) As @ Although I read a number of journals in the field of electrochemistry,

such, I believe that it is crucial to combine my Mechanical Engineering it was hard to connect transport phenomena in fuel cells with relevant

background with Chemical Engineering in order to study my chosen electrochemical reactions without a knowledge of Chemical Engineering.

area of energy conversion and storage systems. ® The resources available (4) My special interests in fuel cells
in the PhD program in Chemical Engineering at the University of @ Through this process, I have grasped the significance of combining
______ will help me attain my ambition to become an interdis- my Mechanical Engineering background with Chemical Engineering. ..
ciplinary expert in the field. @ Chemical Engineering's focus on experiments will assist me in

(2) My background in engineering and my current interests improving my lack of experiments in my interested field. @ Besides,

~ I believe that gaining in-depth knowledge in Chemical Engineer- expertise in Chemical Engineering will help me better understand the

ing is indispensable to creating an efficient fuel cell system. ® As an process of catalytic reactions coupled with thermal-fluid transport.

undergraduate Automotive Engineering major, I was deeply fascinated @ This knowledge in thin film and catalysis process will be an indispen-

with developing an environmentally friendly energy system in automo- sable asset to produce a stable and efficient fuel cell performance.

biles. (J) This interest prompted me to pursue my Master's in Mechanical (5) Why your department is the best for me
Engineering to gain access to numerous related research studies. ® Dur- @ The Chemical Engineering department at the University of
ing my Master's, I have become more interested in a specific area of an - is renowned for its excellence in my area of interest
alternative energy source-fuel cells and batteries-than a powertrain and for being a close-knit community. ® Along with its specific
system in general. ® This area of interest has guided me through my research interest in the field of Energy and Environment, the depart-

academic pursuit ever since. ment also has faculty members who share similar research interests to
16 NAVIGATING ACADEMIA GETTING INTO GRADUATE SCHOOL 17
mine. ® Prof. XXX, Prof. XXX, and Prof. XXX in the department all strengthen the program. A great move, Gene! It is also just under
demonstrate their interest in the field of electrochemical fuel cells. the 600-word limit.
@) I was also impressed with the department's intimate environment.
2. Do you agree with Kay that these are the strengths of this SOP? Or is she
@ From my previous ChE 602 class, I witnessed the dynamic interac- just being nice?
tion and care berween students and faculty members that will be defi-
Gene: So far, so good then. But where can I strengthen it?
nitely helpful to my adjustment to a new academic discipline.
Kay: Well, what are your own thoughts abour that?
(6) Further reasons for my choice
Gene: As you know, I am Chinese and I focused on my academic career,
@ I strongly believe that the PhD program in Chemical Engineering
past, present, and future. I think other students might include
will be an ideal venue for me to add expertise in the chemical aspects of some story, or say something more personal to make the SOP
fuel cells to my strong background in mechanical engineering. @ I am somehow more alive. Another thing. I say nothing about CO2
sure that my mechanical engineering background will offer a different emissions from cars, and pollution. This is going to be very bad in
my country, China, unless we develop fuel cells for automobiles.
viewpoint because of my specialty in thermal-fluid transport and my
Maybe I missed a chance here.
theoretical approach to fuel cells. @ The PhD program will ultimately
prepare me for a career as an interdisciplinary expert in the field of 3. Gene makes two main points. Should he include a story? And should he
add the part about pollution?
energy conversion and storage systems. (591 words)
Kay: I don't know if you actually need a story, Gene, bur it could be a
Scene, a meeting between Gene (originally from China) and a writing tutor bit more personal somehow. And bringing in the real world
(Kay): importance of this research seems like an excellent idea. ..
Gene: Okay. So what do I cut?
Gene: Hi, Kay. I emailed you my SOP a couple of days ago. Did you get
it, and what do you think?
4. Simplify Paragraph 3? Leave out the professors in Paragraph 5? Revise
Kay: Hi, Gene. Yes,I got it, thanks. Did it take you a long time to do it? Paragraph 1? Your thoughts?

Gene: Oh, forever. I think this is my fourth version. Kay: The first two sentences look rather standard to me. Also, they
would seem pretty obvious to your readers, who will be professors
1. Do you think Gene is exaggerating? Does it look like a fourth draft to in Engineering. That's one place to rethink.
you?
Gene: Fine, thanks. Any other suggestions?
Kay: Well, my main impression is that you come across as very profes-
sional. It seems very very business-like. To me, as an outsider to Kay: Well, you might like to have a look at the section in the new text-
the field, you make a good case for the need to combine the twO book by Swales and Feak on Statements of Purpose or Personal
engineering fields. I like the detail in paragraph four, and in para- Statements, and see what they have to say.
graph five bringing in the names of the professors, and in the mid- S. Is this a good idea?
dle of the last paragraph hinting at what you can bring to
18 NAVIGATING ACADEMIA. GETTING INTO GRADUATE SCHOOL
19
Task Five Z
· and to thereby, through no special effort, gain positions of power
IIves
Either rewrite Gene's opening paragraph to make it more memorable or draft an
have a responsibility to use whatever particular set of interests, talents,
SOP of your own, whichever is more appropriate for your current circumstances.
and capacities they have been endowed with to decrease the obstacles
faced by people in less privileged positions than their own.
Personal Statements (§) Given my own particular set of interests, talents, and capacities, I
Now consider the case where you have to write two statements, one an SOP would like to contribute toward reversing the many inequalities that I
similar to Gene's, the other a more definite personal statement. One of the have perceived in the sphere of education. (J) I am animated by John
programs at the University of Michigan that requires both is the joint PhD
Dewey's (1964) observation that "education is the fundamental method
in English and Education. Here is the PS from a successful applicant to this
of social progress and reform," but at the same time I have found myself
program. As you read it, think about the ways Carl's statement is different
from Gene's. increasingly concerned by many educational trends at work in the
United States right now. ® In my view, the schooling system in this
Task Six _
country is failing to equip the majority of students with the critical con-
Read the Personal Statement, and answer the questions that follow. We have fidence and linguistic and rhetorical control-the critical language
underlined some less common words and phrases, which we discuss in
awareness-needed to develop means of what Chomsky has called
Question 1.
"intellectual self-defense" (1999). ® The majority of students are not
Carl Landrum
receiving the language arts training necessary to engage in the type of
critical discourse analysis needed for understanding how their societies
Joint PhD Program in English and Education
operate, for identifYing patterns of social injustice and methods of coer-
..
Q) My life, compared to the overwhelming majority of people's lives 9m! employed by institutions of power. @ Nor are students learning the
throughout the world, has been one of immense comfort and privilege. linguistic and rhetorical skills necessary for taking action, for engaging
(2) Growing up white and male in middle class America has afforded me meaningfully in social discourses themselves. @ The spaces where I
opportunities largely unavailable to the great majority of the world's believe I can contribute toward alleviating these difficult problems are at
population. Q) With a respectable (but not unexpected or extraordinary) the imerstices between linguistics, English, and education. @ On a very
amount of work, I was easily able to graduate from two world-renowned general level, it is in the helping of real students where I have found the
universities and then obtain a teaching position at one of the top univer- drive to work toward a PhD, for I am convinced that research in the
sities in South Korea. ® In recent years, largely through my living and fields of English and Education, however theoretical or technical it may
teaching outside the United States, I have corne to realize that privileges be, can and should be relevant to our practical tasks as teachers.
such as my own should not be overlooked or taken for granted. (5) In my
view, people who have had the luxury to encounter few obstacles in their
NAVIGATING ACADEMIA
20
1. We have underlined five words or phrases that may present difficulty. Finding Your Voice in the
Which of the following offers the correct explanation of their meaning?
a. they have been endowed with: i. they have acquired; ii. they have
Academic Community
inherited
b. animated: i. influenced; ii. remain enthusiastic about
c. methods of coercion: i. methods of imprisonment; ii. methods of
The next four sub-sections assume that you are now attending graduate school.
strong control This section deals with some of the essential email interactions that maintain
d. alleviating: i. reducing; ii. solving interpersonalcontacts within academic settings. (The importance of these types
e. interstices: i. gaps; ii. places where they meet and connect of emails is evidenced in the questionnaire findings from Task One.)

2. Would you characterize this text as:

a. a philosophy of life Communicating with Advisors
b. a plan for the future and Committee Members
c. a personal journey As an individual academic writer, you will often need to keep others "in the
3. In his statement, Carl stresses his social responsibility, primarily by: loop" with regard to the progress of your manuscripts (or lack of itl),
a. stressing his life of privilege Instructors (and later editors) may need to know where you stand with
b. focusing on his international experience regard to upcoming deadlines. Advisors, supervisors, and committee mem-
bers of master's theses or PhD dissertations (we use the U.S. terminology)
c. arguing that with privilege comes responsibility
also need to know about your progress, especially in these days of increasing ••
4. Carl supports his educational commitment, primarily by pressuresin many countries for the timely completion of higher degrees.
a. attacking the educational establishment
Task Seven _
b. showing how theoretical work needs to be made relevant to teach-
ing practice With this in mind, here is a draft email message that a graduate student, Akiko,
c. arguing how underprepared today's undergraduates are for. the real plans to send to her advisor, Caroline Kelly. The email relates to the first version
of the second chapter of her dissertation. The student shows the draft of this
world
email message to the three other members of her study group for comments
5. In your view, as an applicant Carl comes across as:
because she is worried that she may not be making a good impression. Their
a. a serious academic intellectual comments follow. Whom do you agree with and why?

b. a person who just wants to settle back in the U.S.

Dear Professor Kelly,
c. a socially committed educationalist
I have finally gotten around to writing something. I will put a hard
So, overall, remember that the main difference between the SOP and the pS COpyin your mailbox sometime next week. Please pick it up and let me
is that the former tends to focus on what the applicant has done and then plans know What you think. I hope you like it ©.
to do, while the latter focuses on personal thoughts, feelings, and reflections.
Akiko

21
NAVIGATING ACADEMIA NG YOUR VOICE IN THE ACADEMIC COMMUNITY 23
FIND I
22
rding any concerns or suggestions you might have, please let me
Oral Comments: rega
know.
"This is short and sweet, Akiko. Although it is a bit vague, I
Leila:
Thanks!
think it will work."
Laura
"I have problems with this, Akiko. Why stress your slowness in
Simon: P.S. In Chapter 4, I decided to go back to the traditional terminology;
the first sentence, and why not specify what exactly you have
written? 'Next week' is too vague; how does Professor Kelly I hope that is okay. Also, not sure about Chapter 6-too much data and
know when to look for it? And why don't you say something of not enough interpretation or explanation?
what you like and what you don't like about your text, so your
advisor is given some direction as to what to focus on? Further, Some observations on Laura's message:
this isn't the time for emoticons! And don't you know your advi-
• Note how Laura "hints" at what Frank might focus on (the role of gen-
sor well enough to address her by first name? Pleaseget rid of
der, her use of terminology in Chapter 4, and the possible lack of inter-
this draft, and start again." pretation in Chapter 6). Frank is being guided here, but indirectly.
As a fellow Japanese, I can see why you wrote such a modest • The style of the message is friendly and informal, but also polite. The
Isao:
and self-effacing draft, but I am afraid you are not going to professors are referred to by their first names, and there are several con-
make a very good impression on your advisor. I'm afraid that tractions. As for politeness, notice the way that Laura makes a sugges-
Simon is mostly right. tion in the third paragraph.
• There is enough detail here, but not too much; for example, she refers
Now consider how you might revise Akiko's email for her. Before actually to her discussion with her co-chairs but only focuses on changes that
writing it, however, consider this email messagefrom a student in Nursing close may be made. ..
to finishing her dissertation. She is writing to Frank, the outside member of her
Now offer Akiko an improved draft of her email to her advisor.
committee; Dick and Deb are the co-chairs.

April 12 Communicating with Co-Authors

In the cases of Akiko and Laura, who are working on their dissertations, we
Hi Frank
Dick and Deb are reviewing the entire manuscript this week. I am have academic writers primarily responsible for their individual manuscripts.
Alternatively,there may be several authors of a manuscript, and often not all of
attaching here all seven draft chapters.
them will necessarilybe located in the same place. It is not surprising then that
I am certain after talking with Deb & Dick that I will need to do
SUchgroup writing projects, whether writing for a group term paper or a
some revising. When we talked, they were satisfied that I understood the group master's project, or co-authoring a research paper for publication, can
points that should be included (particularly regarding the role of gender SOmetimesgive rise to confusion and even lead to conflict. In fact, one of our
in nursing practice), but I don't think that I've totally captured this on Cholleagues,
t .
Elizabeth Axelson, in her own 2003 dissertation showed how easily
. ISCouldhappen with a multinational group writing a joint master's project
the printed page. In enVironmental studies. This is another situation then where it can be
I will be at the research group meeting at 4 on Monday April 20. 1
will be seeing you then, but if you would like to meet before or after
24 NAVIGATING ACADEMIA
fIND rNG YOUR VOICE IN THE ACADEMIC COMMUNITY
25
important to keep everybody "in the loop." Although such networking can be .•.••
sk Eight ---- _
time consuming, it is usually worth the effort in the long run.
Here is a situation that is not unusual. John and Chris are drafting NoW supposeyou are Vera, who has worked with John and Chris on a part-time
. for more than a year and who now has her PhD and who also works as a
another new small textbook for this series. They are meeting about the pro], baSIS . d G W . h '1 h . J h
leet urer in RUSSianan erman. rite er erna. on t e same tOPICto 0 n
ect. At the meeting, they are joined again by Vera, their regular research swales. It should, of course, be somewhere between the other two in terms of
assistant, and Emma, an English major just starting an internship on the tyle and politeness.
project. John has sent an attachment containing the material he has been s As the previous activity implies, the smooth management of group writing
working on. Unfortunately, and by mistake, he circulated an earlier draft for tasks can be a complex matter, and often unexpected difficulties can arise (as
comments. (This is not the first time he has done this.) He receives two with John sending the wrong attachment). And it is not yet clear whether new
technologies such as Google Docs or other file-sharing programs can regularly
email messages, one from his long-standing co-author and colleague and one solve the problems that arise.
from Emma.

