SUCCESS STORY

Justin V. Cariaga

As a young kid, we live in a farm where our house near from the neighbourhood. But I
don’t have any playmates and I only have me, my family and the field throughout my childhood
days. We are poor and vegetables from the farm became our daily meals. Growing up alone as
a child and thinking other kids are luckier than I am, I became rebellious and naughty, which
turned out that my parents needed to punish me in the traditional way.

The first time I stepped into school, I was so hungry and eager not only to learn new
things and meet new friends but because school is the only time where I can relieve the days of
being alone as a child, and because of this eagerness I had in me, I learned reading, writing and
counting easily. And when I was a kid, I became the first honour in our class.

Though I always thought that going to school is the best thing for a child to experience,
maybe I was wrong about the idea as when some children bullied me by calling me names and
labels. It even went to the limits when they physically hurt me by being their punching bags.

I was so afraid to go to school then, until I have to tell my mom what was happening.
She then came to school and confronted the other kids. But after a day or so, they still didn't
stop.

On the other hand, the first time my parents bought me a toy is when I got a star from
my teacher. This time I realized that maybe excelling in school means getting the privilege. So I
thought to myself, if my parents are happy and giving me rewards as they see me achieving in
school, then maybe the other children will never get to bully me again when I'll act as a genius!
So, I studied really hard and spent my time being alone at home by reading books and indulging
myself into learning. Then I became an honour pupil. Starting then, I seldom experienced
bullying as many children started to envy me and eventually, they became my friends. I
continuously get many awards and achievements until I graduated as sixth honour in
elementary.

Before stepping into this school’s senior high school, I asked myself questions on
whether I should transfer to another school, challenge myself in another environment or should I
just spend another two years here before entering college? Pagsanahan National High School
isn’t perfect. There were equipments and facilities we’ve much desired and wished we had.
And there are things we know this school lack of. But if there’s something that we should be
proud of about this institution are our teachers. Our teachers who built and developed our skills,
helped us achieve goals we knew impossible and taught us to be brave, tough and focused
inside and outside the four corners of this institution. Truly, we are very proud to say that we
were trained by the best teachers and that we couldn’t ask for more because they are already
enough to meet the quality education we wanted. And it is just the one reason why I chose to
stay here out of many on why I should’ve transferred in the first place.

Yes, I consider the school as my comfort zone because I studied here for 4 years and an
additional two years could be easy to work on. There’s no more need for me to adjust, I’m
familiar with everything in the place and I already know what I’m doing. This might be true at
some points, but senior high-school changed my perspective. There were new sets of teachers,
rules, harder tests, hectic schedules, mind draining exams and physically tiring activities which
led us to be at the midst of pressure and peak of our emotional distress, wherein, time
management is the only solution suggested by those who also struggled before us.

I may say that studying in the 21st century isn’t that easy, you bear a lot of
responsibilities and a lot of skills should be worked on to keep pace in this ever changing world.
Honestly speaking, everything is spoon-fed in this generation – we have the internet, the web
and all the information we need are already available anytime anywhere. Society believes and
depends on us. They expect us to know everything and they believe everything we know leads
us to success. High expectations are on point which most of the time frustrates and distresses
us, however, these expectations pressures us to bring out the best of what we have. Just like
when you make a fruit shake, the more pressure you put on squeezing that fruit, the more
nutrients will be catalyzed. We are the fruits of the fatherland and the more society pressures
and squeeze us to our limits; it is more likely we can share the nutrients of our success for the
goodness of humanity.
Personally, at first I was frustrated with the additional two years in high school. The only
thing I see about it is the additional financial burden to us especially to our parents. It only adds
more kilometres to our road to finish line, who would’ve want to be in the long run? I was so
naive and all I wanted was to finish my college degree already, find a stable job and earn as
much money as I can so I could payback my parents. I always have this mindset that I should
be the one to finish everything first, that I should always be on top of everybody else and
achieve for perfection. I guess this mindset is also attached to any top/honour student out there
who never just settles for less and aims for perfection.

The first time I stepped into high school didn't disappoint me. I considered learning as
happier here since some of the teachers use a bit humour when they teach, you will meet a lot
of friends whether they were younger or older than you. I became so active physically and
socially. I was so happy. It's like the quote where they said "high school is the best" is really true
since I was also able to maintain my ranking while doing a lot of extracurricular at the same
time.

But, there were also a lot of obstacles that came into my way during my junior high days.
There were times when my parents can't afford to give me 'baon' since I spent all the money for
buying new sim cards and buying load. I felt like I had to blame no one but myself, I have no
choice but to stay at home during those times. With the recurring contests and extracurricular
activities tied with struggle of me maintaining my grades when I was in Junior High School
(JHS), it was so hard for me to balance everything and even reached the peak of giving up as
my mental, emotional and physical health is thoroughly abused.

But looking at my parents, I could also see them struggling and never giving up as they
try their best to send me to school every day, calling almost all our family members and relatives
just to borrow money so they could fulfil my needs of my schooling. My mom is just a housewife
and my father works as a farmer, but not a land owner. They don't make a lot of money and
everything they have even when there's nothing left, had to be sacrificed just to give me a good
education. Because of them, I never gave up and I am so grateful that they are with me in this
fight.

