Communication Principles
1. Communication Is Unavoidable
A fundamental axiom of communication is “One cannot not communicate.” Facial
expression, posture, gesture, clothing, and a host of other behaviors offer cues about our
attitudes. The impossibility of not communicating means that we send messages even by
our absence. Failing to show up at an event or leaving the room suggests meanings to
others. Because communication is unavoidable, it is essential to consider the unintentional
messages you send.
2. Communication Operates on Two Levels
Every time two or more people communicate, they exchange two kinds of messages. The
most obvious ones are content messages—information about the topic under discussion.
But at a less apparent level, the communicators also exchange relational messages—
signals indicating how they feel about one another.24 Relational messages indicate a
variety of attitudes. An important one is affinity—the degree to which a communicator
likes the other person in general or a particular message that is being sent. Another kind
of relational message deals with control—the amount of influence in that situation.
Communication theorists sometimes talk about three self-explanatory distributions of
control that can exist between communicators: “one up,” “one down,” and “straight
across.” A third type of relational message can reflect a communicator’s degree of respect
for the other person or people. Note that respect and affinity aren’t always identical: It is
possible to like others without respecting them and to respect them without liking them.
In the world of work, respect and liking don’t always go hand in hand.
3. Communication Is Irreversible
At one time or another, we have all wished we could take back words we regretted
uttering. Unfortunately, this isn’t possible. Our words and deeds are recorded in others’
memories, and we can’t erase them. As the old saying goes, people may forgive, but they
don’t forget. In fact, often the more vigorously you try to erase an act, the more vividly it
stands out. This means you should weigh your words carefully. An offhand comment or a
critical remark uttered in the heat of conflict can haunt you long afterward.
4. Communication Is a Process
It is not accurate to talk about an “act” of communication as if sending or receiving a
message were an isolated event. Rather, every communication event needs to be examined
as part of its communication context, as we described a few pages ago. Suppose, for
example, your boss responds to your request for a raise by saying, “I was going to ask you
to take a cut in pay!” How would you react? The answer probably depends on several
factors: Is your boss a joker or a serious person? How does the comment fit into the
history of your relationship—have your boss’s remarks been critical or supportive in the
past? How does the message fit with ones you have received from other people? What
mood are
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you in today? All these questions show that the meaning of a message depends in part on
what has happened before. Each message is part of a process: It doesn’t occur in isolation.
5. Communication Is Not a Panacea
Although communication can smooth out the bumps and straighten the road to success, it
won’t always get you what you want. If the quality of communication is poor, the results
are likely to be disappointing. This explains why some problems grow worse the longer
they are discussed. Misunderstandings and ill feelings can increase when people
communicate badly. Even effective communication won’t solve all problems: There are
some situations in which the parties understand one another perfectly and still disagree.
These limitations are important to understand as you begin to study communication on the
job. Boosting your communication skills can increase your effectiveness, but it isn’t a cure
all.
6. Communication Often Presents Ethical Challenges
One writer observed, “The trouble with business ethics is that many people think the
phrase is an oxymoron. They hear it, giggle, and say things like, ‘You mean like military
intelligence, eh?’ Despite this cynical attitude, there is a growing recognition that
behaving ethically is an essential part of being an effective, promotable employee. As
two business experts put it,
To be sure, business is still measured by revenues and profits, but today,
shareholders, regulators, customers, the financial press—and even employees—expect
those revenues and profits to be made in an ethical manner. Hardly a day goes by without
the newspaper reminding us that business without ethics is business at risk.
We see and hear firsthand how managers at companies, trade associations, and
large organizations are working earnestly to inculcate ethical decision-making down
through the ranks. Machiavellian employees are being weeded out and passed over in
favor of individuals who demonstrate their core ethical values every day. Corporate
infrastructure and performance systems that may have encouraged employees to do the
wrong thing in the past are being scrutinized and modified to ensure good results.
Employees are not “insulated” either from senior management or from the potential
victims of misconduct. Rather, they are encouraged to dissent, report, challenge, and act
when they spot a problem. Updated codes of conduct, 1-800 hot lines, ethics training, and
ethics audits are fast becoming the norm at many businesses. Even boards of directors
are taking the time to reflect on their ethical responsibilities.
Finally, several hundred corporations and organizations now include an ethics
officer in their organization chart who reports directly to the chairman. While all would
agree that there is still work to be done, they would strongly debate the notion that
business ethics is different from everyday ethics.
A blanket obligation to communicate ethically can be too vague to be helpful in
specific situations. Business professor Gene R. Laczniak suggests five ethical standards
that may help communicators decide how to behave in a principled manner:
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1. The Golden Rule Standard: Is this the way in which I would want to be
treated by others?
2. The Professional Ethic: How would this action be judged by an impartial
jury of my professional peers?
3. Immanuel Kant’s Categorical Imperative: Could our society continue to
function if everyone acted in this fashion?
4. The Utilitarian Rule: Does this action do the most good for the most people
over the greatest period of time?
5. The “60 Minutes” Test: Would you be comfortable explaining your behavior
on the famous national television show? As you face the inescapable ethical
challenges in your career, these guidelines can help you decide how to act.