Message 1 Obviously, it is better to establish certain "ground rules" somewhere

Hi, John, toward the beginning of joint projects. The following task is designed to
help you focus on some possible ground rules.
I have just wasted a couple of hours writing comments on your draft
section on describing procedures in Methods sections, only to discover Task Nine _
that the text I have been working on is NOT the latest version. Can you
Hereare a number of suggestions of various kinds for managing group writing
please make sure to put the date of the draft at the top every time you tasks.Evaluatethem in terms of their importance, and then undertake the writ-
modify it? Otherwise, everything gets confused. Thanks. ing task. (Not all of them will necessarilybe "very important. ")

Chris V = very important ••

5 = somewhat important

Message 2
N =
not really important

Professor Swales, - 1. During the work on the project, establish who will be busiest with
I have been looking at your draft attachment, and I am just begin- other commitments and who will be least busy.

ning to wonder whether I am looking at your latest version. For one

- 2. Everybody should agree to date all the drafts at the top, so that
thing, I seem to remember from last week's meeting that you planned to members don't respond to out-of-date texts.
change Task Six. Before I start working on this, would it be possible for
--- 3. The order of authors on the final manuscript should be decided at
you to check that I have the correct version? By the way, I am very the beginning.

excited to be working on this project. Thanks for choosing me!

--- 4. Agree early on formatting issues,such as choice of font and font
Emma size.

As you can see, these two emails on the same topic are very different ill
--- 5. Work out a clear and realistic timetable for completing the project
style. And this is largely determined by the relationship between the sender on time.
and the receiver. What differences do you notice?
26 NAVIGATING ACADEMIA.
fiN DING YOUR VOICE IN THE ACADEMIC COMMUNITY
27
6. Make contingency plans in case something goes wrong (e.g., ill_ Dear Dr. Rogers,
ness in a group member's immediate family).
I am a research assistant for Dr. Walter Lee, whose work you may be
7. Try to decide who might be best at what (e.g., literature reView,
familiar with. We have recently read with considerable interest your
data collection, statistics, stylistic elegance, etc.).
recent article in Management Science on politeness strategies in call cen-
8. Do not penalize non-native speakers by restricting them to tasks rers. We note that you cite an unpublished working paper on the same
that do not require writing or participation in an oral presentation
(e.g., doing the statistical analysis, making tables and charts).
topic. We were wondering whether it be possible for you to send us an
electronic version of this paper? We believe it will help us in our own
For 9 and 10, write two recommendations of your own, and evaluate them.
research.
9. _ With best wishes

10. _ Emily Chang (research assistant)

As you can see, this request message is both polite and professional. Also
Now take one of the suggestions you ranked as very important, and write note that Emily (correctly) gives her full name at the end of the message. It
a suitable message to your (imaginary) co-authors, indicating how the sug- is particularly important to do this if your ernail name is different from your
gestion could best be implemented. real name or your real name isn't part of your ernail address (such as happy-
gal@or compoman@). Adding your position can be useful too.
Despite having sent a polite and professional email message, Emily has
Requests and Reminders receivedno response after two weeks.
Earlier you saw a message from Chris to John asking him to make sure he ..
dates his manuscript drafts. Since they know each other well, this kind of
Task Ten _

request is straightforward. However, if your message is a first-time, unex-

Which of these next steps do you prefer-and why?
pected communication addressed to somebody you don't know-someone
even in another country-the situation can become more delicate. And here 1. Resendthe original message again.

we might indeed reflect on the part of the Introductory Section that dealt 2. Send this message as a test.
with the placement of the request; "out of the blue" requests may need some
Dr. Rogers, did you get my email of June 12 regarding a request for
prior explanation before making the actual request.
one of your papers? I am beginning to wonder whether it got
Consider this situation: You are a research assistant for Dr. Walter Lee in
trapped in your spam box, or perhaps you have been out of email
the Centre for Management Studies at one of the Hong Kong universities. contact?
At Dr. Lee's instruction, you send this email message:
3. Explain to Professor Lee that you have had no reply, and suggest that it
might work better if he sent a message personally.
4. Resendthe message,adding the following:

In the meantime, I am attaching a working paper on a similar topic

that might be of interest to you.
NAVIGATING ACADEMIA. fINDING YOUR VOICE IN THE ACADEMIC COMMUNITY 29
28

Language Focus: The "Attitudinal" or Polite Past Bowever, the phrases that can take the attitudinal past are very
There is a small set of words and phrases that can occur in or limited.
with a past tense, but with present meaning. Consider this email:
curious I was just curious about your views on
Hi Professor Jones. 1 just wanted to let you know that I this.
got the fellowship Iapplied for.Thanks for all your wanted The two other things Ijust wanted to
help. mention are firstly ...
The writer here has chosen the attitudinal past in order to send a wondering Iwas just wondering if you have had a
polite, if informed. communication to the professor. Compare this chance to look at the draft.
with the real past: thinking Iwas thinking we might finish early
today.
Hi Professor Jones. 1really wanted to see the movie
hoping Iwas hoping we might meet later this
you recommended, but by the time Ifound a free
week.
evening it was no longer being shown in town.
As these examples show, the attitudinal past seems to be
Or this example:
:"restrictedto polite inquiries and questions as well as to expres-
sions of wishes, thoughts, and hopes. Also notice that the first
Attitudinal (hope still alive):
three of the examples are hedged with just, which makes them
Professor Jones, Iwas hoping that we could meet even more polite and tentative. Just is common with these
sometime next week. phrases and is typically pronounced as [J~sJ.
Finally, notice that in her email message Emily Chang uses the ..
attitudinal past when she very politely writes:
Real (hope denied):
We were wondering whether it would be possible ...
Professor Jones, I was hoping to meet you in office
hours next week, but now I have to leave town Now would be a good time to check your own messages (as well
because of illness in my family. as some incoming ones) to look for instances of the attitudinal
past. (And also check the student's language in the cartoon on
In many cases, the attitudinal past not only expresses politeness,
Page 1.)
but also deference and distance. For example, you hear that
your boss urgently wants to see you on some matter. Rather than
popping your head around her door and saying, "You wanna
see me?" you might more nervously offer: "Did you want to see
me?"
30 NAVIGATING ACADEMIJ\.

-
fIN DING YOUR VOICE IN THE ACADEMIC COMMUNITY
31
Task Eleven •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Message 2
You (and your partner) are assistants to Professor Gardener. He forwards you Dear Professor,
these five email request messages on pages 30-33, accompanied by this one
I am currently working on a master's thesis on the processes of metal-
from him.
Jic-ceramic fusion, and I have recently read a recent and highly relevant
Guys, these requests just in. They never seem to stop. What should be paper by your group in Materials Science Digest (2010, Vol. 45, pp.
our priorities here? Could you sort them out in rank order, with either 345-357). I was wondering if there are similar papers on this topic that
the most urgent, or those easiest to comply with, at the top (i.e., l)? Then you could refer me to or let me have copies of? (The library here isn't
at the weekly lab meeting we can decide what to do-or not to do! very good.)

Thanks for doing this for me. My advisor here is Ana Augusto, who sends her regards. She met you
at the Caracas conference in 2008.
Read the messages, and complete the chart on page 33. Then sort the requests
Rosinda de Souza
as per Professor Gardener's instructions. What are your reasons for your
choices? What do you think the decisions will be at next week's lab meeting? Rua Campo Verde, 174-apto. 12
(To save space, we have sometimes left out email addresses, subject lines, Bela Colina-MG
mailing addresses, etc., in the messages.) CEP 12340-187
Brasil
Message 1
From: martino@unimolfit Message 3
To: [email protected] Dear Professor Gardener, ..
Subject: Request
First let me introduce myself I have recently returned to Malaysia, hav-

Dear Sir, ing completed a PhD at Desert University with Dr. William D. Jones as

I am a researcher at a small local university here near Palermo, and advisor, who has recently retired. On return, I was asked to start a small

am carrying out research in your area of materials science. I would like research group on materials science in our research institute. On Dr. Jones's

to visit your department as an observer researcher for a short time (about Suggestion, I am asking whether you might be willing to act as an informal

three months) in order to get ideas about my thesis. and unofficial advisor to my group. I know you are a very busy and impor-

As I am a native speaker of Italian, I would be delighted to help your tant man, but if you happened to be in this part of the world (we know

students learn Italian in your modern languages department, or I could You sometimes go to Australia), my colleagues and I would greatly appreci-

collaborate in any other way that you can suggest. ate a visit of a few days or so. Unfortunately, we have no funds for interna-

If you accept, I could come during the next academic term. Please Jet tional travel, but we can cover regional travel and all local expenses.
Dr. Ali Osman
me know your answer as soon as possible since I need to apply for a
travel grant. Looking forward to hearing from you. Materials Science Research Group

Yours faithfully, Sarawak Science Research Institute

NG YOUR VOICE IN THE ACADEMIC COMMUNITY 33
32
NAVIGATING ACADEMIA. fIND I
hic references that would aid me in my research. I thank you very
Message 4 gra P
much in advance and only hope that it won't require too much of an
Dear Professor Gardener,
effort for you to help me. Looking forward to hearing from you soon!
This is a preliminary inquiry as to whether you might be in principle
Yours sincerely,
willing to act as external examiner for a PhD thesis from here on metalli-,
Annika Graf
ceramic fusion. The thesis is expected to be completed next month, and
the defense will need to take place within twO months of the submission

date. We would expect a two- to three-page evaluation. There is no need -

AcademiC
Message 1 Message 2 Message 3 Message 4 Message 5

for you to be present in Hong Kong for the defense itself. The university
status of
is able to pay a small fee for this important service. If you would like any requester
further information, please do not hesitate to ask.
If you would be able to accept (and I can imagine how busy you must Type of help
requested
be), I will forward your name to the central administration, which will

then take up the administrative details.

With best wishes, Place in text

where main
Henry Liu
request
Head, Department of Materials Science occurs

Shatin University
(beginning, ..
middle, or
Hong Kong end?)
Phrasesyou
Message 5 like

Dear Professor Gardener,

I am writing to you on the recommendation of Professor Grossman

here in Vienna, where I am his research assistant and working part-time

-
Phrasesyou
dislike
on my dissertation, which has the provisional tide "Ceramic-Metallic

Fusion Properties at Extremely High Temperatures." I understand from

r.::--
Professor Grossman that you have done a lot of work in this area. Since Rank order

I would certainly like to base my work on the latest results and methods,
I really need your help! I am especially interested in your publications,
latest experiments and their results. I would also be grateful if you have
any suggestions about my dissertation topic and for any further biblio-
34 NAVIGATING ACADEMIA.
fIN DING YOUR VOICE IN THE ACADEMIC COMMUNITY
35
In our considerable experience with using this task in classes and work_
shops, most people choose Message 4 as being the most urgent; Professor B. To + VERB+ingfollowing some complex prepositions:
Liu really needs to know whether Professor Gardener can act as examiner. In addition to working on his dissertation, he is also teach-
Most people also give the lowest priority to Message 5, principally because it ing a class.
asks for too much.
Prior to entering the PhD program, she worked in industry.
With a view to increasing enrollment, the department has
Task "I\nrelve a developed an interactive website.
Offer Annika Graf a revised version of her request message.
C. To + VERB+ingfollowing certain adjectives:
She is close to completing her latest project.
You may have noticed that two of the requests use the common This is crucial to understanding the nature of the problem.
closing phrase: looking forward to hearing from you. This is per-
The director may be open to rescheduling the meeting.
haps the classic instance of this verb pattern. Other phrases are
He is not resistant to being relocated.
useful for other kinds of writing, such as recommendations,
reports, and research papers.
D. To + VERB+ing following certain nouns:
For many non-native speakers of English this pattern is
counterintuitive since they have been typically taught in schools There was no alternative to repeating the experiment.
that verbs can be followed by either another infinitive (She hopes She has several objections to being labeled a "radical
to improve) or a participial form (She hates revising). To + feminist."
VERB+ing seems to break these well-known rules. This structure, His approach to understanding society is more
however, can occur after a number of grammatical items. psychological than sociological, ..
A. To + VERB+ing following certain verbs; here are some of There was considerable resistance to implementing the
the more common ones: curricular reform.

I am looking forward to receiving further information.