As a young teenager, I have insecurities too. I saw other students living their lives to the
fullest, having the up-to-date gadgets, most having large houses and some riding vehicles going
to school. I even felt ashamed back then whenever someone asks where my parents works or
how much money do they make, because I was an ambitious child and I dreamt for everything
that I see. I felt so envious and asked myself why should I experience this well in fact I'm the
best student I think I am and deserve what they deserve too?

Then, I realized one thing - life is not fair and it will never be. People like me needs to
work harder to achieve our goals while the others don't, and even if they didn't, they will still live
a luxurious life compared to us who will struggle and may even be old enough before buying our
first cars or houses. To be honest, as a person who grew up as a poor, I fancy things that rich
people have - money, fame, cars, mansions, high-end gadgets, branded clothes and brand-new
shoes. This is how ambitious I am as a young person. And to achieve these things is for me to
become a teacher, flight attendant or a pharmacist whom in fact, is the fields who makes more
money today than any other professions.

I stepped into Senior high school and this time, our academic lives became so much
harder and more complex than I expected since we were still on the experimental stage of the
K-12 program. Books are unavailable and so we need to browse the net with many unnecessary
stuff which eventually results to an information overload. The pressure adds up to me being a
top honour student, I felt like squeezing myself everyday to maintain what I have now. Doing
everything at the same time with flying colours - creating the best project that I could, perfecting
that quiz or exam, being the leader on almost all group works and doing the hardest thing in the
academic world since people around me expected me to do so. I always thought during the
early days of schooling that being on top is an advantage, but as I get old I realized maybe I
was wrong and maybe I was too obsessed with my grades where I'm getting to the point where I
have to risk my health as a well-being because as I remember there were some days where I
passed out during examination weeks and I need to go home and take the special exam instead
the week after. I always prioritize my academic standing even if it means risking the other side
of the coin, my health as a human being.

Because of the too much obsession on grades, I sacrificed my social life. When studying
I became so independent, I don't have a lot of true friends and I consider myself loner most of
the times (which I think it's my choice), choosing to burn that midnight oil grinding on lessons
late at night rather than attending a particular celebration or a memorable family reunion. During
exams, I always target if not a perfect score, at least the highest one. Yes, it's fulfilling to be on
top but you don't even know how hard it is for us when we fail. Failing in a perspective of a top
student is the biggest nightmare of all time. And for the very first time in my life, I got my lowest
score which pulled down my average. That “lowest score” has a big impact to my academic

performance and I can’t get over.

Failure. All I see is failure. What I did was a failure. I was a failure to my friends, to my
family and to people who always believed in me. And maybe the people who underestimated
me weren’t wrong at all. People didn’t stop asking questions why it happened and the more they
utter questions of why it did makes me feel more depressed especially when it comes from
some of my friends, and it was the reason why I was also afraid to tell about this happening to
my family. What else would be more painful than being a disappointment to your family? I felt so
guilty and annoyed of my own self. And for the first time, I felt worthless and meaningless.
Asked myself questions like - Did I just become dumb? Maybe I didn’t keep track with the
competition inside the classroom and I didn’t keep pace well with my competitors? Or maybe I
should just change or level up my learning strategies to be better than anyone else?

It's not about the standing that matters to me but the anxiety of getting too much
attention for disappointment with the people around me especially my family. You aren't just
able to meet their high expectations and they might think something is wrong with you but in
fact, you're well and good. The depression I felt during those days where people looked at me
as a subject of failure, I started experiencing anxiety attacks and even thought of suicide as an
option.

Until one person approached me, knocked on the door and asked if everything's okay,
then I said no since I'm on the depth of depression. I started talking about what I feel and as I
share things, I did feel better about everything. I never felt alone as what I think I was when I
was a child. I was relieved on my senses and eventually got back on track. I preserved and
never did I worry about the grades now, I only did what I'm capable of and tried to balance every
aspect of life without sacrificing the other. I started to spend more time with my friends, my
family and be able to do things that I love every now and then. I, myself, would never thought to
be happier in this point of my life

I realized that grades are just numbers and is not a guarantee to a better job or a better
future because in the larger world, we are all equal. Many of the obstacles and odds we won
over could not be measured by grades. Indeed, we are all achievers in every field we are good
at.
When I was young, I wish high school would be done fast so I can finish my college
degree, be a professional and eventually be rich. I was so naive but then I finally realize my
purpose. As a famous philosopher once said, “Success is meaningless unless shared for the
good of humanity.”

After all, we are not born perfect and failure is also a good thing in this world. Also, it’s
not about the destination but the journey itself. You will never enjoy or even reach the
destination if you will not dive happily into the journey or the process. Life is not about what you
have but how much you can give over what you have.

Our graduation is not the ending of our suffering; it’s only the beginning of a bigger
journey of the larger world beyond this institution. Success in life is not a race where everyone
eager to finish faster. Every single person has their own time pace and finish lines. Life is
profound and unpredictable, difficult to answer its meaning. Don’t rush things out, enjoy the
journey and you’ll get to the destination you’re eyeing for.