He is committed to teaching all kinds of students.
Her experience is not limited to teaching in the United States.
She is used to running complex statistical tests.
She objected to having to redo the assignment.
They admitted to failing to follow the safety procedures.
NAVIGATING ACADEMIA. ING YOUR VOICE IN THE ACADEMIC COMMUNITY 37
36 fIN P

Task Thirteen • ~t'iting Apologies

I. Complete these sentences with an appropriate VERB+ing. Written apologies these days are much more likely to be made by email rather
than in the form of a letter. Apologies can, of course, vary greatly in formality
1. I am looking forward to your presentation at next month's
and length depending on (a) the relationship between the correspondents and
conference.
(b) the topic of the apology. For space reasons, we will focus only on apologies
2. The director is not accustomed to his decisions questioned. for delay in responding-a common situation for many of us.

3. The student admitted to the term paper from the Internet.

Task Fourteen ---------------
4. The tax reform is being introduced with a view toward ----- Hereare six email messagesto John. Mark them as FF(very formal), F (formal),
benefits for the poor. I (informal), or II (very informal). Also, can you guess the relationship of the
senderto the receiver (in this case, John)? Work in pairs if possible.
5. There can be drawbacks to on probabilistic measures.
1. Hi John. Excusethe long silence. Been so busy running around that
6. She is averse to her dissertation abstract for a sixth time. I'm hardly ever in my office. Anyway, I'm attaching what I think you
want. Lemme know if it isn't okay. Best.

II. Look through some of your emails and other texts to check on your use of 2. I apologize for being slow to respond to your request for informa-
this hard-to-Iearn syntactic pattern. For example, check on your use of the word tion. This was reviewed by the board at its last meeting. However,
alternative to see whether you write: the discussion was highly complex and it was, after the meeting,
difficult to discern the actual instructions for how to respond to
One alternative to repeat the study is.... you. Further conversations with the chair now allow me to say ... ..
Or the correct: _ 3. Dear John. Forgive the delay, caused in the first instance by a faulty
fax machine, from which it was difficult to extract your message.
One alternative to repeating the study is....
Then, we had trouble getting the machine to work properly. How-
ever, the delay does not signify a lack of interest in your sugges-
tion. Warm regards.

- 4. John, I am sorry to have taken so long to get back to you on this.

With my new job I've been literally run off my feet. Might I suggest
we get together for lunch one day? Perhaps if you could suggest
two or three days that work for you before the end of the month,
then Keith and I can select one and firm up arrangements.
NAVIGATING ACADEMIA
38
5. Professor Swales, we apologize for being slow to getting you pay_
ment for your recent work for us as an external examiner. This was
Establishing Yourself in
caused by an oversight in the accounting office, which has now Graduate School
been rectified. Sincerely.

6. Groveling apologies for being so slow. Recently, I have been run-

ning into a whole heap of technical problems, including a dreadful
computer crash. Anyway, finally here is what you wanted. This section addresses four supporting written genres-that is, types of text
that are not in public view (unlike, say, published book reviews). The first
All six apologies give some kind of explanation for the delay. three are all types of applications of various kinds and, thus, typically play an
important part in junior scholars' lives as they try to find the support they
Are the explanations convincing to you? need in order to fulfill their academic and research aspirations. The fourth
Would you expect something more? and final one is very different since it deals with letters of recommendation.
Initially, it might be thought that graduate students would not be writing
these types of letters, but more likely to be requesting that they be written
Language Focus: Run as a Phrasal Verb
on their behalf. However, in our experience, graduate students are often
In Task Fourteen, three of the apologies used run as a phrasal asked to write letters for undergraduates they have taught or to write letters
verb, as in run around, run all (my feet), and run into. You may about their instructors who are coming up for tenure, or promotion.
have noticed that run as a phrasal verb occurs in the more
informal messages. Phrasal run is widely used in informal
speech and writing. Here are five examples of the phrasal Small Grant Applications
verbs featuring run that you may find useful: ..
Internal departmental and research group applications for small amounts of
a. I ran across Billthe other day-I haven't seen him for funding are usually handled quickly and informally without a great deal of
agesl He reminded me that lowed you a response. paper work. So far, so good then. However, more competitive ones may
b. Apologies for missing the meeting. Stupidly, 1ran out require some written explanation and justification.
of gas on the highway.
c. The battery in my laptop is really run down. I had 'l'ask Fifteen
better sign off. Sorry. At some point you may want or need to apply for a small grant-perhaps to
d. Hi! Alas, a family issue has come up, and 1 am not make a researchtrip of some kind, or for some equipment, or to attend a con-
going to make the meeting tomorrow when we are ference.Often these grants are competitive, and so you need to make the best
supposed to run through the results so far. caseyou can for getting the money.

e. I don't want to run away from my responsibilities .You (and your partner, if you have one) are members of the selection com-
mittee for a university-wide competition for summer research grants, with a
here, but one of my children is ill and I won't be able
maXimumlevel of support of $2,000. The extracts from two applications from
to complete my part of the project by Friday. Apolo-
~erydifferent fields follow. Both fall within the budget limit. Read the applica-
gies to you all. I hope to catch up next week.
~ons,and decide which of the arguments from your fellow committee members
ou agree with.

39
40 NAVIGATING ACADEMIA.
EsTABLISHlNG YOURSELF IN GRADUATE SCHOOL 41

A. This first is from the Department of Modern Languages. 1. purchase the materials for making sustainable composite panels for
Brief Project Description testing;

My dissertation work focuses in part on an important but little- 2. Employ a technician to modify the current equipment for testing this
type of panel.
known thirteenth century Spanish encyclopedia called Lucidario. There

is a low-quality edition of this work published in 1968 and seven medi- Although my advisor and I are assured of funds to continue this
aeval manuscripts, which can be found in Madrid and Salamanca. I am research starting in the coming fall, this summer support is needed so
currently working with this unsatisfactory 1968 edition, and I believe that momentum can be maintained and I can obtain candidacy before
that reading the original manuscripts will greatly deepen our under- the next academic year. Thank you for your consideration. A detailed
standing of this work. This is because the manuscripts vary in their budget estimate is attached.
treatment of certain central issues, such as their use of Aristotle and the Regards,
inclusion and role of fictional characters. Studying these original sources Esmail Najdi
will throw new light on the significance of the Lucidario, particularly

with regard to its relationship to intellectual trends of the late thirteenth Arguments in committee

century.
Mark the points with which you agree with an A (agree) and those with
I am therefore requesting funds for a two-month research trip to which you disagree with a D (disagree).
Spain to study the seven manuscripts. A detailed budget estimate is
Ana's Application
given on the following page.
Ana Martinez (doctoral pre-candidate)
..
-- 1. Ana doesn't show any effort to obtain alternative funds. Also,
what does focuses in part mean? I don't know, as a result,
B. The second comes from another pre-candidate, this time from the whether this trip to Spain is crucial for her dissertation or not.
School of Architecture. I'm inclined to turn this one down.

Brief Project Description - 2. We all know that the Modern Languages Department never
I would like to request summer support for my ongoing research has any real discretionary money, and Ana's project is so spe-
project on new types of load-bearing composite panels for use in wall cialized that it is unlikely that anybody else in the U would
fund it. I also read the focuses in part phrase differently; to me
systems. This research is valuable since it concerns innovative sustainable
IIIIII1 it suggests that she will be offering the field more than a nar-
building materials, which may well reduce energy and material building
row archive-based textual study. I vote to give her the money.
costs in the building industry. Since this project involves laboratory test-
- 3. Look guys, I may be an engineer and all that, but I don't see
ing and computer simulation, it is necessary to construct specimen test-
much value in this kind of historical scholarship. Surely, we
ing materials. Therefore my request consists of funds to:
should be supporting projects that are more relevant to life in
our century, not the thirteenth. For me, it's "no."
NAVIGATING ACADEMIA ESTABLISHING YOURSELF IN GRADUATE SCHOOL 43
42
4. We are a major research university with a serious commitment Letters for Teaching/Research Assistant/
to scholarship in many forms. Ana's project looks outward to student Assistant Positions
Spain at a very interesting time in its history, because it is
As with applications the allocation of teaching assistant (TA) positrons
through Islamic Spain that Aristotle was rediscovered in
within a department is usually undertaken seriously but fairly informally,
Europe. Unlike my engineering colleague, I think it is Well
while short-term, part-time research assistants (RA) positions are usually
worth considering.
assigned by the senior researcher in charge. However, if it is necessary to
look outside, then a request for applications will probably need to be posted.
Esmail's Application
Our own home base, the English Language Institute at the University of
1. It looks as though these guys in Architecture messed up their Michigan, does not have its own graduate students, so we need to look else-
funding support, and are asking us to get them out of a hole. where. Imagine this scenario: We are looking for a doctoral student to work
Sincesustainability is such a buzzword these days, they should part-time as a graduate student research assistant (GSRA) for two months to
have been able to do better. I don't think we should be provid- help with a project examining the strengths and weaknesses of international
ing such bridge funds when we have so many other strong students as dissertation writers. We post an email message asking for a short
applications to consider. expression of interest to be accompanied by a CV (see pages 85-91).
We get a number of responses.
2. It seems to me, on the contrary, that one of the prime pur-
poses of the summer researchgrants system is preciselyto pro- Task Sixteen _
vide the kind of funds that Esmail is requesting. Our sums are
small and in this case, they will go far. I recommend that we Rankthese four email responses,with 1 being the best. First, read the discus-
sion points on page 45. Which two applicants would you interview, and why?
approve this funding. ..
Applicant A
3. The project description is a little vague, but if you look at the
detailed budget, it becomes much clearer what kinds of mate- I would like to apply for the GSRA position offered by ELI for next

rial are needed and in what quantities. Some of these are really spring term-"Examining the strengths and weaknesses of international
experimental and cannot be easily fabricated on-site. Given students as dissertation writers." I am a senior graduate student in
this, and the potential industrial applications of this research,I
physics and currently preparing for writing my PhO thesis. I am apply-
vote for "yes."
ing for this position because I need financial assistance in completing my
4. As an engineer, I am concerned that the first priority should be PhD dissertation. Also, I think the research project will help my disserta-
that the testing equipment works. There is no point in pur-
tion writing by observing other people's weaknesses. As an international
chasing relatively expensive materials until we are assured that
Student, I am also having a problem in writing. Thus, I can better
the testing and simulation programs are running smoothly.
understand than native speakers what are the hidden weak points of
Although I was initially impressed with this project, noW I have
concerns about its viability. So, reluctantly, it's a "no" from me. International students' writing. As a physics student, I am quite familiar
With the statistical analysis of data; so hopefully I can provide new
Any other considerations you would like to enter into the discussion of these
two candidates? Any advice for strengthening the Brief Project Descriptions inSights into the data. I am afraid you may think that language students

(within the 150 word limit)?

44 NAVIGATING ACADEMIA. ESTABLISHING YOURSELF IN GRADUATE SCHOOL
45
are more suitable for this job; however, if you are going to research writ-
experiments can be conducted, among them, analyzing questionnaire
ing in science, I am sure I can be helpful. My CV is attached. I am look_
results, interviewing with students and faculty, and tabulating the inter-
ing forward to your reply.
view data. For the last four years, I have been an international graduate
Applicant B student in the Department of Electrical Engineering and Computer Sci-
Regarding the duties of this GSRA position, an outstanding knowl- ence. My excellent communication skills have enabled me to reach can-
edge of statistical computer packages and good English communication didacy, my training has given me strong analytic skills; above all as an
skills are necessary. I used to be a computer laboratory assistant and am Asian, my cultural background will reflect the distinct problems that
also a teaching assistant for experiment design and statistics computer most international students will encounter in their dissertation writing.
programs. I do therefore believe my experience can meet the needs of Therefore, I am the right candidate for this GSRA position. I attach my
this position. My curriculum vitae is attached as an appendix. If you CVas requested.
have further questions, please do not hesitate to contact me. Thank you!
Discussion Points
Applicant C
I am writing to express my interest in the GSRA position for the Imagine you are the faculty member deciding who to hire. Consider:

Spring term in your department. I am currently completing my disserta-

1. Do you have any concernsabout any of the applicants' written English?
tion under the direction of Dr. __ and Dr. . I am expecting to
fulfill all the PhD requirements by the end of this year. Enclosed please 2. How important do you think statistical skills will be?

find my current vita that expounds upon my academic experiences and

particular areas of research interest. Through years of training, I have
3. Should you be looking for signs of cross-cultural sensitivity? ..
developed several skills in statistical and quantitative analyses, especially 4. Should you pay any attention to apparent student need, or focus only
on who would be best for the ELI?
in the areas of sampling and questionnaire analysis. With this knowledge
and experience I have, I am confident that I can make a significant con-
5. If Applicant B asks you for suggestions about how to improve the
tribution to your project. I would be glad to schedule a meeting with posted message, what advice would you give?
you at your convenience. Thank you for your consideration. I look for-
ward to hearing from you.

Applicant D
Dissertation writing, for most graduate students, is an important parr
of their study. But for international students, besides specific rules, strUC-
tures, and formats, cultural differences can bring up more difficulties. To
discover the strengths and weaknesses of dissertation writers, several
46 NAVIGATING ACADEML\ ESTABLISHING YOURSELF IN GRADUATE SCHOOL 47
Fellowship Applications 13sk Seventeen ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Today, a wide range of scholarships, fellowships, and grants are available for our acquaintance from Korea, Ji-Young Kim, is looking for financial support to
junior scholars and researchers in the United States. Often the application Y~nduct her field research back home. She has written three versions of her
Ctatementof purpose for the Miller Fellowship so far, and each time she has
instructions are quite specific and thus helpful with regard to what should
Seceivedfeedback via email from her advisor. She is now a bit confused and
and should not be included in the application. It therefore pays to carefully
~eedsyour advice as to which one to submit and then whether the best of the
read the guidelines given. For example, if the instructions state that applica_ set needs further work. Read through her drafts (and commentaries) and then
tion letters should be no longer than two double-spaced pages, do not write decide which would likely be the most successful. What are the strong and
half a page or three single-spaced pages. Look at this fellowship announ--, weak points of each? Then send an email to Ji-Young giving your considered
ment, and then do Task Seventeen. opinion. In this case, we have added sentence numbers because we have
included some Language Notes at the end of the three versions.
Applications are invited for Miller Fellowships 201X-201X
Version A
Miller Fellowships are available each year to support Asian female
CD My name is ]i-Young Kim and I am a beginning second-year
graduate students from Turkey to Japan to facilitate field research in
female master's student of Korean nationality in the School of Social
Asia. The scholarships award up to a full six months' support including
Work. ~ As you can see from my transcript, my grades for my first
travel, living expenses, health insurance, and related research expenses.
year's coursework are very encouraging. Q) This year I really need a
We expect to offer four scholarships for the coming year.
Miller Fellowship so that I can go back to Korea to collect data for my
Applicants should provide a recent Cv, the names of two referees,
thesis. ®My main area of interest is in gerontology, particularly in long
transcripts, and proof of Asian nationality (such as a photocopy of a
term care provisions for elderly widows. <J) I could base my thesis on
valid passport). Applications should also be accompanied by a statement
United States data and experiences, but both my advisor and I think it ..
of purpose of no more than 250 words explaining how a Miller Fellow-
would be more useful for me to collect Korean data, especially since this
ship would contribute to the applicant's further academic development.
issue has been little addressed by Korean social work researchers. ® My
In this statement applicants must also clearly indicate how their work
own family experience demonstrates how real the problem is. (J) I have
will further the position of Asian women in their country upon their
two elderly aunts (both now in their 80s and widowed) who live in rural
return home. Applications are due in the Miller Scholarship Offices by
areas quite a long way from their relatives and who are virtual "shut-ins."
November 15. Awards will be announced on December 20.
® They are visited by an untrained church volunteer only once a week,
and by their families only once or twice a year. ® As demonstrated by
my aunts, this is a serious problem, and when I return to Korea I would
like to be able to do more for them and for other elderly women in simi-
lar situations. @ This is why a Miller Fellowship is very important for
my future.
NAVIGATING ACADEMIA. ESTABLISHING YOURSELF IN GRADUATE SCHOOL 49
48
should put the action research issue first, rather than presenting your
Commentary
personal details? One more go perhaps?
Not bad, Ji-Young. I think you explain your need for the fellowship quite
well-indeed you might overdo it a bit. However; the main problem is
Version C
that the selection committee will likely conclude that you haven't
thought through what data you will need and how you are going to col- illRising life expectancies, especially for women, are creating increas-
lect it. Pleasetry again, and try to write a bit more formally Susan ing social problems in many parts of the world. ~ The latest available

Korean government census data show that 53 percent of Korean women

Version B in their 80s are either widowed or have never been married; of these

illAs can be seen from my supporting documentation, I am begin- nearly 30 percent are living alone and are rarely visited by their family

ning my second year in the master's program in social work. ~ I plan to members. Q) Current Korean social policy toward the elderly is at least

complete my degree in July 201X after I have written and defended my partly premised on the traditional Asian concept of filial piety, i.e., that

master's thesis. Q) My primary professional interest is in the interface younger family members will take care of their elderly relatives, but as

between social work and gerontology, more specifically in the care of eld- the above statistics show, this tradition is not as strong as it once was.

erly women whose husbands have died and who are not cared for by ® My advisor, Prof. Susan Grant, agrees that an appropriate topic for

their family members. ® Recent demographic data show that this at-risk my upcoming thesis would be an onsite investigation of the medical,

group is growing rapidly in many partS of the world, including Korea. financial, and emotional status of elderly widows in my hometown of

G) My advisor, Dr. Susan Grant, has suggested that, since I plan to Kunsan, Korea. G) If this investigation works as planned, Dr. Grant and
return to Korea on completing my degree, it would be advantageous if I I plan to submit a joint article comparing United States and Korean
..
could base my thesis on Korean data. @ Unfortunately, little information approaches to this problem. @ If I am awarded a Miller Fellowship, I

is available in this country, which is why I am applying for a Miller Fel- plan to carry out the case-study phase of the research from January to

lowship. (J) If I am successful, I plan to spend three months in Korea in April as well as work on preliminary analyses of the findings. (J) I would

my hometown of Kunsan. @ There I will interview a stratified sample of then return to the university to write up my thesis and then hopefully

40 elderly widows in order to develop a profile of how well the munici- defend in June.

pality is coping with this growing problem. ® Without a Miller FelloW- Commentary
ship I will not be able to carry out my plan. @ Thank you for your
Oh, ti- Young, these applications are so difficult! What you have written
consideration.
is an excellent rationale for your research. However; I am not sure that

Commentary the latest version will work so well with the selection committee, who
might want more of an overt social commitment. Oh dear; let me think
Well done, Ii- Young. This is much more professional. I like the way yoU
some more about this. Best, Susan.
offer a coherent research plan toward the end of your text. But I don't
think you should suggest that going to Korea is my idea. And maybe yoU
50 NAVIGATING ACADEMIA. ESTABLISHING YOURSELF IN GRADUATE SCHOOL 51
Consult these Language notes if you wish. 6. Version (-Sentence 7. Finally, note the use of I would then return.
This is a conditional and has nothing to do with the past. It is
1. Version A-Sentence 1. There is a natural tendency, especially perhaps
dependent on the if clause at the beginning of S6.
among Asian students, to want to introduce themselves at the begin_
ning by name, as Ji- Young does in this instance. This practice tends to
surprise American readers; it is not necessary, especially in more for-
Task Eighteen - _
mal documents, when the writer's name will appear at the end.

NoW it's your turn. Write an email message to Ji-Young, explaining your choice
2. Version A-Sentence 2; Version B-Sentence 1. Notice that the passive
of your preferred version.
statement in VB, As can be seen from my supporting documentation
does not have a subject, although this is a finite clause. It is easy to
want to put an it in here, but the sentence is, in fact, correctly writ- Letters of Recommendation
ten. For a fuller discussion of this, see Academic Writing for Graduate
At some point in your academic career you will likely be asked to write a let-
Students, pp. 122-124.
ter of recommendation for a student or colleague, such as for undergradu-
3. Version A-Sentence 7; Version (-Sentence 3. In S7 Ji-Young has cor- ates or more junior graduates you have worked with. Moreover, in the
rectly put the colloquial term shut-ins in what are called scare quotes, United States, graduate students may be asked to write letters for assistant
presumably to show that she recognizes that this may not be stan- professors in their department who are being considered for tenure. Letters
dard academic language. Another phrase that might have been of recommendation are one of those genres that often bear the stamp of the
"scare-quoted" is filial piety in V(, because it is a special expression. academic culture in which they were written. For example, American letters
We are only just getting an understanding of how these uses of quo- tend to be very positive and enthusiastic, whereas British ones tend to be
tation marks work, but it is clear that established academic writers more neutral and more guarded. Such differences can, of course, lead to mis- ..
use them quite a lot even when many writing instructional texts
understandings.
advise against their use (c.f. Aull & Barcy, 2010).
Task Nineteen
4. Version A-Sentence 5. Note the clever use of could in I could base my
thesis on. This implies it would be possible, but that it is not optimal. Read this letter of recommendation for an undergraduate student applying to a
master's program in Public Policy and then respond to the eight reaction state-
Compare these similar conversational uses: ments on page 52.
a. I could come in over the weekend, I suppose. (but would rather
not) February 24,2010
b. She could refuse the job offer. (it's possible but not in her best
interests to do so.)
To Whom It May Concern
I am pleased to be writing this letter of recommendation for Kristen
5. Version (-Sentence 6. Notice Ji-Young has chosen the more direct---
Matthews, who was one of my students in fall term 2009. While she was
and more confident-option here:
a. If I am awarded ... , I plan to carry out. ... my student she was very hard-working, punctual, and well mannered in

As opposed to: class. She worked well with others on projects and always turned in solid
b. If I were to be awarded ... , I would plan .... work. Her final project was exceptionally well designed and creative. She
52 NAVIGATING ACADEMIA. ESTABLISHING YOURSELF IN GRADUATE SCHOOL
53
is very honest, mature, and self-motivated. Her outgoing personality
made her a pleasure to have in class.

While assisting Ms. Matthews with her papers during my office

hours, I really got to know her quite well. .& it turns out, she has an Lookat this list of adjectives and adverbs. Could any of them per-
haps carry negative connotations without the addition of sup-
excellent background in public affairs, having spent two summers as an
porting evidence? Place a check mark (v"'') next to the adjectives
intern with the Democratic party. In this role, she was primarily respon_ you think an applicant for an academic position (such as your-
sible for encouraging various minorities to vote in elections. Ms. self)might like to see in a letter of recommendation.

Matthews has also been politically active on campus, being vice-

articulate __ creative __ observant
president in the recent presidential campaign. Ms. Matthews would like
nice __ imaginative __ self-confident
to pursue a career related to public policy, most likely as a staff member
__ dependable __ satisfactory __ eager
in a municipal social services department, or for a similarly oriented

non-profit organization. Given her performance in my class, and her effective __ assertive __ adequate
range of extra-curricular activities, I am quite sure she will succeed as she __ pleasant __ efficient __ cheerful
pursues a professional degree in public policy. __ good __ innovative __ cooperative
Sincerely, __ mature __ steady __ critical
Here are some reactions to this letter. Do you agree or disagree, and why?

7. This is a nice letter about a nice person by a nice person, but it may
As we have seen in the recommendation letter for Ms. Matthews, a letter
..
not help her too much.
that is short on relevant and "winning" details may do very little to help a
2. This is a very nice letter that should work very well. candidate. After all, more often than not, students in general are described as
3. There is no need to write To Whom It May Concern. It doesn't do any OUtstanding, creative, and in the top 20 percent of their class. Thus, in order
good, and may do harm. to distinguish a candidate, it is important to provide examples that demon-
4. Why does the writer consistently refer to the applicant as Ms. Strate how a candidate is exemplary or worthy of recognition. Also bear in
Matthews in the second half of the letter? I would have used her first rnind that a vague letter of recommendation-one that is general and lacks

name. specific examples-may be viewed as a relatively weak recommendation, as

the reader tries to second-guess why the letter lacks detail. (The writer can-
5. The writer doesn't say what course she was teaching. Why not? I am
nOt remember much about the applicant? The writer's experience of the
guessing it had nothing to do with politics.
applicant is limited?)
6. The formal use of Ms. Matthews in the second half suggests that the
Now notice how this section from a letter of recommendation provides
applicant is a serious, mature individual. the d '1
etal necessary to really support the candidate. The letter was part of an
eXte .
7. While assisting Ms. Matthews with her papers gives an impression that
nSlVe file for a graduate student being (successfully) nominated for the
the student has a serious writing problem. Thisneeds rephrasing. ~UtStanding Graduate Student Instructor Award. It was written by a senior
8. The first paragraph has useful detail; the second does not. aCUItymember very experienced in writing (and reading) such letters.
II:' 54 NAVIGATING ACADEMIA ESTABLISHING YOURSELF IN GRADUATE SCHOOL
55
I can more explicitly address Jasmine's teaching abilities by describing 1"a Twenty _
sk
her contributions to our Graduate Student Instructor (GSI) Training
What type of support could be offered to justify the following unsupported
course last term. First, I should point out that Jasmine was chosen as the statements made in various recommendations. Don't just say, Give examples. Be

program's Graduate Student Mentor this year based on a combination of creative, and make up examples for at least two of them.

her breadth of experience with our courses and her highly regarded 1. Desiree has obtained one of the best grade point averages in our pro-
teaching style. In the past the GSI training course met for one hour per gram, and she has done magnificent work in the materials laboratory.

week, but in our meetings before the term, Jasmine suggested that we
2. Throughout her time as an undergraduate, Maria has been active in
instead have four three-hour class meetings in order to facilitate interac- extracurricular activities.

tions and discussions. Throughout, she had an integral role in the course
3. Sergei is a very responsible person.
design and execution, and throughout I was delighted with her creativ-
4. Mitsuyo is an excellent communicator.
ity. For example, Jasmine organized the videotaping of selected discus-
sion sections from Botany courses being taught for use in the seminar. 5. Over the years it has become clear that Antonia is a very motivated stu-
She then developed role-playing office hours or sample homework exer- dent who sets high goals for herself.

cises around appropriate portions of the videotapes. As a specific

These days, especially in the United States, it seems letters of recommen-
instance, in one snippet of videotape from a section of "Introduction to dation say little that is negative. However, occasionally you may think that it
Botany" a bright undergraduate student asked an excellent question is important to discuss something potentially negative regarding a candidate.
about hybridization and the identification problems it creates. The dis- For example, you may be concerned that the candidate might not make a
good impression when interviewed or has something in his or her back-
..
cussion leader followed up briefly, but it was clear that the student was
ground that needs explaining; then you may want to discuss this in the let-
not quite satisfied with the answer. The follow-up role play involved the ter and offer some explanation.
undergraduate (played by Jasmine or me) coming to an office hour of
the discussion leader (played by a seminar student) to mercilessly pursue
this point. One of Jasmine's greatest inspirations was to have students
take a "multi-headed" approach to role playing. For example, in the
office hour just described, rather than put a single student on the spot in
the role of discussion leader, Jasmine decided to "freeze frame" the office
hour, during which time the target seminar student consulted with the
other students before unfreezing the scenario and returning to the office
hour attendee. This worked beautifully, not only setting the students at
ease, but also stimulating creative, thoughtful solutions.

Would you agree that the explicit details make a big difference?
NAVIGATING ACADEMIA ESTABLISHING YOURSELF IN GRADUATE SCHOOL 57
56
1'a "IWenty-"IWo _
Task "IWenty-One sk
Read this short section from the final paragraph of a letter of recommendation What do you think of these forms of reassuranceto a reader that the candidate
written for a graduate student applying for a junior faculty position. Consider istruly outstanding? Which might you accept, and which not?
the questions that follow.
1. I know this letter describes a person who seems too good to be true, but
Melissa Jones has an abundance of talent, energy, and knowledge. But I can assureyou that Shaw is very, very, very exceptional.

let me end by confessing to a small anxiety. I have already said that she
2. I realize that this letter is extremely positive and enthusiastic, but in my
can sometimes be quiet and shy in more social occasions, although at many years of teaching, I have seen only one other student as outstand-
other times she can be vibrant and entertaining. My anxiety is that she ing as Anand.

can still underperforrn in an interview or a professional conversation, 3. I have seen Vadim evolve over the years into a creative, self-motivated
especially if she feels (rightly or wrongly) under pressure. I only mention researcherwho has taken on a leadership role in our research group. I can
easily foresee how this young scholar will someday make a major contri-
this because any such reticences do not represent Melissa as she really is.
bution to his chosen area of study.
Please let me know if I can be of further assistance.
4. There have been rather few students for whom I could write such a posi-
1. The writer is obviously concerned about the impression the candidate tive letter of recommendation. I am pleased to be able to support Marie
might make and wants to reassurethe reader that the candidate is really in her pursuit of a graduate career.
a good catch. Do you think the writer dealt with concerns fairly? Do you
think the writer has helped the candidate?

2. Do you think the end of the letter was the best place to discuss the ..
writer's concerns? As a lighthearted exercise, study these ambiguous recommenda-
tion statements that, from time to time, have been circulated on
Sometimes we think so highly of a candidate that we write a letter of rec-
the Internet and in other places. Can you figure out the two
ommendation that makes the candidate seem too good to be true. If a very
meanings, one positive and one negative, that can be attached
strong, positive letter is justified, then it is important to reassure the reader to each of these?
that the candidate is as good as you have described him or her to be.
1. Youwill be lucky if you can get this person to work for you.
2. I am pleased to say this candidate is a former colleague of
mine.
3. I would urge you to waste no time in making this candidate
an offer.
4. This candidate is an unbelievable worker.
S. I most enthusiastically recommend this candidate with no
qUalifications whatsoever.
6. I can assure you that no person would be better for the job.
58 NAVIGATING ACADEMIA. ESTABLISHING YOURSELF IN GRADUATE SCHOOL
59

A further example of an ambiguous recommendation is given. It pane letter said one thing, while reading across the two pages
is our modernized version of a famous letter of recommendation communicated something quite different. Participants in our
written originally in French by the famous French statesman classes often say that such ambiguities are possible in their lan-
Cardinal Richelieu 0585-1642) to the French ambassador in guages. Chinese students point out, for example, that the true
Rome about a messenger on his way to Rome. opinion can be obtained by reading only the first characters in
Mandarin sentences.
To Whom It May Concern

1. I am writing this letter for Mr. Charles Green,

2. a colleague at this institution, And as a final point, instructors sometimes ask their students to write
their own letters of recommendation, which the instructors then edit, print
3. who has asked for one. Mr. Green is the most
out on department notepaper, and sign. Although we don't approve of this
4. intelligent, talented and least practice, we know it occurs, more commonly in some cultures than in oth-
5. difficult of all my past and present colleagues. ers. As instructors, we think it better to decline to write letters for students
6. He impresses everybody he meets. you do not really know, or at least we need to make sure you are provided
with sufficient information to make a reasonable job of the task.
7. I have often written supportive letters for him,
8. because of my high regard for him, not
Task Twenty-Three
9. because he has put me under pressure to do so.
10. We would be very sorry to lose him. Bynow we think you are in a strong position to write a useful recommendation
letter. One option is to draft your letter for one of the individuals whose CV you"
11. I think it is my responsibility to suggest to you
can find in the final section; another option is to write a letter for a fellow stu-
12. in your own best long-term interests dent or colleague.

13. to pay very serious attention to Charles Green,

14. for then will emerge talent rather than
15. a person unworthy of a senior position with you.
16. I could offer more praise, but
17. I believe I have communicated my true opinion.

Honestly yours,
Eileen Over

Now that you have read the letter, read it again, reading only the
odd numbered lines to reveal the true recommendation! Cardi-
nal Richelieu used the same device; reading down his open two-
.....•

supporting the Publication Process

('
([/ )

\; ~~3\ )
..
~'-== ~VSH-

DREAMS OF ACADEMIC GLORY

"Dear Mr. Singh:

We would be delighted to publish your paper. Not only

that, but we have decided that your beautifully
written submission letter is publishable as well. "

This penultimate section deals with communications that form part of the
Publication process. The final subsection also covers the "end game" of con-
StruCting acknowledgments for theses and dissertations.

61
62 NAVIGATING ACADEMI.'\. SUPPORTING THE PUBLICATION PROCESS
63

Manuscript Subm'issio ns HoW would the editor react?

Let us hope that your previous academic communications have helped you 1. Letter A engages in a considerable amount of credentialism ("leading
assemble a paper for possible publication. You have selected a journal and institution in my country"; "written several articles"). It is more about
now need to post a short submission message (or cover letter) to the editorial the author than about the paper.
email address of that journal. We are thus presuming that your manuscript
2. Letter A does not give the actual title of the paper, while Letter B
will today be submitted electronically; in all cases, however, the accompany, does.
ing message should be professional and usually brief. In particular, it should
3. The author of A suggests that the editor make any necessary
focus on the basic information the editor will be looking for.
corrections.

4. Letter B's closing phrase is in due course, while Letter A's is as soon as
Task Twenty-Four a
possible. (B's closing phrase is British; Americans will probably prefer
Two versions of a simple submission message follow. Compare them, discuss them at your convenience)
with a partner (if possible), and then try to anticipate the editor's reactions.
5. Letter A does not clearly state that it has not been submitted else-
Letter A where, but Letter B does.
Dear Dr. Carduner, 6. Letter B mentions it is partly based on PhD research.
First of all, let me introduce myself to you. My name is ,

Assistant Professor of Finance, working at University, a leading There are a number of other administrative matters that may arise, occa-
sionally at the time of submission, but more often subsequently. These are
institution in my country. I have written several articles on microfinanc-
really beyond the scope of this small book, but we mention them briefly
ing, and I would now like to contribute the enclosed paper to your dis- here.
..
tinguished journal. I hope you will be able to include it in a
A. Recommending reviewers
forthcoming issue. Please make any corrections you think necessary.

I look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible Many journals allow this. Here is the American Sociological Review: "In
your cover letter, you may recommend specific reviewers (or identify
Sincerely
individuals that A5R should not use). Do not recommend colleagues, col-
Letter B laborators, or friends." So, one strategy might be to look at the list of
Dear Dr. Carduner, people you have cited, and choose one leading figure, one well-pub-
I would like to submit to your journal for possible publication the lished researcher, and one junior scholar. Alternatively or additionally,
take advice from an appropriate senior member of your department. Or
enclosed paper entitled "Microfinancing in Rural Bangladesh: Causes of
finally, decide not to recommend anybody
Microenterprise Success and Failure." The specific subject of this paper
has not been submitted for publication elsewhere; it is partly based upoIl B. Charges and fees

research performed for the completion of my PhD thesis.

Journals in many fields outside the humanities and social sciences now
I look forward to hearing from you in due course.
require authors to pay page charges when an article in accepted, and
Sincerely Somejournals are now requiring authors to pay a submission fee (often of
64 NAVIGATING ACADElv)\,,\ SUPPORTING THE PUBLICATION PROCESS 65

$75 or $100) on acceptance. Often the first few pages (say, 6-10) will be
Responding to Reviewers and Editors
free, but after that substantial fees may be imposed; for example, the
Journal of the Optical Society of America charged in 2010, $220 for each Okay, you have submitted your manuscript. Now you wait for the review
extra printed page. In a second instance, the Astronomical Journal charged process to unfold. The process usually looks like this (Peak, 2009):
(again in 2010) $110 for every printed page. Both journals have consider_ Stage 1: A quick review by the editor, possibly leading to what is called a
able extra charges for printing color figures. As you can see, substantial "desk rejection" by the editor herself. For example, the article
costs can be involved. However, if you have no access to research grants Or may be much too long, have obvious methodological weak-
you are in some other disadvantaged position, such as working in a lesser nesses,or not meet established guidelines for submission.
developed country, you can always write to the editor explaining why it is
Stage 2: Hopefully, though, it will be forwarded to two or three reviewers
difficult for you to pay the charges and fees. This may work. thought to be experts in the topic.

Stage 3: Reviewer responses received by the editor are forwarded to you,

C. Treatment of animal or human subjects
along with the editor's cover letter. This last will contain the deci-
If your work has involved human or animal subjects, you may need to sion: (a) Accept (this means usually with relatively minor revi-
assure the editor that you have followed the established guidelines for
sions); (b) Revise and Resubmit (perhaps the most common
outcome for many journals); and (c) Reject. It may also contain
your area.
advice as to how best to proceed, perhaps along with some
words of encouragement. However, remember that "an invita-
D. Use of proprietary (or commercial) material
tion to revise is not a guarantee of publication; rather it is an
If such substances have been used, you may need to clarify that you indication that the manuscript has the potential to be published,
have permission for their use. if it can be sufficiently improved to meet the expectations of the
reviewers and editor" (Feak, 2009). ..
E. Possible conflicts of interest Stage 4: If the decision is (a) or (b) above, you revise appropriately and
prepare a detailed response for the editor explaining what you
Recent scandals in the newspapers about the financing of medical
have done, not done, and why.
research by large pharmaceutical companies have led several journals to
be more cautious about this. You may need to disclose sources of Stage 5: The material is reviewed again by the editor, as well as often by

financing. the reviewer who had the most critical comments to make.

Stage 6: The editor sends a letter to you, offering Acceptance (with per-
F. Multiple authors haps small further revisions), Further Revision, or Rejection (usu-
ally rare at th is stage).
If there are a large number of co-authors, editors may require assurance
that each co-author played some significant part in the research. You So let's consider what we might do when in Stage 3 we get a "revise and
re-su brmr." response.
should also indicate who will be the corresponding author.

Doubtless, you had worked hard on your submission; indeed, in some

sense, it may have dominated your mental life for several months. You now
Task TWenty-Five ¢ get the responses from the journal, which recommends "Revise and resub-
Draft an appropriate submission letter to accompany one of your manuscriptS. Ill.it";further, at least one of the reviewers is fairly critical. Do not overreact
66 NAVIGATING ACADEML'\ SUPPORTING THE PUBLICATION PROCESS
67
to the criticism. Think about the long-term prospects and big picture. Fol_ Reviewer's comment:
low this well-known proverbial advice: In Italian (in translation) "The night
brings (good) advice"; In Russian, "Morning is wiser than evening"; and in I would suggest some further discussion on the benefits of VATS
Farsi, "Morning comes and goodness comes." So, put the responses aside for
a day or two until you have calmed down. Author's response:

As you plan your revisions, remember that the great majority of reviewers
The advantages of VATShave been very well documented elsewhere.
have used their considerable expertise to help you improve your manuscript.
Such a discussion would add to the length of the paper, which Reviewer
In most cases, they are trying to be fair and insightful and, in doing so, are
2 has suggested reducing. We have added one reference that explores
bringing considerable scholarship to the task, even if their writing style may
the advantages, but have not changed the text otherwise.
be relatively informal. In effect, they have entered into a dialogue with your
manuscript. Finally, remember that the reviewers will concentrate on what Stage 4
they think needs changing, not on sections that they find acceptable, or even
admirable. As a result, the reviews may look more negative than they really You have now revised, and it is time to resubmit your manuscript and
are. send an accompanying message to the editor.
As you plan your revisions, it is quite probable that the reviewers (and
editor) will offer conflicting advice. Here are some examples. Task Twenty-Six _
• Reviewer 1 (Rl) wants a stronger literature review; Reviewer 2 (R2)
Which of these do you think are appropriate for a letter written to accompany a
wants a more focused approach: "This is not a review article, so we
reviewed and revised manuscript? Discusswith a partner if possible.
don't need 70 references."
• R2 asks for more detail with regard to methodology; Rl and R3 do 1. I have revised the manuscript according to the reviewers' comments.
not. Thanks for your attention. ..
• R3 thinks that the scientific claims in the Discussion are not fully sup-
2. I have revised the manuscript, and below please find a summary of the
ported by the evidence, while Rl wants you to finish up with some
main changes made.
stronger practical recommendations.
• R2 wants more discussion about how the findings relate to theory; on 3. Pleasefind below a detailed list of the changes to the manuscript that
the other hand, the editor concludes that "this is a straightforward 'nor- have been made. I hope the revision meets with your approval.
mal science' empirical study that offers some new evidence; focus on
this." 4. I would like to thank the reviewers for their helpful comments. In the
commentary that follows, I have addressed each of the suggested
Obviously, some diplomacy is involved in this not atypical scenario. One changes and indicated how I have done this.
strategy is. to follow the recommendations that are the easiest for you to
carry out, and then deal with the rest as best you can. And don't forget yoU 5. I am really grateful to your excellent reviewers for their insiqhtful com-
ments on my humble manuscript. I have worked extremely hard over the
can always argue that you cannot make all the suggested changes within the
last two weeks in order to incorporate their wonderful suggestions. As
word (or character) limit that the journal requires. Here is an example frorn
you can see from the remainder of this response and from a re-reading of
a manuscript on thoracic surgery: my heavily revised manuscript, I have done my very best to follow almost
all of them. Thank you once again for giving me the opportunity to
improve my submission to your famous journal.
68 NAVIGATING ACADEMIA. SUPPORTING THE PUBLICATION PROCESS
69
Now let's look at an actual example. It is taken from a U.S. medical jour_ cechniques could produce an interesting large-scale analysis of sentence-ini-
nal and concerns an article submitted from Japan dealing with a surgical cial This in a corpus of student writing. While Rl was broadly happy to rec-
procedure called mediastinoscopy (a small cut is made in the neck and a thin ommend acceptance, R2 opted for "revise and resubmit" at best. Here is the
scope is inserted to examine the lungs for problems.) first of R2's major criticisms:

Reviewer'S Comment
A weakness lies in the absence of theory about writing, writing develop-
p. 11. The authors state that "it is neither practical nor economically jus- ment, teaching or writing instruction. In what way could (cognitive,
tifiable to recommend mediastinoscopy for all candidates for surgery." social, developmental) writing research benefit from the insioht acquired
by corpus analysis?
This may be the authors' belief, but many surgeons do find it practical
and justifiable to perform mediastinoscopy for all lung cancer patients.
Task Twenty-Eight _
Task Twenty-Seven _
A discussion between the two corpus linguist authors led them to consider
these possible responses to the criticism from R2. Which do you prefer? And
Which of the proposed responses by the authors do you prefer, and why?
what do you think actually happened?

A. p. 11. We have rewritten as follows: "Since it is neither practical nor Option A

economical to recommend mediastinoscopy for all candidates for sur-
gery, we developed indication criteria for cervical mediastinoscopy" We will withdraw the paper and resubmit it to a journal more open to
corpus linguistic research.
B. p. 11. Reviewer 2 objected to our statement about the justifiability of
routine mediastinoscopy
Option B
Response:Thisprocedure remains a point of controversy within thoracic ..
surgery On p. 11 we have qualified our stance by saying: "It is neither We will agree and, for the first time in our lives, study the writing

practical nor economical in Japan to recommend mediastinoscopy for all research literature in order to try to answer the criticisms.

candidates for surgery" Regardlessof opinions on this issue, we believe

Option C
everyone would agree that it is better to avoid this procedure if the same
information can be obtained non-invasively at much lower cost.
We will accept all of R15 suggestions, as well as some of R25 points. But
e. p. 11. An all-too-typical response from the American surgical estab- on the major one quoted above, we will argue back and say to the editor:
lishment focused, as it is, both on maximizing profits and reducing the
We think R2 is essentially missing the point. Our main aim was
chances of expensive malpractice lawsuits. In international terms, we
not to make any contribution to writing research theory, but to
stick to our original position. offer an introduction to useful methodological tools that may be
new to many members of the writing research community and to
A second actual example is taken from a reviewer's more general cort!' present a case study showing how the tools and techniques can
ments about a manuscript submitted to a journal dealing with writing be implemented. We believe that the decision is yours.
research. The manuscript was written by two corpus linguists whO Option D
attempted to show how a particular free software package could be easily
adopted for writing research and who then illustrated how the resulting We will recruit a third author who is a writing research expert.
NAVIGATING ACADEMIA
SUPPORTING THE PUBLICATION PROCESS 71
70
Now here are some general guidelines for correspondence with the editor:
Language Focus: Politely Standing Your Ground
1. Remember that an invitation to revise is usually a positive sign. So do
In the previous papers we have seen authors explaining why
not take criticisms personally.
they do not always agree with reviewers' comments. Choosing
the phraseology for arguing back can be important. You want to 2. Read the editor's letter and the reviewers' comments carefully.
make your point, but you need to do so with civility and sensitiv- 3. If the editor suggests getting help with the English, choose someone
ity.Here are a few language options that you might find helpful: who has some understanding of your research area as well as a good
knowledge of the language.
Reviewer B's criticism on p. 3, para 3. 4. Respond to each of the major comments. (Minor ones such as spelling
1. While we can see why Reviewer 8 objected to your statement corrections or corrections to references do not need detailed cornmen-
here, on balance we prefer to keep our original formulation for tary.)

the following reasons: ... 5. In your response, help the editor by using detailed references to the
2. With regard to this particular criticism, after considerable text, such as "p. 2 first para."
reflection, we believe what we wrote is tenable, especially fol- 6. Thank people for useful suggestions, but do not automatically defer to
lowing the additional supporting evidence provided by the the editor or reviewers. If you disagree with a comment, explain why.
recent paper by ... , which we have added to the references. 7. If you have made additional changes not suggested by the reviewers,
3. On this point there is clearly room for a difference of opinion, briefly explain what they are and why you have made them.
and we have carefully considered B's alternative interpretation 8. If you have been asked to revise and resubmit, do so as quickly as is
of the situation. We have added "probably" to indicate that convenient.
some doubt remains, but believe that the evidence continues
9. Explain what you are doing about any page charges or fees, if this is ••
to support our original position. appropriate.
4. Reviewer B's criticism is interesting, but would seem to involve
10. If you do not plan to revise, inform the editor of your decision.
a slight misinterpretation of our position, and here we might
note that neither of the other reviewers had any difficulty with
accepting our claim. We have added a further reference (which
supports our position) to indicate that our interpretation of the
data is in no way idiosyncratic.
72 NAVIGATING ACADEMIA SUPPORTING THE PUBLICATION PROCESS
73
Task Twenty-Nine • Dear Sir, Madame or Other,
Here is a response letter. In your view, how well does it follow the guidelines Enclosed is our latest version of MS#85-02-22-RRRRR, that is, the
given?
re-re-revised revision of our paper. Choke on it. We have again rewritten
Dear Dr. _ the entire manuscript from start to finish. We even changed the goddarn
Thank you for your recent letter regarding our manuscript entitled running head! Hopefully, we have suffered enough by now to satisfy
___________ . We are pleased that you have asked us to even you and your bloodthirsty reviewers.
revise and resubmit our work to The Annals of Thoracic Surgery. In I shall skip the usual point by point description of every single change
accordance with your recommendations and those of the reviewers we we made in response to the critiques. After all, it is fairly clear that your
have made the following changes to the manuscript. reviewers are less interested in details of scientific procedures than in
1. Reviewer 1 suggested that the title be shortened. We have done working out their personality problems and sexual frustrations by seek-
this. ing some kind of demented glee in the sadistic and arbitrary exercise of
2. Reviewer 1 asked if. ... Unfortunately, ... tyrannical power over hapless authors like ourselves who happen to fall
3. Reviewer 3 thought that the number of illustrations could be into their clutches. We do understand that, in view of the misanthropic
reduced. We agree and have deleted Figures 5 and 7. The remain- psychopaths you have on your editorial board, you need to keep sending
ing figures have been renumbered ... them papers, for if they aren't receiving manuscripts they'd probably be
[A further seven points that the authors addressed, but omitted here.] out mugging old ladies or clubbing baby seals to death. Still, from this
We thank the reviewers for their thoughtful and careful review of our batch of reviewers, C was clearly the most hostile and we request that
manuscript and hope that these changes will make the manuscript suit- you do not ask him, or her, to review this revision. Indeed, we have
..
able for publication. If any additional changes are necessary, please let us mailed letter bombs to four or five people we suspect of being reviewer
know and we will respond immediately. If the paper is now acceptable to C, so if you send the manuscript back to them the review process could
you, we can confirm that we are in a position to pay any page charges. be unduly delayed.
Sincerely,

We hope that you will be pleased with this revision and will finally

Finally on a Lighter Note recognize how urgently deserving of publication this work is. If not,

We know that receiving a rejection letter or even one that requires an ardu- then you are an unscrupulous, depraved monster with no shred of
ous "revise and resubmit" process can cause a strong emotional response. human decency. You ought to be in a cage. May whatever heritage you
We, therefore, close this section with several paragraphs from a letter to the Come from be the butt of the next round of ethnic jokes. If you accept
editor published in the American Journal 0/ Radiology on April Fool's Day,
it, however, we wish to thank you for your patience and wisdom
1992. The fact that it has been republished in several other journals since
throughout this process and to express our appreciation of your scholarly
shows how well it resonates with the authors of manuscripts. It has also
proved to be a great success in our workshops. insights. To repay we would be happy to review some manuscripts for
74 NAVIGATING ACADEI'v1IJ\ SUPPORTING THE PUBLICATION PROCESS
75
you; please send us the next manuscript that any of these reviewers sub- We can notice here that there are no first-person pronouns, and no evalua-
mit to your journal. tive language, such as, She is well-known internationaLly for her writing work-
Assuming you accept this paper, we would also like to add a footnote shops. Everything then depends on the choice of the factual material to
acknowledging your help with this manuscript and to point out that We include. (But note that this may not be always true of departmental web-
sites, which sometimes offer more personal perspectives.)
liked the paper much better the way we originally wrote it, but you held
According to Tardy and Swales (2011), these biostarernenrs tend to follow
the editorial shotgun to our heads and forced us to chop, restate, hedge, a set pattern. Elements in parenthesis mayor may not occur.
expand, shorten, and in general convert a meaty paper into stir-fry veg-
Describe Position
etables. We couldn't, or wouldn't, have done it without your input.
(Confirm PhD and state where from)
Roy F. Baumeister
Summarize publications
Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, Ohio, 44106
List major research areas
Mention key professional activities
Journal Biostatements (Describe honors, etc.)
Mter your paper has been accepted, you may be asked to provide a brief
Task Thirty _
biostatement to be printed as part of your article. Although they are also
autobiographical, biostatements constitute a very different genre to those of
Eitherconstruct a biostatement for yourself, or edit this entry and reduce it from
Statements of Purpose or Personal Statements. They are short, to the point, its current 85 words to a maximum of 60 words.
and impersonal. They vary in length from a single sentence to a short para-
graph of usually fewer than a hundred words. Biostaternents of article John M. Swales was the director of the English Language Institute ••
authors may occur in journal articles (our multidisciplinary survey suggests from 1985 to 2001. Previously, he worked at universities in England and
that about 25 percent of journals print biostaternents), or as part of speaker
Mrica. He officially retired as a professor of Linguistics in 2006. His most
information on conference programs, in departmental newsletters, or,
increasingly, on departmental websites. recent publications are Telling a Research Story: Writing a Literature Review

Here is an example (written in fewer than 80 words): (with C. Feak) and Incidents in an EducationaL Life: A Memoir (of Sorts),
both published by Michigan Press in 2009. He remains a faculty advisor
Christine B. Feak is a Lecturer IV in the English Language Institute at
to the MICASE project. In 2004, he received an honors PhD from
the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor. She is the co-author of several Uppsala.
articles and textbooks, the latest being Academic Interactions (with
S. Reinhart and T. Rohlck) and TeLLinga Research Story (with J. M·
Swales), both published by the University of Michigan Press. She is a
member of the editorial boards of The EngLishfor Specific Purposes Journal
and JournaL of English for Academic Purposes.
writing Acknowledgments

There has been considerable research into acknowledgments in the last two
decades, some by information scientists (e.g., Cronin, 1995) and some by
applied linguists (e.g., Giannoni, 2002; Hyland, 2004; and Gesuato, 2004).
Part of this work has focused on acknowledgments in research articles and
part on acknowledgments in theses and dissertations. A major motive for all
these investigations lies in the fact that acknowledgments offer public recog-
nition of some of the networks and relationships that underlie the research
process. Interview research by Cronin and others also suggests that acknowl-
edgments are widely read. Indeed, some years ago we asked a senior applied
linguist which part of a research paper he read first, and he replied, "the
acknowledgments." When we expressed surprise at this, he replied, "Well, I
want to know who has been talking to whom."

Journal Acknowledgments
We deal with these first. Here are some findings from the available literature: ••

• Acknowledgments are becoming increasingly common and are becom-

ing longer in length.
• Acknowledgments in the "hard" sciences tend to focus on financial and
technical support, including access to data or materials.
• Acknowledgments in the "soft" sciences and the humanities tend to
focus on intellectual and academic assistance (such as thanking review-
ers for their suggestions).
• A recent study of medical journals shows an average length of acknowl-
edgments of around 85 words.
• If allowed, there is a strong preference for using I for single authors and
we for multiple authors rather than third person forms such as the pres-
ent authors.
• After acknowledging multiple sources of help, only a minority of texts
conclude with a disclaimer such as, However, any remaining errors are
my own.

77
78 NAVIGATING ACADEMIA. WRITING ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
79
• Acknowledgments usually occur at the foot of the first page. SOllle_
times, however, they can occur just before the references, as in, for
example, some aerospace and anthropology journals. As a bridge between the shorter acknowledgments in RAs and
the longer ones in theses and dissertations, consider these differ-
Task Thirty-One a ent ways of expressing gratitude. It is important to offer some
variety in the thanking expressiqns you use. We have divided
Read this acknowledgments text, and answer the questions.
them into basic and follow-up expressions of gratitude.

CD The authors wish to thank Tom H. __ , Carole W __ , and Eliz- Basic

abeth Z.__ for their helpful comments at various stages of this project.
I am very thankful to X for Y
Q)We thank Raymond D. __ , The Center for Public Opinion at_,
and the Election Study Center at __ for use of their survey data. I am deeply grateful to X for Y

Q) However, they bear no responsibility for our interpretation of the data. I would like to offer my sincere thanks to X for Y
® We are also indebted to the University of __ and the John T __ I would like to express my deep gratitude to X for Y
Center for __ for their financial assistance with this project. I am indebted to X for Y

I owe a great deal to X for Y

1. What field do you think this text is taken from?

2. The people mentioned here are expressed differently from the authors
I owe a debt of gratitude to X for Y
cited in the body of the research article (RA). What is the difference-and I am pleased to acknowledge the support of X for Y
why?

3. How have the authors ordered their acknowledgments? FoUow-Up

..
4. How is the disclaimer expressed?
Special gratitude is also extended to X for Y
5. Suppose the authors also wanted to acknowledge the reviewers. How
might they expressthis statement, and where might they put it? Many thanks are also due to X for Y
6. Suppose you want to add that an earlier version of this project was pre- My heartfelt appreciation also goes out to X for Y
sented at a conference. What you would write, and where would you
place it?
Another way of varying expressions of gratitude is to change the
Word order (Gesuato, 2004),as in:

I would like to thank Jane Fountain for her generous

help.

For her generous help, I would like to thank Jane

Fountain.
NAVIGATING ACADEMIA WRITING ACKNOWLEDGMENTS 81
80
don't leave anybody out who should have been acknowledged! On the other
Some writers try to avoid the repetition of these phrases by opting hand, it is worth remembering that this is the one place where your own
for a list format. Here is a good example: voice can be heard, uninfluenced by your academic mentors.
In our experience, master's theses acknowledgments in the United States
I would like to offer my sincerest thanks to my committee
tend to be quite short, while those prefacing dissertations can be quite long,
members: to the Chair, A_ B_, for his wise counsel and especially those written by Americans in the "softer" fields. Hyland (2004)
direction; to C_ D_, who has for many years supported studied acknowledgments in Hong Kong master's and doctoral theses; the
and encouraged me; to E_ F_ for always answering my average word length for the former was 117 and for the latter 205. In both
inquiries so promptly; and to G_ H_ for his time and help cases, there are usually several people and several organizations to be
thanked, and it is important to find a range of ways of expressing gratitude.
in working out certain technical problems.

We dare say that the acknowledgments writer's nightmare is to Task Thirty-Two _

inadvertently leave somebody out who ought to have been
Here is a draft of the acknowledgments in a master's thesis. Some words have
included. Some writers try to avoid possible offense by offering a
been left out; which of the choices given after the text would you recommend?
generalized statement of thanks at the outset. Here is a nice
example:
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
It would be difficult to acknowledge everyone who First and foremost, I would like to <D my profound
has in some way or another contributed to the
gratitude to the Royal Thai Government, specifically to the Ministry of
research reported in this dissertation.
Foreign Affairs, for granting me support to Q) my
graduate studies. The support has given me not only a future career, but
..
also opportunities to Q) to higher education abroad,
Theses and Dissertation Acknowledgments
to work on a project I am interested in, and to prepare myself to better
At least in the United States, theses and dissertation acknowledgments, for
obvious reasons, are not an examinable part of a master's thesis or doctoral serve my country and society.
dissertation. What is written is entirely at the discretion of the writer. There are two people whom I would like to ® _
However, the unexamined nature of the acknowledgments can present individually. First, I am deeply grateful to Professor L., my thesis advisor,
some dangers, perhaps especially for the non-native speaker of English. On a
for her encouragement, and careful and wise guidance of my project.
macro level, there is a need to strike a balance between not saying enough
Secondly, I @ a great deal to Professor Y., my second
(possibly suggesting ingratitude) and giving too much praise and thanks to
everybody else (possibly suggesting that there is little of yourself in the dis- reader, whose supervision and advice ® substantially
sertation). On the micro level, since the acknowledgments come at the to my study.
beginning of a thesis or dissertation, mistakes and infelicities in them can Finally, I (j) to thank all my friends in Ann
create a negative first impression. Clearly then, it is important for yoU to Arbor who have always supported me in every way, especially in the
have your acknowledgments reviewed and discussed by a friend or colleague
@ of this project.
before it is too late. Taking this step is also a way of making sure that yoU
(Luejit, minor editing)
82 NAVIGATING ACADEMIA WRITING ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
83
1. communicate/ express/offer many facilities put at my disposal by the Director-Dr. P.The
2. pursue/obtain/follow office's staff members received me with open arms and ....
3. be open/be confronted/be exposed
C. Writing this dissertation has given me opportunities not only for
4. introduce/cite/acknowledge
strengthening my academic achievement but also for understand-
5. have/owe/offer
ing American people and culture. Thus it has been exciting and
6. has devoted/ has helped/has contributed
challenging for me to carry out research on small-town America's
7. want/need/would like
neighborhood quality of life....
8. carrying through/completion/undertaking

As the Language Focus on Expressions of Gratitude (see pages 79-80) We have already seen in Task Thirty-two that Luejit, as a Thai civil ser-
and the Task Thirty-One make very clear, there are strong phraseological vant, began by showing her allegiance to her government; students from cer-
conventions and expectations in these types of text. In addition, there are tain other cultures have pointed out that their traditions would require them
matters of judgment here about the level of indebtedness the writer wishes to mention support from their immediate families first. In general, however,
to express. U.S. dissertation acknowledgments tend to follow this structure:

1. Dissertation committee (advisors/supervisors)

Task Thirty-Three _
2. Other university people playing a role
We think that the three extracts from these acknowledgments are each, in dif- 3. Financial support
ferent ways, not quite right. Can you identify the weaknesses in each?
4. Fellow students
A. The author wishes to express his deep and sincere appreciation to 5. Other special friends ..
the Co-Chairpersons of his doctoral committee, Professor K. and 6. Family
Professor M., not only for their valuable advice and unfailing
Task Thirty-Four _
guidance, but also for providing oral support and encouragement
during a frustrating period. The author is deeply and forever If relevant, write a draft of your acknowledgments for your thesis, dissertation,
or research paper.
grateful to both of them.

B. I am enormously grateful to the Institute and to its then director,

A. Even more significant was the field research fellowship awarded
to me by the R. I cannot put into words my appreciation for the
Moving On to an Academic or
Research Career

The final section of this small book deals with some of the written genres
that you are likely to become involved with as you move on from your grad-
uate education or from a temporary post-doc position. (However, we recog-
nize that you have probably needed a CV long before this-a fact we have
indicated by earlier references to this section.) We deal in order with CVs,
external job applications, and Statements of Teaching Philosophy. This order
approximately reflects what many people feel to be an increasing level of
uncertainty about these communications. However, these days a certain
amount of Internet searching will usually turn up many pieces of useful
advice.

Curricula Vitae
A curriculum vitae (CV), Latin for "course of life," is an account in note ••
form of your education and career. (Note that in British English the abbre-
viation "c.v," is often used.) Your CV is a living document in that it contin-
ues to change and grow along with your experiences. Senior researchers may
have CVs extending over many pages, while junior researchers will need
fewer pages. As with many of the other genres discussed in this book, CVs
will exhibit some cultural variation, which you may want to take into
aCCOuntas you prepare or update your vitae or revise it for a specific job
application.

85
86 NAVIGATING ACADEMIA. MOVING ON TO AN ACADEMIC OR RESEARCH CAREER 87
Task Thirty-Six _
Task Thirty-Five •
Consider these talking points about CVs; in so doing, assume a U.S. destination Here is a typical CV written by an American citizen in 2010 for a U.S. audience.
for your cv. Work through the points with a partner if possible. Indicate What do you like and dislike about it? What suggestions might you make to
whether you agree, disagree, or are unsure or you and a partner do not agree. Robin Lee?

+ = agree
- = disagree. Robin S. Lee
? = unsure (or my partner and I don't agree)
Department of Biology e-mail: [email protected]
1. A resume and a CV are the same genre.
3039 Watson Hall URL: www.xxx.morc.emap.~js/
Central State University (555) 555-0000
2. You should include your date of birth, sex, and nationality.
Centerville, OH 12345-6789
3. Your CV should include both your home and departmental
address. Education

4. It is best to use reverse chronological order throughout (i.e., put 2009-present Doctoral candidate in Molecular Biology
the most recent things first).
Central State University, Centerville, OH
5. The longer your Cv, the better. (Degree expected summer 2013)

6. Provide some information about your high school.

2007 MS in Biology, Southeastern State
7. List only advanced or special courses you have taken. University, Southville, MA ..
8. List computer skills or expertise in using special equipment.
Thesis: Protein Folding of Alcohol
Dehydrogenase
9. Put your name in much larger font at the top.

10. Do not try to "translate" degrees that have no exact equivalent in 2005 BS in Biology, Eastern State University,
the United States (Diplom in Germany, D.E.A in France, M.Phil. in
Buffalo, NY (GPA 3.7)
Britain).

Research Experience
This task has been designed to raise your awareness about some of the
options facing someone writing a CV suitable for an academic or research Fall 201O-present Research assistant: DNA isolation from
position. With this as background, now consider how you might respond to fungal specimens with Dr. R. Anderson
the material in Task Thirty-Six. Fall 2009-summer 2010 Research assistant: Electron microscopy of
dried mycological specimens. PI, Dr. F.
Guzman.
MOVING ON TO AN ACADEMIC OR RESEARCH CAREER 89
NAVIGATING ACADEMIA
88
Field assistant: Southeastern State Univer- reasons) you may have more success with a functional CV-one that groups
Summer 2006
your skills and achievements into sections, thus highlighting your skills
sity Biological Station
rather than focusing on specific work titles and dates. For example, you may
Teaching Experience have subsections that focus on laboratory skills or equipment that you can
Fall 2010 Laboratory instructor for Introductory use, which can be presented as a sequence of activities and achievements.
Biology, Central State University
Full teaching responsibilities for one
undergraduate section of 18 students Gapping is a technical term for the deletion of certain linguistic
Teaching assistant for Anatomy and Physi- elements, such as in diary writing like, went lor walk and saw a
Winter 2006
lox. In a Cv, gapped phrases may be preferred over full sen-
ology: Southeastern State University
tences so that information is conveyed using the smallest number
Full teaching responsibilities for one of words necessary.
undergraduate section of 26 students The elements most likely to be gapped in CVs are first-person
Lab assistant for Physiology and Develop- pronouns, auxiliary verbs, articles, relative clause elements (e.g.,
Fall 2005
courses taught rather than courses I have taught, and certain
ment: Southeastern State University
prepositional phrases). Thus, gapped phrases such as these are
Assisted students with weekly lab projects common in CVs:
and answered student questions
1. fluent in Mandarin
F. Guzman and R. S. Lee. Morchella asci
Publications 2. taught advanced-level calculus
Ultrastructure. Mycologia (in press). 3. coordinated and implemented two research projects ..
Conference Presentations 4. conducted data analysis
Summer 2010 R. S. Lee and F. Guzman. Ultrastructure 5. designed Web pages for Introduction to Psychology
of Morchella asci. Poster presentation at (2007-2009)

AIBS, Baltimore, MD. 6. duties included maintaining lab equipment

7. accompanied students on 2010 geology field trip
Honors and Awards
Journal of Cell Science Travel Award 8. helped construct interactive database
2008
9. coded transcripts using Resourcer program
Southeastern State University Research
2006
10. languages spoken: Spanish, English, Portuguese
Foundation Fellowship
11. courses taught: Latin American History,Mexico Today
As demonstrated in this CV, information for a U.S. audience is usually 12. grants received: 2010-2011, Rivera Grant ($12,000) for
presented in reverse chronological order. However, if your academic and/or archival research
employment history has noticeable gaps (which may exist for any number of
NAVIGATING ACADEMIA. MOVING ON TO AN ACADEMIC OR RESEARCH CAREER 91
90
There are often questions about what to include on a CV and how to
Notice that in the last three cases, the participle follows the sub- include it. In this next task we introduce some interesting questions that
ject. This is because the gapped elements include active auxil- have arisen in our classes.
iary verbs and relative clause elements. The full forms would be
Task Thirty-Eight _
lOa. Languages that I can speak / have spoken:
lla. Courses that I have taught: . How would you handle the following (if at all). Work with a partner, if possible.

12a. Grants that I have received: .

1. Your advisor asks you to give a talk based on your research to her gradu-
Placing the participle in pre-position could result in some confu- ate level class. She asks you to fill the full 50-minute period. If you decide
sion. For instance, a reader might think that taught courses (com- to do so, how would you enter it on the CV?
pare to 11above) are courses that were taught to you.
2. Your advisor asks you to give a 20-minute talk on your experiences as a
Finally and more important, note that gapping not only
new graduate student. How might this be entered on the CV, if at all?
reduces the number of words but also makes your CV more
impressive. The elimination of all those first-person references 3. The final session of an advanced class or seminar is a poster session where
makes the CV appear less "egocentric," and the use of verbs all students showcase their work. Friends, colleagues, and all members of
makes your life story more achievement- and action-oriented. the department are also invited to attend. Is this a publication? A presen-
(Compare Instructor for advanced-level calculus with Taught tation? How would you include this?
advanced-level calculus.)
4. Your university sponsors a biannual, informal poster session that provides
an opportunity for doctoral students to present their dissertation ideas
and research. Students must submit a poster proposal that is reviewed by ..
Task Thirty-Seven -------------- a university-wide committee. Should this be considered a publication or a
Take this short text that focuses on teaching experience, and rewrite it so that it presentation? How would you include this?

would be suitable for a Cv. Be sure to make up a subheading, too.

5. The 200-word abstract of your conference presentation appears in the
glossy conference program. Is this a publication? And if so, how will you
My first year (2007) in the Chemistry Department as a beginning grad
cite it?
student I worked in the Chemistry Tutorial Center, a center that provided

one-on-one help to students in any Chemistry class. As a tutor I helped stu- 6. A SOO-word report of the research you presented at a conference appears
in the New York Times. How will you deal with this, if at all?
dents from Introduction to Chemistry (Chern 100) as well as those Irorn

senior level Organic Chemistry (Chern 415). I have been a teaching assis- 7. A student reporter from the university newspaper visits the lab where you
work and discusses in some detail the work that you have been doing.
tant for the Department of Chemistry since 2008. During that time I have
Would you include this? If so, how?
taught a number of courses, including General and Inorganic Chemistry
8. You translate one of your published papers into your own language for a
(Chern 125), Inorganic Chemistry (Chern 130), and Structure and Reac-
0 journal in your home country. In so doing, you make a few small changes
tivity (Chern 210). I have been fully responsible for my own section of21 to make it more accessible for the local readership. Is this a separate pub-
each semester for the last year. I have really enjoyed my experiences as a lication? What advice would you offer here?

teacher of chemistry and would like to continue teaching after I graduate.

NAVIGATING ACADEMIA MOVING ON TO AN ACADEMIC OR RESEARCH CAREER 93
92
Here is a model job application letter for a beginning position at a small
External Job Applications liberal arts college. We have numbered the paragraphs for ease of reference.
Most final year master's students are on the job market, looking for research Following the letter, we have made a number of comments about these
positions in government, education, or industry. Those completing PhDs paragraphs.
may be searching for post-doc, or academic positions as assistant professors
(both tenure-track and visiting), or perhaps as instructors or lecturers. Dr. Mary Gordon 456 Third Street

In your field, which of the following would you expect to include in your Chair, Search Committee Central City
application for an assistant professor position? (Y = Yes, N = No, ? = perhaps Department of Communication Sciences CS 56122-3452
or sometimes) Raydown College

Raydown, IX 22222 November 1, 2010

1. A single-authored writing sample

Dear Dr. Gordon,

2. Samples of co-authored publications
(1) I am writing to apply for the position of Assistant Professor of
3. A short (half-page) cover letter Psychology, as advertised in the APA Monitor (#73). I am currently a

doctoral candidate in psychology at Central State University and plan to

4. A long (two-page) job application letter
defend my dissertation in April or May next year. I am especially inter-
5. A statement of research interests ested in this position because my primary teaching interests closely par-

allel those described in your advertisement.

6. A statement of your teaching philosophy
(2) As you can see from my Cv, I have had considerable teaching ..
7. A syllabus that you have designed experience in a variety of areas. In fact, at this university I have taught

courses in three departments: Psychology, Linguistics, and English. Last

8. A sample lesson plan
winter term, I was a teaching assistant for Developmental Psychology
9. A transcript (official copy) (Psych 268). My duties included designing the syllabus and assignments

10. Copies of Likert-scale teaching evaluations for my discussion sections, leading discussions, grading, and assisting

student groups in their joint research projects. In the Department of

Linguistics, I was first a TA for the introductory survey course (Linguis-

tics 101), and then last summer I was given an opportunity to design

and have full responsibility for a second-level introductory course in psy-

cholinguistics, my principal area of specialization. More than half of the
27 students in this class were elementary school teachers in training and
so I gave special attention to child language acquisition. Finally, I have
94 NAVIGATING ACADEMIA MOVING ON TO AN ACADEMIC OR RESEARCH CAREER
95
on three occasions taught writing-in-the-curriculum composition courses the verbal explanations of bilingual children and whether this group has
for the English Department, all three times focusing on writing in the a more or less evolved "theory of mind" than their monolingual counter-
social sciences. This last experience has helped me to rethink the role of parts. These research projects could very easily involve undergraduates
writing in social science education and how this connects with ways of who are interested in children's cognitive and linguistic development.
developing students' critical thinking and argumentation skills. (6) I am enclosing a curriculum vitae and a summary of my disserta-
(3) I therefore believe that I could satisfy your department's teaching tion for your consideration. I also enclose a separate sheet with the
needs in a number of areas. Indeed, I would welcome an opportunity to names of four people I have asked to supply letters of reference. If you
teach introductory courses in developmental and cognitive psychology need further information, I can be most easily reached at 734-555-7890
and other courses in language acquisition, psycholinguistics, and bilin- or by email ([email protected]). I thank you for your consideration and
gualism. I also believe that my experiences in teaching social science look forward to hearing from you.
writing and advising students on their projects will be valuable for your Sincerely,
team-taught "Research Lab in Communication Sciences." Sandra J. Pomona
(4) My research interests are described more fully elsewhere, so I will
Commentary
only offer some highlights here. I am primarily interested in what chil-

dren's conversations tell us about their thinking processes and about a. In Para. 7 Sandra clearly explains her current status and why she is
especially interested in this position. In this way, she shows she has
their beliefs about other people's thoughts (both children and adults).
read the advertisement carefully
More specifically, I have focused on 8 to 10 year olds and how they jus-
b. In Para. 2 she immediately jumps in with a full account of her teach- ••
tifY, condemn, or explain the actions and behaviors of their peers. I use
ing experiences to date. She stresses the variety of this experience
experimental techniques for this involving pairs of children watching and how she took on various responsibilities in this regard.
videotaped episodes of other children's verbal explanations. In my disser- c. In the next paragraph, she follows up by indicating what she might
tation, this data is then used to construct what we might call a 10 year teach at Raymond College. She is both clear here and yet suitably
old's "theory of mind." I argue that how far this "theory" is developed in modest, as in I therefore believe that I could satisfy. .. and I also
believe that my experiences in teaching ... will be valuable for ....
this age group predicts their level of social adjustment and maturation.
d. In Para. 4, she moves on to summarizing her research achievements
As the CV shows, I have already begun to present and publish my work
to date and follows this in the next paragraph, with an indication of
in this area.
her future researchplans. This latter paragraph serves to indicate that
(5) My future research interests lie in expanding my dissertation in she already possessesa coherent future research agenda and, more,
several directions. I am very interested in comparing the verbal justifica- one that is sensitive to the changing nature of American society
tions of my current research cohort with those of children of kinder- e. In the closing paragraph, she provides the necessarydetails for future
garten age. Like many I am also acutely aware that the United States is contacts, ending with a suitably open-ended, I thank you for your
consideration.
becoming a more multicultural society, and I therefore want to examine
NAVIGATING ACADEMIA MOVING ON TO AN ACADEMIC OR RESEARCH CAREER 97
96

Task Thirty-Nine a Statements of Teaching Philosophy

If relevant, write an application letter for a position that you are or might be Increasingly educational institutions are requesting Statements of Teaching
interested in. If this is not relevant, give Sandra some advice about her use of Philosophy as part of job application packages (Coppola, 2002). Usually these
the letter for other job applications.
can be quite short (often only one page), but that doesn't make them anyeas-
Sandra is also applying for two other positions. Position B is an assistant pro-
fessor of psychology position at a major research university that is well known ier to write! Perhaps the most important thing to remember about these state-
for its large and influential psychology department. Position C is a post-doc ments is that somebody has asked for them . .As a result, you are not only being
position in an institute for child development. Sandra contacts her advisor by asked to reflect on your past teaching and learning experiences in some ele-
email about Position B and asks, "Can I just send my original letter?" She vated and general kind of way; you are also being asked to project yourself, at
receivesthis reply: least indirectly, as a potential future employee of the institution to which you
have applied. The hiring committee wants to get a sense of how you might "fit
Hi, Sandra. Please please rethink your letter, which BTW was just
in." .As a result, visit your target institution's website, particularly documents
perfect for Raydown College. I know something of the dept in the Posi- such as the mission statement. What is the balance between critical thinking
tion B advert; these guys are serious researchers. So, at the least, reverse and technical skills? What does it say about internationalism or interdiscipli-
the order of the teaching and research paragraphs, and shorten a bit the narity? Is there a religious affiliation of any kind? Of course, do not try and
directly imitate what is said on the website, but let it inform the way you
former and lengthen the latter. You might also mention the kinds of
tackle this tricky writing task. (And, of course, this means you might have to
research grants you might apply for, and what you might teach at the
adjust your statement a bit for different kinds of school.)
graduate level. And are there any famous profs there you might want to Your statement will likely include several of the following;
mention, and who might act as your "mentor"? So, I know it's a pain,

but rethink.
1. your thoughts about how students learn
..
2. your thoughts about how instruction can best help student learning
Best.
3. your learning goals for students
Now Sandra contacts you by email about the post-doc and asks, "Do I just drop
4. your thoughts about how your teaching might further improve
the teaching stuff? And if 50 what should I add? What other changes?"
Write your advice to Sandra in the form of an email message. 5. your thoughts about how students (and instructors) might best be
evaluated

6. Your beliefs about changing educational needs in roday's world.

In a survey of search committee chairs, Meizlish & Kaplan (2008) found

broad agreement that the chairs wanted to see:

• Evidence that candidates had thought about how to enact their teach-
ing philosophies
• Evidence that candidates had reflected on teaching experiences
• Evidence that candidates were suitably student- or learning-centered
• Evidence that candidates could write in a readable manner (without too
much jargon).
98 NAVIGATING ACADEMIA MOVING ON TO AN ACADEMIC OR RESEARCH CAREER 99
Task Forty •
one major university once put it, "Instructors who don't do research are
Read these short paragraph-length extracts from Statements of Teaching Philos- like extinct volcanoes." But with the link, students will learn new theo-
ophy, and then consider these two questions. ries and their applications, which will be valuable for their future careers,
1. In which of the six categories would you place each extract? while instructors will be motivated to conduct research.
2. If you were chair of the search committee in your current institution, D.
would you rate each extract as: (a) very impressive Gust what you are
Of course I encountered the difficulty of facilitating discussion in a
looking for); (b) adequate, but not very attention-getting; or (c) really very
ordinary? classroom of thirty bolted-down seats, many of which held students
either unprepared or too shy to speak. Here, then, I must add a corollary
A.
to my first principle: facilitate different kinds of learning activity in the
The ultimate goal of engineering education is the teaching of applica-
classroom. After attending two presentations by Professor Sam Freed-
tions that will aid in solving real-world problems. I am confident that if
man, I have decided to introduce elements of cooperative learning into
students believe what they learn in classes will be applicable to their
the undergraduate classes I will be teaching in the future.
future careers, they will appreciate the importance of lessons and thus
E.
engage themselves in the learning process more completely. Thus, the
Teaching is a creative act, an organizational activity, and a social con-
primary task of a teacher is to address the importance and applications
tract. As a creative act, I see teaching as the root of all performance and
of lessons to the students in his or her classes.
communication, namely, to take ideas and feelings derived from my
B.
understanding of the world and create a situation in which others can ..
The instructor and student should engage in an active dialog. How-
understand what I see. As an organizational activity, I design learning
ever, it is easy to get carried away in a dialog with only a few students
environments in which others might develop the skills necessary to effec-
and forget you are facing a whole classroom. I have learned to always
tively construct and communicate their understandings of the world. As
reflect aloud on the interactions with individual students for the whole
a social contract, I have a set of moral obligations that drive my actions
class, so everybody can benefit from the discussion. I therefore try to
and behaviors as one human being who exists within the communities of
encourage questions, and to respond to questions constructively. I
higher education.
believe a good question presents itself as a good teachable moment.
Thus, I try to capture these "teachable moments" and relate them to the
conceptual principles I want to convey.
c.
I see an inseparable link between research and teaching. Research
informs teaching, and teaching, at least at the graduate level, informs
research. So this link is beneficial for both parties. As the president of